A/N: Carpal tunnel has been a nightmare lately but it's a bit more manageable today. Can't say this chapter amounts to much but I tried.
It seemed as though only one thing was enough to falter the numbness which my body and sense of self had cocooned itself into. Shame. It was something that was only made worse by the laughter that continued from the Sawyers as I returned to my place at the table trying to ignore the taste that clung to the inside of my mouth and tongue. It was no easy feat and something that only seemed to buckle down more when I noticed the teary blue eyes of the redhead who had at some point during the act come back to. As I tried to turn away, she cocked her head as if trying to offer some silent comfort but there was nothing that could be said and done and as horrific as I was sure it was to witness, it was only a sign of things to come in her case if it hadn't already. Life with the Sawyers did not become bearable over time, they found new ways to coil and choke you further onto the edge and continue hoping for an early demise. By this point, there was no hope for improvement or of being found and saved. This was what life had to offer under their roof and there was no other alternative. Death was a mercy and a kindness in comparison to their torment, games and punishments.
"Lori..." I heard Brittany start before giving a small yelp. Junior clearly knew to keep her quiet especially at the dinner table where Mama expected good behaviour or at least her standards of what they were.
"Shut your bitch mouth." Alfredo sneered from the corner of the room at her, followed by whimpers of the girl and Junior offering a grunt. I refused to witness just what he was doing. The taste in my mouth was no welcome distraction, the crawling of my skin keeping me grounded.
"Looks like you managed to shut her on up now boy." Tinker snickered from behind me as I closed my eyes feeling nothing but the exhaustion and burning of the tear tracks which had formed on my face. Lifting my arm, I propped my elbow on the wood and pressed a hand against my wet face trying to be inconspicuous in hiding the evidence that they had gotten to me once more.
"For now." Tex commented back smugly, "but who knows how long for, not that it's a problem." His fingers traced down my shoulder as I attempted to jerk from him and was not surprised that he countered me doing so relatively quickly. He was used to the reactions and it was a transparent routine for him. "Always gets a bit shy afterwards, don't you honey?" I refused to react to his goading knowing that it would not come without consequences and as far as performances went, I didn't have a desire to show more to those who had already witnessed enough.
"Reckon you showed our guests a few things though." Tink stated. The man at my side continued to sob and gargle against his own blood and saliva, it was a wonder how he was still conscious but perhaps part of him wasn't willing to let his guard down. The family was cruel to just about anyone and everyone, he was no exception and if he wasn't wise to that before then his eyes had been opened now. Upon knowing he was the centre of attention, he growled through the wet noises which didn't go without reaction from the others. Though it was in the form of laughter and mockery rather than fear or respect. "What do you think we should do with him now Mama?"
"If he can't behave." The matriarch suggested. "There's only one thing for it."
"He's boring me anyway." Tex replied, his fingers drumming against the flesh of my arm. "Think we got as much fun out of him as we're gonna get. Not that there was much to start out with. Anyone else want him?"
"We got room in the freezer." Alfredo alerted them, "Not even worth killing him, I don't want to clean up after his bitch ass."
"Uhuh, that's why you really don't want to. What do you think sweetheart, want to play a little?" Feeling his boot wrap around my ankle, I released my face from my palm and straightened up before he could add to my humiliation and make me collide with the table. Reluctantly, I sucked my gum against my teeth before turning to face them. "Can call it your good deed if it's what makes you happy." I glared hatefully at the blonde who just grinned wider in retaliation. "Not even worth your time? May as well go in the freezer then."
"Or give him to Heather?" Tink offered leaning back on the counter and stuffing his hand and hook into his pockets thoughtfully. "She keeps wanting to have a new playmate. Put down some mats or some shit, maybe a bucket or two." Tex leaned back in his seat, keeping his wicked smirk on me as I inhaled slowly. It would definitely not be a kind death in the hands of the youngest Sawyer, she had shown that she was as malicious as her kin and also lacked any form of empathy or guilt. "Probably have to make sure he does a shit before we stick him in her room though or it'll smell worse than Alfredo's."
