3 Months Later
"Ah, Elsie. Sorry for the wait, you can come in now."
Elsie looked up from her phone, turned it off and followed Max into her principals office, closing the door behind her.
"I see your parents aren't here today", the overly enthusiastic man said as he sat down. "Nice to see you again, Max."
"It's a pleasure, Mr Maguire.", Max replied flatly.
"Anyways, the reason I called you in is because, well, myself and your teachers have noticed that in the last few weeks, your performance has been slipping. You've always been a capable student, but the last few weeks, it's like you haven't been trying. You've only handed in two homework assignments, both science ones, but asides from that, you've been more irritable with your classmates and teachers. We're just worried, is all."
Elsie rolled her eyes, wanting to slap the smile from his face.
"Sir, we're all having a hard time at home at the moment. As you may know, our mam is sick. Early stages but she's getting quite worse every day. Elsie is only 14, she's really upset about this. I'm not surprised that school isn't her main priority right now.", Max interjected.
Mr Maguire adjusted in his seat and took a sip of tea. "I'm aware, and I'm sorry about your situation. But this is a crucial year of education for Elsie. She has her Junior Cert exams next year. Missing school and assignments may mean missing essential information for the exams."
Max scoffed. "Sir, I'm long gone from secondary school. I did journalism in UCC and I have a great job. I happened to get a pretty disappointing Junior Cert, but that didn't really matter in the long run. Why scare the child about the exams when she can do just fine without it, and when there's more important stuff happening in her life than an irrelevant exam."
"Well, Max, as you say, the results don't matter. It's more to get students prepared for a state exam setting, which is rather important for the Leaving Cert, which does matter."
"Sorry, sir?", Elsie interrupted. "I'm not sure if you know fully, but my mother is dying. She probably won't be around when I sit the Leaving Cert, if I do sit it. I'm sorry if I can only focus on that and not Romeo and Juliet or whether 2x + 15a = 69xxx." Max snorted. "Look, you know I'm a good student otherwise. I can do some assignments here and there, but my head isn't there at the minute. I'm fully aware that I have exam years coming up, I'm as stressed about that as any kid my age. Now add knowing my mother is dying. I'm 14, not a machine."
Max looked at his sister proudly as she sat back in her chair and the principal lost the smile from his face. A few moments later, he cleared his throat. "How about this, Elsie? You try and come in as many days of the week as you can, whether that's all five or just a few hours. You can keep up with the material online and catch up on the assignments. There's only a few weeks left until the summer tests and holidays so just try and get through that, and we can plan more of this out by the time third year comes along. How's that sound?"
Elsie sighed and rolled her eyes slightly. "Sure, I'll do as much as I can. But I can't promise I'll be a star pupil or anything."
"You don't have to be. You just have to be a pupil. I know it may be a bit early to start thinking about it, but do you have any idea of what you'd like to do after school?"
Elsie shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not really thinking about goals and dreams right now. The only dream I'm thinking about is that I hope that this is all a nightmare I'll wake up from soon."
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"You know, Zo, we really have everything under control here, you should go home and rest."
Zoë sighed, putting her hands flat on her lap under her desk "Ash, I'm not dead yet. My hands don't work anymore, but I still have my voice. I can still talk to patients, maybe not do paperwork."
"Okay, are you sure?"
"Ash, please. I'm sorry but I need these appointments as much as my patients. I haven't been here in two weeks."
Ash was now speechless, and didn't want to irritate Zoë further, so they just put their thumb up and left. Alone in her office, Zoë looked around her, seeing everything she had added to her office over the years. She looked at her desk and saw the pens she always fidgeted with, and on the floor was the bin that she'd kick rolled up pieces of paper in as if she was playing soccer. Despite all the expansions over the past nineteen years, her office was the same room since Starman started; the changes in decor only came as changes in her life came. She always did it herself, decorating being a therapeutic activity for her. To add to her growing list of things she'd never be able to do again, she now added several things from her office alone. She would've cried, but she had done all of it over the last week when everything started to hit and she decided she had to get out of her house and go back to work. Despite everyone telling her it was a bad idea, she wanted to do it, so here she was, waiting for Peter to come for his appointment while she did the exact same thing she had been doing at home, but without the tears.
After a few minutes, there was a knock at the door, and Zoë gave her signal to let the person in. Peter walked in, perking up her mood.
"Hey, little man, how are you doing?", she greeted, flashing a smile as if she wasn't just facing her own mortality.
Peter smiled back as he sat down. "Not too bad. It's nice to see you again, I missed you."
Zoë's heart swelled. "I missed you too, Pete. How has everything been anyway? Has Jacob been good to you?"
"He's amazing, I really like him. He's kind of like an older brother to me now. He was there when my mother passed, and since my dad is gone to some rehab place now, he's kind of my guardian for the next few months."
"Wow, a lot has happened for you. I'm really sorry I couldn't be at your mother's service, by the way, I had something personal going on. How did rehab come up for your dad?"
Peter took one of the plush toys in his arms. "He went voluntarily, anyway. He really gets along with Jacob, so they talked a lot. He managed to convince him to go, so he did a few days after Mam died. He's a good dad, just not with alcohol. I think he knows that he can't be a good dad when he's drunk, so it was his choice after the encouragement."
"That's amazing. Rehab can't work if the person is forced into it, so I'm delighted that your dad chose it himself. That shows that he really loves you, and he's committed to be the best father and man for you. But how are you after your mother has passed? How have you been dealing with it?"
Peter sighed. "I miss her so much. It was really hard, I'm not sure if I would be okay if I didn't have Jacob. He got me through some rough nights, and he's been helping me with school. But in a way, it was a relief when she died. It was at home, it was peaceful, and she had no pain anymore. The last two years were really bad, and it got worse with Dad's drinking. I don't know, it's weird that things have gotten better since she died. Not because she did, but because her pain was over, if that makes sense."
