**This part won't make sense at all unless you've read "Once Upon a Time." I actually recommend reading it on my Ao3 account if you clicked on this story without reading it yet. It's edited better. Same username. Same story name. Thanks for the support!**
**Also trigger warning: Anxiety**
"Finally," he breathed, once they were outside. "That atmosphere was getting to be too much, even for me. How were you dealing with it? You're not good with people... Are you?"
Sarada shrugged. "If I want to be hokage, I have to get used to big social gatherings... Or at least, that's what I've been telling myself... That being said, you can see the stars really well from here. I guess it's because the only source of light for miles around is behind us," she mumbled, taking a step forward.
Boruto joined her, the back of his hand brushing against hers. There was light laugher as their pinky's reached for each other, and then their hands folded together as seamlessly as a curtain.
They were practically pros at sneaking affection in public, but to be alone together with no mission to complete? Nothing to pressure them to part ways? It was as rare to Boruto as pulling an SSR card that wasn't his dad.
"Hey, Sarada."
"Hm?"
"Do you think we should tell someone about it? Other than Shikadai, I mean."
"It?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "You mean us?"
"It, us, no matter what name you put on it... I don't know. I know this stupid Karma is in the way," he said, looking at his hand. "And I'm still scared of our parents finding out... But don't you want to spend time together outside of missions? To go on actual... Well, I guess still secretive, dates?"
"To where, Kaminari Burger," she said with a laugh, turning to face him and pulling his other hand into hers.
"Mmmm... I think I'd take to all the secret spots I found while trying to hide from dad after I pranked him," he said, turning to face her with a big grin. "Although Kaminari Burger isn't bad..."
"You'll have to show me these secret spots later. I didn't even know they existed."
"That's why there a secret," he hummed, sneaking one arm around her waist and turning back to the stars.
She leaned her head against him and they sat there in a comfortable silence for a few blissful moments.
"Hey, Boruto..."
"Hmm?"
"Are you... Are you sure you're ok with... me?"
"After all this, you're really going to tell me you're insecure," he laughed, looking over and touching his forehead to hers. "Sarada..."
The momentary urge to kiss her was stifled by a mild panic.
He lifted his head and went around behind her, tucking his chin comfortably into her shoulder as both arms came to rest around her stomach. "Don't make me say more embarrassing stuff."
"But if you got stuck in that game with some other girl... Then wouldn't you--"
"Sa-ra-da."
Her quiet forlorn disposition told him she still wasn't entirely satisfied with his answer.
Sighing into her hair, he pulled himself away and guided her to face him, thin shoulders under his palms.
"Listen to yourself. Let's go through the list. If I got stuck in that game with Cho-Cho, I sure as heck wouldn't have kissed her. And I'd gag if I had to."
"Hey! That's my best friend you're talking about," she pouted. "Besides... You were speechless in front of her when she slimmed down."
Boruto sighed and let go, his eyes tracking a firefly in the bushes below. "Alright fine, she's pretty when she's in butterfly mode or whatever the heck it is. I was twelve. Do you want to hear this or not?"
"...Fine."
"Let's say I got stuck in the game with skinny Cho-Cho. Maybe I'd be happy I got to kiss her for a second. But would I have fallen in love with her? With someone who is more concerned about eating and watching dramas who isn't interested in me at all?"
"Maybe..."
A pathetic laugh escaped his nose. He turned and reached out, sliding his palm against her cheek, earning her full attention and eye contact. "That is a definite no."
But just as soon as he had her attention, her gaze drifted away. "W-What about..."
""What about?"
Boruto was determined to take all of Sarada's insecurities and smash them to smithereens. She'd been this way as a kid too, shy and scared until he forced her out of her shell. And as long as he was patient, she'd eventually gain confidence that was more solid than susanoo.
"...What about Sumire..."
Sumire was for some reason Sarada's biggest insecurity. Whenever she mentioned her, it was like the light disappeared from her face.
Boruto knew that the violet haired girl previously liked him. But Sarada always seemed to feel guilty that she had somehow stolen Boruto away from her. As if they were meant to be and Sarada was just an extra that wound up with the main character.
