⚣ ☆ heisenburgers and fries a...

By poopfartedsohard

108 2 7

What happens when a lovesick bimbo and a 50 year old man collide? They start a business together to pay for h... More

⚣ ☆ let alone count all the freckles on your face ☆ ⚣
☆ he's got a little something. say, Mr. Radio Man ^_− ☆
.° cause I'm a begging kind of man (^。^) °.
;3 My God is awesome, He can move mountains ;3
⋆。°✩ur deth could not kill my luv for u ^_^✩°。⋆
:3 show me how to floss :3

˚✧₊⁎ something in the way she woos me...⁎⁺˳✧༚

13 0 0
By poopfartedsohard

Jesse was at home, snacking on pickles and crisps ((his favorite in this au)) when his pager went off like crazy. He picked up his blackberry and pressed it hotly against his ear all hot  and stuff. "Hello?" walter was calling him. When walters talks to him all confidence goes out hte window hah

"O-oh w-mr wjite i- i wasnt e-e-excpe-pecting- um, you... um.. About the whole meth thing?" "Exactly." Walter responded like a mafia master, when in reality, he was holding a hello kitty phone in his left hand and combing his bald head with his hello kitty hairbrush in the other.

"Me? Meet me at the pink tree tomorw afternoon. 7 pm sharp to be exact."

When walt put down the phone to play with lps doll jesse flopped onto his bed (he had that one thom yorke bedspread) and starting kicking his feet like a kitter cat in lov ewith a boy. "Am i.... gay?" Jesse pondered.

Sunday again?!" jesse sighed. Oh wait at 7 i gotta meet up with my boyfr- i mean FREIND mr white."

He slapped together a lousy excuse of an outfit he calls "style" while thinking  about his boyfr sorry i mean friend mr white his freind.

And here he comes up the cherry tre hill. "Wow jesse those jeans are just.... they hang off your legs well,pinkman." Jesse';s heart fluttered. He couldnt possibly have felt this wayu about anyone else.

So now two thingsre for sure, hes in love, and hes gay.

"Jesse we got to have rid of this meth stat! Pronto! A.S.A.P Asap!"

Jesse sighed a gay sigh of relife "So... we arent gonna sell meth to highschoolers? and go to jail for it?"

"Of course not jesse. That principles schizo and you are too if you think we're gonna sell meth to highschoolers. If you ignore the fact that it's against the law, it has a multitude of horrifying side affects and is highly addictive. I would never sell that to innocent people and fuel their addictions. That's morally and ethically incorrect and I hold myself to higher standards than that. Now let's smoke all of this crank so we can get rid of it safely."

Jesse complied, and so they spent the next hours smoking 5 barrels of chalk (split equally.).

"Mr white do you want the resta that..." said  stonedjesse before walt dug his grimey chemical man hands into the barrel gifted to them by ermantrout. They ended up finishing at around 6:00 am, just in time for school! How continent my dears!. (directed at mr. walt and jesse)

They went to school, and went their ways. They excitedly began serving heisenburgers, fries, and shakes in highschool. They realized they were much more focused today, but who knows why! Not them! Don't ask them! They weren't involved!

At the end of the day, jesse dug his pretty boy hands into the money bucket that customers spit their dollars into (customary)

And guess what? $1,000. Jesse teared up thinking about posisbly helping Mr wilts daughter be born before white came up from behind him and began to say

"I would enjoy kissing you on the face, jesse."

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