Prologue
Friday night. That's where it all happened.
There was going to be a bonfire after the football game. Most people just went to drink, hook-up, have sex, the usual really. I wasn't interested in any of that, but I tagged along just to spend time with my friends.
That's the night it happened.
The night where I succumbed into nothingness. The night where all light and smiles left my body, for the darkness that awaited me.
It was the night I died.
Jake Carson wasn't there with me. If he was there, I would have been saved by him, just like it had always been. He was grounded that night; that night was the only night he had ever been grounded. I sometimes wonder if this was my destiny...whether the unforgivable torture and heartwrenching pain that awaited me that night was destined to happen to me, no matter what.
I was there with Charlotte, my best friend since third grade. When we arrived at the bonfire, it didn't take long for her to escape with her new boyfriend, leaving me all alone. I felt comfortable though, just sitting there with the people I knew for a good ten years or so. That's what I liked about our school....or so I thought.
I was minding my own business, trying to keep myself warm from the icy temperature, when Connor Matthews decided to sit next to me. I started to hyperventilate immediately. I mean, come on. Connor was the schools hero, the captain of the football team, the one guy who was loved by everyone, no matter what. He also had short hair, an almost black colour, with light green eyes, with hints of blue in them.
Actually, to be honest with you, I had a crush on him. Since forever. The way he walked through the hallways as if he dominated the place asked, not only mine, but for every girl's attention. I never had the guts to talk to him, I've always been shy. But now, he was sitting next to me on that dreadful, dreadful night. It was pretty difficult to believe, I mean, these kind of things never happened to Laura Marano.
"Hey, Laura, how you doing?" He asked me, his eyes watching my every move. I couldn't look at him; I don't know why, I felt so little next to him, as if I was a worthless piece of rubbish. Well, I couldn't even form my sentences properly.
"Okay," I managed to say quietly, looking down on my lap. Nervousness ran through my blood and my stomach did a somersault as I looked up to him.
"You were at my game tonight, right?" He asked me, gently brushing his shoulder with mine. With such a close proximity, I felt the heat around us, causing me to blush.
I remembered when Connor at the game, when he threw the ball to Jackson, who was crowded by defenders. Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I watched Jackson and two other teammates jump and catch the ball at the same time. At the end, Jackson had gotten the ball, just because Connor had thrown it to him at the right time. It was pretty amazing, but for Connor, it was normal.
"You were amazing," I replied back to him, trying to get rid of the heat that suddenly appeared on my cheeks. There was a gush of wind, and there were a few hailstones that fell from the sky. The sharp droplets hit my ears, causing a deep shiver to run through my body.
"Are you cold?" He asked me, moving even closer to me. The way he looked at me, made elephants somersault in my stomach a million times. I was well known in school, but just wasn't the popular ones you would expect Connor Matthews to spend their time with.
"Only a bit. I didn't realise it there were going to be hailstones today," I replied, as more hailstones made contact with my cheeks.
He got up from next to me, and pulled out his hand, "Come with me. I have a sweatshirt in my house you can borrow to keep you warm for a bit."
I hesitated for a moment, before holding his hand. I felt a little uncomfortable, but I was still able to trust him. I mean, I've been to his house before, so I assumed it would be alright.
Connor opened the door, whilst maintaining a constant tight grip on my hand, as we went through the corridors of his house. I was completely focused on the pastel paint colours and the cherry wood floors, that I barely even noticed he was leading me upstairs.
He took out the key from his pocket to unlock, which I assumed, to be his bedroom. I think he realised that I was looking at him cause he said, "I hardly let anyone come into my room".
He pushed the door open, and I followed him inside. Did I feel a bit uneasy going into Connor Matthews' bedroom? Yes. Did I think for a second that I shouldn't be here right now? No. I'd known him for a number of years, and I knew he was a good guy, just like how everyone else thought of him.
But then he closed the door and locked it within a heartbeat; and that's when I started getting a bit scared as my palms turned sweaty, despite the ice cold temperature. His bedroom walls were a dark shade of green with lots of football posters stuck on them. I'll never forget how it smelled like he had used cologne to cover the stench of his dirty gym clothes.
Connor remained weirdly still, staring at me with those intense green eyes, and all of a sudden, I felt something was wrong. "Can you give me that sweatshirt? I should find Charlotte in a bit, she's probably looking for me."
"Oh right yeah, hold on," he said, rummaging through his drawer. I walked towards his window, and looked at the diminishing fire caused by the rattling hailstones. There was more of them, you could hear the hailstones hitting the windows hard. I really wanted to get out of here and find Charlotte before she went home without me.
His house was eerily quiet, which sent a chill through my body. I could feel Connor's footsteps getting close to me, my heart beating faster and faster with every step he took. I knew I had to get out of here, it felt so wrong being with him in his room. Coming with him to his room was a mistake, and coming to this party without Jake was a mistake.
