Lux smirks when she feels Austin licking into her, she can't see him - just mounds of pink marshmallow, but he is certainly making his presence known. "I can't see you, help me take this dress off," she mumbles then whimpers and curls her toes when Austin's tongue flicks her clitoris just right. "Fuck..." she breathes out, grabbing fistfuls of her pink dress. Austin ignores her request as he continues to work on that virtue of hers. She tries to control herself, but she is done for when he pushes two fingers into her and curled them inside her - she climaxes. Loudly.
While she is still high on her orgasm Austin pops his head up. All she can see are his eyes peeping over the mound of pink, - they are dancing.
"Come up here and help me out of this dress?"
"No."
"What? You going to live down there between my thighs forever?"
"While that's tempting and it's warm down here, I have things to do."
"Ok...help me out of this dress before you do your things."
"No," Austin says rising and then clambering over the marshmallow mound, "I am going to fuck you in it," he says settling over her. Lux attempts a glare, but she can barely stand the fact that Austin is so hard above her. She can feel him. She arches her back and rolls her hips grinding up into him. He lets out a strained, chocked off moan then grabs her hips. "I want you on top," he mumbles rolling them so she is straddled on him. He disappears under the dress and Lux lets out a laugh while Austin scrambles to get the mounds of pink shit off his face. "Fuck! I can't breathe under here," he says when he finally pops his head out.
There is sudden knocking and both their heads flick to the patio door. It's fucking Jessica. She gives them a little wave and a grin then opens the door. "Hi, don't mind me," she says tip-toeing into the room while both Austin and Lux stare at her, frozen. "There are three layers to the dress and if you pop this button on the back like this..." she says, Lux can feel her fiddling on the small of her back. "Now lift your arms, Lux," she says. Lux lifts her arms and Jessica pulls off two layers of her poofy dress, leaving one more manageable poofy layer. "There, now you get a princess that is way easier to get to," Jessica says and smiles at them again.
"Uh...thank you?... I think?" Lux says. "Oh you are very welcome," Jessica says then heads to the door while Austin turns to look at Lux with big eyes as she looks down at him. "Oh! I have a message from Louis," Jessica says stopping and facing them again then putting her fist out to Austin. Austin frowns in confusion but puts his fist out too. Jessica taps her fist with his then gives him rapid finger guns. "Princesses are the shit," she says. Austin snorts a laugh and then bangs on the wall above his head. "Hell, yeah!" he shouts. "Send mine back, I haven't finished with her!" Louis shouts and bangs on the wall. Jessica gives them a little courtesy in her dress and then skips out, shutting the door behind her.
Lux looks down at Austin, a little shocked. "What the fuck do we do now?" she whispers. Austin rolls his hips and grins at her. "What do you think?" he asks grabbing her sides. Lux shrugs and lets Austin lift her slightly as he lines himself up and then pushes into her. Lux smiles at him as she takes him, she loves the stretch, then leans down and kisses him as she starts rolling her hips. She unbuttons his shirt while she kisses him then spreads it open and runs her hand down his torso, his skin is smooth under her fingertips. Her body is still sensitive from just climaxing so it does not take long for Austin to hit her spot and her jaw goes slack as she lets out a little whimper. Austin feels amazing, she will never get enough of him.
He rolls them so he is on top again then dips his head and starts kissing her neck, jaw, and lips as he thrusts into her. She rocks her hips in unison letting out soft whimpers every so often. His strokes are long and smooth, her nerves going crazy and her skin feels like it's on fire - Austin's actions tonight are tender, sweet. But, she can see he is battling to keep his self-control. She hooks her legs around his hips, pink clouds still everywhere, and pushes her feet onto the back of his thighs as she rakes her nails over his back.
"I am not made of glass," she whispers. "True, but you are a lady...a princess," he whispers, watching her with a soft smile. He can be so cheezy sometimes, but she can't help the butterflies that flutter around her stomach at his words or the way he is looking at her. She grabs his ass in her hands trying to encourage him sweetly to move his thrusts faster. With her encouragement he pulls his hips back and slams forward, punching the air out of her lungs repeatedly. She screams when she climaxes...again and Austin follows closely behind her.
It takes her a while to get her breathing under control, her dress now feeling tight on her. "You ok, baby?" Austin asks as she tries to loosen the stupid corset. "This dress is killing me now," she complains. Austin lets out a soft laugh then sits her up and pulls down the zipper on the back. Lux lets out a satisfied groan as she breaks free from the dress. Austin laughs softly again then pulls the dress off her when she lifts her arms.
"You are dramatic."
"I nearly died in that thing."
"But, I saved you..."
"Moron," Lux says then laughs when Austin grabs her and pulls her to his side, wrapping the blanket around them.
The talk
Lux wakes up to Austin running his lips over her neck. "Morning," she mumbles, smiling. "Morning," he mumbles back, his hands now roaming her body. Her breathing labors before he even slips his hands into her shorts. It's a good way to wake up and the first day in a week that has not been planned out. Lux freezes suddenly and then pushes Austin off her.
