The shelter is overflowing with people. Even from the distance, I see the bustle of activity around it. Mostly children, but a few adults, too. Probably more Trackers.
I stop next to a house some distance away, half-hidden behind a shrub of blue hydrangeas, and observe the scene. A group of older boys and girls paint the house a lime-green color, lively compared to the old faded brown. The younger ones chase one another around the front yard, now enclosed by a wooden fence.
My stomach flips when I spot Daniel on the porch steps. He speaks with one of the men fixing the shutters of a window, his arms crossed and his face somber.
Not for long. A little girl approaches him and says something that makes him smile. One of the teenage boys hands him a brush, and he gives it to the child. Once she has it gripped in her hand, he bends down, grabs her around the waist, and hoists her up.
She makes a few strokes along the upper portion of the wall, peals of laughter reaching my ears, before he lowers her to the ground. She hands the brush back to him and takes off running across the yard, joining her friends. Nolan, the little boy who shared a bed with Daniel, is among them. Looking at him, it’s impossible to know what he’s been through.
Eileen, who sits on the steps, says something, a huge smile on her face. Daniel responds with just as much enthusiasm. Watching him is painful. Only a day has passed since we last spoke and already, he’s moved on. He’s smiling and spending time with his loved ones and planning for the future. Nothing about me seems to have stuck in his mind.
I rub my mouth with a shaky hand, wondering what I’m doing here. He’s alive and well, and more importantly, he’s happy. Without me. He might not be happy with me, and I can’t take that away from him. I can’t be that selfish.
I walk away blindly, my steps slow and heavy. I’m not sure I’m getting enough air into my lungs. Something thick and painful is clogging my chest, like my heart has given up its place and wants to force its way out of my throat.
I reach an old terrace, its steps built along a steep slope. It’s overgrown with wild plants and vines that coil possessively around broken marble benches. It might have been a beautiful place to rest at some point, but like most things it’s now no more than a faded memory of better times.
I sit on the steps, my head in my hands. Hours or mere heartbeats might have passed when I hear, “Bree.”
My head jerks up. Daniel stands below me, his foot on the bottom step. But then he lowers it and sticks his hands in his pockets, and it feels like he’s erected a wall between us.
There’s caution in his usually-warm brown eyes. My gaze flickers to the red bruises on his throat, but I’m too scared to ask about them. I don’t want to draw attention to what Eve did to him last night.
“I saw you earlier,” he says. “Down the street from the shelter.”
The bush didn’t hide me quite as well as I’d hoped. I look down at his right hand, but I can’t see the Sunblade tattoo. It’s not too cold today and he isn’t wearing his coat, but he still has on a long-sleeved cotton shirt.
“And you followed me.” I don’t know what I mean by that. I’m not angry or disappointed he’s here. But I’m too apprehensive to take it as a good sign.
He climbs the steps and sits next to me, leaving deliberate space between us. He stretches out his long legs. “I did. Not quite sure what I hoped to accomplish.”
Voices ring out behind us. I glance back at a group of children in patched clothes walking down below along the street. Two bigger boys and a third, smaller one, who runs after them. Judging by his angry expression and their laughter, they’re up to no good. Having fun at the expense of the little one. It brings back memories of my younger days, how the bigger street children always singled out the smaller ones like me for their pranks and games.
I wait until the noise dies down before I say, “I know why I came to the shelter. I wanted to see you—to see how you’re doing.”
“Why?”
He asks this so plainly, without a hint of anger in his voice. His quiet only multiplies my anxiety. And all of a sudden, I’m scared that he knows. That he knows what really happened to him last night. Who hurt him.
No. Don’t be silly, Bree. Of course he doesn’t. He won’t be sitting here so calmly if he does. “Because I care about you,” I say.
“You could have fooled me yesterday, with the way you ran out of the house like the devil was chasing after you.” He picks up a leaf between us and inspects it, turning it over and over in his hands. “I’ve been thinking really hard about your reaction when you saw the tattoo. You weren’t just angry or worried, Bree. You were truly scared.”
“I—I told you, I saw the tattoo on the wrist of that man—”
“Don’t take me for a fool.” His hard gaze robs me of my breath. “You knew about the Sunblade. And whatever it was had you so frightened you couldn’t even bear to be near me. You owe it to me to tell me why.”
