Squalid Squirrel on TV: I'm Squalid Squirrel! (laughs)
Bean: Ugh, listen to that annoying voice. It's like the squirrel of my dreams.
Luci: (smirking) Just when I thought I had you pegged.
Alva: Ah, the pure delight of cartoons. But this is absolute madness! Skeletons dancing? Unless...
Jerry: Cartoons are my jam. It's reality, but for dummies.
Bean: Quiet down, just enjoy it.
Alva: (turning around, surprised) Bean! Come out, and let me guess, you're Moose. Care for a brew, love?
Jerry: Yes.
Bean: No.
Jerry: Yes!
Bean: Maybe later.
Jerry: Yes.
Bean: (sighs) Alright, yes. But first, tell me why the elevator from hell leads straight to your office. What's your deal with hell, and where's that beer?
Y/n: (revealing himself) Surprise, just like that. I fibbed, there's no beer here. (takes another sip, grinning) You know, just sipping on the source of inspiration. However, I'm afraid it's not on the menu for you. (takes a sip, grinning)
Summoning robotic lamps, Y/n's henchbots entered the scene.
Y/n: Oops, fibbed again. Of course, there's beer, but sorry, it's not for you. (takes a sip, grinning)
Bean: Jerry, hand me that hammer.
Jerry swiftly handed over the hammer, and Bean smashed the approaching lamps.
Y/n: Those bulbs were high-end and sold separately.
Bean: Alright, spill it, Alva. I want names, dates, three beers, and a bowl of nuts. And don't even think of fibbing.
Alva: Alright, before we engage in any unnecessary clobbering, let me just say that I fully comprehend the extent of my monumental screw-up. I admit, I've fallen quite hard for your unique charm, but I understand that love isn't something you can force.
Bean: (sarcastically) Well, isn't that touching? Because newsflash, I don't even like you.
Alva: (feigning surprise) Really? What a shocker. I mean, who wouldn't adore the delightful presence of the buck-toothed degenerate that you are? (rolls eyes)
Bean marched over to Alva, who quickly wheeled away in his fancy new mechanized chair.
Bean: Fancy contraption you got there, but save the theatrics.
Alva: (smirking) Oh, this? My latest invention, the Arse Chariot. Fancy a spin? (winks)
Bean: Knock it off. What's your connection to hell, Alva?
Alva: Well, you see, we're neighbors. Can't choose 'em, can ya? (winks, hinting at how hell plays a part in the Steamland's steam, and technically, he's the prince of Steamland, so they're kinda intertwined) And remember that amusement ride of yours?
Bean: Yeah, the one that didn't mention anything about hell?
Alva: (grinning) Steam and hell, dear. We've had quite the deal going on. (winks)
Bean: (skeptical) Oh, please, spare me the elaborate sentence. Just spill it.
Alva: Satan? Oh, he's quite the charming chap. And quite the looker too.
Bean: What's he look like?
Alva: Picture this – red face, little horns, high cheekbones to die for, and a pointy goatee.
Bean: (glances at hot sauce bottle) You're just describing the hot sauce bottle. What about his eyes?
Alva: Swirly beach balls, if beach balls had an affinity for fire.
Bean: (catching on) So you have met him! And hold on a second, you're making shady deals with the devil and going about all nonchalant?
Jerry starts humming a tune.
Bean: Jerry!
Jerry: Oh, my bad. I thought we were doing a musical number.
Bean: (to Alva) You know what, maybe the fine folks of Steamland would get a kick out of knowing you're cozying up with Satan, huh? I'm gonna let everyone in on your little secret. I'll reveal that your so-called "Stience" –
Y/n: *It's actually "science."
Bean: (annoyed) Just hush. I'll expose that it's powered by hellfire and the kind of damnation that keeps grandmas awake at night.
Luci: And I'll make sure Satan hears all about your colorful opinions on his dear mother.
Alva: (quickly defends) Wait, wait, hold on! That's not what I said, Lucifer.
Luci: (grinning) Too late. I'm spinning it that way for maximum dramatic effect.
Alva: (grinning) Gotta admit, Bean, you're strangely attractive when you're all fired up.
Bean: Jerry, restrain me! Hold me back, Jerry! (Jerry tries to hold her back)
Jerry: I'm holding on, I'm holding on!
Alva: (innocently) Oh dear, I didn't know my compliment could offend you so deeply.
Bean: (struggling) Let me at him, Jerry! Just don't let me actually hit him. Seriously, be careful! Don't get too close!
Alva: (winking) Oh, the kinky threats, I'm into that stuff. Careful now, wouldn't want any accidental hits.
Bean: (scoffs) Ugh, stop being weird!
Alva: Sorry, I just can't resist. But hey, I'm determined to earn your trust back, Bean. And if it involves a little bit of a physical exchange, well, who am I to complain? Hit me if you must. I might secretly be into it. It's all in the name of rebuilding trust, of course.
Luci: (sarcastically) Oh yeah, pure intentions. Like your intentions of pure... uh, "Lust-building."
Alva: Lust? Oh, absolutely. Nothing says "Lust-building" like a good old-fashioned physical confrontation.
Alva: Bean, look at me. It's midnight, I'm sitting alone, watching cartoons, and savoring the exquisite taste of beans from a can. If that doesn't scream trustworthiness, I don't know what does. I'm here to prove that you can trust me, starting with taking you home.
Alva conjures a colossal airship.
Alva: Feast your eyes on the grandest airship in all of Steamland. I affectionately call it the "Air Compensator." We're embarking on a journey to Dreamland, Bean. And on the way, you'll witness a convergence of science and magic that'll blow your mind.
Jerry smacks Alva on the back of his head with his hammer.
