Armed with a copy of Faine "The Fearless", Rylan had hidden his journal somewhere else -not that I would've risked snooping through it again- I paced in Rylan's bedroom. I could breathe a little easier without him here, but I couldn't deny the ache in my chest when I thought about the empty cot in the other room. It was just as he left it, neat with his blanket folded at the foot of the bed. I felt guilty for taking his own bed for so long.
After Rylan left, Anders walked me back and I sat idle for hours, staring at the walls, the furniture, even the ceiling when I was bored enough. I flicked through the books on Rylan's shelves but every time I pulled one off the shelf, I could feel the walls closing in around me. Desperate for some fresh air and sunlight, more than what little shone through the one window in the room, I picked out a familiar book and strode through the cabin.
Just as I had stepped through the door, I bumped into the back of someone standing outside. I yelped in surprise, and the book fumbled from my hands. Then I realized who it was when Anders turned around, eyeing the book on the ground.
"Please don't tell me he has you standing out here all day." I bent down to pick my book off, brushing the dust off the cover.
"Captain's orders, my lady."
"Don't you have anything better to do?" I looked around Anders, hoping there would be some other reason he would be standing just outside the door. I saw his eyes flicker somewhere in the distance, past my shoulder and I didn't doubt the answer to my question was a 'yes'.
"Let's go then." I brushed past him, but when I didn't hear his footsteps behind me, I spun back around with my hands propped on my hips. "Come on, you can guard me just as well anywhere else. Besides, I'm about to go crazy sitting in there and it hasn't even been an entire day yet."
It didn't take long before Anders caved, falling in step beside me. Well, in front of me. One of his steps was almost double mine and I had to hasten my pace to keep up with him. "My legs were getting tired."
"I won't tell anyone if you sit down." I placed my hand over my heart in a mock-salute. "So where to?"
"I'm supposed to be training the new recruits."
I knew the path to the training grounds well, having memorized most of the layout of the camp already, even though I had only been there once, but this time I was prepared to act the part of a naïve farm girl. I wouldn't be utterly transfixed by the archery range and I absolutely wouldn't hold a bow this time.
"What do you train them in?"
"The usual. Combat, weapons, archery. Until they find what they're best at."
That surprised me. I had always thought roles were assigned upon enlistment but here they were given a choice. "What are you best at?"
"I prefer a battle axe. They require a great deal of strength to wield."
I tried to imagine Anders holding a battle axe. It would be one just about as tall as he is and would take two hands just to hold properly. I shuddered at the thought of seeing him on the battlefield. "What about Rylan?"
Anders gave me a knowing grin that caused me to tuck my chin as my face flushed. "He's the best swordsman in the camp."
Now that I could believe. Rylan had a slim form, nimble enough to evade close attacks. I pictured him with a sword and thought I wouldn't want to see that during battle either.
We arrived at the open area of the training grounds where a group of about fifty men waited. They were young and barely of age and it was clear that they didn't want to be here. Some lounging in the grass and others looking at anything but the soldier at the front barking orders at them.
When he saw Anders, I was too short to be seen over the heads of the other soldiers, the man's shoulders sagged in relief and he walked over to us. His steps faltered when he saw me a few feet behind Anders, but he quickly regained his composure.
"Anders, thank the gods. These new recruits are hopeless." He said when he got close enough. "Work your magic."
Anders strode to the front of the group, forgetting all about me. I watched as Anders transformed from a friendly giant to a lieutenant. He stood taller -if that was possible- towering over the new soldiers and he clasped his hands behind his back. His face darkened as his lips formed a tight, thin line.
"Listen up." HIs voice cut through the chatter and silence fell. "You are here to defend your country. Do you think you are ready?" A heartbeat passed before a few hesitant soldiers mumbled, "Yes, sir."
"Wrong." Anders paced back and forth. "But you will be. After I'm done with you, you'll have the knowledge, the skills, to defend yourself, your family, your country, and your freedom."
The recruits were now standing at attention with their hand firm by their sides, hanging onto Anders' every word. Whether they were scared of him or they respected him, I couldn't tell. When Anders ordered them into groups of ten, they were tripping over themselves to follow.
I wandered off as Anders drilled the new soldiers, still close enough that he could see me and took a spot in the shade beneath an oak tree. I leaned back against the trunk and propped open my borrowed book in my lap. Time stilled and the sounds of soldiers training fell away as I lost myself in the thrills of a pirate's adventure. It had been many years since I read this particular story and I had forgotten most of the details. Faine had just been captured by his sworn enemy, Wil "The Wicked" and all he had to escape with was a cord of wire sewn into his jacket pocket when a loud boom vibrated the very ground I was sitting on. I looked up from an illustration of Faine wielding his wire looped between both hands.
The soldiers were glancing around nervously, their wood swords forgotten by their sides. A building nearby had plumes of smoke billowing from every open window. There were no flames and it didn't seem that the smoke was getting any worse. Anders clapped his hands together, gaining the attention of the confused soldiers. "No need to worry. Common occurrence around here. Back to work."