I remember Royce’s advice. About sharing my burdens with Daniel. It was hard to do so then, when I didn’t know Daniel was a Tracker. Now? It’s impossible. It would be catastrophic. A year ago, I passed through a little town called Agal Daine and stopped at a town square to watch a play. It was a comedy, but I heard one line that rang so true it stayed with me since then.
A man will do anything for a full belly, but he’ll do more for a cause he believes in, even suffer hunger.
As long as Daniel has full conviction in the Sunblade Trackers, I can’t relax my guard completely. Even if I can’t bring myself to stay away from him.
“I’ve heard stories about Trackers,” I say. “About how they kill people or take them away in the middle of the night. And I think they might’ve taken Henry, too.”
His eyes widen in surprise. I’m relieved he’s not reacting with suspicion. I can tell him half of my story without incriminating myself.
“Why would they take your brother?” he asks.
I place my feet on the step below mine and wrap my arms around my legs, hunching forward. “They found out he was a Twice Born.”
“And what happened to him?”
This next part is all true, and repeating it hurts deep inside. “Four men on horses came to our house. My mother was working on her garden. Henry and I were with her. They attacked her first. One of them stabbed her while another grabbed Henry. I was closest to our house, so I ran inside, with my mother’s screams ringing in my ears.”
I swallow the ache in my throat. “She kept saying, ‘Don’t hurt my little boy.’” This is the strongest recollection I have of the sound of her voice. “I ran straight into my father’s study and into his arms. He took me through the back door and hid me in the stables, in a small room behind a secret hatch door. Shortly before he died.”
I stop, confused. Something isn’t right. My father was with me in the stables that day. And he was in his study before then. The Trackers didn’t get to him, like they did my mother. So how could he have bled to death in the stables?
I nearly jump when a warm hand clasps my shoulder. Daniel’s expression has gentled, but I’m too disoriented by my jumbled thoughts to feel relief. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I really am, Bree. It explains so much about you. To witness your parents’ brutal end, all because your brother was a Twice Born.”
“My parents didn’t die because my brother was a Twice Born. They died because four murderers broke into our house, killed them, and stole my little brother. And don’t you tell me Henry was a monster. He was a little boy, Daniel. He didn’t deserve his fate.”
“I’m not saying those Trackers did the right thing when they killed your parents,” he replies. “No Belvian Tracker would ever kill innocents. I hope that, whoever they were, they also got what they deserved. But if your brother grew up unchecked, there would have been horrible consequences. These Twice Born don’t stay good forever, Bree. Eventually the dark side will kill off the other, and then the Trackers can’t track them anymore. They will be free to do as they please. And what they please will be at the expense of the rest of us normal folks.”
I leap to my feet and glare down at him. Brainwashed. That’s what Eve called him last night. This isn’t about Henry at all. Everything I’ve said has been about me, and I can’t believe he would so enthusiastically advocate for my demise. Even if he doesn’t realize it.
“Tell me, what would you do if you found out Tobin was a Twice Born? Would you discard your little brother so cavalierly? Would you see him as anything other than the boy you’ve known all your life? Would you ever think of him as a monster?”
He shakes his head. “No. Of course not.”
At least he’s honest with himself.
“But I would still do the right thing. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he ever did something to harm people. I’ve taken on a great duty—I can’t play favoritism.”
“You would let them kill your brother so that you wouldn’t be accused of favoritism?” How can anyone be so callous—so ruthless?
“What?” His eyebrows pull into a frown. “No one would ever kill my brother simply because he’s a Twice Born. We don’t kill anyone. There’s a place where the Twice Born go when we capture them.”
“Where is that?”
“Two small islands southeast of Belveer. Veran’s Gate and Ashfall. Most Belvians believe they’re uninhabited. That’s where they keep all captured Twice Born south of Coron. They give them farmland and allow them to lead normal lives, provided they don’t attempt to escape and disrupt human society. Not that they could escape if they wanted. The islands are heavily guarded.” He hesitates. “That’s where your brother would be if they have him.”
I don’t believe for one moment that the Sunblade Trackers have placed the Twice Born on these islands as an act of mercy. Maybe they’re like holding grounds, where the Twice Born are kept until they’re led like cattle to the slaughterhouse. Or maybe that’s where they keep some under the pretense of compassion, so that Trackers like Daniel might be fooled.
Either way, I have to be there.
