•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•
I walk down the cold hallway alone until I'm outside his door. I don't knock, I just stand outside his door, staring at it. It's four in the morning, it's not like he will be awake, but where else do I go right now? Enzo made me come back here alone while he helps Dumbledore and Harry figure out where his mother could be hiding.
I cover my mouth and let out a soft sob, leaning my head against his door. I'm breaking apart and have no idea how to save myself, or if I can even be saved.
"Tina?"
I jump at the sound of his voice and turn around. I look him in the eyes, and I stop holding back. I let him see my tears as I slide down his door sobbing.
He rushes over to me and wraps me in his arms. This is where I feel safe. This is where I want to break and let my emotions out.
"What happened?" I don't answer him, I grab his shirt and pull on it like my life depends on it. I push him away and start pushing him while crying. I can't get closer to him. I can't risk losing another person I love. "Stop. Tina stop." He grabs my arms and I shake my head no. "Talk to me. Please, Tina. I'm worried. Whose blood is on you?"
I look at him, his eyes full of confusion and worry. "My father is dead." My heart rips again at those words. "I watched him die in front of me with Enzo, Blaise." My vision goes blurry as my tears drown me.
I feel him wrap his arms around me and I drop all my weight on him. He doesn't say a word, he just lets me cry in his arms. I can't see, I can't get my breathing to go normal, I can't even think straight.
"I'm so sorry, Tina. I'm so fucking sorry," his voice cracks and I look up at him. His eyes hold tears, the same tears I hold. "I wish I could take away your pain." I watch as tears fall down his face, that he doesn't wipe away. I continue to cry and put my head back on his chest. I can't stop myself from crying. This is my breaking point.
I've lost all my family. I lost my mum, my little sister, and now my dad. He promised me we would be a family.
I push Blaise away and stand up and start pacing as he gets up and watches me from his door.
"He promised," I mumble and grab my hair, letting out another sob. "He promised me we would be a family!" I yell out of anger.
A few of the doors around us open and people come out, but I couldn't care.
"Get back in your rooms now!" Blaise shouts at them and they listen.
"He broke a promise! He fucking broke the one promise!" I punch the wall, feeling the pain run up my arm.
Blaise grabs me and holds me, but I start punching him. He lets me hit him a few times in the chest and then I feel my body drop to the floor.
"Come inside," he says to me softly and I slowly stop crying and walk into his room with him rubbing my back.
He walks me over to his bed where I sit down and stare at the floor, not saying a word to him or looking up. I feel exhausted to the point where I have no energy to cry anymore.
"You need sleep. I'm not going to class tomorrow, okay? I'll be here with you the whole day," he tells me, and I nod my head and lay down, not even bothering to take off my shoes. I feel numb, numb to everything that's happened.
I feel Blaise take off my shoes and he places them near the door and then he pulls the blanket over my body. I watch as he sits at his desk with the lamp on, not doing anything but staring into the lake. I close my eyes and straight away I fall asleep.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ
"Where is she? Is she okay? Enzo's blaming all of this on him and won't talk to any of us, not even Theo," A familiar voice can be heard which pulls me out of my sleep.
"Fuck," Blaise mutters. "I'll go check on him soon but she's here sleeping. She's not okay man. She was a mess when I found her last night."
I open my eyes and slowly sit up. My head starts pounding and my hand hurts along with my nose.
"I want to see her. I saw the Daily Prophet, they said Sirius died."
The memories of last night hit me like a truck and my heart drops again.
"I don't think it's a good time Mattheo," I look up and see Blaise's door open, but he can't see me from where he is.
Anger erupts through my body at the mention of Mattheo. His father has once again played a part in someone I love dying.
I get out of bed, put my shoes on and I walk over to the door, opening it more so they can both see me.
I make eye contact with Mattheo, and he looks relieved to see me. "Princess, are you okay?"
"Don't talk to me," I snap. "Just leave me alone because the last thing I want is to take out all my anger on you."
He looks at me with sadness and I walk straight past him, trying to calm down the raging storm in my head. I feel his hand wrap around my arm, turning me to face him and without thinking, I slap him across the face.
"I warned you," I choke out with surprise and then I start laughing, almost hysterically. "It's always something to do with your father," I laugh harder, and Blaise takes a concerned step toward me as tears start to fall down my face. "First Cedric. Now my own father has been taken away from me because of your dads fucking evil wizard bullshit."
I turn around, leaving Mattheo standing in the hallway with Blaise, as I walk back to my room.
I walk into my room and go straight into the bathroom, getting into the shower with the hot water hitting my skin. I feel bad for what I did but I'm so furious. His father didn't kill mine, but his father is the reason mine came to save us. If he didn't trick me and Harry then we would have never ended up there, and if we never ended up there then I would still have a dad.
