We all stood in the choir room except for Rachel and Mr. Schuester. "Glee club stands on a delicate precipice. We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face. But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution: swirlies, patriotic wedgies..." he stated.
I nodded in agreement "What's a patriotic wedgie?" Mercedes asked "It's when they hoist you up the flag pole by your undies." Finn and I said in unison "Strangely, it did make me feel more American." Artie frowned.
Everyone ignored Artie's previous statement "Based on my investigation, I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of anti-glee-club terror. I've done a little library research. Peter Gellar. Glee club second tenor, 1998. He can be seen here with both a drawn on Hitler mustache and rice paddy hat. Shortly after the yearbook came out, Mr. Gellar had a nervous breakdown. He is now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library." Kurt explained.
"Patches?" Quinn asked "Patches." He stated "He barks at my mom." Brittany said in a zoned out trance. "Exhibit B: Tawny Peterson, glee club class of 2000, seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years would prove eerily prescient. I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise. I suggest not fighting Figgins' ruling." he finished off.
Soon enough Mr. Schuester entered the room, ending our previous discussion "Oh, hey, guys. Ah, looking at old Thunderclaps?" Mr. Schuester said as he walked over to us "It's really unsettling." Artie said "And totally unfair. Hey, can I borrow one of these?" he said as he took the yearbook from Kurt.
I frowned when I realized what Kurt was wearing before turning back in on the conversation "You know what? This year's thunderclap is going to have a glee club photo with every one of your smiling faces. You have my word on it." he said in assurance before leaving.
We all share an uneasy look. I can not have my picture defaced I'll be one slushie away from having a dye stained penis.
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I sat down at the table in front of Quinn in the library. She was looking at an old yearbook photo of her on the Cheerios. "Reminiscing isn't gonna make you feel any better." I stated softly. She looked up at me with glossy eyes.
I already knew what she was thinking about. I heard her talking to herself last night about it. "Your future non-bastard children are gonna realize just how amazing their mother is. Not by what's in that yearbook but by the realness their gonna know just how strong their mom is. Stop worrying." I said as I gently rubbed her arm.