“Daniel, if Henry is there, I need to go to him.” When he shakes his head, I sit down on the step, angling my body toward him. “You have to take me there. Please. If you don’t, I’ll find a way myself. I’ll rent a boat and go out there on my own.”
“It won’t be of much use if you do. The only harbors on the islands are fortified. And even if you reach the shore on your own, you won’t be able to breach the compounds. You’ll have a huge wall and guards on towers to worry about.”
But my mind is already hard at work. The sentry will pose a problem, but there might be blind spots where they can’t see me. The wall doesn’t worry me as much. I’ve manipulated walls before. Softened parts of them so that we could push through when we needed a quick escape. But if the wall is huge, what if I accidentally bring a whole section down on myself?
All the more reason to convince Gregor’s wife to teach me how to use my power.
“I don’t like that gleam in your eyes,” Daniel says. “Don’t even think about it, Bree. This is dangerous. Trackers might not harm innocents, but they won’t know what you are if they spot you skulking around on the islands.”
“I don’t intend to go anywhere,” I lie. No point in having him involved in my dubious rescue plan. Or worrying about me. Or worse, attempting to stop me.
He doesn’t look convinced. “Bree, promise me.”
“I promise.” Maybe a girl will do anything for a cause she believes in, too. Even tell a bald-faced lie to the one person she needs to trust her.
Daniel nods and looks away. Silence descends between us, like an extra layer of brickwork on the thick wall already separating us. After a while, as if he feels this is too unbearable, he inhales and begins to rise.
“Do you want to get lunch?” I blurt out.
He sits back down and glances at my face. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Bree.”
I feel like I’ve unlearned how to breathe. “Oh.”
“What do you expect me to do?” Daniel says, the volume of his voice rising. He doesn’t look so calm anymore. “It was so difficult to overlook what happened between you and Tristan, but I did it because you told me it meant nothing. And a day later, you insult my honor and make me feel like less of a man. And then you just take off.” He pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales loudly. “I don’t know what to do, Bree. I pride myself on living in an orderly world, but you . . . you’re unpredictable. I feel out of control when I’m with you.”
I want to sink into the ground. When Eve kissed Tristan, at least I had someone to blame. At least I could comfort myself with the thought that I’d never ruin things between us. But I did just that yesterday. So who can I blame for this but me?
“I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I hear him rise and descend a couple of steps. “I have to get going. I need to visit Tobin at my uncle’s manor before I start working tonight.”
“And the shelter?”
“I’ve left Eileen and Royce in charge of the shelter. I have more time to work for the Sunblade now.”
Whatever happened to the Daniel who told me he couldn’t travel the kingdom because he had obligations to the children at the shelter? The Daniel who shared a bed with a little boy because he suffered nightmares? To hand over his responsibilities so easily. . . . The Sunblade is changing him into someone else. I’m afraid he’ll lose himself completely one day.
I keep my eyes on his scuffed leather boots. Reality is quickly setting. If he leaves the shelter, how will I ever find him?
Should I even try to find him? Maybe it’s for the best that I don’t.
Daniel sighs again. When I look up, he’s staring into the distance, rubbing his neck. He looks torn, like he wants to be here but he knows he shouldn’t be.
I don’t want to put him in this position. “Go,” I say softly.
It feels like that single word cracks apart whatever fragile possibility hangs between us. But maybe that’s all in my head, because he says, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to think or feel, but I don’t want things to end like this. I want us to be friends—if nothing else.”
Friends. I never thought I’d be unhappy to be anyone’s friend, but it’s more than I could have expected from him. “I want us to be friends, too.”
The tension in his jaw relaxes just a fraction. “My uncle invited me for lunch tomorrow. Come with me to his manor. This way you can see for yourself that what we do is good for Belveer. And maybe you’ll realize we’re not all bad people.”
Go right into the lion’s den. Not an attractive prospect, but something tells me saying no isn’t an option right now. If I walk away now, I might never see him again. Anything is better than never seeing Daniel again.
“I’ll wait for you right here on these steps,” I say. “And please don’t say anything about Henry to your uncle or anyone else. It’s my secret to bear.” I don’t want to alert Maxwell Ellis to who I am, or what I seek. I doubt he’d be willing to talk openly in front of a Twice Born who plans to break into one of his compounds.
As he turns away, Daniel says, “Take care of yourself, Bree.”
His tone tells me we have a long way to go before trust can form between us again. And I wonder if we’ll ever get past our natures—me as the monster, and him as my hunter.