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𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗕𝗘𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗠𝗘
BONUS THREE: QSMP
[ FEATURING: TEAM
RED'S FIRST DAY OF
PURGATORY AND
SUNNYSIDEUP ]
in a world of boys, he's a
gentleman
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long chapter ftw?
REAL LIFE
IF LUNA WAS being completely honest, she had no idea what she was doing at the moment.
When she had received the invitation to join the QSMP, she had immediately accepted. Spending time on a Minecraft server with egg children and her friends? Sign her up. It was just even better that she would be playing with Noah and Leo, who she had met multiple times prior and was already in love with. Even though her and Noah technically weren't canon in this universe — shoutout to Vegetta — it would still be nice to play Minecraft with him for once. Besides, this was her first major SMP.
But it was her first day, and she was already lost.
See, she couldn't just join the server in a normal way. No, that wouldn't do. There was a whole event surrounding new members joining. And she wasn't the only new member joining — there were also Tina, Niki, Mouse, Tubbo, Lenay, Rivers, Willy, Pol, and German. She had met them all (well, besides Tina, Niki, Mouse, and Tubbo) while running around . . . wherever she was.
"I'm confused, I'm hungry, I don't know," Luna complained. "What does the blue box mean? What does it all mean?"
"I think we have to craft things, Luna," Tubbo replied as he ran past her.
"Craft what?"
"I don't know yet."
Luna put her head in her hands. "I'm having a hard time."
"Here, Lunes, just come with me," Tubbo insisted.
"Okay, if you say so."
Tubbo then started saying a bunch of shit that Luna wasn't comprehending. She just followed him around like a lost puppy, mining and gathering materials that he told her to. The others joined them, and they were all trying to figure out what was going on, but no one seemed to have a clue — well, besides Tubbo, of course.
Basically, it was a shit show of people just wandering around aimlessly trying to figure out what was happening, with some intermissions of getting to know each other better.
Eventually, the admins seemed to get sick of them not understanding, and ordered them to go back to their rooms that they had started in. It was actually kind of funny that the admins just decided that enough was enough and that they were going to do it for them. Which Luna was thankful for, truly, because it had been about an hour of just straight confusion.
Luna went down the elevator after being instructed to by an admin blowing bubbles and instantly got a video about Quesadilla Island and how great it was . . . with some strange glitches, which started to make her think it wasn't as great as the video made it out to be. Once the video was done, there was a loading screen, and once she reached one hundred percent, there was a weird user information thing along with some pictures of the island.
"Oh, hey, there's Noah's dragon build," Luna commented. "He's actually insane. I don't know how he does it." Her screen then came back, showing that she was trapped somewhere. "Oh, shit." She looked in the bottom left of her screen as messages came up. "Now how the hell did Tubbo fall from a high place if he had to do the same thing as me?"
Strange noises came from around her. Luna turned her character around and tried to break through the glass, but it was absolutely no use. She was just trapped, surrounded by blocks that didn't break and with nothing but her own thoughts.
"Chat, I regret joining the QSMP," Luna admitted. "Only because of Quackity. Because he put me here and planned that whole bullshit thing that we couldn't even figure out." She then glanced down again. "And he was killed by a Zombie. Good. I haven't even seen him yet and we're already on bad terms." She then focused on her chat, which was going pretty fast. "Q!Luna is bitter. Hell yeah, she is. Normal Luna is bitter."
There wasn't much else to do besides sit there and wait to be rescued. She placed her chin in the palm of her hand, staring at the frosted glass.
"Well, this is exciting. I love being frozen. How're you doing, chat?" She suddenly straightened up upon hearing voices in the distance. "Oh?"
"WHERE IS LUNA?" Noah's voice faintly shouted.
"Foosh!" Luna exclaimed, making her character jump and down in game. "I'm here, I'm here!"
At once, a crowd of people came flooding into the little room. Luna laughed a little at how they were running around, looking at everyone. Most of the people she had already met, either from their close circle of friends or from just talking to them through Noah's character whenever she was in his streaming room. However, at once, Noah's character walked up to her, ignoring practically everyone else.
Noah's character glanced around for a moment before moving closer to the ice. "Hola, mi niña bonita."
