"where's taehyung and jungkook?" hoseok looked around the group, missing two, and questioned.
namjoon shrugged, "kook has been in his room all day and taehyung hasn't left the bathroom."
hoseok groaned, "i wish he would hurry up. i have to shit so bad."
jin hit his arm in disgust, "too much information, freak."
"oh seriously? you don't like me talking about my shit, but i have to deal with listening to you moan from namjoon?"
jin's cheeks turned bright pink as he hit hoseok again, now cuddling closer to namjoon, who chuckled.
"and what is going on with them?! they're looking at each other like they just found each other in the ocean or something." hoseok exclaimed as he stared at yoongi and jimin in horror, as they were ignoring everyone else and talking to each other lowly on the couch, their smiles as bright as a baby's.
"you're just mad you're single." namjoon rolled his eyes.
"whatever. seriously, though, what's going on with jungkook and taehyung? should we check on them?" hoseok asked with concern.
namjoon shook his head, "when they're ready to come out, they'll come out. i just have a feeling they don't want us to come to them."
"i wonder what they're doing." jin mumbled.
"do you think they got into a fight?" hoseok questioned and leaned back into the sofa.
namjoon and jin shrugged in response. hoseok then turned to yoongi and jimin, still too engrossed with each other to be paying attention.
hoseok groaned louder than necessary and walked to them to wave his hands in front of their faces, "hello?! if you bastards would talk to us, that would be great."
yoongi rolled his eyes as jimin chuckled, "what are y'all even talking about, hobi?"
"jungkook!"
"what about him?" yoongi rose his eyebrows.
hoseok crossed his arms, "he's been in his room all day. what's up with him?"
jimin shrugged, "i don't know. ask jungkook yourself."
"ask me what?"
the five males turned to see jungkook standing at the edge of the hallway, his hair messy and his expression tight, his eyebrow piercing still shining a beautiful glow.
"oh, there you are! are you okay? you've been hibernating in there and you haven't done that in a while. at least not since tae-"
"um, why don't i fix us dinner? we're all probably hungry." jin interrupted and glared at hoseok, who immediately shut his mouth.
"nice." jungkook tightly smiled and joined the rest on the sofa, choosing to sit by namjoon.
hoseok cleared his throat, "i'll go help jin."
namjoon tapped jungkook's thigh, "you okay?"
jungkook appeared to be distracted but he answered namjoon's question, "yeah, why wouldn't i be?"
namjoon shrugged, "you seem upset."
"why did you cut me off? i didn't say anything bad." hoseok whispered to jin, who was grabbing cans out of the pantry.
jin slammed the cans on the counter, "it's obvious him and taehyung are in some lovers quarrel. why did you bring him up, idiot?"
"how was i supposed to know that?" hoseok rolled his eyes.
"connect the dots hobi! it's like talking to a five year old with you sometimes." jin sighed and opened three big cans of beef stew, pouring them into a bowl.
"oh, you wound me." hoseok dramatically placed his hand over his heart.
as jin stuck the middle finger, hoseok felt compelled to ask, "so they really like each other then? like yoongi and jimin type like?"
jin sighed, "i don't know. they give each other these looks like they're obsessed with each other but i think they're just fucking. i don't really know."
"let's ask!"
jin grabbed a knife and pointed at hoseok's temple, "no."
hoseok shuddered, "jesus, i was joking."
jin shoved hoseok back, "have everyone fix the table, including a plate for taehyung. i'll go get him."
hoseok cheekily smiled, "ai yi captain!"
jin playfully rolled his eyes and placed down the contents in the bowl and walked to the bathroom, hesitantly knocking on the door.
a few seconds later, the door opened to reveal taehyung, whose eyes were red and cheeks wet.
"sorry, did you need the bathroom? i'll leave." taehyung noticed jin's worried look and tried quickly to walk out the bathroom, but was stopped.
jin grabbed his arms, "taehyung, what's going on?"
taehyung smiled, a smile jin knew, awfully too well, was fake.
"nothing, i promise. i just hit myself really hard on the sink." taehyung wiped his face and eyes, pulling away from jin.
jin didn't say anything in reply but instead looked at taehyung, observing his actions. he was obviously upset, but jin couldn't push him to tell him the truth.
he smiled instead, "come on. i'm fixing beef stew and crackers."
taehyung nodded and followed jin to the kitchen, ignoring namjoon and hoseok's gaze. jungkook didn't look at him, which he suspected would happen.