And worst of all, he really didn't have an answer. It was precisely because he didn't know enough about Sumire's true personality that he couldn't find something to counter Sarada's arguments like he could with Cho-Cho.
And so, he sighed. "Hey Sarada, are you in love with me?"
"H...Huh?"
"Just answer the question," he hummed, picking up her hand and mindlessly trailing his thumb over her smooth skin.
"I-I mean... I..." She couldn't finish.
He brought her knuckles to his lips, closing his eyes and letting the small gesture of affection linger there for a moment.
"I don't know how many times I have to tell you," he said, finally. "But I am in love with you. I don't think you understand what that means yet... But when you do, I'll still be here. I'm not leaving you for Sumire. Not now, not ever."
Sarada averted her gaze, a glassy sheen setting on her lower eyelids.
"Maybe things would have turned out differently if she was in the game instead of you. I don't know... But even if they did, I told you, didn't I? When you become the hokage, I'm going to be your right hand man and protect you. I wouldn't break that promise."
"That's not what I..."
"I don't know how else to explain it to you..." He stepped subtly closer, brushing a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "But you mean the world to me. Even if you got sucked into a war, I'd follow you without hesitation."
"Boruto..." A shiver took over her body.
Boruto's gaze shifted to her shoulders only to find goosebumps trailing along her bare arms. He quickly unbuttoned his suit jacket and shrugged it off, draping it around her shoulders.
"Come here," he mumbled, pulling her into his chest. "You're freezing... I'm sorry I didn't notice."
Sarada tucked her face down into his vest, her arms wrapping around his back.
"Oi, the jacket is gonna fall, ya know."
"I'm sorry..."
The words made him freeze. Sorry for... what? For being insecure? Or is she thinking about...
Sarada lifted her head. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know.
He smiled slightly back.
And then his smile faded when her gaze dropped to his lips.
The sheen of her lipgloss tempted him to give her what she wanted. Just this once.
But he closed his eyes. It was still something he couldn't handle... Not after what he'd done to her.
Just as he opened his eyes to return her apology, his parted lips were met with hers.
Everything halted for a mere moment.
And then, his mind started racing.
Snow White. Sleeping Beauty. Rapunzel. Momoshiki.
Kissing her into the pillow as she desperately tried to push him away, her weak hands and whimpers of terror causing him to exude every ounce of willpower he had on taking over the monster.
Her smooth skin, crusted over with cuts and burns. His own hands making her injuries worse.
Finally fighting to the forefront, shaking, lifting more weight then he knew it was safe to hold. But it didn't matter. He'd do anything to get himself away from her.
The pain of ripping out his own eye. The sting and itchiness behind the empty lids. The voice inside him that wasn't his.
Instant anxiety washed over him. His entire body tensed. Shook.
He tried to pull away, but she coaxed him closer, clinging to him. The jacket fell off her shoulders and onto the wooden deck.
An involuntary sob worked its way into his throat.
Any sort of kiss that was more intimate than a touch to the lips. Any time they were knocked backwards on a mission and he fell on her. They all triggered a highly panicked reaction.
She was only trying to apologize for being insecure. To say she loved him without saying it.
But he couldn't forgive himself.
Tremors ran through him as he pulled away, curled into a ball, and apologized profusely. Memories raced through his mind like a violent tornado.
Holding her fragile wrist as he burned her with a candle. Dragging a hot knife across her skin.
He was barely conscious of Sarada leaning against him, her hand rubbing circles into his back. She was saying his name, but it was all he could do just to breathe.
No... No! Don't hurt her... "Please," he whimpered through clenched teeth. "Don't hurt her..."
He curled further into a ball, hands tugging at his bangs. "I'm sorry..."
Suddenly, he was being squeezed by a tremendous force. A voice desperately said his name directly behind his ear.
"Boruto!"
Like a slap in the face, everything came to an abrupt halt. He lifted his head, eyed her arms around him. A tear dripped off his jaw and onto the deck.
"...Sarada?"
One look at her fearful eyes and he pulled her into his arms, letting his remaining tears drip into her neck. "I'm sorry..."
Sarada practically crushed him under the force of her hug, but he didn't care. That was what he needed. To know she was strong enough to fight back. To have something to ground him in reality.