Alva: Ouch!
Bean: Jerry!
Jerry: He just wouldn't quit babbling.
Bean: Oh, what's this? A sudden outbreak of hammer-to-head treatment for incessant blabbering? Quite effective, I must say.
Alva's appearance transforms, revealing Y/n beneath the facade. Bean is stunned.
Bean: (jaw drops) Alva... You're... Y/n?
Y/n: (with a grin) Surprise! Just like that.
Bean: (wide-eyed) But... how? What?
Y/n: (mischievously) Ah, the wonders of a good makeover spell. Devilishly convincing, isn't it?
Bean: (stammers) I can't believe... you were... and I...
Y/n: (laughs) I know, I know. It's quite the dramatic reveal. But hey, let me explain.
Bean: (still baffled) Explain? Please do. My brain's processing power is currently equivalent to that of a sloth on sedatives.
Y/n: (seriously) Remember how I was this prince of K/n, wrapped up in the mundane royal life? I got fed up with the whole shtick. I wanted something more, something adventurous. I wanted be prince of something else.
Bean: (slowly understanding) So, you made a deal with Satan?
Y/n: (nodding) Bingo. He offered me a deal, I took the leap, and here we are. And let me tell you, it's been a wild ride. The prince of Steamland.
Bean: (still processing) A prince, huh? More like a prince of disguise.
Y/n: (winks) Well, I had to keep you on your toes, didn't I?
Bean: (laughs) You certainly succeeded. So, what's the grand plan now, oh enigmatic dealmaker?
Y/n: (with a playful grin) Well, first things first. Check this out.
Y/n activates a strange device that projects a bizarre, adult-themed live-action scene featuring live action versions of Bean, Y/n, and Elfo with Elfo looking hilariously terrifying.
Bean: (horrified) What the hell is that?! Is that Elfo?!
Y/n: (chuckles) Just a glimpse into the creative uses of science and magic combined. Don't worry, we're keeping it PG-13.
Bean: (shivers) I'd hate to see the R-rated version.
Y/n: (slyly) Maybe later.
They proceed to board the airship, and on the way, they unexpectedly encounter none other than Brady Seagull, the news reporter.
Bean: (scoffs) Ugh, not this guy again.
Brady: (smugly) Well, well, if it isn't the infamous Bean.
Bean: (sarcastically) Oh joy, a Brady sighting. My day just got a thousand times better.
Brady: (cheerful) Aw, always a pleasure, my dear. Your adoration really warms my heart.
Bean: (gritting teeth) If only I could warm your face with my fist.
They continue their bickering, and just when Brady becomes unbearable, they finally manage to board the airship.
Bean: (shouting at Brady) Enjoy your "admirable" reporting, Brady! Somewhere where I can't hear it!
As the airship begins to take off, they leave Brady behind, both relieved and amused by their confrontation.
Luci: (grinning) You know, Bean, you and Brady could be the poster children for mutual loathing.
Bean: (rolling eyes) Ugh, don't even joke about that, Luci. The last thing I need is to be associated with him.
Y/n: (chuckling) Well, here's to avoiding the "Brady and Bean Show" spin-off.
Bean: (raising imaginary glasses) Hear, hear! Let's keep the airwaves Brady-free.
As their airship sailed through the skies, Luci's headless body unexpectedly crash-landed onto their protective shield.
Luci: (frantic) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold your horses! That's my body you've got there!
Jerry managed to grasp Luci's body as it tried to fly off again.
Jerry: (amused) Seems like this one's in a playful mood.
Bean: Alright, tag team time. I'll handle the soul, and you take care of the head. On the count of three. One, two, three!
Jerry steadied Luci's body while Bean carefully poured the soul back into it. The head was then placed atop the body, and Luci was whole once again.
Luci: (gasping dramatically) I am whole! (glancing at his posterior) Oh, and what a fine derriere I possess.
Bean: (nodding) Not bad at all.
Suddenly, Luci's head decided to take a spontaneous leap from his shoulders, causing Jerry to catch it and place it back.
Jerry: Welcome back, buddy.
Y/n: (with a wry grin) Ah, the classic decapitation-and-reattachment dance. A true crowd-pleaser.
Jerry and Luci exchanged a high-five, resulting in Luci's head tumbling again.
Jerry: Oops, sorry about that. (raising his hammer)
Luci: (panicking) No, no, no! Hammer time, not in a good way! I'm solid, really. Lefty-Luci, righty-tighty.
Luci deftly twisted his head back into place, only to send it spinning once more.
Y/n: (chuckling) It's like a demonic twist on the hokey pokey.
Luci: (joining in the humor) You know it, buddy. Who needs a chiropractor when you've got a hammer-wielding Bonehead?
Their laughter echoed in the airship, the absurdity of their situation now a shared joke among friends.
As their airship sailed onward, a peculiar sight caught their attention: a cluster of Ogres engaged in some curious activity.
Jerry: Well, I'll be a barrel of pickled newts! Look at that—an itsy-bitsy elf engaged in an embrace with a gigantic ogre.
Bean: (squinting) Elf? Where? (spots Elfo being playfully pursued by an ogre) Elfo! Hang on, we're coming to the rescue!
They swiftly lowered a rope, deftly catching Elfo by the neck.
Bean: (reassuringly) Don't worry, Elfo! We're swooping in to save you!
At the same time, they extended the rope toward another figure, whom Bean affectionately referred to as "Pops."
Bean: (encouraging) And don't think we forgot about you, Pops! We're here to rescue you too!
Pops: (nonchalant) Oh, no need for that, my dear. I'm having quite the splendid time right where I am.
Pops seemed perfectly content, much to the bemusement of Bean and the others.