Luna smiled, her cheeks feeling warm. "Hey, handsome." She moved closer to the ice a little bit. "I'm not sure we're supposed to be talking to each other like this in Minecraft."
"They don't have to know."
"Oh, okay." She then gasped happily as Cellbit ran up to them. "Cellbit!"
"Hi, Luna," Cellbit responded before waving at her. "Foosh, I think we have to break the ice."
"Right," Noah agreed. He then brought out his pickaxe. "I'm breaking it, I'm breaking it."
Soon enough, Luna was freed from her block prison. Instantly, she was surrounded by a bunch of people, all saying hi to her. It was a lot of voices at once, which kind of made her head spin, but she ran around in circles in excitement.
"Hi guys," Luna announced. "I'm here!" She then paused before seeing a familiar face and crouched. "Oh my God, it's Philza Minecraft. My legend."
Phil laughed his iconic laugh. "Hi, Luna."
The room was filled with so many people and so many pieces that it was hard to hear. They all then gathered around a little platform area, where Quackity welcomed everyone. He then suggested that all of them introduced themselves, and Luna patiently waited her turn.
"Luna!" Noah shouted, punching her character. "Get up there!"
"Ow, jeez, okay," Luna said, walking up on the two cobblestone blocks. "Um, hi, I'm Luna. I speak English and a very, very limited amount of Spanish. I also like to sing a lot. I'm really happy to be here, but while I'm up here, I want to say that Quackity and I have beef now."
"What the fuck?" Quackity asked with a laugh. "Why?"
"Because what the actual fuck was that whole thing? The admins got tired of us just wandering around aimlessly and did the puzzle for us." She then cleared her throat. "Anyways. Nice to meet all of you."
Luna left the stage as the whole crowd cheered for them. Introductions finished, and they all went back to spawn. Luna kept walking around, staring up at all the impressive builds while Tina screamed as Noah killed her with his enchanted weapon. The others crowded around him and killed him, leaving just his body on the ground.
"Oh my God, free things," Luna commented, running up to his body. "Woah, what the fuck is a grappling? I've never seen this before."
Noah came back to them, throwing a tantrum, until he noticed Luna holding his grappling. "You can keep that if you want, Lunes."
"The fact that you're allowing Lunes to keep your stuff but yelling at me is crazy," Tina admitted. "Stand up, dude."
"I won't, actually. She gets special privileges." Noah then ran up to Tina and started to punch her. "Give me my stuff."
Noah eventually did get his stuff back from Tina, who had taken most of his things. Luna also did give him his grappling back. They then moved on, exploring different places around the island in a tour by the President, which the whole thing was just so fucking cool. Seeing the things people could create in a game about blocks was crazy. Luna couldn't wait to start building her own base — she wasn't the best at building, but she could do something.
They then ended up at a whole club, and Luna wasn't exactly sure how she got here, but she watched Noah's Minecraft character dance on a pole. She tilted her head at the screen with a confused expression before looking to chat, who was spamming laughing emotes and HUH?
Luna muted her mic. "For all the times I've watched Noah play QSMP, somehow I've never seen this. It's a learning curve for all of us, chat."
She unmuted herself and turned around, only to see none other than Leonarda in the doorway, crouch-walking into the room. Luna instantly smiled and crouch-walked up to Leo. Her and Leo had only talked a couple of times, but all of their interactions had been positive with shared adoration.
"Hi, baby girl," Luna greeted, her smile widening at how Leo kept crouching up and down. "I know we're supposed to pretend that we haven't met before, but I can't do that because I already love you."
Leo placed down her sign. I love you too, tia Luna.
(Luna would like to mention that she insisted on tia because she didn't want to replace Vegetta in Minecraft, although Noah seemed to keep their usual dynamic.)
She soon left, and Luna stayed in the club with the others for a little while, just getting to know everyone. Luna also had the pleasure meeting Dapper, which was BadBoyHalo's egg, and Richarlyson, the Brazilians' egg. They explored other places of the island before she was standing in some random field with Noah, Jaiden, Mouse, Tina, and Fit — naturally. Luna then turned, only to see Leo come back up to her.
"Hi sweetheart," Luna stated. Leo then dropped her something, and she gasped, opening up her inventory. "Oh my goodness, a backpack?" She put it on and zoomed out, only to see it was a dark blue color with a white bow on it. "Leo, thank you, I love it. I'll use it forever and ever."
