song of the chapter ~ reflections by the neighbourhood
'falling just as hard'
•matt sturniolo•
@arabellarey
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[tagged] @milo_98
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[tagged] @nicksturniolo, @chrissturniolo
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[tagged] @chloee.222
dump from last night but i don't remember taking any of these 😃😃 (was so close to jumping off a building 🤞🏻)
{ liked by chloee.222, milo_98, chrissturniolo, nicksturniolo, mattsturniolo and 937,899 others}
nicksturniolo in your rebel era ( i need you to get out of it you're going insane)
↳ arabellarey never i'm in my reputation era ❌
↳ nicksturniolo you've lost it 😞
↳ arabellarey WDYM
↳ nicksturniolo you're so hopeless 🤦♂️
user YOU SHOULDNT BE UNDERAGE DRINKING.
↳ arabellarey i do not partake in such activity's 🚫
↳ user what was in that glass then 😞
↳ arabellarey apple juice @chloee.222 can back me up
↳ chloe.222 she's right (she's so wrong)
↳ arabellarey meant to be on my side 🙁
chrissturniolo chloe looks so pretty in the last pic.
↳arabellarey ew stop (i totally agree, she's mine.)
↳ chrissturniolo NO.
↳ arabellarey sorry to break the news to you 😬
↳ chloee.222 it's true sorry dude
↳ user giggling
user OMG VAMPIRE IS ON REPEAT IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOURE VOICE
↳ arabellarey YOURE SO SWEET ILY.
↳ mattsturniolo comments so real
↳ nicksturniolo matt you can't be doing this
user MATTS COMMENT.
milo_98 you're so so so cool
↳ user new bf ??
↳ milo_98 my eyes are on nick 🏳️🌈
↳ arabellarey THATS SO CUTE @nicksturniolo
↳ nicksturniolo OMG MILO YOU CANT SAY THAT.
mattsturniolo you're so pretty.
↳ chrissturniolo bro.
user BOLD MATT IS THE BEST MATT
↳ arabellarey agree to disagree😞
snapchat
matt 🤭
| ⏹️ opened
bella 🤍
| matt.
matt 🤭
| what ?
| just staying what i'm thinking
bella 🤍
| you can't say shit like that
matt 🤭
| why not
bella 🤍
| we talked about this
matt 🤭
| i'm texting you so we're still distanced 🤷♂️
bella 🤍
| omg.
matt 🤭
| i can't stay away from you
| you know i can't baby
*read*
"oh. my. fucking. god." bella audibly said, she had woken up half an hour ago, with a massive headache and an instense feeling of dizziness which only became worse after texting matt. what the actual fuck? baby. he called her baby. she was screaming inside so much so that she she almost did out loud.
matt was being bold today, really bold and she liked it so much but she couldn't react, he's only doing this so he can mess with me as soon as my walls are down he's going to say some fucked up shit. she thought. god this was driving her crazy.
first calling her pretty, then snapping her with a jaw dropping picture of him and then calling her baby. he must be going insane because no one who hates someone that much calls them baby. he should not be doing this to her. she feels like driving over to him right now and..
her phone started ringing, for fucks sake now she had to pause thinking about matt. her manager, michelle's name flashed into her phone, strange. usually she's just email her about anything she needed to know.
"hello?"
"hey, i just want to inform you about something really big."
her excitement peaked up.
"yeah?"
"so harry styles was meant to go on snl tonight but had to cancel and now they want you."
"what the fuck, tonight?"
"yeah."
shit she really needed to get up and get herself and her hungover ass together.
"oh my god."
"i know, i'm so happy for you. someone will be there to pick you up and bring you to the plaza in the next hour., you're outfits all ready and chloe will be there to do you're makeup."
