I may pass out. I wonder how they would react. Would they just carry me out of the way and pretend nothing had happened? Maybe they had some kind of magic that would just bring me back instantly.
I remind myself to take another breath.
We stand in a line, Roux looks over her shoulder at me and gives me a small smile, I try my best to smile back but I'm worried it looks more like a grimace.
We had all be powdered and dressed, hair braided and brushed and twisted. We were all wearing jewels around our necks and crystals in our hair.
I stand at the back of the line listening to the room we are about to enter, waiting to be announced. I try not to think about how many fae would be in that room, all of them watching us as we walk in. I take another breath.
I just had to focus on walking, walking and breathing, I could do that, and then we were to all curtsy to the royal family and then the formalities would be somewhat over and I would go and hide in a corner and wait for it all to be over. At least that was my plan.
The doors ahead of us open and I take another breath, I wait for Roux to move ahead of me and follow her, putting one foot in front of the other. I stare at the back of Roux's head, following the lines of her tight spiral curls that had been pulled up and twisted with gold combs keeping it all in place.
I tell myself to ignore the stares, to ignore the others in the room but it is only a matter of time before I look up and around.
There are so many, the room is full of fae, males and females all staring at us, watching the line of human women walk towards the dais.
I face forward, keeping in time with Roux and the other girls until we are spread out in front of the dais. I keep my head down reminding myself to breathe. At least I had made it to this point.
"We welcome our latest chosen ones of the offering." A male voice calls out to the hall. "Twelve young women have been given to us this year and are now welcome to our Kingdom as honoured guests." He continues. "As is tradition we present this year's offering to the royal family, King Harwyn Vallessia, Queen Marlia Vallessia and our Princes, Prince Demwyn, Prince Alvaryn and Prince Aeris."
I curtsy low, holding the pose with the other girls until the King speaks.
"Be welcome honoured chosen." He says and we all stand. I try to smile as I had been told to smile, the demure smile of a chosen, it doesn't feel very demure, it feels more like a scowl and my jaw aches from gritting my teeth.
I notice the King sitting on his throne, the chair rising up and around him, a golden crown on his dark head. He is a handsome man, even more so than the other fae males I have seen already. A strong square jaw and sharp cheekbones, I couldn't guess his age as it seems impossible to do so with any fae. He is smiling down at us as the Advisor continues to speak of the great tradition we are upholding and the treaty that was made.
Next to the King is his wife, hair so blonde it is almost white sits long and straight, a gold crown atop her head and jewels around her throat. She smiles as well and she is the most beautiful female I have ever seen, skin creamy white and near perfect and looks as if it is glowing. Eyes so bright blue they look like crystals and a delicate face that looks down at us with a perfect smile. Then I turn to the Princes, they stand to the left of the King, the closest has the same dark hair of his father but is longer, resting around his shoulders. He is just as handsome with the same strong jawline and cheekbones, he looks as if he is about to go off into battle in all black, his shoulders broad and solid as he stands with his hands behind his back looking down at the room, eyes gazing at the women with what looks like resignation.
Next has the same dark hair but cut short, the sides clipped and the top longer and combed off to the side. I look at his face and he is beautiful, his skin is paler then his brothers and a long pale scar runs from his left brow over his eye and to his cheekbone but it doesn't take away his beauty, if anything it only adds to it. He is wearing a serious expression as he looks down at this year's offering. He is leaner then his brother but stands tall and straight wearing a fitted dark blue fae suit with gold embroidery on the jacket. The last Prince has the same white blonde hair as their mother, it is long and straight and half pulled back from his face which holds a smug expression, one corner of his mouth is pulled up and as I gaze up I meet his eyes. My heartbeat stutters as I stare at the prince, how can someone be so beautiful and masculine at the same time? His head tilts to the side only subtly and he doesn't break my gaze as I stare back.
Only when the King finally stands do I break his stare and turn to the king taking in deep breaths as I try to calm my racing heart.
The king stands and holds his arms up.
"This offering will be different as not only will our High Lords be among those who will be choosing a bride, but my own sons, our princes, will also be choosing a bride each." There are whispers and quiet voices around the hall as the news is taken in. "My sons, your princes, will choose their brides first from the chosen and then the High Lords will choose their brides. This is a momentous occasion and one that will be celebrated for years to come. I myself am happy to welcome each of the chosen into my home and hope that you will all come to view our Kingdom as your home." He smiles down at us. "Now that part is over, please let the music begin."
Music begins playing and fills the room. We have been instructed to speak to the other guests as we will be introduced to the Lords and Ladies of the court.
I didn't like the idea of this part. I look around as the fae begin to move around the room, some begin dancing at its centre, I move to the edge of the room, wanting to be as far away from the dancing as possible. If earlier had proved anything, it was that I should not be dancing.
