//कभी तुम्हें याद मेरी आए, पलकों से ज़ुल्फ हटा लेना
साफ़ दिखूंगा मैं तुमको वहीं, जो ना दिखूं तो बता देना//
❃
5th January 2018, Delhi
9 PM
Dear Diary,
So much happened in the last few days!
Kabir and I went for a short trip to Goa to celebrate Kabir's success and also to welcome the new year.
Goa is such a beauty!
Stepping onto the sandy shores of Goa, a rush of excitement coursed through me.
After all, it was my first time visiting the place.
Every moment there felt like a dream. The golden sand, the rhythmic waves, and the tropical breeze - it's like paradise. But amidst all this beauty, there was a mixture of emotions swirling within me. Being able to go there with Kabir holds a blend of emotions I can't even put into words.
We discovered the charming beaches, wandered hand in hand through the vibrant markets, took romantic walks, indulged in the local cuisine, danced the night away at clubs, and laughed as we attempted water sports.
He was his usual adventurous self, pushing me out of my comfort zone, just as he always has. There were times when I got scared, but, for him, nothing was scary, everything was fun.
My brave Kabir!
If someone were to ask me to describe those few days, I wouldn't have any words.
My college degree can go into dumps, but I literally can't describe those days.
I could just say, bliss.
Bliss, not because I went to a city that was on my bucket list for years, but bliss because of the man who was there with me.
The whole trip was mesmerizing, but the best thing that happened was a candlelight dinner Kabir planned for me.
He called it our first fancy date!
Soft candlelights flickered through, casting their dancing shadows on the sand, and leading us to an elegantly set table. A gasp of amazement left my lips, my eyes twinkled with wonder, and happiness coursed through my veins.
I was speechless!
He grinned at my reaction and said, "I thought both of us deserve a special evening."
The setting was too beautiful with fragrant roses and glistening fairy lights adorning a table.
Romantic, much!
Honestly speaking, I never expected Kabir to do something like this!
He held my hand, leading me to the table, his warm hands holding my cold ones, passing warmth from my hands to my heart.
He pulled a chair for me, just like the gentleman he is, and soon settled himself.
The tantalizing aroma of delectable cuisine enveloped us, an irresistible invitation that compelled me to eagerly lift the lids. To my delight, a sumptuous spread of all my cherished favorites lay before me, a delightful surprise that painted an instant smile across my face.
"Are you trying to impress me, Mr. Sethi?", I asked.
He laughed and replied, "Was I successful?"
I grinned. "You don't need to try, I am already very much impressed by you."
We dug into the delicious food, as we talked with the waves whispering their secrets and the stars twinkling in agreement.
He shared stories of his days at the training camp, his dreams, and his apprehensions. I shared stories of my plans, my dreams, and my concerns.
We laughed, we reminisced, and we held onto each other's words like precious gems. The connection felt deeper, like a wellspring of emotions that flowed freely under the moonlit sky.
After the food was done, he very gracefully asked for a dance, which I happily agreed to. Amidst the soft melody, we swayed together, writing a love story without words.
We leaned on each other, our foreheads touching. He cupped my face in his hands, his eyes searching for mine, asking for my consent, and his lips brushed against mine in a kiss that resonated with the passion and tenderness that was uniquely ours.
We continued to stay in each other embrace, holding hands, as we gazed at the stars above.
Our peace was broken as his phone rang. He saw his father calling and picked up the call.
As they talked, I saw Kabir's expression changing, his face shifting, and his eyes furrowing and I knew, I knew, something changed.
"Meera", he softly uttered after disconnecting the call, "my posting came!"
The words landed like pebbles in a still pond, creating ripples that disrupted the tranquil surface of our evening.
Shit!
He'll be going soon!
I composed myself and asked, "Where?"
"Drass", he said.
Drass. Oh. My. God.
I held the melancholy in my heart and smiled, "Congratulations Kabir! Oh, sorry, Lieutenant Kabir Sethi. It's your first posting! I am so happy!"