There was a chance he could turn back into the monster, but he wasn't right now.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," she whispered, "I thought it would be ok..."
"I'm sorry," he muttered, tears dripping over the edges of his eyelashes.
He was utterly useless. What kind of guy couldn't accept a kiss from his girlfriend? He was only hurting her worse. Maybe he shouldn't have even tried in the first place. Let her go and watched over her from the shadows. Maybe she'd be happier that way.
He released her, and she in turn let go of him, thinking that everything was ok. But Boruto only had backlash panic from the panic of having a panic attack.
"I'm sorry," he whimpered, bringing his knees back up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry--"
"Shh..." She put her hand on his arm and worked it away from his body, sliding her hands down it until the shaking relaxed into her touch. "It's ok... I forgave you for that the second you came back..."
"But that's--"
Sarada tucked herself under his arm and into his side. She gently took his arm, wrapped it around her waist, and threaded her fingers through his at her side. "Boruto," she mumbled into his neck, "it's been two years... And I told you, I'd let you know if I was uncomfortable."
"...I'm sorry..." This time, he was apologizing for rejecting her kiss instead of the events of two years prior. He sat there, stilling his breathing, matching it with hers.
Finally, he spoke again. "Sarada... Would you rather be with someone else? I'm sure there had to be another guy from the academy that liked you..."
Sarada chuckled lightly. "Me? The bossy arrogant me that didn't spare a thought for anyone other than Cho-Cho?"
"That's not true, you--"
"Boruto, you're the only boy who's ever seen me as anything other than a stuck up teacher's pet. There's Mitsuki, but I'm pretty sure he likes you. Not me. And besides, I already told you... I love you... And I'm sorry for feeling insecure."
He looked over at her through watery eyes. The bow pulling back her bangs gave him a clear view of her glassesless face. She deserved the world and all he had to offer was an empty shell of a human that couldn't even get over himself when she was the one who should have been crying.
Sarada turned to him and gently lifted the tears away from his face with her fingertips. "I won't try to kiss you anymore, so can you go back to just holding me?"
He furrowed his eyebrows. "But my arm is around your waist and--"
She stood to her feet. "No, I meant like a hug... I just want a warm hug..."
Boruto pulled himself up along with his jacket and offered his hand. When she was standing, he draped his jacket back around her shoulders. "Wear this first. Your arms have more goosebumps then there are gooses in Konoha."
She smiled and allowed him to wrap her in the warm jacket before nuzzling into his chest. Their arms settled comfortably on each others backs. Boruto rested his head on the top of hers, holding her there under the light of the moon.
"Are you wearing cologne?" She asked, sleepily.
"Mm," he hummed, "a little. Why?"
"You smell nice." Sarada tucked her head down and adjusted her arms. "You know, I don't think mama would mind if we told her."
"Mmm..." he hummed, looking up at the stars. "Uncle Sasuke is going to burn me with Amaterasu..."
She snickered. "Papa wouldn't do that."
After another moment of silence, Boruto spoke again. "Do you think she'd kill me if I went to your balcony every once and a while to hug you like this?"
"No," she whispered, shifting her weight from one foot to the other in the rhythm of the faint sounds of the waltz from the other side of the door. "As long as I told her first... Do you think your family would become suspicious if you snuck out of the house?"
"Mm... I can always erase my chakra signature to throw off the guard. And make backup clones just in case... But you're right, it would be a lot easier if I just told mom I was going to see you." He tucked his lips into her hair. "Hima will tease the daylights out of me, saying 'I told you so' and what not until my ears bleed."
"Is it really that bad?"
"If it means I get to hug you like this whenever I want, it's worth it..." He raised his head and smiled down at her as she looked up. The familiar feeling of heartache throbbed through Boruto's chest.
His eyes wandered her long lashes and smudged lipstick. The wisps of bangs that strayed from her bow as they danced framed her delicate face. He really did want to kiss her...
He wanted to relish in the feeling of intimacy that seemed to make the rest of the world disappear. That made his eyelids grow heavy and his heart pound.
He wanted to apologize for everything... To conquer his anxiety.
He wanted her to know that he loved her more than words could explain.