"okay thank you."
holy shit, her dream was actually coming true, she was performing on snl. her mind was no longer focused on matt, well, maybe a little but not as much as usual. she really needed to get herself together, she looked and felt hungover and if anyone saw in her in this state she would cry.
the thought of being hungover led her to start remembering a few things from the night before, she remembered matts face and she remembers being in the bathroom of the mansion she was in. she also remembers stumbling into her house with matt by her side. what? the way it all flooded in her mind brought her right back round to thinking about matt completely.
no. this isn't the time to think about matt. ignore the thoughts bella, ignore them. she shook her head as if to shake him him out of h and she made her way into the bathroom, washing her face with cold water and looking up into the mirror. she was still in her dress, unsurprisingly, she was very drunk last night and definitely did not have the abilities to get changed.
it wasn't just her dress she had on, a black hoodie she knew she had worn once before covered her top half, not again. she groaned internally. was she really that in need of help that matt had taken her home and given her his own hoodie, for the second time?
how sweet of him. no. she refused to believe it was him, it's nick, she told herself over and over again. it's better to be delusional in this situation, she had other things to worry about right now. like cleaning up her smeared makeup and getting changed into something else.
she went to check her phone, looking at recent messages from chloe, who seemed to have spammed her phone with messages about snl.
💌 imessages 🩷
chloe : bitch <3
bella : addict <3
bitch <3
BELLA OMG YOURE GOING ON SNL
AND IM DOING YOUR MAKEUP???
APPARENTLY EVERYONE ELSE IS INVITED
SHAKING FOR YOU.
SCREAMING AND CRYING
addict <3
IK IM SHAKING
I HAVE SOMETJING TO TELL YOU WHEN WE GET THERE
TREMBLING
ILY
oh she was so going to tell chloe about everything. they were so going to freak out about it together, there was no doubt about it. but for now she needed to hold it all in and throw something comfortable on and get ready to go. it was 2:30pm. no one could blamed her for getting up so late, i mean, she literally passed out on the bathroom floor in a fucking mansion.
matt was still grinning at his messages to bella, he was being so bold and he knew it. his heart was still bracing from when his finger pushed the send button and called her baby. it was so unlike him to that, but hey? he needed to get his point across.
his point being what?
that he completely and utterly likes bella.
he gets they need space but he's so sure that he likes her, one hundred percent sure, no doubt about it. and she needs to know that, she has to know it. his brothers has almost jumped him after his comment on her post because apparently he was being 'careless ' but whatever, she doesn't seem angry, or stressed about it, everything's fine right?
he only got happier when he was told they were going to see her sing, live. he knew she was going to sound incredible and he couldn't wait to hear it, she was literally so perfect. he had spent most of his time at the party last night, thinking of ways to show her he really liked her, some ideas were decent, some were okay and the others were really stupid. but after all the consideration of this he settled on flirting whilst also very slightly keeping distance so he didn't wind her up too much.
it was pretty easy so far, the flirting that is,but the whole part of slightly distancing was difficult, he knew how confusing he was being. he genuinly convinced himself that he hated her right after she left for brooklyn and came back a year later and not that he's thinking about it or anything.. but it was because she left without saying anything and it hurt, even if at the time he refused to admit feelings or whatever.
"matt i swear to god, you need to get ready, we're leaving in an hour, the drives pretty far and we need to be there early, hurry the fuck up. and if you flirt with bella i will murder you because the poor girl's going fucking crazy over you." nick barged in, who was already dressed up , a slight buzz of excitement radiating despite his threatening words.
"okay, calm down." matt replied, rolling his eyes. god couldn't people just leave him alone and let him think about bella? it was nice to know she was going crazy over him, he hoped it was a good crazy because his worst fear was driving her crazy in a bad way, which he had already been doing for the past four years and deeply regretted that he didn't show how he felt for her in a different way.
it was fun while it lasted i guess?
bella had just got into the car that had been sent to pick her up and damn it was fancy, like so fancy that she felt out of place sitting in it. there were sweets and snacks in little pots going across one side of what looked liked a mini limousine. she could really get used to this.
her phone dinged, and she picked it up. matt's name. another snap. what was it this time?
snapchat
matt 🤭
| ⏹️ opened
bella 🤍
| matt you have to stop.
| you need to figure out whatever the fuck you feel towards me, you know this matt
matt 🤭
| i know how i feel
| btw nick told me i'm driving you crazy
bella 🤍
| you are.
