"Hey kid, how long have you been here?" Joe asked when I came down the stairs.
"Uh.. just got here." I laughed.
"Really? I didn't see your car outside.."
"I parked somewhere else. Just.. wanted to surprise T but he's getting ready."
"I didn't even hear the bell.." Joe wondered.
I decided to change the subject. "So, what's for breakfast?" I sat down at the island table.
"Oh, you think you can stay for breakfast now?"
"Yes, I do. I'm.. giving Timothy a ride to school so.. consider it payment. Gas."
Joe laughed. "Right, so that's how it works now. I see." He shook his head and went into the kitchen. "Pancakes or waffles?"
"Both."
Joe began cooking and again I felt at peace. Everything about being here relaxed me. I thought of never leaving and it seemed too good to be true. An ultimate dream.
"How are things at home, pal?" Joe asked. He focused on the cooking. I was glad he couldn't see my face right now.
When he looked at me I had my mask perfectly in place. "Fine. Just normal."
"It's just you and your dad, right? Do you guys spend a lot of time together?"
The pattern on the floor suddenly became very interesting. "He works a lot."
"I see. Must be pretty hard not always having him around."
I wished that was the problem. I wished he wasn't always around. Drunk, yelling or sleeping. Just seeing him made me sad.
"It's okay." I answered.
Joe looked into my eyes. He didn't say anything for a long time. I couldn't hold his gaze for very long.
"Hey," Joe squeezed my arm. I looked into his genuine eyes. "You can always stop by, alright?"
He knew something was up. And more than just my dad working a lot. The fact that he cared enough to notice made me feel seen somehow. I nodded.
"Thanks."
He slapped my arm and turned back to the stove.
T came into the room and looked surprised and then confused to see me.
"I'm giving you a ride to school." I said.
"Oh."
"You could at least pretend to happy about it."
"Thank you." Timothy said, sitting next to me.
"Morning, kid." Joe said.
I rested my arm on Timothy's chair. He side glanced at me before greeting his dad.
"I thought you were sneaking out." Timothy whispered when his dad continued cooking.
"He saw me. I had to make something up."
"Well, Charlie is giving me ride to school, so-"
"No, he's not. You can cancel him."
Timothy looked at me like I was crazy.
I leaned in a little closer. "Or I could tell your dad about your.. sexual adventures." I whispered.
Timothy began to blush. "When are you gonna let that go?"
"When you dump that freak. Text him." I demanded.
T grabbed his phone.
"What are you two whispering about?" Joe asked, putting two plates of food in front of us.
One plate was piled with waffles and the other with pancakes. The aroma was delightful.
"Just some school stuff." I chuckled.
Timothy looked slightly distressed.
I smacked his back. "Right, T?" I pressed my teeth together in a smile, though my voice was demanding.
"R-right.." He agreed quickly.
I read T's phone from over his shoulder.
You: u don't have to bring me to school today
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖊<3: y not???
You: ill explain later
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖊<3: wth? is everything okay?
You: yes, don't worru
You: worry*
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖊<3: ofc im worried
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖊<3: i always drive u 2 school
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖊<3: babe?
What a little bitch. Immediately worried just because Timothy was catching a ride with someone who wasn't four years older than him.
"A little controlling, don't you think?" I mumbled when Joe went into the kitchen to grab some toppings.
"Stop reading my texts!"
"Someone has to talk some sense into you."
"Well, you shouldn't be the one to do it since you make no sense."
"Of course I do!"
"Cause climbing into someone's window past midnight and demanding they read you poetry makes complete sense!"
"I couldn't sleep and it was your fault, okay?"
"How was it my fault you couldn't sleep?!"
Because your whole being is haunting me! I can't close my eyes without seeing your face!
Goddamn, that sounds so gay! And again with the questions!
"Shut up!" I pushed him lightly.
Surprisingly, this time he pushed me right back. I felt nothing but still, an eye for an eye.
I leaned forward when Joe held us apart. "Hey, hey, hey, enough of that! Now, what's going on?"
"Nothing, dad." Timothy sighed, turning away.
"Joe, I think there's something you should know."
Joe looked very concerned.
"Josh, stop-"
"It's about him and Charlie, actually. They've been spending a lot of time together lately. So much so that-"
Someone rang the doorbell, interrupting my speech.
Joe sighed.
"I'll be right back." He walked out of the kitchen.
"What's the matter with you?!" Timothy began.
I shrugged. "He's your dad. I think he should know what's been going on with you. Or should I say inside you."
"Josh, it's not funny."
"I think it's pretty damn hilarious, actually."