I spun around to get out of his room, when I was greeted with his light eyes and vacant stare. This wasn't the same guy who sat next to me by the bonfire. I wanted to sprint out of the house and never look back, but he was blocking my way. "I'm going to go outside...it's getting kinda warm in here," I lied, wanting to get out of his room as soon a possible.
He didn't say anything to me, as he stepped closer to me until there was no space between us. He had an intense stare in his eyes, which made me feel as if he was in a trance or something. My hands started sweating more, and I thought my knees were going to buckle any second now...I was scared.
"Connor."
"But there are hailstones outside, Laura," he said, reaching his hand to touch my cheek. I stepped away from him, but he followed me. I wanted to leave, but I knew it was too late. His nose smelled my hair as I shivered from his touch, "Mmm, you smell so good, Laura," he said, placing his lips on my neck. I felt completely helpless.
"Connor, please let me go. I need to go and find Charlotte," I cried. My whole body was strickened from fear, as if I was paralyzed and I couldn't move a limb. I was stuck, and there was no way out.
He ignored my words completely, as he moved his lips towards my jawline. I pushed him away, but his grip was fiercer and tighter, as he pulled me, crashing into his chest. "What's wrong, Laura? I know the way you look at me in school. I know you want me, as much as I want you," he said with a deep voice that scared me even more. Panic rushed through my blood leaving me even more paralyzed than I was before. I used the little strength I still had to push him away, but he didn't even budge.
"Please Connor, please just let me go," I pleaded. One of his hands gripped my hips tightly in place, as he roughly kissed me. The force of his kiss came with a sharp pain as I tasted blood in my mouth, alongside the alcohol coming from his breath.
He found the bottom of my shirt and started to pull it up, releasing my bare stomach. I tried to get away from him, but it was no use...He was bigger and stronger than me.
He gripped my hands and pushed me towards his bed, as I fell, lying on my stomach. I tried to let go but I felt handcuffs being placed on my wrists, which sent a sharp pain through my body. I was terrified for my life. I was going to die. I felt his presence on top of me, as he pinned my legs down with his knees. The pain was unbearable ...or so I thought.
"SOMEONE HELP!!" I shouted as loud as my body could let me. Tears were streaming through my face, as my sense of panic kept increasing.
He slapped his hand over my mouth, pulling my head back until my neck ached. "Shut the fuck up. No one's going to hear you."
And that was that. I was trapped beneath him, alone, with no one to save me. Every ounce of strength I had within me was gone, and I knew as time went by, it became less and less unlikely that someone would walk through that door. His bedspread was soaked with my never ending tears, as I concentrated on the hailstones that slapped themselves against the window. I could feel my jeans falling, as they slung to my right ankle. I could hear him undoing his belt...there wasn't enough air for me to breathe. I've never been so exposed before, and I didn't want that to ever happen. I wanted to save myself for that special someone, but no, Connor took that away from me. I couldn't breathe, and I felt as if my lungs had stopped functioning. I cried. I screamed. I yelled. But there was no sound.
He began to press against my backside, and I wanted to puke. "STOP!" I screamed as loud as I could, trying to get away from his grasp.
He released a low laugh from behind me, "Still trying to get away?"
"Please Connor, don't," I begged again. Time was running out. He didn't say anything when I heard the sound of foil ripping. I closed my eyes, and said a little prayer. Please let this be a nightmare. Please, someone walk through that door and stop this from happening. I just wanted to be anywhere...but here.
But the truth is that no one was listening to me that horrible night. I could hear the sharp contact of the hailstones hitting against the window, the roof, the ground. I used to like the sound of hailstones, but Connor took that away from me too.
He pressed into me so quick, that I felt pain explode throughout my whole body, sending a deafening scream into the bedspread. I had never suffered through so much emotional and physical pain before. It was the worst night of my life.
It still is.
He carried on. He didn't stop. Not when I yelled. Not when I screamed. Not when I kept crying and crying. My body was invaded that night, with each and every thrust, my self respect died a little more every time. It hurt a lot more to fight it, so I remained still. I could never get over the feel of his body on top of mine, when he continued to destroy every ounce of my soul. I would always have to live with the feel of him inside me; it was something horrible, something I couldn't control. I would never be the same after everything he had done to me.
I'm not sure how long I was in the bedroom, but it felt like forever. I felt my whole life go between my eyes as I grieved in pain. For as long as I lived, I will always regret going up to that bedroom with Connor Matthews. I could never get that day back, or the rest of the things he took away from me.
The most vital thing I lost was my sense of self. It had taken me seventeen years to build my own foundation, and it took just minutes to completely shatter it to pieces.
I hate him.
The old Laura is gone...and she is never coming back.
And I'll always hate, when it hails.
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This is my new story! What do you guys think of it so far?? Vote and comment! Tell me your thoughts :)