They moved on, Luna kind of trailing behind so Leo could keep up with her. She then opened her backpack, only to see a lot of presents inside, including a crown. Luna's mouth fell open in shock and she put on her crown, which was silver.
"Leo, you are my favorite, my girl." She put her backpack back on and jumped up and down with Leo. "When I build a house, you're getting a room."
She laughed as Leo did a backflip. Luna then met up with the others again, including some people she hadn't seen in a while and some other eggs. She paused on the grass by a bridge.
"Luna, there's someone that wants to meet you," Phil revealed. He moved slightly out of the way to show Tallulah. "This is Tallulah. She's my daughter, and she loves music."
"Oh, Tallulah, I've heard so much about you," Luna admitted. "I like music, too."
Tallulah placed down her sign. hi :D big fan!
"Big fan? Oh, thank you." She laughed a little when Tallulah started to jump up and down. "We can make so much music together."
Luna just stared at her screen, her heart feeling warm. Her first big Minecraft server filled with new friends of other cultures and egg children — although it wouldn't be long until she would be off on tour again, she knew she was going to make it the time of her life.
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REAL LIFE
FOR DATING A star Minecraft builder and having design expertise, Luna's house was not coming out the way she thought it would.
She had had a vision — a large house made out of rose quartz and amethyst floors, maybe some wood and a ton of flowers. Luna had been on the QSMP for a couple of days and had just kind of been hanging around, so she needed to build her house. She had placed signs around where she was building saying to not talk to her because she had to focus, but she was kind of going crazy here by herself because nothing was going right.
Luna stared up at her house, tilting her head. "It still looks wrong. I don't know what's happening." She brought out her pickaxe and started to break the quartz. "Maybe I should just pay No to build my house for me."
And . . . speak of the devil.
"Lunes?" Noah called. "Oh. See the sign, Leo? She's busy, we'll come back later."
Her eyes widened and she turned to see Noah and Leo standing there. "No, please stay. I'm losing my mind. And the no talking never applies to you." She then giggled a bit at how Leo did a backflip at that. "Hey, sweet girl."
Noah looked up at her structure. "What'cha building?"
She squinted. "I can hear the judgment in your tone, Mr. Builder."
"What? No. There's no judgment. I'm just curious."
Leo placed down a sign. He's definitely judging, rude.
"Yeah, Leo, I know," Luna agreed with a sigh. "Might as well just come out and say he doesn't love me now because I can't build." Noah punched her character in game. "Ow."
He moved closer to her. "That's not true, and you know it."
"I just — I don't know where I'm going wrong." Luna made her character fall into pieces. "Nothing makes sense anymore. All I'm seeing is rose quartz and amethyst and they're blurring together. I also want to use some glowstone, but I just don't know where to get that. Jesus fucking Christ, I'm losing my mind."
"I'll help you."
Luna got back up and looked at him, smiling in real life. "Wait, really?"
"Yeah," Noah answered. "We'll build together."
She gasped happily. "Okay, okay." Luna ran in circles around him. "Oh, wow, our first time building together."
Leo put a sign down. Can I help?
Luna scoffed. "Leo, as if I'm going to say no to that. We can all build together."
Noah started to do Orange Justice. "Yippee!"
Thus begun the family building session (even if Luna wasn't canonically dating Noah on the server), making an extremely beautiful house . . . mostly thanks to Noah.
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a glimpse into the future!
REAL LIFE
EVERYTHING HAD GONE so horribly wrong.
All Luna had to say was that Discord call with Noah, Jaiden, Cellbit, Charlie, Baghera, and Phil was probably the funniest thing that she had ever been a part of.
At the beginning, when they arrived in Purgatory, there was slight hope — hope that they would win and get their eggs back. However, in a mass whirlwind of Team Soulfire and Team Green Gay Ninjas attacking Team BOLAS?!?!, they had given up entirely and were rapidly losing their minds.
Or maybe it had something to do with BadBoyHalo constantly showing up at their base and killing Charlie in the hot tub. Luna liked to pinpoint that moment as the start of it all.
It had only been five hours, and it was destroying them. Luna had absolutely no idea how she was going to possibly survive two weeks.
