Those who know, do. Those who understand, bide their time.
Year 6
———————
Vader
She walks one step behind me and to my right, the perfect spot, without me even telling her to.
I do not want to be doing this. Presenting Kitten to my master is the last thing I want to do, but if I continue to hide her, the more his suspicions will grow. Sure, I've replayed this moment over in my mind a hundred times, but there are two variables that I can't predict.
Palpatine and Kitten. They can both be predictable—but each has proved me wrong in the past.
I can hear the thrumming of her heart, and remember what it felt like pulsing against my own heartbeat. Then, I remember her unconscious body, the fear she feels with Vader, and I harden. The darkness swims faster in my veins, pulling me under. I have hurt her, done horrible things, lied to her. I remind myself of every offense I've ever done to her.
"Master," I say with utter calm. Palpatine knows of my double identity, knows I only unmask for this woman. It is dangerous, but lying would be even worse.
"I present to you the head of security of Fortress Vader, Kat Velez." I do not lift my head, merely motioning toward her.
In the corner of my eye, I see both of her knees hit the black floor, see her hair skim her fingertips as she bows so low that she is practically lying down. My one knee suddenly seems inefficient. Of course Kitten knows how to serve; she serves me, after all.
"My Emperor," she breathes, a sound that somehow holds reverence and fear.
"Rise," he says after two excruciating minutes. We do, and when his hand waves in dismissal, I take two steps back until Kitten now stands at his feet. Alone. And I hate myself for putting her in this situation. My hate only increases my grasp on the dark side.
His chin lifts enough for two-thirds of his face to be revealed, and his eyes lock on hers. Her jaw is high enough to allow her to meet his gaze, and I wish I could see her face. I have no doubt she is unflinching.
Kitten has guts. I feel her fear and discomfort, her confidence waning. But still, she does not droop. She fears Vader, but she is smart enough to know she is standing on a new line. She needs to please him without drawing unnecessary attention to herself.
"Your father was no friend to the Republic," he finally says.
"No, Your Excellency. He wasn't." She doesn't try to defend him. Doesn't tell him that her father would have continued his service for the Empire. She simply agrees. As she should.
He stares. For a long time.
"He tried to hide your abilities."
"That is what I have come to understand."
"Why?"
"I believe he hoped to spare me from working for higher powers." His lips split into a foul smile.
"It would seem he failed."
"I'm not sure he could have predicted this, my lord. But yes."
He stares at her, his eyes flicking to me briefly. How long has it been since he's seen my face? Years.
"You have saved my apprentice's life on multiple occasions. If you want to honor your father and leave your position, you have earned your freedom."
A test. One that is just as much for her as it is for me. I do not flinch, do not allow my thoughts to wander.
I didn't know what she would say, but as always, she does not disappoint me.
Her head bows deeply. "I am not my father. I loved him dearly and tried to respect his wishes. But I am your servant, my lord. As I am Lord Vader's." Her eyes rise back to his. "While you both breathe, my life is the Empire's."
I could have sworn his eyes shined. He fucking loves undying servitude. And apparently, he feels no deceit from her. Then again, neither do I.
"A noble sacrifice. I have been informed that you do indeed possess some of his skills."
"I don't think I am quite as clever as my father, but I understand his work." This pisses me off for reasons that aren't easy to explain away. She's so damn smart. If she would just accept that, she would do incredible things.
"And you can help my apprentice? I have been worried. I've been unable to find people like your father. If something goes wrong with his cybernetics, there is no one to fix them."
She nods slowly. "Yes, Emperor. I will do what is asked, so your apprentice may continue to rule under you." His lips crack into another smile, smaller this time.
"Yes, see to it that you do. Tell me. How have Vader and Anakin been treating you?"
She hesitates, and though I can't be sure, I think it is a calculated pause. As if she is remembering the abuse, the terror.
"It has taken me time to learn how to properly serve them, sir."