"hey taehyung!" hoseok ran to his side and pulled him into a hug, making taehyung make an oof sound.
"hobi, you always act like you haven't seen me in years."
"well, i haven't seen you in a few hours. i was worried."
jungkook ignored the conversation between jin, hoseok, and taehyung. when he heard taehyung's voice, it made him angry. he had to control himself.
but, it wasn't even taehyung he was mad at.
he was mad at himself. for being stupid enough to say how he felt to someone who obviously just sleeps around. for confessing his feelings to someone he just met.
he felt stupid and he hated feeling stupid.
"jungkook?" namjoon glanced at his clenched fists.
jungkook took a deep breath and exhaled, "sorry. what's going on with them? they look closer than usual."
he nodded to yoongi and jimin, who were exceptionally close to one another on the other couch.
"maybe they realized they love each other. finally, those idiots." namjoon chuckled.
even though he didn't want to admit it, jungkook was jealous. not jealous of yoongi and jimin per say, but their ability to love each other.
when will he find someone to love? someone that will love him?
he used to not believe in true love. he always figured it was a stupid fairytale. but after living with his family, he noticed that that's maybe not the truth.
it was obvious around him that there was love, that true love existed. between jin and namjoon, and yoongi and jimin, their fate was basically written in the stars.
would he find a fate like that?
he didn't know why he's been thinking so much about love recently. he used to not care for it, or accepted that it was never going to happen to someone like him.
it was almost like taehyung completely rearranged his thoughts and feelings.
"let's eat guys!" jin announced, finishing pouring the beef stew into seven bowls and grabbing a pack of stale saltine crackers.
"i love beef stew. thanks, jin." yoongi gratefully acknowledged and sat down, right next to jimin.
jin acted surprised, "thanks? you're so nice today, yoongi."
"did jimin give you the best ride of your life or something? why are you so happy?" hoseok teased.
"hoseok, i will kill you." jimin glared and threw a cracker at him.
"hey, don't throw food! we have to save everything, and i mean everything!" jin scolded, reminding everyone of a father.
taehyung looked at the table to see the seats. namjoon, jimin, and yoongi sat on one side of the table. jin sat at the head.
hoseok was sitting on the other side, with jungkook beside him, and taehyung realized the last seat left was the one by jungkook.
great.
he sat down, ignoring the obvious tension between him and the latter and started to eat his food.
"i was gonna go outside later and scout the area, just to make sure there aren't any biters or people roaming around. who wants to come with me?" yoongi asked before shoving a spoonful of stew in his mouth.
"i'll go." jimin declared, before anyone could think.
"of course you will, lover boy." hoseok joked.
"can we all talk about how annoying hoseok is?" yoongi rolled his eyes.
hoseok dramatically gasped, "you're evil, yoongi. just evil! when i find someone, the most beautiful and amazing person ever, i'll make sure we leave to go live in france and eat croissants with pale gnomes who actually appreciate us."
jin scoffed, "the day someone decides to get hitched with you is the day every biter in the world will disappear."
hoseok flung a potato at jin, who quickly dodged it.
"so you're gay, hobi?" taehyung asked, feeling like he should maybe talk to stop his thoughts about jungkook from roaming.
hoseok leaned over jungkook, "why? do you want to get with me?"
all the boys at the table groaned, excluding jungkook and taehyung. taehyung rolled his eyes and laughed.
"what?" hoseok shrugged.
"honestly, that's a great idea!" jungkook slammed his hands on the table, making everyone flinch.
jin placed down his cup of water in curiosity, watching something he recognized flicker in jungkook's eyes.
"uh, jungkook?" hoseok whispered to his side.
jungkook feigned confusion, "what?"
he then turned to taehyung on the side of him, who looked ready to run out of the room in about five seconds. "i mean, taehyung here can pull anyone he wants. just get with him hoseok. he'll love it."
taehyung watched jungkook's eyes flicker and hung his head in shame. he didn't know what to say. jungkook was angry with him and that was on him.
but, he could live with it. he could live with jungkook hating him. as long as jungkook didn't like, or love him, he was content.
and he couldn't love jungkook. he would never fall in love with jeon jungkook or anyone for that matter.