I finish washing the blood off my face and get out, putting on new clothes. I walk out of my bathroom and see Theo, Blaise, Pansy, and Enzo, sitting on my bed, along with a plate of food.
"Hey, Tina," Theo says.
I throw my towel on my desk and pick up the plate of food. "Thank you, guys."
Enzo gets up and pulls me into a tight hug. "I'm-I'm truly s-sorry," he says between hiccups, and I rub my free hand on his back. "I should have killed her when we first saw her."
"We didn't know this was going to happen," I whisper as we pull away.
I look over to the rest of them and see the sad smiles they give me, making me roll my eyes as I step away from Enzo. "Don't, please. I don't want everyone looking at me like I'm broken or some shit."
"It's just that, we are worried," The says carefully. "You have been through so much."
"You think I don't know that?" I snap at him and then take in a deep breath. "Can you guys just leave me alone, please?" I face my back to them and put the plate on my desk.
I feel someone wrap their arms around my shoulders and hug me from behind. "I understand you're upset, which is why I won't take your mood to heart," Theo whispers into my hair. "We love you, Val, and we will be back later to check on you."
I don't move or say a word as Theo lets go of me and I hear them leave the room, closing the door behind them.
I let out a sigh and sit down at my desk, staring at the photo of my parents with The Order. How can I lose both my parents in a year? I have no parents or siblings left. I'm an orphan. My whole childhood I dreamed of having a father. I finally get my father in my life and just like that he gets taken from me.
I'm so fucking tired. I wish I could just forget. Forget him, my mother, my sister, and Cedric, because then I wouldn't feel this pain. I'm sick of being broken, over again constantly. I'm so sick of caring for someone and them dying on me.
Who's next? Enzo? Blaise? Pansy? Theo? I don't think I can take another death.
I'm so broken and have no idea how I'm going to stop breaking.
How can he just die like that? How could I just stand there as he died? I should have jumped in the way or shoved him away or convinced Harry to not go. This is all my fault. I'm the reason he's dead. I killed my father. I killed him. I killed Sirius Black.
I can feel my body shaking, with anger and sadness. I can't handle this.
"I killed my own fucking father. This is all my fault!"
I stand up and grab the plate full of food, throwing it at the wall where it shatters and covers my floor. I turn around and grab the picture frame of me and Colette and throw it at the door. I watch as the glass shatters on the door and the photo rips at the bottom. I let out a scream and start pulling my hair.
"You're so stupid, Valentina! You killed him! You killed your mum!" I yell at myself and pick up the chair, throwing it at my wardrobe, letting out another scream. I throw everything off my desk and kick my bag across my room and sob until I fall to the ground and let out a cry in pain as my hand lands on a piece of glass.
"I wish I never loved anyone."
I pull the shard of glass out and throw it on the ground, watching the blood drip off my hand and onto the floor. I grab my dirty shirt and wrap it around my hand as a way to stop the bleeding. I lay down on the now messy floor, feeling my body shut down on me as I close my eyes and shut my mind out.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ
"Lift her onto the bed."
I keep my eyes closed as I feel someone lift me up and place me on my bed softly. I don't open my eyes or move; I don't want to be awake and have to explain the mess.
"Pass me the trashcan. I'll clean up the glass and you start to pack her trunk."
It's Blaise talking to someone else in my room.
"Where will she go these holidays?" I hear Pansy walk closer to me as she talks to Blaise.
"I don't know but she can't be alone like this. I might see if she can stay with me, but I have a feeling my mother wouldn't allow it."
I listen as the glass he picks up makes a noise as it lands in the bin.
"I wish she could stay with me, but I don't even get along with my parents and that's not something she needs to be around. As much as I hate Potter, maybe she can stay with him."
I didn't even think about where I would stay now. I mean, Remus will probably have me, but he doesn't have much spare room.
"What the fuck happened here?" I hear Theo enter my room with more footsteps.
"Is she awake?" His voice causes my heart to jump.
I didn't think Mattheo would ever come near me again after what I did.
"We found her on the floor asleep and her room trashed. My guess is she had a breakdown," Blaise says quietly.
I sit up and face everyone, making eye contact with Mattheo. Theo looks at me with wide eyes as Blaise doesn't notice I'm awake while he continues to clean the floor and Pansy has her back facing me.
Enzo rushes over to my bed and sits down. "Are you okay Valentina?"
Blaise stops cleaning and looks up at me and Pansy turns around and stops folding my clothes.
"I, uh, I don't know," I stutter and grab my hand, looking away from them.
"Did you hurt yourself?" I look up and see Mattheo standing behind Blaise with Theo.
"No Riddle, I accidentally cut my hand on the glass."
He walks into my bathroom, and I get off my bed starting to clean up the rest of the mess.