The smoke had mostly dissipated by now, disappearing into the sky as it climbed higher. Through a window, I thought I saw a flash of white hair. Then a second later, another one. Overcome with curiosity, I shut the cover of my book and tucked it beneath my arm as I stood. Anders was too distracted training the soldiers that I was able to slip away unnoticed. It was only a brief walk before I stepped through the threshold of the small building.
It was only one room and I wasn't sure if it should be called that. Cluttered tables were pushed haphazardly towards one side of the room, barely leaving a walking path between them and a large cannon shoved into a corner. The ceiling had a large black stain in the center of it and the room smelled strongly of soldered metal.
The twins paid no attention to their new audience as they ran amok, muttering words to each other as they passed by. Both of their faces were smeared with black streaks. They worked in mostly silence, handing tools off to each other wordlessly. It made me wonder if their thoughts were connected somehow. Haiden worked a pipe cleaner through a long cylinder and each time, it came out dirtier than the last. Haigen's oil stained fingers worked swiftly as he tipped a black powdery substance from a small vial. He muttered, "Not too much this time."
"Your eyebrow is gone."
In unison, the pair of them looked up from their work and I smiled at the look of surprise on their faces. They turned towards each other reaching a hand to their face. Haiden flinched as he felt the singed tips of his brow.
"Now I'm not strikingly handsome anymore."
Haigen snorted as he focused his attention on his vial again. "You never were."
The other twin threw his pipe cleaner at his brother, but Haigen ducked just before it hit him in the head. Haiden cursed him under his breath.
"What are you two working on?" I stepped further into the room, crossing my arms over my chest. "It sounded like you were trying to blow up the entire camp."
"Not my fault." Haiden muttered under his breath.
"Ignore him. He's been in a mood all day."
"Tell that to my eyebrow."
"Oh, shut it, will you? It will grow back. Likely." Haigen turned his eyes heavenward. "Perhaps not. You may be horribly disfigured for the rest of your life."
"Anyway," Haigen dodged another of his brother's attacks. "We're working on a smaller version of that-" he gestured towards the too-large cannon that barely fits in the room and continued. "One that's easier to move on the battlefield. However, we can't seem to get the correct ratio of gunpowder. It won't shoot very far and it keeps blowing up in our faces."
"What is this for?" I picked up a small wad from a large stack of paper. The paper had been torn and balled into small clumps.
"It's to seal off the gas from the gunpowder when it's ignited."
"What if you used something else instead?" I rolled the ball of paper between my fingers. "Like a piece of cloth?"
Haigen hummed in thought. "That could work. Might keep it sealed better. Haiden, write that down." His brother made no such move.
I strolled over to one of the other tables, cluttered with discarded parts and pieces. I picked up a small, polished canister no bigger than my palm and studied it closely. It had a picture, shaped like a cloud, etched sloppily into the side
"I wouldn't pick that up. Might explode." Haigen muttered, without glancing up.
"Does everything in here explode?"
The twins exchanged a glance but didn't answer. That wasn't comforting. I carefully placed the canister back on the table and clasped my hands behind my back for safekeeping.
"Shouldn't Rylan be with you?" Haiden looked up from his work and his narrowed eyes scanned the room as if only noticing that I had wandered in here alone.
"Uh, no. He left earlier for the hunting trip." I glanced out the window that overlooked the training grounds. Anders was still focused on the new soldiers to have noticed I left. "He left Anders to look after me but he's busy right now."
"I don't know why Rylan signs up for those trips. Sleeping on the cold, hard ground. Eating grub for breakfast and dinner."
"Not much different here."
"True." Haigen hummed in agreement.
"You said he signed up. I thought he had to go since he's the captain."
"He could've just as well sent Anders or someone else to lead it."
"Oh," I didn't know why the thought caused the ache in my chest to grow larger. Maybe Rylan just enjoyed the thrill of the hunt. Or maybe... "Well, I'll leave you to it. Good luck with that." I gestured widely towards their cluttered tables. Perhaps they'll get it sorted out. The twins grunted in unison as I left.
Anders did a double-take when I returned. I tried for an apologetic smile, and I walked too quickly for him to question where I had been. Returning to my spot under the tree nearby, the book lay forgotten in my lap as my mind was too preoccupied to focus on such trivial stories.
It wasn't like Rylan was bound to stay by my side. He only felt an obligation to look after me because he was the one to find me in the forest. Rylan could go off a hunt if he liked -I didn't understand the appeal, but to each their own. He had a life here that I'm sure he enjoyed so why would he change just because of me?
So why do I feel out of place now, only when he's left?
With a huff of frustration, I tossed the book aside in the grass. I was giving this too much thought. It all wouldn't matter soon anyway because I'll be back home in no time. I could forget about all of this and put the past behind me. I just had to keep my distance until then.