"You said what?" I yelled at Jj, understanding that Topper had just said the truth.
"Lil, you have to understand," Jj said I walked up to him slowly. "Understand what?" I yelled. Everyone looked like they had just been shot, Sarah's mouth was wide open, Kie had an afraid look on her face, Pope was looking at Jj with disgusted eyes and John B looked stunned.
"I was just trying to irritate him-" Jj said before my hand reached his cheek and I slapped him, making a loud smack sound. Everyone gasped at what I had just done,
"You're fucking dead to me Jj," I said before walking off. Jj touched his cheek and looked between me and the floor a couple of times. "Lil, please," Jj begged. I ignored him and left the station, tears coming to my eyes. Rafe, Topper, and Sarah all jogged towards me.
Meanwhile, I could hear Kie and Pope yell at Jj.
"Lil," Sarah, Rafe, and Topper all yelled behind me. The three of them came up to me and gave me a long hug. "Do you want me to drop you off at home or do you want to stay at mine?" Rafe asked me softly while placing a kiss on my forehead and wiping the tears off my face. "Why didn't you tell me?" I mumbled. "Huh?" Rafe answered. "Why didn't you tell me what Jj said, you should have told me," I said to Rafe, looking at the ground. "I didn't want to alarm-" Rafe tried to explain before I interrupted him. "I want to be with Sarah right now," I said, my tone wasn't present. Topper and Rafe looked at each other hesitantly.
"Ok, I love you," Rafe said, he hugged me and placed a kiss on my forehead once again. "Mhm," I hummed. I was numb.
To some people, it may have seemed like I was overreacting. But that phrase brought me back. It brought me back to that period. When I was like a paintbrush, dipped in dark ink. Slowly, every part of me was gone, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a different Lillian. One whose colors were brushed out of.
"Lil, I'm sorry," Topper tried to say before Sarah took my hand and we left the station together. "Do you want to go to our spot?" She whispered in my ear as I placed my head on her shoulder. Everyone needs to get themselves a Sarah.
I nodded softly and so did she in response. Our spot was an abandoned treehouse that we had transformed into a girl's room when we were little. If either one of us was upset then we would go there together and talk. It was away from our houses so no one could easily find us there. We got to the treehouse after a fifteen-minute walk which I appreciated, just to clear my mind. The walk was quiet, that's what me and Sarah had, we didn't need words to understand one another.
We got to the treehouse and climbed up the fragile wooden stairs. We cozied up on the pillows and I could see Sarah thinking. "So? What do you think about the situation?" Sarah asked with a soft and delicate tone.
"I don't know if I'm being honest," I said with a chuckle. She smiled at me. "I'm just mad. Tired of it all." I said. "What do you mean?" Sarah asked softly.
"You know what Jj said?" I asked and she nodded sadly.
"Daniel once said that to me. Something like that. It was once I tried to move on from him, the first night I did." I said without a single sound of life in my voice, Sarah looked at me with wide-open eyes.
"I don't really remember how it all went down. But I feel the same way I did that exact day. Except, I moved on. I don't love him anymore. But somehow I feel like I'm still moving on. Do you get what I mean?" I said with a chuckle, even though tears were forming in my eyes. Sarah held my hand tighter than she ever had.
"I take a step forward. I move on. I fall back in love, with someone different. So much better. Someone I would fucking die for. But then all it takes is for me to see one thing that reminds me of him and I feel like, I fucking feel dead. I don't have it in me anymore. To get flashbacks to when he touched me. To think about his skin on mine. To be constantly reminded of his existence. And Rafe, he's just what I want in a person. He treats me so well, he's all that I need. I get that our being together was a shock to everyone, I truly get it. But what no one understands is that our love just showed up. It was out of the blue, random, but that doesn't make it any weaker. I don't even care about what Jj said, as bad as that is I'm not fucking surprised. But does he know how many fucking panic attacks I've gotten over the last few weeks?" The words just left my mouth without me realizing it, it was like I was talking to myself.
"Because of notes showing up at the wreck or in a bathroom. And when the notes come, my body is taken back to how Daniel would say and do things that shouldn't ever be done. And I defended him. But then I think of Rafe. I think of his scent, his eyes, his smile, the way he looks when he's just woken up in the morning. And all the clouds in my head leave, they become butterflies." I say the last sentence brings a smile to my face, a genuine one.
"But then when that all comes out of my head I'm scared, I'm scared that we're going to get pulled away. I'm scared that our love won't be strong enough, that eventually, he'll stop holding on to me and my burdens. Why is it like that Sar? Why can't I just be happy, because when I'm with him, I forget about all of this. I forget about Daniel, I forget about what happened that night. But every time I'm away from him, it comes back. Like right now I'm in this fucking treehouse, it used to be a safe spot for me, but when Daniel hit me I would hide here. Alone. And now I'm getting flashbacks and I can't figure shit out." I said, tears falling down my face. Sarah looked at me with sadness in her eyes, it was clear. She sat close to me and just hugged me.