Luna, after being killed by BadBoyHalo for what felt like the millionth time today, was just done. He had shown up again and killed her and Jaiden for absolutely no reason, taking nothing but Jaiden's hat to protect her from the sun. Not to mention her original body with all of her stuff was all the way at Global and was definitely looted already. She sat in spawn with absolutely nothing in her inventory, because there was no point in trying anymore. Her hands were literally off the keyboard and she stared at the screen in despair.
In the wise words of Noah, it wasn't getting personal on Twitter — it was getting personal between them.
"There's no point anymore," Luna said. "I don't think we can roleplay our way out of this one."
"Lunes, don't say that," Noah replied.
"Listen, okay — I know I'm usually supposed to be the optimistic one, but I've got nothing." Luna made her character sit down in spawn. "It's so joever, it's so joever."
"If Luna's giving up, I think we've lost all hope."
"No, Noah, you keep going to find green base," Luna instructed. "I'll just stay here and do nothing, it's fine."
Phil, their fearless leader, then told them the hierarchy of who was in charge when he wasn't there. If Luna was being honest, she may or may not have stopped listening for a while, because there was no way she was leader at any point. The only thing that brought her back to reality was Phil getting killed by Etoiles, and then the string of chats from Charlie saying that he was unfriending all of them.
"Guys, I hate everyone that isn't you guys," Charlie admitted. "I don't think I can go to Brazil and I can look Fit MC in the eyes. I don't think I can look him in the fucking eyes."
"I'm never talking to Tubbo again," Luna agreed. "Our relations are no more."
"I want the eggs," Baghera insisted.
"Nah, those eggs are dead," Phil protested.
"Dude, it's not about the eggs," Charlie said, his voice just completely shot at this point. "Listen, I don't think it was about the eggs when BadBoyHalo killed me for the fourth time in my own fucking home! In the pool! Was that about the eggs? That was about no eggs! What was the point, man? What was the point of turning my fucking hot tub red with my own blood? Was it about the eggs? We can't even place blocks around half of our fucking land because my own bodies riddle the yard!"
Luna doubled over in laughter, her mind already starting to spin. "Slime, oh my God."
Jaiden ran up to her while Phil, Cellbit, and Charlie discussed how they couldn't leave. "What'cha doing?"
"I'm sitting here in despair. Don't give me food, don't give me water, don't give me anything. I don't want it."
"Lunes, you'll die."
Luna made her character look up at her. "That's the point, Jai."
"This is so fucking unbalanced," Cellbit commented, talking about the teams. "They put Roier and Etoiles and then they put Pierre and Tubbo in the same fucking team, and then it's me. I don't even know how to make a fucking bookshelf."
"I don't even know how to make a backpack!" Slime yelled. "You guys say so much shit, I don't even know. You're like, turn your fucking magnet off. Dog, what are you saying? I'm in the fucking Paleolithic era! What are you saying? I have a stone axe I've had for the past five months! I don't know how to make a backpack! Everything I have has been given to me. Slime armor? I don't even know if that's made with real slime! I don't know what makes that. I don't know any of this shit! I haven't enchanted a single thing. To be honest with you, I think I've only ever gotten up to level three, because that is how many XP points it takes for me to warp to spawn. And when I get killed in spawn, I need to beg admins to warp me back. I need to open a ticket. Do you know what it's like to spend your life opening tickets?"
Baghera then asked what the mode was, as if it wasn't clear it wasn't survival. Luna just watched her hunger and thirst go down as they talked about shout casting the entire event instead of playing. If it wasn't clear enough, Red was probably the cursed team.
Luna then looked down, seeing Cellbit was slain by a Skelewag, and she laughed loudly. "Cellbit what the fuck?"
"What the fuck is a Skelewag, dude?" Charlie questioned. "I don't even know what that is! I know what a Skeleton is, I know what a Zombie is, I know what a Creeper is, because those are the things that God intended to put in the game!"
"What is a Skelewag, though?" Baghera inquired.
"It's a fucking fish," Cellbit answered.
Luna looked over at chat, watching as they all laughed. Honestly, Luna was just glad all of them were collectively losing their minds together. And if she had to guess, the other teams were not going through what they were.
"Cellbit, do you want to just beat the shit out of each other?" Charlie suggested. "I have three sticks, I'll give you a stick."