"isn't that right, taehyung?" jungkook questioned again, his lips pulled together as if he was holding himself back.
taehyung took a deep breath and placed down his spoon, folding his hands in his lap.
he stared at his lap, hoping that if he was silent long enough, this dinner would pass by and jungkook would stop looking at him.
besides, what could he say? jungkook had every right to be upset with him and he figured anything he could say would make it worse.
taehyung was shaking, he realized. his hands would not stop trembling. he held them close together, trying to keep himself together.
namjoon cleared his throat loudly, "well... um, did i ever tell you guys about the time a crab punched me?"
"punched or pinched?"
"punched."
as the group finally broke out into a discussion, taehyung felt relief wash over him. he was glad he was with people that understood tension and didn't ask too many questions about it.
jungkook was silent the rest of the time, but he wasn't eating. taehyung noticed his foot tapping and his fists clenched.
he wanted to reach out and hold his hand. he wouldn't ever do that, though. but, in a perfect world, he would gladly hold the hands of jeon jungkook in an attempt to calm him down.
as the dinner went on, the pair remained silent. taehyung felt compelled to stay silent, afraid that if he said anything, his voice would tremble or jungkook would explode at him.
jungkook couldn't speak. he knew that if he spoke, he would regret it. he was just so irritated and he didn't know why kim taehyung was affecting him like this.
he was just some man. some man they let in under their roof. no one special.
and yet, jungkook felt like he was special. something about this man made jungkook feel things he's never felt before.
every time he looked at taehyung, he wanted to talk to him. only him. he wanted to fuck him, he wanted to hold him until he showed jungkook all of his emotions. he wanted to get to know him more.
he wanted to be with him, only him.
but, taehyung didn't want that. no, he definently made that clear.
what pissed him off was the fact that taehyung called him a pathetic punk because of his feelings.
he abruptly stood up, silencing everyone and gaining their attention. he felt taehyung stiffen next to him, but he didn't care.
he forced a smile, "thanks for the dinner, jin. it was good, but i'm full. i'm just gonna go in my room for the rest of the day."
"but you were in there for forever? you don't want to stay with us?" hoseok questioned after he gulped down some sips of water.
jungkook threw a quick glance to taehyung, who wasn't looking at him, but instead at his lap.
"i don't feel good." he lied and exited the spot to save his dishes, then walked to his room and closed the door.
he sighed and walked to his bed, running his fingers through his black hair.
he reached under his bed to pull out his special journal, the one where he writes all of his lyrics in.
if he didn't want to face his feelings or talk to anyone, he could write. he was good at it. he just wrote and the lyrics seemed to just flow out of him.
and for some reason, he had a feeling he had a lot to write.
--
"i think that one has a huge pus bubble on the side of its neck."
jimin gagged as he sunk his knife into the biter's skull, watching it collapse on the ground. he walked back to the house, closing and locking the gate behind him.
"was that the last one?" yoongi asked after lowering his gun to stop checking out the scope.
they were checking to make sure no biters got too close to the house. and if they did, they killed them. biters broght noise and they didn't want a herd knocking on their door one day.
"yep." jimin replied and stood by yoongi's side, their shoulders touching.
"i'm happy." yoongi said, turning his head sideways to look at the man he loved.
"i am too." jimin smiled, feeling like every time he looked at him, he fell in love all over again.
ever since their confessions, they were inseparable. they just felt giddier and happier, and so light. it was as if a great big weight was lifted off their shoulders.
"taemin would be happy for you." yoongi reached for jimin's hand to hold it, jimin letting him.
jimin tore his eyes away and stared past the gate, taking a deep breath. "he would be happy for all of us."
"but especially you. you were his favorite, chim."
jimin smiled, a smile filled with such longing, but with happiness. "he was like the brother i never had. i miss him. i miss him all the time."
yoongi pulled jimin into his embrace, kissing his forehead. "i know."
as jimin let yoongi hold him, he suddenly started to feel uneasy. he looked past yoongi's body to the trees surrounding the area. he swore he saw movement in the trees.
"hold on." jimin pulled away and slowly walked to the gate, his knife held in his hand.
"what's going on?" yoongi questioned, his gun raising with protection.
"just wait there." jimin called back, still steadily walking to the gate.
he reached it and investigated the trees. there was no more movement. a light breeze swept the branches of the trees and he let out a sigh of relief.
he calmed himself down and walked back to yoongi, who was looking past him at the trees.