"Wh-"
"We need to talk."
"Later," Austin says leaning over her again. "No. Now," she says pushing him away again. "What's there to talk about? It was ten years ago, we were kids and now we are not - we will do better this time round," he says then latches onto her neck again. "Wait...Wait, Austin!" Lux says pushing him away again. "You forgive me for cheating? You forgive me?" Lux asks, a little flabbergasted.
Austin clenches his jaw at the word and she can see pain streak his face. He has forgiven her, she can see that - but he is still hurt. Ten years and he has carried that pain. The pain she had inflicted on him. She can't let him live the rest of his life thinking she cheated. It's just not right.
"I know you think I am stupid. Weak even. But I have spent these past ten years forcing myself not to forgive you. I have forced myself to only think bad thoughts of you but honestly, Luxie...I forgave you the night we broke up. If you had stayed, if you had said you were sorry and begged me to work it out with you - I would have. It scared the living shit out of me. I realized then how much power you truly have over me. I was angry and hurt...but I forgave you. It was a mistake."
"Austin, I didn't..."
"I know, Luxie. You keep saying you didn't mean to hurt me. I don't want to stay angry at you for hurting me unintentionally."
"No. I mean I didn't-"
"I was more angry that you betrayed me and what we had, to be honest."
"What we had? What we had was toxic, Austin."
"You keep saying that. It was toxic, there is no denying that. I still wish you had not cheated. But, it was a mistake."
"That's not what I mean, it was not a mistake! Will you just listen to me for a fucking second?!" Lux had not meant to shout, but Austin won't let her get a word in and it's starting to piss her the fuck off. Her words though have Austin frowning and backing out of the bed as if she had burnt him. "Not a mistake?" he asks, offended. Shit, her words came out wrong. "Just hear me out, please," Lux scrambles out of the bed now too, anxiety grabbing the back of her neck as she grabs his discarded shirt and puts it on.
"Why? So you can give me details? Ok, give me details - was it not a mistake because you fell in love with him? Did you leave me for him? Are you still with him? Who the fuck is he?" Austin all but spitting mad while he shoves his legs into his pants and pulls them up aggressively.
"Austin-"
"Because that would make sense, right? Because I meant that little to you. Because I was never good enough for you. What was it, Lux? You were just slumming it with me until something better came along? Where was I when you were fucking him? Doing your fucking chore list? Sitting at home like a good little boy? Waiting like a puppy for you to sell me more bullshit?"
"You were terrible to me! Don't pretend like you were a saint!"
"Oh, this shit again!" Austin shouts, grabbing his shoes. "You always come back to this. Austin you were toxic! Austin you were terrible! Austin you never supported me! You know what, Lux?! I FUCKING KNOW! I know what I did and I know what a dick I was to you! I know! You want to know what though?!"
"Fucking what?!"
"I apologized! I have told you I am sorry. I own my shit!"
"I own my shit too! I was not a saint either!"
"You own your shit?! You own your shit. Well, Lux then tell me why, not fucking once, have you ever apologized for letting another man fuck you! All you fucking do is blame me or tell me you never meant to fucking hurt me!"
"Austin, I didn't-"
"Yes! YES! I know, Lux!" Austin shouts throwing his arms out wide and taking two steps away from her, "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. You keep fucking saying that!" he shouts, dropping his arms.
"What do you want from me?"
"I want you to be sorry for what you fucking did! But, you are not sorry! All you fucking do is blame me for what you did! You were just as bad as I was back then and cheating on you never crossed my fucking mind! I would never have done that to you!" he shouts. He is so angry he is spitting his words, his eyes wild and his face red.
"Austin, just listen to me - please. Please."
"No. Fucking no, Lux!" he shouts turning and walking away then stops and walks back to her. She opens her mouth to talk but he lifts a finger to keep her quiet. She watches him do that breathing exercise Demi does. When he finally talks he is calm again, his voice a low hum. "Ten years, Luxie. Ten years and I have never lost my shit like I have just done with you now. You bring out the best in me, but you also bring out the worst. You leave me weak, wide open, and I am scared of the power you have over me."
"Baby, I would never abuse that power. I -"
"Don't," Austin holds his hand up to stop her from speaking. "If you won't let me talk we will never work this out," Lux says softly. Austin bites his lip, then nods. "Work out what, Lux? That you fell in love with someone else and...fuck. I forgive you, let's just move on, " he says softly, his voice is barely above a whisper as he keeps his eyes on the floor while he sits down on the edge of the bed. Lux feels sick - the thought of her being touched like that by another man had hurt Austin but the thought of her loving someone else broke him. She swallows thickly and takes a step closer.
"You want to forgive me...but you don't - you can't, no matter how much you try to."
"I forgive you," Austin whispers, looking up at her.
"You don't. You love me...but you don't forgive me."