As if on cue, Luna looked at the bottom of her screen and saw Cellbit was slain by Graveriser.
"Oh, you gotta watch out for those Graverisers, Cellbit," Noah told him.
Charlie then gave Cellbit a stick when he appeared back in spawn. Luna watched as they counted down and just started beating each other with sticks. Charlie started to scream how he wanted to go home, even though he never built one. He eventually died to Cellbit, but then Cellbit died from an Enderman.
Luna giggled. "I just watched that whole thing unfold. Holy shit, that was so fucking funny."
But things took a turn when Phil lost his mind because the admins started spawning Swordfish around the ship he was trying to go to. Luna put her head in her hands, laughing to herself as all of them screamed. If only the other teams could see them now.
"Can you do slash Slimecicle happy?" Charlie pleaded. "Can you hack into my fucking computer and make me well again?"
As they talked about being the cursed team, Charlie typed in chat ANNOUNCEMENT: we are the cursed team. To which Bad replied with, lies.
"I hate BadBoyHalo," Luna stated. "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. He's single-handedly making me enter my reputation era. I'm going to tell him that actually." She then typed in the chat bad I'm entering my reputation era because of you, then I'll be the actress staring in your bad dreams, bitch, then I've got a list of names and yours is in red UNDERLINED, and then watch out. "He probably doesn't know what that means, but I live for the element of confusion."
"I want them to come back and kill us again just so I have more reasons to be unhappy," Noah revealed. "Like, I want to be upset. I don't want to be happy."
Cellbit then typed can't wait for german to log in ur fucked. Half of their team had logged on maybe twice collectively in the past couple of months, which was just actually ridiculous.
"We're fucking doomed!" Noah exclaimed.
"I was like, huge RP moments, like when we were distraught because our eggs died, but no," Baghera said in response to Noah admitting he didn't think Purgatory was going to be like this. "Maybe just kill my egg, I don't care."
Luna laughed hard, doubling over again. Purgatory had truly brought out the worst in them.
"Holy shit, that's where we're at, kill Pomme," Jaiden voiced.
Bad typed in chat asking who was the cursed team, and Noah said that they hated him and Charlie started asking if he thought of the eggs when he killed them over and over again.
"I can't see," Luna let out. "I'm crying. My hands don't feel real anymore." She glanced around. "Guys, just come back to base and sit in a circle. It's done."
All of them agreed, and Jaiden said they didn't even deserve a fire. Charlie then asked if they could all pray for a second, even going as far to type it in chat. Luna had calmed down a little bit, but little did she know she was about to lose her fucking shit. Because the announcement that a new disaster was arriving suddenly appeared on the screen, and all of them just collectively were gone.
"No, please," Luna cried.
"HOLY SHIT, KILL YOURSELF!" Jaiden screamed.
Luna laughed probably the loudest she had in her entire life. She collapsed back into the chair, her eyes shut and her hand on her hurting stomach.
"Let me go!" Charlie yelled. "LET ME GO!"
"Jaiden," Luna said. "Jaiden, no."
"Give us gas!" Cellbit exclaimed.
"Just fucking gas us, damn it," Noah agreed.
They then started to try and convince Phil and Noah to kill themselves and just join them by their little campfire, which Cellbit had made for them. Cellbit then stood in the campfire and died, and Luna decided it was time. She walked forwards — or backwards because of the stupid reverse controls — and just let herself burn. Charlie then said this was the most fun he had to tonight as they kept killing themselves in the fire. Noah's arm was going tingly, Charlie's brain was blackening, Jaiden wanted someone to unravel her brain like a spaghetti . . . it was all going to hell.
"I want everyone to know this is a vital part of Bolas lore," Luna stated, staring at the body pile on the campfire. "All of us going crazy."
They then pleaded for them to spawn more Swordfish, an Ender Dragon, or for Charlie, the gas because his nose was open. Cellbit then walked up to them and threw them all raw meat.
"What is this gonna do, man?" Charlie asked. "Is this gonna make BadBoyHalo stop showing up?"
Charlie suggested that they should all meet up and tag BadBoyHalo in all of their pictures on Twitter — or try to survive on an island on a two weeks before playing Purgatory ever again. Phil also announced that he found two potatoes.
"I've got one potato," Jaiden told them. "Should we actually do something, or should I fucking eat it now?"