He lets out a short cackle in response. "Since you were young at the beginning of Vader's reign, you received more chances than most." Wrong. She's never disappointed me. "I'm pleased to see how much you've evolved under his leadership. But..." he pauses dramatically, letting his lips curl. "How can I be sure you won't harm Skywalker?"
"I'm not sure, Your Excellency. Of course, fear for my life plays a factor. But I'm not confident fear is the most efficient way to earn someone's loyalty, so I hesitate to offer that as my reason."
"Then what is the reason?"
She pauses again, and somehow, I know she is going to say something foolish. I sense that even she knows it.
"Have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome?"
Palpatine blinks—I don't know when I've ever seen him blink. Not since he became Emperor. Then, his lips curve slowly into a grin before he throws his head back and cackles into the dim throne room. I allow myself a small chuckle, but I find no humor in her joking to my master.
His laughter stops, and I sense his next move but force away my knee-jerk reaction to defend her. She floats into the air and her tightened body moves closer to my master. I don't dare move or let myself think. The fear Palpatine is searching for blooms inside her like a midnight flower.
"I presume you understand how important your job is. Protect Darth Vader's home. Assist Anakin's medical needs. These tasks are some of the most critical in our galaxy. Failure will mean your life."
She chokes out something unintelligible.
"What was that, girl?"
"I-I understand," she croaks. "With my life."
"Good," he says, elongating the word before dropping her. She doesn't try to stop herself from falling to her knees, but to my surprise, she easily shifts into another bow. So submissive, my little Kitten. Palpatine takes a moment to observe her, and I wish like hell I knew what he was thinking.
He waves his hand, his black cloak fluttering with the motion. "Dismissed. But Anakin?" He drawls the word with a sickly sweetness, making my stomach churn with memories.
"Yes?" Reluctantly, I bow my head as I speak, rather than standing tall and meeting his eyes like I want to.
"Be sure to tell Vader to come see me soon."
"Yes, Master," I say with a more convincing bow. Kitten takes that moment to stand, never touching the floor to help herself up. No weakness.
Palpatine makes the same dismissive motion, so I turn on my heels, the heat of Kitten close beside and behind me.
———
I keep my mind empty until I'm on the shuttle and the door is secured. Even then, I'm prepared to wait until I'm far from here to fully think about this visit.
"Oh!" she exclaims behind me. I turn to see what has caught her attention, amused to see her slip into the cargo hold. She must have noticed the deliveries.
I follow after her and watch with a small smile as she walks around the crates, reading their contents. I may have gone a little overboard.
She's impressed, which is satisfying. She never asks for everything she wants, but this time, since I know her goals, I added what I assumed she hadn't. Tools that are expensive but will make her work much easier.
"You must understand these tools if you knew what attachments to get me." I cock an eyebrow at her. Sometimes I forget she knows so little about me.
"I do." Kitten's eyes find mine and they're shining with excitement. She doesn't let Annie in her lab when she's working, so I don't get to see her in that form, but I am aware she's a clever little mechanic.
"Are you the one who approves my requests?"
"Yes." I've approved every request she has ever sent.
"And you add stuff I don't ask for?"
I smile, pleased when she looks at my mouth. She always seems surprised when I smile, even after today's easy moments. "You try to be modest in your requests, but money is no issue, Kitten. I try to give you what I think you'll need." My grin grows. "You're not on the Separatist base anymore. You don't need to use every spare part."
"You like to tinker?" she asks. Is she trying to guide the conversation away from her or trying to understand me more?
I shrug. "Sure." I used to, at least.
"It's peaceful, seeing how things connect and making broken things work again."
I snort in amusement because I disagree. "It doesn't feel peaceful when I can't find the right size wrench or when I can't get a kriffing part off."
She laughs at the tiny invasion into my mind.
"Okay, I see what you mean," she says with a final chuckle before heading back to the cockpit. I stop her though, gripping her arm. Her heart flutters as my eyes slice through her.