"I..." Austin starts but trails off as he drops his head again. It's scary. She has so much power over him that he is prepared to stay with her even after he believed she betrayed him. What's even scarier is that if they swapped places she knows she would be trying to find a way of getting over the idea of him cheating on her so she can keep him. Their love is intense and powerful but if not respected - it can easily lead to the toxicity they once had. She can't let it get back to that. Austin deserves better and so does she.
"I never cheated...there was never anyone else."
Austin's eyes flick up to hers and it looks like he stops breathing, the air in the room suddenly turning cold. She watches as his face changes, shock - confusion - anger - rage.
"Did you hear what I said? I said I never-"
"I heard you," Austin mumbles. He stares at her for a long time then stands and picks up his jacket. Lux lifts her leg to take a step forward but Austin puts up his hand to stop her. "You hurt me," he mumbles. "I know, and I am so fucking sorry," Lux says, desperate to reach out and touch him. Austin frowns and cocks his head.
"Are you though?"
Now Lux frowns. His question confuses her. She opens her mouth to talk but nothing comes out as she shakes her head in bewilderment. "Because you keep saying that. You keep saying you are sorry and that you never meant to hurt me...but you did. You meant to hurt me," he says, his face turning stoney as his eyes ice over.
"That's not true," Lux whispers, defeated. "It's not? The way I see it, you can't help falling in love and if you cheat on a whim, well then that's a mistake. A moment of impulsive action that was never intended to hurt anyone. But, you created a lie to deliberately hurt me. You hurt me on purpose."
"No! I never-"
"Worthless, insignificant, empty, inferior, nothing, nugatory, trivial, valueless, broken...fucking broken. That's what your calculated words made me feel."
"Baby," Lux says taking a step forward and reaching out, but Austin takes a step to say from her. "Please don't touch me," he says.
"I -"
"You wanted to hurt me."
"No! No! Austin, please. That is not true. I never! I just...we were hurting each other. It was so horrible and there was so much toxicity. I just wanted to make it stop. I was wrong. I regretted saying it the second it came out -"
"We did a lot of things wrong back then, Lux...but they were never on purpose."
"I know and I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry. I was wrong. I went about it in the wrong way and if I could I would go back in time and change every decision I made that night, I would fucking change everything."
"Save your apology for someone who gives a shit," Austin says walking to her patio door then looking back at her, his face now twisted in a malicious smirk. "But, I will say thank you. Thank you for showing me who you really are. You have made me see that love is nothing but fucking hateful. I hate -"
"That's enough. You don't want to say something you can't take back," Louis says walking into the room. Lux would try and defend herself, try and make Austin hear her out, but she can't talk and she can't move either. What Austin is saying is true. She is a hateful person and she deserves every word he pelted at her. "You fucked me up, Lux," Austin says then turns and walks out.
The walls feel like they close in on her and she sinks to the floor, hugging her knees and crying into herself. She feels Louis' arms wrapping around her, holding her tight while her chest shatters.
It takes an hour before she feels brave enough to peep up from her knees. Louis has not left her side as he sits quietly by her side. "I didn't know. I didn't think he loved me anymore, Louis. If I had known my lie had made him feel all those things I would never have said it," she whispers, her voice cracking when she starts crying again. She does not think she will ever stop crying.
"You made a stupid mistake when you were young and in a turbulent relationship."
"But, I still made him feel like that."
"He made you feel like that too. All those things he said - he made you feel them too," Louis says curling his arms around her again and pulling her in tight. "Doesn't make it ok though," she whispers. "No, no it doesn't...but it was still a mistake, and never said intending to make him feel like that. You were both toxic. You were both mean and nasty," Louis says then smiles at her softly and raises his eyebrows at her when she looks up at him. "The way I see it, you were both at fault. No one did more than the other - you both just went about it the wrong way. Love is way more intense than hate - the destruction it leaves is way more painful. But...Austin is not a horrible person and neither are you," he says, wiping the tears on her cheeks.
"I feel like a horrible person," Lux croaks out.
"And that, Luxie-boo," Louis says bopping her on the nose, "is exactly what a good person who accepts responsibility for the mistakes they made would say," he says and pulls her in for another tight hug as she starts crying again. She has lost Austin for the second time and she does not think she has the emotional stability to handle it again.
Louis stays with her till he can peel her off the floor then forces her to wash her face while he packs their bags. He changes his ticket and then takes her home to New York. He stays with her for two weeks, never leaving her alone for long and letting her soil the front of his shirt when she cries into his chest - she does not handle the loss of Austin well. It's ugly and very messy - she is an intense girl with big feelings. But, Louis never moans at her and one evening after Austin's boxes of wine arrive, they find themselves under a makeshift fort in her lounge, both crying about how fucked up life is and how they have royally screwed up - but we don't talk much about that night, it was an emotional rollercoaster.
She removes Louis' wedding band tattoo which was surprisingly easy - fate. Then fixes the three tattoos he had done for his stupid ex, they were shit anyway, and with her steady hand, they now look amazing and have nothing to do with that nasty ass ex.
Life goes on...what else can she do?