"Jaiden, do it," Luna replied. "There's no point. Just let go."
"I have the choice to eat this potato and not plant it at all! I can eat it! I'm gonna fucking eat it!" The potato then disappeared from her hand, and Luna laughed again. "I'm eating the fucking potato! It's gone! It's gone! It's not here anymore! And I'm throwing away the porkchops in the fire."
"You go for it, girl," Baghera responded.
At once, all of them started to do the Casualonas dance at the same time, the very same one Luna had experienced from Noah the first day she joined the server. Luna just sat back and watched them all dance as they discussed how this team was the best and that they should just all build a town instead of doing any quests, only asking for emeralds from everyone in exchange for the quests and combat logging if anyone tried to fight them.
"Yeah, fuck it, I'm becoming an NPC," Luna agreed. "But honestly, I think NPC is Charlie's normal state, so we're already halfway there."
Charlie made his character look at her. "I can't even argue with that because it's true. And I also can't tell if I'm having a great time or a panic attack."
Luna giggled. "A mixture of both, for sure. We're just manic."
Noah announced that he had made it back, flying towards them with his glider and doing a backflip. The first thing that he did was kill himself in the fire, which was just Bolas initiation at this point.
"May be a bad time to ask, but how many bings we got?" Noah questioned, referring to the money they got from turning in missions.
Luna turned towards him. "Baby, it doesn't matter."
"Say something, I'm giving up on you," Charlie sang, completely interrupting everything.
All of them joined in as well, but it was a mix of voices due to the delay from Discord. Naturally, Noah started to build a house — a true builder at heart. But Luna believed that he just didn't know what to do with himself and just wanted to go back to his roots.
Jaiden walked up to her. "Luna, we're gonna need you to sing us some songs during these two weeks."
"Okay, sure," Luna agreed. She then laughed as Five Nights at Freddy's music started playing. "Jaiden, I know that's you."
She moved closer so that all Luna could see was her head. "You can't prove anything."
"Yeah, says the one who wears FNAF shirts." Luna then moved some of her hair out of the way. "I can't believe there's thirteen fucking minutes left. Please, I want to leave."
Finally, Blue and Green started to kill each other. Phil said he was putting the potatoes in the fridge, to which Charlie said he was doing a seventy hour stream to just stare at it until it expired. Noah asked if they were done, which the answer was just a complete yes, and Charlie was not going to log on tomorrow happy to see Bad or Tubbo. Luna then moved herself into the little house Noah was building and sat down, gasping as Phil put down a globe and started to spin it over and over again. They also started to discuss all of the members on their team that weren't here and hadn't been on the QSMP in ages.
"Slime, Slime, please," Noah stated. "I wanna build this house and you're standing in the only spot I can't build. Please, Slime, I need this."
Luna walked over to them and punched Charlie out of the way. "Don't worry, I moved him."
Noah brought out his diamond sword and killed him. "Just fucking kill his ass, I've had enough of him. Fuck him."
"Okay, or do that. That's cool too." Luna listened to how they were figuring out who else was on their team. "Guys, it doesn't even matter, because they weren't here for this. They aren't Bolas, because they didn't suffer like we have." She made herself sit back down. "Oh, Jesus, my head hurts."
Charlie left to join the other Discord calls to see how the other teams were doing, with Jaiden asking him to send death threats. Cellbit also sent a picture of Red Team, and Luna's mouth fell open in shock. She showed it to stream, showing that a whole row was missing. It was honestly a miracle that Carre had joined today — it seemed like everything started to fall apart when he left.
The fact that they were still second above Green after all of this was just crazy as well. Noah then started to scream about who covered the windows with dirt, and Luna started removing them in fear that he would send himself into another spiral.
"We need the light," Noah insisted. "When the sun gets really hot, I want the sun to be able to burn me. I wanna feel something."
Luna laughed for a moment. "I know what tomorrow is going to be. Bolas goes to therapy. There we have it."
Cellbit suggested they make a secret organization, and Baghera added that they should just kill Quackity — or ElQuackity, who was just suspicious. Noah continued on with his build of the house, and Baghera started to lose it after hearing she had been chopping down trees for nothing because Phil had already turned in the task.
