Mike got into the driver's side of his car, Will on the passenger's. He couldn't believe everything had worked out so perfectly. Will was in a great mood because his brother was alive, and Mike was loving that his brother was alive because Jonathan had offered to deal with Brad, leaving Mike and Will alone. He'd always thought Jonathan hated him, but he seemed like he was helping him out as of now. He almost thought he saw a sly grin of sorts when Jonathan offered to go with Brad. Whatever the reason, Mike wasn't going to argue.
"So," he said, starting up the engine. "Just like old times, huh? You and me? Saving the world?"
Will rolled his eyes. "I feel like you've used that line before."
"I'll stop saying it when it stops happening." Somehow, Mike and Will always found their way back to each other, no matter how separated they had made themselves. It was like they were soul mates or something. Perhaps they were. Mike liked the idea of it. He liked the sound. Soul mates.
"Fair enough." Will shuffled around his seat in the car, a bit awkwardly. "So... what are you planning to cover up the gate with, huh? It would need to be pretty big."
"Actually haven't got that far in my plan yet," Mike admitted. "Maybe we could brainstorm over lunch? I'm getting hungry again."
"Lunch..." Will repeated. "I mean, yeah. That sounds awesome. Where were you thinking?" Sounded like somewhat forced excitement. Mike could read it well.
"Those feelings in your neck. Are they bad? I mean, you seem uncomfortable."
Will sighed. "How could you tell?"
"Two years later, you still have the same mannerisms you did when you were eighteen, Will. Actually, you still have the same mannerisms you did when you were thirteen. And I'm an expert on that." Mike paused. "We were best friends."
Will looked sad. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Make me feel bad about it! It's not fair, Mike. We haven't even talked in all that time. Best friends don't do that." Will crossed his arms, obviously upset. But not angry. Mike had the feeling he didn't want to not be best friends.
"Then why didn't you call me?"
"Why didn't you call me?"
Mike looked around. So far, their little adventure was not going as he had planned. "I- I guess I was scared. At first. I never understood why, but I do now." It felt good to say it out loud.
That caught Will's attention and he looked back at Mike, raising an eyebrow. "You were scared? Of what?" Mike had now put himself in a bad situation. He couldn't just tell him. Could he?
"I feel like we're getting off-topic. How bad is the neck thing?"
"Mike," Will said sternly. "Please tell me. I just want to understand." So changing the subject wouldn't work. Mike sighed. He couldn't believe he'd got himself into this.
"You tell me first. What were you scared of? You didn't call either." There, now they both had something at stake. Mike had leveled the playing field, hopefully.
Will seemed surprised at the request but then exhaled before speaking. "I was scared... Well, I just thought you didn't want to talk. I mean, you seemed to not want to talk to me as much after you broke up with Jane and then you were going off to Harvard... and with how much I heard you were liking it, I just thought maybe you didn't want me to call you." It almost made Mike laugh, the fact that Will thought he liked Harvard so much. Or that anyone thought he liked Harvard so much.
He frowned then, taking in what Will had said. "You didn't think I'd want you to call? Really?" It broke his heart, thinking that he'd done something to make Will believe that. But then again, maybe he hadn't wanted Will to call. That broke his heart just as much.
"Yeah, I mean, you were distant. I thought maybe it was intentional and I figured it would be annoying if I-"
"You're not annoying."
Will half-smiled, as if he wasn't really into it. He looked tired, Mike noticed. Dark circles under his eyes. "Thanks." He leaned in. "Okay, I told you my reasons. Now you gotta tell me yours." Mike almost thought he had forgotten. He had no idea what to say.
"I- Well, is it really important? At least we're talking now!"
"Mike, we had a deal. Tell me." Will crossed his arms, staring at Mike as he silently tried to think of what his answer would be. He felt like it would be in bad taste to simply say ' oh, I've actually been in love with you for years and was trying to distance myself from you because I didn't want to hate myself. No hard feelings.' Especially right now.
"I was scared of how I felt about you... and you can take that whatever way you want to." Mike looked forward at the road, tensing as he waited for a reaction from Will. He decided that would be the most indefinite way to say it without lying.
"Wow, thanks. That answers so much." Will crossed his arms, frustrated with the vague statement.
"Well, what do you make of it?" Mike glanced quickly over at his friend. His eyebrows dipped and he was squeezing his face pensively like an angry toddler.
Will threw his hands up. "Either you love me or you hate me and I don't know if I can handle either of those options right now." Mike frowned. He didn't want Mike to love him? No, he couldn't handle it. What was that supposed to mean?
