Emptiness— the feeling of missing something like a deep hole was dug down inside your heart. It will slowly push you to complete oblivion, reeling by morbid darkness that will consume you until all you have left is your own voice to be able to call somebody for help.
But is someone willing to take the risk? To let themselves sink by my caged emotions? Imprisoned by an unreal pain that I craved more than a pointless knife piercing me down endlessly. Is someone willing to save me from the monster of my own abnormality?
For me, the world seemed like a shadow because life itself is too distracting. It will keep you busy and oblivious of what is beyond your surroundings.... to the point that you will miss almost everything.
I wish I could smell the flowers my Mom took care of from all those years— how the fragrance would be like the moment of its first bloom. I wish I could remember how awful the food tasted when my Dad tried to cook for me once upon a dinner. I hope I have a photographic memory to see them in my head every time they were looking at me lovingly. On how I listened intently with my hazel green eyes wide every time they read me a bedtime story when I was a kid. And I wish I could remember how it feels like to be embraced by them together and say how I need them so badly in my life.
But that very day I lost them both as the rain stopped from falling.
The raindrops— it was the last thing I received from the world itself.
That day I lost something important. And after that day, the world became more meaningful to me.
With every step I take, it all seems like I am chasing for something unknown. With each fall, I would always stand up to expect more falling.
I want to fail better. I want to know how it feels to fall on my own knees. To drown under the water, to burn from the sun's heat, and shiver from ice-cold winter.
But I always knew that they want me to fly softly like butterflies.
So I would. So... I promised.