"Why can't I get rid of him?" I said she knew who I was referring to. I cried, loud sobs escaping my mouth. Sarah hugged me tight. Not saying anything, again, that told me more than any words could. I don't know how but she noticed the necklace around my neck.
"What's this?" she asked softly. I looked down at the necklace, Rafe. Just as I had said, just thinking of him made the storm in my head become sunshine. I smiled at its sight. Sarah read what the necklace said and smiled.
"I love you Sar," I said to her. "I love you too Lil," she said and hugged me tight.
__________________
Sarah's POV:
The next morning we were woken up by an alarm on my phone. We had fallen asleep in the tree house. I groaned and turned the alarm I had forgotten about off. The previous night came back in flash memories. Lillian had said a mountain of things. What she had told me left me with one certainty and one doubt. I was sure that Rafe loved her to death. That had been something I had known for a while now. But what I didn't understand was how much they needed each other to live. I almost felt like Rafe, was part of what was keeping Lillian alive. My doubt though, haunted me even throughout my sleep. Lillian mentioned a thing about some notes. What did she mean? The look on her face when she mentioned them made me understand that it was something that she had hidden on purpose. Something bad. Lillian groaned next to me and checked her phone. She smiled at a text. Probably from Rafe.
Lillian's POV:
Sarah's alarm woke the both of us up. I groaned and glanced at my phone's screen, I noticed a notification from Rafe.
Rafe❤️
Good morning my love
Rafe❤️
How are you
Me
Good morning
Me
I'm good wbu
Rafe❤️
Good, r u mad at me from last night?
Me
no, it's fine you did nothing wrong.
Rafe❤️
Mhm
Me
Are you doing anything today?
Rafe❤️
Oh yeah actually I wanted to ask you something
Me
What?
Rafe❤️
Yk my friend Max?
Me
The one u met at the bar?
Rafe❤️
Yeah
Me
What about him?
Rafe❤️
We're going golfing together today do u want to join us? He said he would like to meet you or something
Me
Sure
Me
Why did you talk to him about me?😉
Rafe❤️
Yeah❤️
Me
What did u say?
Rafe❤️
Just how much I love you
Me
Yeah? And how much is that?
Rafe❤️
How about I show you after we met him
Me
Mhm
Rafe❤️
Okay, see you at three
Me
Okay
Me
I love you
Rafe❤️
I love you more❤️
I smiled and held my phone close to my chest. I thought back to my meltdown yesterday. I think I was mainly letting everything out. Daniel's presence was something that was always there. But Rafe made me realize that he wasn't there. He was somewhere far away from me.
While my love for Rafe, was right there, with me. Gosh the things I would do for him.
__________________________________
Soon enough it was two p.m. and I went to my house to get ready for golfing. I wore a white mini tennis skirt and a polo, along with a visor. I was actually excited to meet Max, he seemed to have gotten really close to Rafe over the past two weeks and that made me happy for Rafe.
I wanted to be friends with his friends so overall I was pumped.
I walked over to Rafe's and went in with my set of keys. I went up to Rafe's room and knocked on the door. "Busy," he said. I opened the door anyway, "Sarah, get out," he yelled. I chuckled at him and he lifted his face from his bed to look at me.
"What a nice way to greet me," I said and he stood up. "Sorry I thought you were Sarah," he said and I smiled at him. He gave me a soft kiss.
"What were you doing?" I said and glanced at his computer. "Nothing," he said as he shut it closed. "Okay?" I said, it was a little bit weird but I let it slip out of my mind.
"You ready to go?" he asked me and I nodded. "Are you?" I asked looking at what he was wearing. Sweatpants and a white tee, perfect for golfing.
"Oh shit, I'm not," he said and pulled out of a drawer his golfing outfit. He put it on in front of me which made me chuckle. "I am now," he said and I smiled. We headed towards the country club. In the car I assured him for the millionth time that we were cool and that everything was fine. We arrived at the club and headed towards the golf course. I looked at Rafe and he was looking around.
"There he is, I'll go take my clubs from the lockers you can go to him." He said pointing in the direction of a man. Who was waiting for someone, back facing us.
"Okay, I love you." I said to him. "I love you more," he answered. He gave me a quick kiss and left in the direction of the lockers.
I walked towards Max. I tapped him on the shoulder.
"Hi are you..." I said but was cut off by him turning around.
"Daniel?" I said.
"Missed me Lil?"
Notes From the Author:
SHIT IS GOING DOWN Y'ALL
I really hope you guys are liking the story!! I have pretty much the whole book planned out in my head so I'm really excited!!!
Sorry for the late post but once again I got busy. Btw I'm starting school soon so I think updates will be twice or three times a week because I have to focus mainly on school. But for now I'm still on vacation!!
Please comment your thoughts and vote if you feel like it!!
Love you all so much! X!