"it was nothing. i just thought..."
"what?"
"i thought i saw something, that's all. just the wind, i guess." jimin shrugged and interlocked his hand into yoongi's.
yoongi nodded, "let's go back inside. the sun sets soon."
--
taehyung sat on the living room couch for what felt like hours, just staring out the window and feeling mesmerized by the orange glow that seeped through the glass.
he was filled with thoughts. so many thoughts and it was honestly making his head hurt.
"hey, taehyung."
he turned his attention to hoseok, who was walking towards him. he smiled at seeing the man he's gotten real close to this past month.
"hey, hobi. you missed the sunset."
he plopped down next to taehyung, leaning back onto the sofa, "it's okay. i was always more of a sunrise person anyway."
taehyung nodded and leaned back onto the sofa, staring ahead of him at the wall.
"i'm sorry if i seem so.... overbearing all the time. i hope i'm not overwhelming you." hoseok turned his head on the couch to look at taehyung.
taehyung rose his eyebrows and turned his head to hoseok, "what? why would you ever think that?"
hoseok shrugged, "i'm always talking to you and hugging you. i just feel like i'm always bothering you."
taehyung playfully rolled his eyes, "hobi, if you bothered me, i would try to get out of every conversation with you. you are like the closest person in this house to me. i'm grateful for you."
hoseok smiled, "really?"
taehyung sat up in surprise, "yes! i hope this hasn't been bothering you. everyone loves you, hoseok. who couldn't?"
hoseok tensed at the question and tore his eyes away, staring ahead of him.
fuck! i did it again.
"you can talk to me. only if you want to, of course." taehyung placed a comforting hand on hoseok's arm.
hoseok exhaled a long breath, "i'm glad you stayed with us taehyung. you're very nice."
"really? just nice?" taehyung teased.
hoseok chuckled, "no, not just nice. but, i just like nice people. this house is filled with nice people and i've grown to care about everyone so much."
taehyung nodded and sensed there was more to be said. he decided to stay quiet and let hoseok speak, whenever he was ready.
hoseok's bright smile seemed not so bright anymore, "i didn't have the... best life before the outbreak. my, uh, parents were abusive. very abusive."
taehyung's lips parted in shock, "i'm so sorry, hoseok."
hoseok shrugged, "it's fine. i never thought i would get over it, to be honest. that kind of shit traumatizes people, y'know? i just never understood how parents could hate their child like that."
"i had therapy sessions. they were useless. i mean, my parents never changed so it was like listening to shrinks for suggestions just to go back to the same thing every day... just beatings. it never got better."
he started to play with his fingernails, "but, then the outbreak happened. everything changed. i saw them dead and you know how i felt? i was relieved. i felt sick to my stomach about it, but i was relieved. because i knew, even if i had to fight for myself for the rest of my life, i would never have to deal with them again. i will never have to listen to them tell me how much they despise me. i won't have to endure their beatings."
taehyung didn't even realize the tears scrolling down his own cheeks. he hated those parents. he never understood how people could bring a child into the world only to hate and hurt them.
he wished hoseok got the best life. he deserved it.
"eventually, i found everyone else. we all just sort of clicked? it was crazy because i was so suicidal before, but when i met everyone, i never thought about killing myself again." he dryly chuckled, "i finally met good people and i felt complete."
he stared at his fumbling hands, "i think that's why i get attached to people so easily. i care so much about you guys, even if i just met everyone, because i've never cared for anyone like that before. and no one's ever cared for me like that before."
"of course, it's unfortunate for everyone who lost important people from this outbreak. but, i'm glad i lost my people. it helped me move on and it helped me find people i love. i would rather be born into this world than go back to my previous life. even if i got ripped to shreds by biters, i would die with a smile on my face because i know i'm not with my parents anymore."
he sighed and looked back at taehyung, "i'm free."
taehyung couldn't help himself and pulled hoseok into a hug, clinging tight to him as if he was scared to let him go. he rubbed hoseok's back and whispered into his ear, "and you deserve that freedom. i'm sorry you had to go through that. you are one of the strongest people i know."
he pulled away and gave a warm smile to hoseok, who smiled back.
taehyung then realized that this was his new family, whether he liked it or not.
and he would do anything to protect them. including jungkook, even if he didn't want to feel that way.
anything.