"Thank you, Kitten." For existing. For caring for me. For stepping out of her comfort zone for me.
She nods, looking stunned. We locked eyes for too long before I finally drop her arm and go to start the ship. She doesn't follow for a moment.
We hit hyperspace, and Kitten watches me as I scan my datapad with a frown. I have a ton of messages, and some of them are less than pleasing. I feel her come to a conclusion and watch in my peripherals as she picks up her book and goes into the back.
It takes me an hour to sort through all the messages and send the required responses.
I toss the datapad onto her abandoned chair and go to the back to find her. She's lying on the bed in the captain's quarters, fast asleep on her stomach.
I can't help but be proud of her. She impressed me with Palpatine. And she's so respectful of me. I'm positive she wandered off because she hoped to give me privacy while I worked. Part of me is rather surprised she didn't object to riding me in the captain's chair since she doesn't think this is my shuttle. After all, she made me buy a new chair the last time something similar happened. She yelled at me! It still makes me chuckle.
When will it click? When will my double life be exposed? Honestly, I expected Palpatine to expose me, if not just for the drama it would cause.
She'll hate me. I know this. She has an unhealthy fascination with my masked form, but when she discovers I've spent years lying to her, she will hate me. It's why I can't let her find out. I need this side of her.
She keeps me in the dark. Just like in my master's throne room, all I have to do is remember her bleeding on one of my balconies, shoeless and her mind fractured, and I feel it coming back. The hate, the rage.
But she also drags me away from it, like right now, with her sleeping soundly in one of my many beds. What kind of person holds such loyalty to a man who won't even show her their face? She would choose Vader over me, I think.
I don't know why. But I think, deep down, it's because she knows. Her subconscious has already noted the similarities between my two forms. How could it not? A woman who notes every detail about every room she enters? A woman who was smart enough to know that, despite her own fear, she needed to bow to the Emperor before it was too late?
It's the whole reason I try not to come to her like this. She'll figure it out eventually. I fight the urge to find her almost daily. But I cannot always win. The darkness is heavy, and sometimes, I need her to lift it off my shoulders, even for a night. I need to see her smile, to know that she's still breathing, still mine.
And sometimes, I just want to love her.
———
Kat
I wake up to his voice and rub my eyes. Realizing I'm in an unfamiliar bed, I jerk up, only to see him leaning in the doorway with a smirk.
"Sorry I missed our appointment. But I have things to take care of." I frown, trying to understand if I forgot an appointment—then realize he means sex on the return trip. I chuckle in my sleepy haze and scoot to the end of the bed.
"That's alright. Are we back?"
He nods. "Unfortunately we'll be postponing our work together. Vader and I must leave."
"Okay. Do you know when you'll be back?"
"You know that I don't, Kitten. Come," he says, holding out his hand to help me up.
"Someone will bring your tools to you. When I get back, we'll meet on the 4th floor. The rest of the equipment will be stored there until we need it."
"Okay."
"Vader wanted me to tell you that he watched the incident reports on his crash. He said you did well. I believe it's his way of thanking you for saving his life."
I nod because I'm not sure what to say.
"You did, you know that right?"
"The TIE pilot saved his life, Anakin."
"Kitten," he says, gripping my chin. "There were many points where it was your decisions that prevented disaster. If you hadn't been in the command center the moment he left hyperspace, I don't think he'd be alive right now. The pilot acted on your orders. Clever orders, at that."
"I was frightened," I whisper. "I thought he was dead. They wouldn't let me see him," I say, and to my horror, my voice cracks. His hold loosens, and then his hands are on my face.
"Oh, Kitten," he murmurs, pressing his forehead to mine. "He's a private person. It's okay."
"Anakin," I say, feeling vulnerable. "Tell him I'm glad he's okay. Please?"
"Sure." To my surprise, he tugs me into a hug, and I melt into it. "I'll tell him."