"I heard that!" Alfredo piped up offended before all heads turned in his direction sceptically. "Well fuck you all."
The shaggy haired man groaned in protest, his blood covered face turning to me as if I could save him from that fate but there was only one way I could do that and it would be a very final solution. I had enough blood on my hands but as he whinged and grunted, I watched where he edged and tilted his head. Towards a knife. Noticing I had spotted where he was hinting, I sighed. Moving my foot slowly to uncoil it from Tex's hold, I froze and sucked in a breath before moving once more sure that he was invested in once again having it out with his elder brother who was reminding them of who did all the housework.
"That's right asshole, me!"
"Then why does the sitting room smell like your damn infested room? When was the last time you threw out your shit?" The hook man challenged back unmoved by the weak attempts of trying to appear helpful in any way. "Go in there and I'm tripping over damn legs and other parts! If you ain't gonna chuck then at least put them in a damn corner."
"There's no coming back." I breathed quietly to the man while the others started ragging on Alfredo. At the other side of the table, Junior slowly relinquished his grip on Brittany's hair and watched as I stretched my arm towards it cautiously. "You sure about this?" Nodding frantically at me with pain filled howls. I shook my head and clenched my fingers around the knife. It wouldn't be sharp enough to cause much damage in a short amount of time but as they continued to bicker, I withdrew the blade feeling my hands tremble and shake. More red on my ledger. Brittany gave a small noise, enough to have me glance in her direction. She frowned her cut lips but gave a small nod as if to reassure me I was doing the right thing and I didn't doubt it. This was compassion. Peering up at the masked man who had started to raise, she nodded once more at me before edging in her seat knowing the larger man's attention would be on her. I located the more sensitive marks in my mind, ones which could end his suffering sooner. As his tear filled eyes stared into mine, I grimaced and tightened my hold.
"Hey you bitch-" Alfredo started as I forced down the knife in my hand, willing myself to stay focused on the target of choice and not slacken my wrist or hold. It was a small target and I knew as I heard movement this was a one shot process. Gritting my teeth, I pushed all of my weight into my aim and thrust down hard as the wet and warm pus like liquid oozed between my fingers. The cries continued, he thrashed his head as I tried to keep my grip and push deeper into the opening eye socket.
"Well, look at you go." Tinker laughed as I shook my head. I still couldn't get the knife deep enough to cause further damage. "Taking no prisoners there."
"Got weak little city wrists." Mama muttered as I wrinkled my nose, biting back on insults as the man writhed and cried. An easy death wasn't as simple as it had been hoped.
"Sorry about this." I told the dark haired man as he writhed in agony. Lifting my leg, I pushed my boot against his knee to steady myself, the mess of gore crawling and caking up my arms. Trying to pull back the small weapon did little to budge backwards to be thrust back in but I felt the soft tissue that was on the other side of his skull and as his chair pushed backwards, I followed and twisted. The sickening crunch came as the edged blade cut into what was once the corner of his eyelids and against me, the struggle halted. My chest heaved and tightened as I struggled to find my breath stumbling back once I was sure that the man had truly bowed out before he could suffer more grief. Leaving the knife embedded, I stared in disgust at my arm and my chest which was coated in a foul concoction as I flapped my arm to the side to get some of the war paint off. Only a small amount was willing to shift as my back collided on the table trying to calm my breathing. The body remained still now, not shifting or thriving in further torment.
"And you said no. Looks like you wanted that girl's blouse after all." Tex laughed, "but we both know that no means yes when it comes to you."
"Fuck you." I gasped, wiping a hand against my shirt and shorts, failing to remove the majority of it.
"I always have time for that honey." Feeling that he was more worthy of my disgust, I turned my head and glared in his direction through my auburn strands once more as he gave a toothy grin in response. "More so when you look at me like that."
"I will wipe this on you." Really it was the least he would deserve.
"I'd let you." Being sure he got splattered and knowing I was probably in for it anyway, I swung my blood coated arm up, trembling and sticking up the finger as droplets splashed against his face and neck. Unfazed, his tongue poked out the corner of his lips to remove the closest red stain and mopped it up before winking in my direction. Turning in revolution, Tink just chuckled and commented on the mess.