"Look, I'll do whatever you want, okay?"
Timothy's pleading eyes softened my heart. And then those magic words..
"Whatever I want? Anything?" I smirked.
"Yes."
He was desperate. Nice. That was exactly what I wanted. I began to think of things. Unspeakable things that I wanted from him. I judged myself for it but pushed those thoughts away.
"Oh, now I see why you were acting so strange!" Charlie said when he stomped into the room. He was glaring at me. "He's not giving you a ride! Over my dead body!"
"Speaking of dead bodies, you already look the part so you have that going for you." I said.
"Shut the fuck up, airhead!"
"Airhead? Who's the one so stupid he can't even finish public high school?" I mocked.
Charlie actually looked angry enough to punch me, which in fact he did.
Even though he barely looked strong enough to stand, he had a mean punch.
Sadly enough, the moment I got up to retaliate, Joe pushed his way between us as he'd done before.
"What is going on here?!" He roared.
"Charlie is having anger issues again." I shrugged.
"You're a fucking liar!" Charlie pushed me, only strengthening my point. I smirked.
"Hey, hey! Stop it!" Joe pulled Charlie back.
"He's just trying to get on my nerves!" Charlie screamed.
"All I did was offer T a ride to school.." I pretended to be innocent. Charlie looked even angrier.
I was secretly kind of happy Joe was holding him back. Not that he was strong enough to actually hurt me, but I didn't want to end up in another fight since once I started it was sort of hard to stop and the last thing I needed was to cause another person medical care.
"That's bullshit!" Charlie raged.
Timothy kept his mouth shut but he looked conflicted and sort of tired. If I wasn't sorta blackmailing him he'd probably have defended his boyfriend already.
"Look, whatever happened, violence is never the answer." Joe said.
"I don't wanna hear that crap from a butcher!" Charlie rolled his eyes.
"They're goddamn animals!" Joe exclaimed annoyed.
"Yeah, and you're a murderer." Charlie crossed his arms.
Joe groaned.
"T, we should be heading to school." I got up.
"He's not going with you!" Charlie raised his voice.
"Timothy's old enough to make his own decisions." Joe sighed. "It's up to you, kid."
Timothy looked very uncomfortable with everyone looking at him now.
He glanced at me. I couldn't hide my smugness.
He sighed and gave his boyfriend an apologetic look. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Are you kidding?" Charlie was angry and confused. Perhaps I was enjoying this a bit too much.
Charlie shook his head and walked off. "Don't bother!" He said over his shoulder.
✪
T was very quiet on our ride to school and he did look.. very sad too. I felt a little guilty and I thought of everything Joe told me about Timothy, his past and his melancholy.
"You can stop acting so sad now." I sighed. "He's a little bitch if he cries this much when he doesn't get his way."
Subtle.
"You don't always have to give him what he wants." I tried after a while.
"I don't wanna disappoint him. And you shouldn't have pushed his buttons like that!"
"Well, he was acting all possessive. I had an allergic reaction."
Timothy pulled his leg up on the seat. "You just like drama."
"I don't!"
"You almost blinded someone on the first day of school."
"The dude was fine!"
"You never own up to anything, do you?"
I rolled my eyes. "I just never do anything wrong," I shrugged.
Timothy banged his head against the car seat.
I chuckled and slowed down. We had no shared classes today and I wanted to stretch this moment with him for as long as possible.
"Why are you going so slow?"
"I don't wanna get a speeding ticket." I shrugged.
"But-"
"Stop with the questions again! You can't even drive, so zip it!"
"We're gonna be late."
"Sounds like a you-problem."
"You think my dad will like that?"
"Your dad loves me. I can't do wrong in his eyes." I smirked. "Just get used to it; from now on I own you."
"Which means?"
"Which means, I can do whatever I want." And I wanted a lot of things. Some of the more disturbing things I tried to forget.
"Well, I hope it makes you happy." T was ever so indifferent. I placed my arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. The sudden change of position made him put his hand on my lap for balance.
"What the..?"
I liked the feeling of his shoulders in my hands. His hand on my leg. I liked touching him. It was more exciting to me than being with Jennifer had been. I pushed away the truth and tried to convince myself it was because I liked to control him. That this had nothing to do with how much I enjoyed the scent of his excessive hairspray, the big, blue clarity of his eyes or the gentleness of his touch and his presence.
This wasn't about him. He was the afterthought. I liked control and he offered it to me. That was all. The butterflies in my stomach were not because of how his eyes bore into my skin questioningly. I just wanted to own something. That was all he was. He was a little brother.. Not even, A pet.