I notice the tables filled with food and drinks, servants weave their way around the sides, blending in to the shadows and staying out of the way. Guards in their fitted uniforms are stationed regularly around the room.
I watch as some of the girls begin talking to the fae, they smile and curtsy, others stare around with wide frightened eyes.
I search for Roux and find her standing at the edge of the dance floor, she is approached by three fae, two males and one female. She smiles and curtsies as they introduce themselves.
I edge further back and bump against the wall.
I could stay here all night, no one would notice me here, unless the Mistress started counting I suppose, or the Advisor begins wondering around, I doubt he would miss anything.
As the music changes and partners are changed, more of the chosen are invited to dance, they move in rhythm to the music, swaying and stepping in time. Roux is smiling at the fae that holds her hand and turns her, her pale pink dress sashaying around her. If I didn't know better I would say she looks like she belonged here with them.
"Shouldn't you be out there dancing instead of hiding?" A male voice says behind me quietly making me gasp. I turn and look up to find the blonde Prince smirking down at me.
"Beautiful..." I breathe before I can stop myself as I stare up at the prince.
I blink, collecting my thoughts and try to remember the correct greetings and terms to use. I quickly curtsy.
"Your Highness," I smile as best as I can. He nods in return a smirk still on the corner of his mouth.
"So, shouldn't you be out there?" He asks, pointing at the dance floor.
"Yes, probably." I answer with a nod, voice shaky and hands gripped in front of me.
"But you're hiding back here, blending in with the shadows and the servants." He continues to watch me closely, his eyes are so dark they are almost black like onyx.
I blink and nod again, not sure what to say in return.
"I could force you to dance." He tilts his head to one side.
"That wouldn't be a very good idea." I tell him softly, mentally pulling my hair from my head at the idea of being forced to dance with him.
"And why is that?" He asks, still watching me intently and I can't help but be caught in his expression, like he is physically pulling me towards him.
"Because I would be more likely to trip over or step on your foot then dance." I answer honestly as the words tumble out of my mouth, still in shock that I am talking to one of the princes. Why am I speaking? I should just stop. No he was a prince, if he spoke I had to reply.
The corner of his mouth pulls up higher. "You're scared to dance?" He asks, sounding amused.
Something in his expression makes my temper flare. "I'm not scared, we weren't given much time to learn today, I'm usually a quick learner but not with dancing it seems."
Gods, what did I just do? I just snapped at a Prince! I hold my breath waiting for his reply.
He smiles, surprising me and glances at the dancers looking bored.
"Well lucky for you it's only the presentation and doesn't really hold that much importance." He says grabbing a wine glass from a passing servant's tray.
"It doesn't?" I ask, watching as he tips the glass back and drinks greedily.
"No, it's just a formality and so all the High Lord pricks can start staking their claims on which human girl they want." He shrugs, looking out at the dance floor with no interest.
I look around again, Roux is dancing with a different fae male, still smiling, the floor was full of dancing chosen, some smiling, others nervous.
"The only difference this time is that they don't get the first pick." He smiles down at me, his glass half empty. His dark eyes stare down into mine, he felt so much taller than me, taller than just a moment before, maybe it was the shadows playing tricks on me.
"Come here girl!" The Mistress bursts out in front of me reaching out for my arm.
I look beside me but the Prince is gone. I search around me looking for his unique hair but see nothing.
"Why are you hiding back here, you should be out there dancing with the other girls, come now." The Mistress scolds, grabbing my arm and dragging me out towards the fae.
I stand nervously looking around wandering how the Prince disappeared so quickly and why he had come up to me at all. The other two were still on the dais where a table and chairs had been set up.
"There you are," I recognize his voice before I turn and find the Advisor smiling at me. "I wondered where you got to."
I offer him a small curtsy, because there were different types of curtsies apparently.
"Daella, isn't it?" I nod in answer. "I am Varis, Advisor to the King." He bows slightly. "I remember you were not so eager to join us here, how are you finding the palace?"
I don't know how to answer, surely he didn't want to the truth, most people didn't.
"It's different." I answer softly.
"I can only imagine, your old life must seem like a faraway dream compared to the palace. Your life has been flipped on its head and you have been bought into this new world full of so many different things and different rules, it must be so very overwhelming."
"Yes, overwhelming would sum it up." I agree.
"Well, I just wanted to remind you, this is your life now, it is up to you to decide how you want your life to carry on. Whether you want to stand back and hide, or whether you want to step out into the light. You are a beautiful young woman, despite your human flaws, there would be many fae males who would like to meet you and dance with you as is custom." He smiles but it is not a comforting smile or a reassuring smile, it is condescending and threatening and I do my best to keep my expression neutral.
"Thank you." I smile nervously.