matt🤭
| yeah?
bella🤍
| NOT LIKE THAT.
| matt genuinely stop.
matt 🤭
| i'm sorry baby
bella 🤍
| MATT ENOUGH.
| DON'T CALL ME BABY.
matt🤭
| why not??
bella🤍
| 😐😐
she could not believe him, that annoying fuck, he admitted to liking her but she really couldn't trust it, yeah he promised he wouldn't argue or do anything like that and he hasn't so far but what if he was tricking her, winding her up?
she had spent most of the car ride to the plaza contemplating matt's feelings towards her, just like she had been since yesterday, she had to stop thinking about him. just for tonight so she doesn't mess up this important show. ugh this was all so complicated.
the car had pulled up and a series of people were standing outside, waiting for her. weird. she knew that her music release had made her incredibly popular but seeing actual fans waiting for her was shocking, the last time she checked her music video had over 30 million views, and counting which was so unbelievable it made her want to cry.
michelle was standing outside, waiting for her, smiling. she was only a few years older than bella and was really great at her job, she had practically sorted out her whole music video, single release and photoshoots.
just at the thought of her, michelle had opened the door for her, fans were screaming and it felt surreal, a deafening but totally sick experience. there was a rush to get her in, so much to her disappointment she couldn't really say hi to her fans, but managed to wave to them a little before running inside.
the outside of the plaza looked similar to a hotel, except that the inside looked quite the opposite, yeah there was a reception but a red carpet trailed into other rooms, there were frames of celebrities that had been here and bella was being ushered into a dressing room situated a floor above.
everything was such a rush and her hungover self really couldn't handle it all, she felt like throwing up. you can't throw up, you'll embarrass yourself. she managed to keep it in, barley, the only thing that slightly eased her was the sight of chloe and all her makeup supplies ready on the dressing table. "hey." bella said, taking a massive deep breath because it felt like she hadn't been able to breathe ever since she got here.
"hii." chloe smiled back, "you ready for makeup?" she asked, knowing that bella loved it when she did her makeup after the amount of times she out right said it. "yeah." bella was waiting till she started doing her makeup to tell her about matt's flirting, it was driving her mental and she needed to tell someone before she exploded.
"so what were you going to tell me?" chloe brought up, thank god, " matt texted me this morning, he sent me a snap saying 'you didn't respond to my comment' or something."
"oh?"
"and then i was like 'matt were distancing' wnd whatever and he said 'well i'm texting you so we're still distanced' "
"oh my fucking god."
"that's not even the worst fucking part, he then said 'i can't stay away from you, you know i can't baby' and even worse than that, i liked it" she let out a sigh.
"bella what the actual fuck matt is being so bold right now."
chloe had to stop doing bellas makeup to process the information, imagine how bella felt? "i know and i have no idea why."
"oh you should probably ask him about that.."
"chloe what are you saying?" bella started to panic, she was drunk last night and matt, based on what she gathered, had taken her back home (which she still wanted to smile and scream and cry about) and now there was a slight possibility she could've said something to him? not just something, like maybe admitting to liking him? it would only make sense..
"you ask him, all i'm gonna say is that you were pretty drunk last night."chloe responded, pressing her lips together as if to keep whatever happened stuck in her mouth. "oh my god." bella internally face palmed herself, she must've said something stupid to him and now he was acting all flirty with her. she wouldn't be complaining if only they weren't meant to be distanced, but she was lying, she'd complain either way because when matt flirts with her everything inside of her melts. and she loves it, even if she's not supposed to.
"i wouldn't worry, yeah you're spending time apart or whatever but i honestly think you should just admit feelings for one another, you guys slept in the same bed, both of you are so oblivious, god."
"how do you know about that?" nick wouldn't tell chloe, would he? he probably would, maybe he assumed chloe knew already. after all this chaos, she was never getting drunk again.
"oh, i just guessed, there was so much tension between you guys." chloe smiled at the thought of them together, they deserved to be happy together, bella deserved knowing matt doesn't hate her and matt deserved to know how much bella really likes him.
"oh."
"you're wearing his hoodie."