"Looks like Heather won't be having a new playmate today then. You're cleaning that shit up." From the other side of the table, Brittany wretched painfully. "That too."
Being left alone with Brittany was something that truly didn't happen often. For Junior to actually willingly relinquish her was in itself surprising but it seemed as though when it came to her, Tex told me that his cousin truly was having a budding interest. Enough that he had teased that I may have just made a sister. It was no bad thing, not in a selfish way anyway. For her no doubt life would be as horrific as they had made mine but she wouldn't be alone. It also made me question if the Sawyers were scheming something between them, even if it was cleaning the bathroom it was not like them to leave us as unguarded as they had and it made me sceptical as I took to scrubbing the ageing porcelain of the bath tub frowning as some stains would not be removed. In turn, she remained by the sink feebly wiping them and giving small groans of discomfort. Since yesterday she seemed to be suffering as a whole and I didn't question it. It was well known through the family's mockery and dubbing her the 'Baby Maker' what she was going through and being the flesh of these maniacs, Junior no doubt made it hurt as much as humanly possible for his own satisfaction.
Already, she had checked the room as if scheming an escape before I shook my head slowly. It was better to do what was told until things seemed less suspicious or we at least had an idea of the hive mind's intentions.
I didn't trust this freedom and nor should she. They may not be well educated but they weren't entirely stupid. Tink especially had a functioning brain and wouldn't be so careless without cause.
"Lori..I want you to know that you did the right thing." Seizing the scrubbing as I heard her meek voice, I lifted my head in his direction as she sat weakly on the toilet seat. She attempted to force a smile, only looking uncomfortable as she did from the diagonal cut across both her lower and upper lip. Touching against it with small fingers, she tried to shake it off something that I knew from experience was easier said than done. "Last night...you know when you...when you-"
"Killed an innocent man?" I finished where she hesitated. It was the only way of really putting what had taken place because it was a fact. "Not sure it felt like the right thing."
"It was." She insisted.
"I think the law would disagree. Though I think prison would be kinder."
"I'd want you to kill me." She admitted as I closed my eyes and inhaled gently. "I have a feeling as well that you would take that way out...I've seen your arms." Opening my eyes once more, I inspected the scars with a heavy sigh, she wasn't wrong.
"Thought you wanted to live?" I challenged, raising an eyebrow. "Though I have to say, I understand your change of heart. The company leaves a lot to be desired."
"You're not wrong." She mumbled. "Seems like every time I get closer to being free they-"
"They shit all over your plans and leave you more of a sorry state?"
"Something like that." Exhaling, I straightened up to sit in a comfort position. Leaning against the side of the bath, I inspected her bruised and pale form as she swallowed harshly.
"Still feeling sick?"
"It's all I ever seem to do these days." Brittany confessed, bowing her head so the marble of the sink could touch the skin of her forehead which was laced in sweat. I frowned deeply to myself and couldn't help but dread just what the cause was. Pushing up and over the sides of the tub I walked over to her and ran the sink gently reaching for the stained towel that rested on the radiator. "What would you do?" Dabbing the wet cloth on her forehead, I pursed my lips at the question knowing what she was insinuating. I would like to think that by some miracle I had escaped exactly that but from appearances alone, Brittany didn't appear to be so fortunate.
"Depends what you mean." I replied quietly looking past the open door and down the doorway aware of Tex's door being open and attempting to keep my voice down. Leaning back against the sink, I dabbed gently against her skin as she groaned.
"You know what I mean." She whispered back weakly as I nodded, there was no way of trying to reassure her, the vomit kept coming back and while it could be the sight of gore or smell of death or even just a coincidence there was one reason more likely than the other why she was feeling this way and it meant the Sawyers were going to get their wish of another family member.
"Yeah," I admitted, "I do."
"And?"
"If." I started as her frail hands pressed down on my own and against the wet material for comfort.
"If?" She pressed sickly.