"Yeah, it does. A family member being sick is one of the worst things to go through for everyone."
"Yeah. When she couldn't walk anymore, I think I cried for a week street. Our walks together were the best."
Zoë gulped. "Couldn't walk?"
"Yeah, uh, it was something called motor something disease, I can never remember the second word. She basically became paralysed until she couldn't speak anymore. She wasn't in an accident or anything, her body just did it out of nowhere. It was awful."
Zoë couldn't control herself as she hyperventilated a bit, raising her arm and placing her stiff hand against her mouth, making Peter gasp.
"Zoë, are you sick too? Sorry, I didn't know."
"Yeah, uh, don't worry, Peter. This is your hour."
"You're going to die too, aren't you?"
A tear rolled down her cheek as she replied, "Yes, but I'm still alive now. I was just shocked about your mother, I'm sorry."
"I'm really sorry, Zoë. This sucks."
"It does, yeah. It's a rotten disease, but one thing it doesn't rot away at is love for the people around you. Your mother still loved you even when she was going through all this, and she passed knowing that she was loved and that she loved you and your father, even if she couldn't say it. That couldn't be changed, no matter how sick she was. I just hope you know that."
Peter smiled. "Yeah, and she's in heaven now too. I actually believe that, I just can't imagine her just being gone completely. She deserves something nice after everything she went through the last two years."
"That's the spirit. You're handling this really well, Pete."
"Jacob has been helping me a lot. He's the best type of person, because I can talk to him about this stuff and also play video games with him."
"Between you and me, he's getting a raise for this."
Peter chuckled. "Don't worry, I want him to be surprised about it."
"Well, I have to, those games aren't going to buy themselves."
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"You know, you're getting better at the cooking, Max, this is incredible."
"Ah, thanks, Ma. You're getting better at feeding Mam too, two of ye haven't burst out laughing yet."
Katie and Zoë laughed immediately, making Max roll his eyes. "It is a bit funny, son. The first day, she said 'Here comes the airplane', how couldn't I laugh?"
"It is a little funny, yeah.", Elsie remarked.
"El, if you ever find yourself in the situation that your spouse is ill and you take care of them, try and find the funny parts in it. Makes it better for everyone."
Elsie gulped. "Noted, Ma."
Max gave his mother a "Stop it" look over his lasagna, Katie returning a confused look.
After some awkwardness, the family dinner continued as normal, with the usual joking, talk about work and school and what bucket list activity they should do next. So far, they had gone to the opera, done a trip to the north with all their favourite stops, got through a whole movie without putting on the subtitles, adopted a dog from the animal welfare and played a soccer match. Zoë had drafted up her bucket list the day she got her diagnosis, and had shared it with her family a few days after she shared her diagnosis. Brook immediately got to work with helping by searching for tickets to the next show in the Cork Opera House, and Elsie started looking at nearby animal shelters. Throughout this discussion, Max and Elsie kept sharing glances as the others tried to decide between organizing a disco at their house or going camping for a week, the siblings knowing that they had the next activity planned perfectly.
After dinner was over, Brook had to leave, and Max and Elsie were left alone as their parents brought their sister to the door.
"I know you're going to get a lecture about school any minute, but I just need to ask you something else, El.", Max whispered after making sure no one could hear them
"Yeah, bro?"
"Are you going to come out to them? I know it's killing you. And they probably think you're gay."
"Let them think away. It'd be easier to say I'm a porn addict."
Max scoffed. "El. When I went to get a few things from Mam's office, she had at least 5 books on the ace spectrum, all from professionals. She knows what it is, definitely knows way more about it than me. She's probably researched every letter that's ever been included in the acronym."
"Exactly. I don't want to be psychoanalyzed by my dying mother."
The sound of the door closing ended their conversation, and their parents walked back into the kitchen.
"I think I'm going to go to bed. Long day.", Zoë sighed.
"Yeah, I think I will too.", Max chimed in.
"Ok, sure, loves. El, are you tired too or can you help me clean up?"
"No, of course, Ma." She hurried into the kitchen, as if she was trying to get as far away from the conversation as possible.
After a few seconds, Katie joined her daughter by the sink, the two falling into the usual routine of Elsie washing the dishes and Katie drying them.
"You were very quiet during dinner. Is there something bothering you, pet?"
Elsie shrugged, her voice shaking slightly. "No, nothing. I'm fine."
"Cmon, El. I've known you since you were a baby, I know when there's something wrong with you. Tell me."
Elsie sighed. "There's nothing, Ma. Nothing that we aren't all going through."
"Elsie. You can tell me anything. If you don't want me to tell your Mam, I won't. But if there's something bothering you, at least one of us has to know. That's why we're here."
"There's really nothing wrong, Ma. You know I'd tell you if there was."
"Not necessarily. I was a teenager once too and, as great as your gran is, I kept my fair share of secrets from her. You really think she knew about my fake ID in fifth year?"
Elsie scoffed. "I'm not drinking, Ma. Or smoking."
"Ok. There's not anyone bullying you, is there?"
"God, no. I scare bullies."
Katie smiled. "You're definitely our daughter so. But seriously, El. What's the matter?"
Elsie sighed. "Promise you won't tell Mam?"
"Of course not. Not until you're ready to tell her."
By now, all the dishes were put away, the only thing left to do being to put the teatowels in the washbasket. After Elsie did this, Katie looked at her and tilted her head. "Wanna go for a drive?"
Elsie's eyebrows raised. "Really? It's like 10."
"So? It's Friday. And you need to talk, and you don't want your Mam to know yet for some reason, and I want a Mcflurry. Let's go."
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