"i know." the hoodie was really big for her, only the top half of her fingers stuck out the sleeves and when she put the hood of it on, it covered half her face. and she liked it, she wishd she never had to return it, it was her favourite hoodie. even though if it wasn't really hers.
"you're so oblivious." chloe shook her head, carefully doing bellas makeup so it was perfect, it was her first time performing in front of actual people.
"don't give me false hope." bella smiled, she wanted it to be true so badly, that matt liked her, but he was messing her around, after all it was just like the lyrics out of one of her songs: 'call me friend but keep me closer"
"all done!"
chloe finished her makeup, and god did it look good, it was outfit time and bella simply couldn't wait, the only thing wrong was that she had to take off matts hoodie, which she absolutely didn't want to do but life carries on, what can she do about it?
" you are the fucking best." bella admired herself in the mirror, she could admit to herself that she did look really pretty. "i know i am." chloe smiled, a smug look painted on her face.
"one hour till you're on." michelle peeped her head into the makeup room, updating bella on the timing, wow it was so soon.
snapchat
🤠🤠
bella : fuck face
matt : mega mind
chris: chrizz
nick : nicolas
chloe: chl*e
fuck face
| GUYS ARE TOU HERE YET??
| IM PANICKING
chl*e
| it's true she's going crazy
nicolas
| we're so lost where are you
chrizz
| don't worry bella, breathe ‼️
fuck face
| kys
nicolas
| violence is never the answer 😥
fuck face
| anyways
| we're in the makeup room
chrizz
| LIKE THAT FUCKING HELPS
WHERW THE FUCK IS THE
MAKEUP ROOM??
fuck face
| calm down.
| i forgot what floor it's on
| but it says makeup room on the door
nicolas
| thanks for the help 😐
chloee
| just ask someone where it is idiot
after about 10 minutes, the triplets burst through the door, to a hyper ventilating bella; it was her first show, her first time singing in front of people, who wouldn't feel like dying? ok, maybe dying was an exaggeration but it was certainly close to what bella was feeling. the sight of matt had only made it worsen, she had to face him after all his flirting shenanigans.
"bella"nick sighed in relief, he was starting to lose his mind trying to find her. chris went straight over to chloe, a massive shock whilst matt stood there smirking as he watched nick tried to calm her down, she looked good in his jumper, he wished she could wear it more often.
"just breathe." nick kept repeating, also starting to panic at how panicked bella was, he was such an empath. "that's what i'm fucking doing dickhead." bella groaned annoyingly.
"you need to get changed girl." chloe ushered, which only made bella panick more, she really needed to calm down before she was going to spiral.
"shit." she looked at the triplets, urging them to get out so she could finally change, which she was probably meant to do like twenty minutes ago.
-
bellas nerves died down, a little. maybe a lot less then a little bit but she had somehow managed to convince herself she'll be completely fine. even though this was her first time performing and the fact that matt was in the audience.
she was finally making her way backstage, excitement was starting to take over, the very opposite to whatever was going on a few minutes ago. "hey." matts familar voice made her turn around and roll her eyes, he was not the best person to talk to right now.
"hi." she said bluntly, she was nervous he was going to end up flirting with her right in front of him, because if he did she might just-
"you look nice." he smiled,
"shut up." she rolled her eyes, in hopes to cover up the fact she was blushing stupidly, of course he just had to turn up and compliment her, right before she was mean to perform, she should have saw it coming.
"okay."
"thank god." bella sighed, turning around to walk away, at least he was listening to her for once.
"actually.." for. fucks. sake.
"what."
"what i really wanted to say is that you look cute in my hoodie." bella internally screamed.
"..and i think it's cute you like me." what the actual fuck, now was not the time, never was there going to be time for this. what was he thinking? what was she thinking getting drunk yesterday?
"what, no i don't."
"that's not what you said yesterday." matt grinned, seeing bella's face light up in embarrassment. "i didn't say anything yesterday."
"you did, right as we walking through you're front door, you were leaning on me and i was trying to tell you to walk and you kinda randomly blurted it out ."