His gaze wandered downwards, throat tight.
He shuttered.
And then, in a smooth swift motion, he cupped her face and leaned in. A simple press of his lips to hers. Soft. Gentle.
Three seconds.
The stickyness of her lip gloss pulled at his lips when he backed away slowly, leaving him in a daze.
This, was him. Not the monster that tried to destroy her... This was the little boy inside of him that thought her to be more precious than anything else in the entire world.
Sarada's eyes widened.
"I just thought I could do it. Just then."
Her surprise faded into a smile. "You were successful."
The feeling of anxiety didn't course through him. In fact, he felt a longing. An aching. The urge to cradle her in his arms and shower her with as much gentle affection as he could give. What was different about then and now? Why didn't he feel like the most despicable human being on the planet? Was it because he already had one panic attack?
Slowly, he parted his lips and breathed in the cold night air. He brought one hand up to caress her face. It only made the aching in his chest stronger.
Her nose twitched once, eyes widening and then slowly drifting closed. The weight of her head sunk into the palm of his hand.
And with that, Boruto was tasting wax and oil. There was a slight sweetness intermixed with Sarada's lipstick; chocolate and strawberry from the cakes she had been eating, and the unique flavor that belonged to Sarada alone.
His ears were heightened to the orchestra's continuing waltz, but the sound of fabric rustling as Sarada's hands longingly trailed up the back of his vest to bring him closer was much more alluring than the rhythmic three four time.
His thumb brushed against the smooth skin of her face, fingers sliding in between the whispy baby hairs at the base of her neck. The other hand spread over the small of her back, drawing her to closer him.
Each gentle caress of her lips made the image of magic dust swirling around them to heal her injuries all the more clear in his mind.
Perhaps he could kiss her now because rather than infatuation for the way she appeared or fear of what she would think, he was overwhelmed with the desire to convey that he loved her. And kissing her seemed to be the best and most appropriate way to show it.
When Boruto finally pulled away, he lifted his eyelids to see the tops of hers, blurry and out of focus. Instead of feeling anxiety, he felt dizzy. Intoxicated.
He mumbled her name and trailed to her cheek, placing a gentle and light kiss there as well.
And then another against the side of her head.
And her forehead.
"Hey, Boruto," she muttered, smiling under his chin.
"Mm," he hummed, pulling her back into his chest to stop himself from kissing the rest of her face.
"I know this may not have gotten you over your PTSD... But if you ever want to kiss me... Please just do it."
"Mm..."
In that moment, kissing her lips to him had been no different than kissing her anywhere else. Usually, it was as if there was something significant about them in comparison to the rest of her, something that made him feel like he was going to lose it and hurt her. But in that moment... The feeling had simply vanished into thin air.
The clock in the center of town echoed a long ring out over the land.
Boruto counted, holding Sarada against him as he did. One. Two. Three...
Twelve total. It was midnight. With a gentle smile, he let go of her and ran his hands along his padded jacket until they were loosely gripping her shoulders. "I guess we have to go home."
"A little longer?" She pleaded, falling forward against his chest and wrapping her arms back around him. "It's not like this is the game... Just give me another five minutes."
"Come on," he said, folding his hand into hers. "We'll have the entire carriage ride back..."
"Fine... But you might want to wipe the lipstick off of your lips first," she said with a smirk, looking up at him, her chin on his tie.
"Ah, right," he mumbled, wiping at his lips with the back of his hand. "I would leave it on just so Tento could see... But there's a chance he'd tell dad."
"Why does he make you so jealous?" Sarada chuckled.
"Any guy that looks at you makes me jealous," he responded, pulling her to his side. "Even the old guy that helped you out of the carriage."
"You're such a kid," she laughed, wrapping herself around his arm. "Have a little more faith in me, will ya?"
"I just don't like the way they oogle you in a dress."
"Then should I stop wearing dresses?"
"...Only around other people," he narrowed his eyes and nodded his head. "But wear them as much as you want around me."
She rolled her eyes. "You're insufferable."
"I'd like to think that's not a bad thing," he smiled, leading her out the door and through the mingling crowds to the carriage.
This time, Boruto didn't hesitate to sit on the same side as her from the get-go.