I don't like that term, human flaws. I knew there was an obvious difference between fae and human, but there was a reason they came and took us away from our homes, these human flaws did not stop them from breeding with us.
"Now, why don't I introduce you to one of the High Lords and you can join in instead of hiding away." He offers and without leaving me an option he guides me towards a small group of fae males and females talking amongst themselves, they stop and turn towards us as we approach.
"Lord and Lady Withright, their son Lord Saevel, and their daughter the Lady Annith, I would like to introduce you to one of our chosen, Daella." The Advisor says with a nod in their direction. I quickly curtsy and smile at them.
"How lovely to meet you Daella, what a beauty you are." The Lady smiles at me holding a crystal wine glass in her hands.
"Welcome to our Kingdom Daella, how do you find living in the palace?" The Lord asks standing at his wife's side.
"It's very beautiful." I smile, again hiding back my true thoughts because no one wanted to hear how much I wanted to run back to my room rip all these clothes and undergarments off and burn them in the fireplace so I can run back to my home and hide from these people.
They smile at me, pleased with my answer no doubt.
"What a beautiful dress you are wearing, the colour suits your complexion perfectly." The young lady smiles at me and I have already forgotten her name.
I glance down at the gown, running my fingers over the smooth velvet, there was no doubt it was beautiful, everything in this place was beautiful, stunning, captivating, the fae with their youth and beauty, each of them strong and powerful. The Palace decorated with gold trimmings and furnishings so rich and decadent I was scared to touch most things. I was so used to being covered in dirt and food at the end of each day that I still imagined I would leave marks anywhere I went. I don't think my fingernails have ever been this clean in my life.
"Thank you." I smile again holding my hands in front of me as I was told to stand.
"Miss Daella, would you care to dance?" The Young Lord asks and I immediately try to think of an answer where I could decline but the Advisor stands watching with a knowing smile on his face.
"Yes, thank you." I smile and nod and take is outstretched hand.
He leads me out to the dance floor as the music slows and begins to change.
"I should warn you I don't know all of these dances." I say quickly, looking up at my dance partner as he stands in front of me. He smiles.
"They aren't too difficult to learn once you get the basic steps." He assures me. "I'll help guide you through them."
The music begins to swell as other couples take their places around us. I glance around nervously, my heart hammering in my chest, maybe this would be a good time to pass out, at least it would get me out of dancing.
"Ready?" He asks, focussing my attention. I look back up at him and nod with a nervous smile. He only smiles back.
"Curtsy," He says as he bows, I quickly obey. Then take his hands as he leads me side to side. "And then a slow spin." He says next, guiding me around before taking my hand again. "Back, one step,"
He continues to tell me each step until I realise it is just a series of steps repeated.
"See, you are a natural." He smiles down at me.
"Thank you, ah, I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name." I admit, stepping to the side.
"Saevel, don't worry, I won't take it too personally. I'm sure this is all very confusing to you."
"Just a little" I nod, spinning around again.
"I imagine there must be much to remember." He says as he guides me from step to step. "They never really give the girls much time to prepare for it all."
"Were you here for the last offering?" Not sure why I am asking.
He nods. "Yes, just as a spectator."
"But not this time?" I ask.
"Hopefully not." He smiles as we take a step apart, he bows and I curtsy before he holds out his arm and guides me back to his family.
There is another family waiting when we return and the events repeat themselves.
The night goes on and on, my feet ache and my face is tight and sore from all the smiles and conversation. All the same questions and answers over and over until finally we are rounded up by the Mistress and told we are allowed to go back to our rooms.
By the time I am getting into bed and the servants have left me alone it must be some ridiculous time in the morning and I'm sure it won't be long until the sun starts to rise.
I groan as I drag myself under the covers, pulling them up to my chin.
All I can hear is the crackling of the fire.
I miss the heavy breathing of my sister Ruth, and the soft muttering of Winnie in one of her dreams.
I wonder if they have all just gone back to normal. What would father have said when he was told? Would he have been upset? And Tully and Ryder? Would they miss me at all? It would have been nice to at least said goodbye to them. They would have known there was a chance, it had been so long since the last offering, and I hadn't been asked by any of the men in my own village. It was only a matter of time I guess. If I hadn't been taken by the fae and bought here then I most likely would have been taken to another village to be married off. To become a wife.
I can't stop the tears as they spill down my cheeks.
I didn't want this. This life isn't me. The dresses and the dancing and curtsying.
I wanted a hug from my mum. I missed the creaks of the floorboards that ran throughout the house. I missed the leak in the roof that the boys always promised to fix but never got time to.
This isn't what I wanted. But I guess, at the end of the day, what I wanted didn't matter. It would never really matter. My life was chosen the moment I was born, my choices made by the men around me. It was only a matter of time.