"I would stick a coat hanger up there." I answered honestly. It was a trick I had heard of people doing for decades, whether it had always been effective was something else but the mere thought of carrying the spawn of the family was putrid and would only make me feel more violated. It was something that no one deserved, especially not the poor girl who had her life ahead of her. The red head twitched at my admission but remained quiet with delicate moans. "But you and I are different. Just because I would doesn't mean you-"
"There are none out there."
"I'm sure Junior hangs flesh on them."
"No" She coughed hunching over more. "Hooks and chains."
"Tex always has eyes on me otherwise I'd try. As it is, he chooses outfits for me." I breathed trying to think now that she was considering the idea if the worst case scenario was true. "He's probably eavesdropping as it is."
"Kitchen?"
"Not since I stabbed Alfredo in the shoulder with one." I commented dryly hearing an ailed chuckle in response before she shifted. Stepping back and holding the towel as she threw herself onto her knees, I lifted the toilet seat up for her, the smell of vomit filling the air and splashed. Feeling my nose wrinkle, I swallowed and tried to ignore the urge that followed in releasing my own stomach contents. "That's it." I struggled to say and stood behind her patting her back. "You've got this." Upon hearing the noise, a familiar blonde's head popped out the doorway with a gleeful look. Not having time for it, I aimed my foot forwards, kicking the door shut to try and deter his snooping.
"Who was that?" Groaning and trying to straighten up, she buckled back on down to choke and gag once more.
"A nosey asshole." I said simply. "He'll probably be here in a minute." Noticing the door handle already beginning to push down, I kicked back on the door pointedly. "We're a little busy!"
"Ladies if you don't open the door you know I'm gonna have to let myself on in." Tex's voice warned. Keeping my boot against it, I tried to think quickly on where else she may be able to get her hands on what I had suggested. Tinker and Mama's room was not an option, Heather's was littered with carcasses the last time I had seen it, Tex often watched over me like a hawk and Alfredo's abode was just proof of his necrophilia tendencies. Pushing back as the door jerked forwards, I hummed to myself. "Honey, don't make me angry before I get on in. Junior will be wanting to know how his little play thing is doing."
"Grandpa's." I finally answered to myself pushing myself away from the door to lean down beside the red head, "next time you get taken to the sitting room with Mama, she hoards everything down there you're bound to find one." Nodding as she took in the hushed information, she flinched as the door fully swung open, colliding against the opposite wall with a heavy bang. Straightening up, I looked between Tex and Tinker who instantly inspected the sick woman before exchanging snickers.
"Well, looks like Junior is going to have to be a little more gentle with you now missy." Tinker informed her only to find further entertainment in turmoil as Brittany began to weep. His sentence only confirmed her worst fears.
"Not too gentle though." Tex disagreed idly, "Junior gets bored when he has to be all fragile."
"That's true and when he gets bored-"
"He gets a little violent and we want another baby now. Especially Mama." Tex finished with a shrug before folding his arms, "one hour with you and she makes it obvious what she's been hiding. Good job honey."
"We had a feeling she was swallowing in more than she was letting out." The elder of the two stated simply. "But you are her safe place, or was. Think I'm letting your bad influence near her when she's all sensitive?"
"Do you know what the word hypocrite means?' I asked as he glared back at me.
"Not in the mood for your sass this morning girl. Go put her in her room boy. I'll wait up in here until this little lady is ready to go back to her bed."
"Best say goodbye now sweetheart. Unless Junior really is sweet on her, might be the last time you see your little friend." Gripping tightly at my arm, Tex pulled me to him with a ring of laughter. Exhaling, I looked back as Brittany whimpered against the toilet seat and remained still for a moment.
"Remember what I told you."
"What the hell is that meant to mean?" Tinker demanded as I shrugged.
"Just something a bad influence told her."
"If this little whore attempts anything, it's coming back down on you." He warned sharply pointing a hook in my direction. "You doubt that?"
"No." I shrugged at his ominous threat. Tex rolled his eyes impatiently and jerked once more at my arm, pain rushing up to my shoulder as he reminded me that he was in no mood for games.