"whatever i said doesn't matter because i was drunk, very drunk." she sighed, furrowing her eyebrows because how could she be so stupid.
"yeah but you know what they say, drunk words are sober thoughts." he looked at her amusingly, she was really blushing now. "well i guess that doesn't apply to me, does it?" she sighed, once again, he was really getting to her and it was making the butterflies in her stomach feel more like birds. "possibly." he locked eyes with her, he knew he was being bold, and he also knew that what he was doing right now could really mess them up, but it was going to be worth the risk right?
"but i think it does apply to you." his hands managed to sneak onto her hips, holy shit. the birds in her stomach were going ducking crazy right now as she tried not to blush too much. she placed her hands on his, this shouldn't be happening. she took his hands off , gently though, just so he knew she didn't totally despise it. "not now matt."
"when?"
"when you decide whether you like me or not." she sighed, how many times did she have to tell him. "oh my god, don't you fucking understand. i like you, there's not much more to say, god you're so oblivious." matt felt so incredibly relieved to get it out, only for his relief to be taken over by shock, he had just admitted he liked bella, not just to her but to himself too. it felt like he could finally take a breath now, he had never really got the chance to since he first met her years ago.
bella was stood, confused on what to say, there was so many different ways she could respond and it was all so confusing. "i know i'm being really bold today but what you said yesterday-"
"ignore what i said then. i was drunk, it doesn't matter." bella thought of what could have happened, whatever she said must've really made him change his mind to liking her.
flash back
"bella." matt's voice jolted her awake, she was in his car? in the front seat? why was she sitting where chris was meant to be? and why was matt undoing her seatbelt through the passenger car door? "what the fuck's going on?" she was sure she could hear the rest of his brothers and chloe muttering in the back of the van, probably about whatever state she was in now.
"you're drunk." matt replied, focusing on getting bella back into her house because she needed to be safe, not lying on the floor in a random bathroom, in a mansion where he had found her half an hour ago, completely passed out, she had slightly woken up when him and chloe had somehow managed to get her to walk to the car, just not awake enough to function and as soon as she hit the seat she fell right asleep.
"oh."
"use you're legs and get out the car." she followed the instructions, not very well, everything seemed to still be spinning, it was like she was stuck in a washing machine and it kept going and going.
one of matt's arms were wrapped around her waist and one of bella's arms were resting on his shoulders, the others watched in the car as they both hobbled over to her house, to matt it felt like hours of walking, making sure she wasn't going to trip. "can you at least try to walk?" matt complained, as her legs seemed to stop working halfway there.
"i am walking." she barley was, it was more dragging her feet then anything else. even amidst the chaos, matt still couldn't help but notice how pretty she was, even when drunk and hobbling like a fucking crazy person.
it was only when they got to the door that bella had begun ranting about things that didn't even make any sense, matt tried not to focus on whatever she was saying. that was until she started trying to flirt with him.
"matt you look pretty right now." this was really not the time to flatter him. she was so blinded by her drunk state she didn't even care. "you're drunk." matt replied, ignoring her because she wasn't in the right state of mind right now, and anything coming out of her mouth were just drunk words. except they were probably truthful. just like that quote says 'drunk words are sober thoughts'
"so? doesn't make me anymore blind." she grinned, ruffling his hair whilst he groaned in annoyance. "just shut up."
once they had finally made it into her room, which was a total mess by the way from her previous search for clothes. she went straight to her bed, ignoring the stirring sick feeling in her stomach, she couldn't be bothered to run to the nearest toilet, so sucking it up was the only choice. she shivered, her room window was wide open and she was only in a little black dress.
matt noticed how cold she was and instead of just getting her underneath the covers, he took his hoodie off, giving it to her, knowing he'd probably regret it in the morning when she woke up.
"matt?"
"yeah?"
"sober me is gonna hate this but i really like you."
present
oh so now all the memories of last night decide to flood through her mind, just as she's doing her first ever performance. no one has ever heard her sing properly, like in front of them and she was totally not ready.