"Come here," I ignore Mattheo as he stands in front of me. "Look at me, Tina. Let me help you," he grabs my arm and I look at him. He's holding a wet cloth and a bandage.
I give him my hand and he takes off my dirty shirt that is now covered in blood and he carefully cleans my cut, wrapping the bandage around it.
"Where are you staying these holidays?" Blaise asks.
I look at Pansy and then at him. "I don't know yet. I might stay with Ron and his family."
Mattheo finishes wrapping my hand and I start cleaning again.
"Stop cleaning. We can clean this, and you go talk to Ron," Theo says softly, and I nod my head before walking out of my room.
I walk into the Slytherin common room and notice everyone staring at me, so I ignore them and put my head down, avoiding eye contact with everyone and quietly walk towards the Gryffindor common room.
"Valentina!"
I stop and look up, coming face to face with Fred who doesn't say a word and hugs me. I wrap my arms around him and feel him gently squeeze me and then pull away.
"I was actually looking for Ron. I uh, have a question that I need to ask," I say hesitantly, and I look at him while fiddling with my hands. How do I ask someone if I can stay with them?
"Hold that question. I was coming to look for you to let you know that Mother said you and Enzo will be staying with us these holidays," he tells me with a small smile.
I let out a breath of relief and hug him again. "Thank you. That's what I was going to ask you."
He rubs my back and then we pull away. "Want to join us at the feast?"
I nod my head no and give him a small smile. "No thank you, Fred. I'm going to head back to my room and pack for tomorrow."
He gives me a smile and I turn around, walking back towards my room.
"She's an orphan now with no mommy or daddy. How miserable."
I stop in my tracks and turn around to see Cormac and two of his boys standing behind me laughing as they continue to mock me. I walk straight up to him and put my arm on his throat, pushing him against the wall as he struggles to move and looks at me as if I'm crazy.
"The fuck did you just say?" I push harder against his throat, and he looks at his boys that both grab me and pull me away. "Let go of me you assholes!" I seethe to both of them, and they both continue to hold me, as I try to free myself.
"Not so big now without your boy toys huh?" He mocks and then laughs at me.
I spit on his face and smile at his disgusted look. My head snaps to the left as I feel a burning sensation on the right side of my face. He actually slapped me.
I slowly turn my head back to him and start laughing. "Is that all you got?"
He lifts his fist and I brace myself for the hit but suddenly both the boys holding me get pulled back. I watch as Cormac looks behind me in fear and I take that as my chance. I throw a punch straight to his eye and his body drops as I get on top of him and throw another punch.
All my anger has full control of me, and my mind is blinded by the red that casts over my eyes. I feel all my rage hit him repeatedly until someone grabs me by the waist and pulls me back. "Mock me again Cormac and I will kill you. I promise I will!"
I finally see properly and he's on the floor covering his face. I shove off Theo and walk away taking deep breaths.
"Tina! What the fuck was that?" I ignore Mattheo and continue walking to my room. "You can't just hit anyone for no reason."
I turn around and shove him, but he doesn't move backward. "There was a reason Riddle. He mocked my mother and father and then slapped me. He fucking had what was coming to him," I shove him again, but he stays in his place. "He's lucky Theo grabbed me, otherwise I don't think I would have stopped."
He looks at me with no emotion and I turn around and walk into my room, not bothering to close the door because I know they will all come in soon.
I throw the rest of my clothes in my trunk and a few of my other belongings but leave out a pair of jeans and my black hoodie. I sit on my floor and look at my knuckles. I've split them again. It seems to be a habit of mine, to split my knuckles right after they have healed.
Sighing, I stand up and walk over to my desk, grabbing a quill and a piece of paper before starting to write a letter that will explain everything to them.
"We are staying here tonight."
I look up after spending an hour writing and see all the boys and Pansy walk into my room with their pillows and blanket. Pansy throws her things on my bed, and I quickly fold the letter, addressing it to them before placing it on top of my books.
"You may not want us around right now, but you need us at the moment," Pansy says as I stand up and sit on my bed.
"We don't know what happened last night, and we won't ask you or Enz, but just know you can talk to us about it if you need. You aren't alone cousin. You have us, always and forever," Draco says with a small smile as he sits on the floor with the rest of the boys.
I give him a smile. "I'm not ready to talk about it yet but thank you guys. I'm so sorry for how I've been acting. I just feel so lost and hurt. I know I have you guys, but I can't help at still feeling lonely, it's stupid."
Pansy grabs my hand and shakes her head. "It's not stupid, Val. We can't even imagine how you feel but we know that you have every right to feel how you do and to be mad at the world right now. We love you, always and forever."
"Always and forever," they all repeat, even Mattheo.
I smile as tears form in my eyes and I look around at them all, taking in their faces.
• Author's Note•
tw that next chapter gets dark.