"I don't know. I can think of a couple more possibilities than that. What if I just realized I thought you were super boring? Or maybe–"
Will shushed him. "You're just making it more complicated!"
"Well, you've probably got a couple of weeks to think about it, huh? I mean, depending on how long it takes us to solve the Upside Down thing."
"Yeah, I don't want to have to think about it for weeks." Will looked out the window. "I'm just gonna forget we ever had the conversation. How about that?"
"Mmm... Seems like you're just avoiding the problem."
"It's not even a problem, Mike! I don't care what you thought of me!" Will snapped. "Whatever the reason, we stopped talking to each other. We both have new lives now and coming back from that is not as easy as you're making it seem."
Mike sighed. "Wow, okay. Fine." He drove in silence for a bit, speeding up slightly. He heard anger can make you lose some of your speed perception on the road. Eventually, he realized Will had his head turned the other way because he was quietly crying. Mike couldn't shake the familiarity of the situation, although he didn't remember anything similar ever happening. Whatever Will was feeling about himself and Mike, it was definitely deeper than the surface.
Mike sighed. He supposed he should say something. "So... does New Will want to grab lunch still? Or does he get hungry?"
Mike tried to ignore the visible tear which Will had failed to wipe away as he turned. "Yeah, I do. Let's just go get something at that diner or whatever."
They drove to the diner with minimal conversation. Mike somewhat scolded himself for bringing up the 'best friends' controversy in the first place, because now it was really awkward. Maybe the entire outing would be going well if he'd just kept his mouth shut about it, but it was bothering him. The thought that Will and he had really grown apart like that. He didn't want that.
At the table, Mike tried small talk again, trying Will's strategy of ignoring the problem. "So, you and Brad have been together since last year, right?"
Will nodded. "Yeah..." He seemed cautious at the mention of the boy's name, not wanting another conflict.
"You never told anyone about him over the summer?"
Will shrugged, picking at his sandwich. "Yeah. I wasn't exactly ready to make it public. I'm sure you'd understand. I was kinda scared of what you guys would think about it. I mean, everyone's been super supportive so far, so maybe I had nothing to worry about, but I don't know. I just wanted to approach it correctly. None of you even knew I was gay." He flavored the word as if he wasn't exactly afraid of the concept, but the act of saying it.
"I get it." Mike took a bite of his own sandwich. "I haven't even come out to my parents yet. It's just weird. Like, I don't get why it's such a bad thing."
"Oh boy, if only the entire population had the same opinions as Michael Wheeler," Will teased. It made Mike smile since it was the first thing he'd said with a tinge of joy in his voice since their car ride.
Mike changed the subject, somewhat ruining the new tone of the conversation. "So, how long do think you and Brad are gonna be together? Like, are you getting- married- serious?" He just needed to understand what was going on with Will and his boyfriend. He still wasn't able to grasp why exactly Will was even with the guy.
Will tensed subtly at the mention of getting married. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. "Umm... I guess I hadn't ever thought of that." Will looked down, various thoughts flashing a wave of expressions across his face. "Yeah, I mean, maybe... I feel like it's too early to tell, right?"
"I mean, it's been, like, half a year. I thought maybe you'd have some sort of idea."
"It's too early to tell," Will said quickly. He looked around, trying desperately to change the topic of the conversation. "You have any memorable college lovers?"
Mike laughed, shaking his head. "Nope. Nobody there has really been someone I feel like I'm gonna want to spend forever with. I mean, obviously, I didn't meet many girls because... well, you know. And I'm new to the whole guy thing... so, no one substantial." Mike was glad he was so good at making up a story off the top of his head. He couldn't believe writing all those stories as a kid had been preparing him for this. Lying to Will about every single aspect of his college life.
"Really? I would've thought you'd be going on dates left and right at college!" Will said, his eyes wide.
Mike raised an eyebrow. "I can't tell if that's supposed to be a compliment or offensive."
Will smirked. "You can take that whatever way you want to," he said, mocking what Mike had said in the car. Mike figured he was still frustrated with that.
It made Mike think of a question that had been swimming around in the back of his mind. He finally plucked it up and spat it out: "The two things you thought I could've meant– which one would you rather be true?"
Will frowned again. He spoke quietly after a moment. "I wouldn't want you to hate me, so the answer almost seems obvious, huh?" He paused. "But it's not. The other answer is just as bad."
"Why?" Mike didn't understand why being in love with Will could be a bad thing.
"It's... complicated, I guess. Just let it go, Mike. It's not important."
"Well, what if that's the one I actually meant?"
Will's fingers gripped the table, turning white as the air between the boys began to feel slightly suffocating.
"It's not," he said breathily.