Noah punched Cellbit off of the top of the house. "Cellbit, I'm trying to build!"
Luna watched Cellbit fall. "Oh." She looked up at the roof — it felt a lot like that one time when Noah went absolutely batshit crazy building that chandelier, but ten times worse. "Noah, when we get kicked from this, I'm coming to your room."
"Please do. I need some sanity. You'll give me that."
Phil led Baghera away to let some steam off because she was so worked up over the saplings. He killed her, to which she immediately protested, and Phil allowed her to kill him. Luna shook her head as she watched Charlie and Jaiden just punch each other over and over in the house. Jaiden got killed by Charlie, and she came back and killed Charlie, only to then get killed by Cellbit, who then got killed by Charlie. She put her hand over her mouth as she laughed as the whole thing unfolded, and laughed harder as Noah killed Charlie and Jaiden with his diamond sword when he had nothing to do with it all.
"Why is my time frozen?" Luna complained as she walked up to the roof of the house and made her character sit. "Just let me leave, God, please."
"What's your fucking game?" Charlie yelled, because his timer was stuck at thirty-eight minutes. "What's your fucking game? I know you're watching the stream. I know you're watching it. What do you want from us?"
"Maybe I shouldn't have killed all those Cucurucho workers, man, I'm so sorry," Cellbit admitted.
Luna's mouth fell open in shock — for the past few days on the island, murdered Federation workers had been found. "Cellbit?"
"WHAT?!" Jaiden screamed.
"That was you?" Phil inquired.
Noah — the detective on the case — ran back to the house. "Cellbit, why did you fess up? I was trying my best to make sure you didn't get caught."
"Maybe confessing our sins is the way to get out of here," Cellbit suggested.
"You're right," Charlie agreed. "Guys, I shouldn't have been spending so much time with that egg, it's definitely not my daughter."
Luna giggled, thinking about JuanaFlippa, who was actually just a code. "I'm glad you came to your senses."
Jaiden and Noah confessed their own sins. Baghera also got kicked from the server, meaning she was free. Luna wished she could join her. All she wanted was to just leave. She also couldn't stop laughing at how Charlie's voice was gone, and how her body didn't feel real. It was definitely a fucking rollercoaster. And if they had roleplay points, Red definitely won.
"You know, if DanTDM was here, this never would've happened," Charlie said.
"DanTDM caused a whole mess," Noah agreed.
"I'm sorry, but can we talk about how him and Spreen fucking canonically died?" Luna inquired with a laugh, the others joining in with her. "It said they were permanently deceased. Like, I feel like we moved on from that way too quick."
Charlie then asked if they wanted to become more crazy as time went on. And, to be honest, Luna wanted to change her skin, because her Minecraft skin didn't reflect her short hair. She wanted them to go absolutely nuts and look crazy.
"The other teams just go, look out for Red Team," Jaiden voiced. "If you see them, run. They don't have shit, but you just gotta go."
"For sure," Luna replied. "It'll be like that one song that says teenagers scare the living shit out of me, except it's Bolas instead of teenagers."
She saw that Bad died from drowning, and she typed L. They made suggestions for how they could get crazier and crazier, although Cellbit seemed a little too excited about how Charlie wanted them to go on a cannibalism arc.
"Green and Blue will never know the butterfly effect they caused by attacking us at the same time," Noah stated.
Luna nodded. "They broke us. They took our hope, all of it."
They then started to get kicked. Luna breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the connection lost screen. She stayed on the Discord call with her team, and with the members of the other team — witnessing Noah have a rage moment against Bad — before she left after a while. Luna ended her stream, thanking everyone for sticking around through whatever psychological breakdown they had just gone through.
She walked out of Sykkuno's stream room in the roomie's house, since he had been letting her use it while he was in Vegas and she was in LA. Luna walked up to the room her and Noah had been staying in. She opened the door and just stood in the doorway for a moment, staring blankly ahead. Noah managed to catch her eye, and in the span of two seconds, the two fell into a fit of giggles.
"I don't know what just happened," Luna admitted. She moved, standing behind Noah's chair. "That felt like the five stages of grief in the span of forty-five minutes."
Noah rolled back his chair a bit. "Here, come sit."
Luna sat down on his left leg, swinging her legs over to rest on his right. "So, chat . . . same time tomorrow?" She giggled a bit at their reaction. "Boy oh boy, I can't wait."