I hugged him and could hear him say, "Thanks, baby!"
"When are you leaving? ", I further asked.
"5th", he said.
5th. I looked at my watch and saw that it was almost 11:30 PM, almost a new day.
Only 4 more days and he'll be gone!
There was happiness, but there was sadness.
We sat at the beach calmly, just trying to hold onto the last few moments we had before he sets on to his new journey.
"I wish I could freeze this moment.", I heard myself say. "You, me, and this peace."
He took a deep breath and said, "I too wish, Meera, but.."
I interrupted before he could go further, "No Kabir, there is no but! Not for you! It's your dream. And, I swear, there is nothing that's gonna make me more than happy than seeing you serving the nation."
He smiled and I continued, "Also, don't forget, you have to bring me stars."
"Stars?", he quizzed.
I smiled and replied, "Yeah, didn't you say that day, you are going to earn many stars in the Army?"
He laughed and I felt peace.
"So, my moon wants stars?", he flirtatiously asked. And, I couldn't help but blush.
He continued, "Promise love, a lot of stars. I will make you very proud of myself."
He again cupped my face in his hands, his eyes searching for mine as if trying to engrave every detail into his memory. The breeze carried a mixture of salt and sorrow as his lips met mine in a gentle, lingering kiss. The taste of this kiss was bittersweet, a blend of tenderness and the knowledge that distances were about to test our love.
We held each other close, the embrace conveying more than words ever could.
"You are my anchor, Meera!", I heard him say. "Wherever I'll go, your heart will always be with me."
I smiled and replied, "And, my heart will be waiting for you, counting the days, until you come back to us."
Suddenly, we heard fireworks taking over the sky.
We looked at our watches, and it was 12!
A new year sets in.
"Happy New Year, baby!", Kabir murmured, kissing my forehead.
"Happy New Year, Kabir!"
We saw the candles flickering and decided to make our way back. We walked back, his arm around me, the waves serenading us with their timeless melody.
As I looked back, I thought of all the moments spent in this beautiful city.
With a new year, a new dawn, a new chapter begins for us, a chapter that'll test us with distance and longing.
The next day, we took a flight back home.
The flight back was bittersweet. As I was watching the coastline fade away from the airplane window, a knot of emotions was looming in my chest.
All I could think was that soon, Kabir will step into another world, far from me, the world of uniform and discipline.
Kabir spent the remaining days with his family and evenings with me. I helped him shop for the few things he might need there. We talked, smiled, kissed, laughed, and made as many memories as we could.
Time flew like a wind and Kabir left for Drass today.
I went to drop him off at the station. We sat at the platform holding hands, till the train gave off its last signal.
A lump formed in my throat. "I'll miss you so much."
He reached over and brushed a strand of hair from my face. "I'll miss you too, more than I can express."
And, the train departed.
Kabir, I'll miss you!
As he was leaving, I felt emotionally torn and devastated. I felt like crying hard, but I know I can't. I just can't seem to hold myself off.
It feels unusual, sad and it is awful.
But, now, I am getting used to staying away from him.
I now understand he is a soldier first and a boyfriend later.
I have been possessive all my life, and have never shared my things with anybody. But, this time, I am sharing my biggest treasure with the nation.
I am a bit troubled but proud of the fact, that no matter what happens, my love's first and foremost love will always be our motherland.
There is also the fear looming at the back of my mind about his safety.
There is an inescapable long wait for his safe return, which is a test of patience.
In my heart, I carry the warmth of his hand in mine, the taste of his love in my heart, and the reassurance that love knows no distance.
Our journey is taking on a new journey, one that will test us but also strengthen us in ways we can't yet imagine.
I just hope no danger looms over Kabir and he stays fine.
The pages might turn, but the memories and the love we share will remain as constant as the waves that caress the Goan shores.
Meera
❃
Another update!
Do vote, comment, share and follow!
Also, follow me on Instagram @ shewhowriteslove.
Until next time
Love