"i need to to go." she apologised, it was about time for her to get to the stage and with whatever had just happened, she needed to tell nick. nick always knew what to do, his advice was always the best, no offence to chloe of course.
matt was left with a puzzled look as he watched her run off, maybe being bold was too much? or maybe they were both finally starting to realise they should hurry up and get together?
-
"nick!" bella called out as he was walking next to chris, pepsi in hand whilst he groaned in annoyance, probably because nick had said something he disagreed with.
"what?" nick saw the stressed look on her face, and assumed matt had done something considering he ran away from them a few minutes ago, he was in his flirting era and he needed to snap out of it before he'd cause something that would only make everything worse.
"are we just ignoring i'm here?" chris asked, he wasn't actually bothered about it, in fact he was used to bella grabbing nick and asking for help, it was fun because he'd get to hear all the gossip, it's practically how he knew chloe liked him back.
"yes." the both said in unison, bella barley managed to speak through her hyper ventilation, everything was chaos, her hangover had just worn off, matt was flirting with her, like what? and not to mention she was performing her own song to a room full of people?
"i may or may not have admitted to matt that i liked him." she spat out, a look of despair in her eyes because who wouldn't want to kill themselves in her situation? "what." nicks eyes widened as he stood speechless, she was so stupid. i mean at least he finally knows right? and then hopefully by some miracle they can get together?
"well when he dropped me back home yesterday i drunkenly told him." she cringed and internally face palmed herself, she spent a while now crushing on him, and it was all let out now because she was dumb enough to get drunk.
"oh." nick couldn't come up with anything to tell her, there was no erasing it from matts memory, she just had to suck it up. i mean, at least now she wouldn't have to hide the fact she had a crush on him, although it's probably not that good of a thing.
" don't just say oh you little fuck, help me." she rolled her eyes at nicks plain response, she would have slapped him but he'd most likely do it back and she was definitely not going to risk messing her makeup or hair.
"i think you're just going to have to live with it." nick scrunched his eyebrows, cringing at the whole situation, admitting you like someone whilst drunk does not sound like the perfect way to do it. especially to someone who used to hate you. bella was fucked.
"i can't deal with his flirting any longer, he called me baby earlier. baby. nick help me." she whined, chris giggling to himself next to them, this shit was funny as fuck. it was funnier because it was his own brother they were talking about, he also knew nick was probably going to tell him off about this later.
"oh."
"don't say oh again, i swear to god if i had a knife right know it would be the sturniolo twins." she groaned, walking away, it was about time for her to go on stage now and she needed to find michelle, otherwise she'd probably go insane looking for her and although michelle was the sweetest person ever, when she was stressed, it was better to avoid her at all costs.
"i'm going to kill him." she whispered under her breath, sucking on her tongue which she usually did whenever she was angry, at least she looked cute whilst in a mood to murder everyone around her.
it was probably best she calm down she thought.
everything will be fine
-
there was a loud cheer from the audience, considering it was only about 300 people in the audience. only 300.
she could do this right? she just had to
make sure everything would go perfect, so she wouldn't embarrass herself. not in front of everyone watching her, and of course much more specifically matt.
"ladies and gentleman the worlds newest popstar, arabella del rey." the host called out, as bella walked onto the stage, her ear monitor starting to play the first chords of vampire.
she ignored the thoughts of matt, and everything l from last night that had led to all the chaos. everything was forgotten the moment she started singing, like everything perfectly aligned for this few minutes.
-
the show finished just as soon as it begun, the crowd cheered, her friends clapped for her backstage, the lights dimmered but the ringing in her ear still continued and she wished it would never go away. everything was perfect in that moment, like every problem she ever had, disappeared.
sorry for the wait guys i had not motivation and then i left for egypt for a week.. i'm currently writing this whilst sitting on the floor in the corridor of my hotel room 🤗
anyways guys just wait, the angst is almost over for now...
ALSO GIYS FOLLOW MY PIBTEREST I POST DAILY AND IM GONNA BE POSTUNG A LOT MORE AUTUMN/STUDYING CONTENT ON IT, IM SO EXCITED BECAUSE FALL IS STARTING 😣
@angelkxss
don't mind the user i stuck with it in my coquette era last year and it's staying now 🙁