Noah looked up at her. "I swear to God, if Bad shows up at our base again, I'm going to lose my fucking mind."
"No, I agree."
Little did Luna know that BOLAS?!?!, despite all of their struggles, would end up taking home the victory, being the fucking underdogs.
＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
another glimpse into the future!
REAL LIFE
THE LITERAL LAST thing Luna expected to see when she logged onto the QSMP was a new egg.
After streaming practically nonstop for Purgatory, she had taken a much needed break from the server. But today was the first day she was coming back, and honestly, she missed it a lot. She smiled excitedly as the joined the world, ending up in spawn.
And . . . the first message she saw in the chat was Tubbo saying Luna, ready to meet our daughter?
"Uh," Luna let out, glancing towards chat, who was spamming HUH? "We, um . . . I have a daughter with Tubbo?"
The warp sound then echoed through her headphones, and she turned. Tubbo appeared, now wearing a crown, followed by an egg who was definitely not there before with the name SunnySideUp. The egg had on a pair of black sunglasses — probably its defining trait — and was wearing red butterfly wings, a pink crown like Leo had given her her first day, and was carrying two diamonds.
"Oh, hey," Luna greeted, sounding very confused. "What's, uh . . . what's going on?"
"Hi, Lunes," Tubbo said. "This is Sunny. She's our daughter."
"Okay, can we take, like, ten steps back? What do you mean our daughter?"
Sunny dropped her an image. Luna picked it up, only to see it was an adoption certificate. Sure enough, her name was on there as a parent, along with Tubbo (duh), Lenay, Pol, and Slime. Luna's mouth fell open in shock as she stared at it.
"Um . . ." Luna trailed off, throwing the image back to Sunny. "Okay. You know, I always wanted an egg, but I didn't expect it to be so soon." She then muted in game and looked at her chat. "Why am I taking care of a child, with a child? And why am I a co-parent with Charlie? You mean Tubbo, the guy whose team had such fan behavior towards Bolas in Purgatory, and you mean Charlie, the guy turning into a code with his code daughter JuanaFlippa-but-not-really? This is already going to be a rollercoaster, I can feel it."
"So, Sunny told me she came from an island that looks like this one, which is definitely Purgatory, and she was saved by Cucurucho," Tubbo explained. "There are two other eggs as well. Empanada and Pepito."
Luna blinked and unmuted herself. "Man, I just woke up after a long sleep, and this is a lot of information." She rubbed her eyes for a moment. "Shit, okay, I have a daughter. You know what, I've babysat the other eggs before. I can be a mom. Surely." She crouched towards the egg. "I'm gonna call you sunshine, if that's okay?" Sunny started to jump around, making Luna laugh a little. "I'll take that as a yes. Sunny, what things to you enjoy?"
Tubbo chuckled. "I know what she's going to say."
Sunny placed down a sign. money
Luna laughed more. "Okay, you know what, fair enough. Let me tell you — I'm not exactly rich, but I do have this friend who gives me things a lot. And I can tell you're a lot like his daughter."
"Oh, yeah," Tubbo replied. "Have you heard anything from Foolish? He hasn't woken up yet, has he?"
Luna felt her face turn red, clearing her throat awkwardly at the thought of what happened when they were running to escape Purgatory. "Uh, well . . . I haven't heard anything, and the last thing I told him was that I loved him and I would die for him in a meteor shower any day, so . . ."
Tubbo moved closer to her. "You told a man with a boyfriend that you loved him?"
"Listen, dude, I thought we were dying, and I wanted that to be the last thing I said to him. And now I am sure things will be extremely awkward."
Sunny placed a sign down. so real of you, mama
"See?" Luna protested. "She gets me. Hey, sunshine, how about we go build you a room in my house, yeah?" She stopped jumping and nodded. "Come on, let's go."
The psychological warfare of Purgatory then a new daughter. Luna was truly living life.
-ˏˋ ♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩̥̩ ˊˎ-
bolas winning purgatory was the comeback of the century after their psychological breakdown (which I will never forget watching live, btw.) and sunny's an icon 😎😎😎
ps I know I said to not expect anything from me this week because of what happened, but I had this prewritten and it's a funny one, so I decided to publish it :)