ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ
I was never good with grief. And having to relive it today sounded like my worst nightmare. So at 4am I find myself awake staring at the ceiling.
Hayes's arms turn and pull me against his chest. His hands cup my breasts as he sleeps and I feel his dick hard against me. I scoot back rubbing against him slightly.
He groans in his sleep liking the sensation. Then I move again to lay straight up on my back. His eyes slowly open to see my wide awake ones.
"Princess what's wrong?"
He could read it on my face and my wife awake eyes, "Just thinking about dad and next week... his birthdays today" His fingers drift to my face tucking strands of hair away. I felt the warm silent tears roll down the sides of my face as I laid.
"I'll be there every step of the way to hold your hand next week and today" He leans in and presses his lips to mine.
"Ow!" He pulls back from my words worried he's hurt me. He stares at my lips confused.
"What happened, are you okay I-" I reach for his hand an place it over the spot. My eyes bubble within a matter of seconds.
I felt it, I felt our little baby kicking. Then the same kick happened again and Hayes went wide eyed looking over at me.
"Is that the baby kicking?" I felt the tears escape my eyes as I nod. He pulls my lips to his again as we process. He glides his finger across my stomach trying to get them to do it again as he stares in amazement.
"Did they really just kick?" Excitement and curiosity fills my voice. We hadn't gotten to this part of the pregnancy yet and it had been the most exciting.
An alarm blares startling me as I grip Hayes's arm. He groans as he reaches for his alarm shutting it off, "We have to start getting ready for our flight" He removed himself from the bed and pulled away the covers.
I attempt to clutch them as they get farther away. He knew me all too well, my lack of being able to escape from the comfort of the bed.
Unfortunately, I lift myself up and out from the cover and within an instant I find my hand clutched over my mouth.
Brushing past Hayes my knees hit the tiled floor as anything that remained in my stomach from the night prior exits my body. I feel my hair being pulled back as I continued this morning charade.
Morning sickness had become my recent enemy. I was confused because in most women, it occurs within the first eight weeks. But instead at 15 and 16 weeks, I find my knees glued to the ground each morning.
I wipe my lips with toilet paper and stand slowly flushing the toilet, "This is awful" I groan as I press my face against his chest. "I think your family is going to know I'm pregnant."
"I figured the baby bump would tell them Lils" I glance down at my intruding belly and sigh. It would be our first trip while I'm pregnant, it was a little nerve racking.
Being 50 thousand feet in the air was a scary thought now. I never used to think much of it, but now everything scares me. I felt like a glass Christmas ornament just hanging from a tree. One wrong move or misstep I could shatter.
"What if your grandmother hates me? She didn't even attend our wedding, and your aunts and cousins? What if they all hate me?" His fingers rummage through my hair as he just stares at me, smiling at my rambling.
"Our wedding was on short notice and they had a trip planned, I told them it was alright to not show. Plus they'd meet you eventually, though eventually meant never-"
"What! Are they that bad" I felt my nerves begin to build up, it all seemed so stressful.
"They are fine, especially Grandma. She was just excited to learn that I've married and she'll be happy to know her first great grand child is on the way" He bent down and kissed my bump.
"Now get ready and let's go" He turned on the shower and stepped inside the steam. I stared at him as he removed his remaining boxers leaving me with the view of his ass. It looked almost too good at the moment and as he turned, he saw it on my face.
"Can I join you?" I whisper softly as a small blush fills my face. I bite my lip as my eyes drop from his face downwards shamelessly.
"We have to make it quick Princess" He steps forward taking my hand in his and removing my shirt for me. My underwear falls to the ground and I'm pulled into his embrace as the glass shower door closes behind me.
Before I can think I'm turned to my back and he steady my hands against the stone wall. His cock strokes my entrance and my stomach fills with butterflies. I rub against him feeling needy in the moment causing him to take a sharp breath.
"I need you now Hayes" I feel his teeth glide against my shoulder trailing up towards my neck and just as he nuzzled into it, he thrusts in taking me by surprise. I gasp out in pleasure as I feel myself clench around him slightly.
"Fuck, you're wet" The heat of the shower rains down on us as he begins to pump in and out of me. My hands grip the wall as I let out a staggered moan. His hands make their way from my as up to my full boobs. They were more swollen and ached than usual.
He wraps his hands around the both of them slowly and gently. Then he begins to massage them causing me to lean my head backs against them.
"Hayes, oh fuck" I rasp as he continues both movements sending me into overdrive. He groans against my ear as he feels my legs begin to shake as my orgasm drew closer. He lets go of one of my boobs and slips his fingers down my blossoming stomach towards my clit.
I let out a scream as he presses down on it, I felt him pulse inside of me as I could barely hold on "I'm gonna cum" I warn as he continues holding me tightly against his chest.
"Then come for me Lils" With that I felt a fire burning in my abdomen and it quickly released. He pumped faster into me as I let out an earth shaking scream.
"Shit, oh fuck- yeah good girl, come on this dick" He goes faster as I felt myself tighten around his cock milking him.
"Don't stop" I whimpered as he continues to pump as I ride out my orgasm. He sucks against my neck as his other hand removes itself from my boob and holds my stomach as I press against the wall.
He lets out a gutted groan and I feel him come inside me. As he pulls out I feel him drip down my leg as I lean back into his chest.
"I love you so much" I whisper "I'd marry you all over again if I could" I feel his lips smile against me as we remained still in the shower. The hot rain against our skin as his hands wrapped around my belly.
"I love you most" He replies "and we will, someday soon. But I want them to be a part of it" His fingers trace circles against my bump and a soft kick could be felt.
It was the most amazing feeling, and I was glad that Hayes was the one I'd share it with. He was the one who I'd get forever with, something I wouldn't never imagined about a year ago.
"Now we have a flight to catch" He reaches over and hands me the tube of shampoo squirting it into his hand and turning to me to rub it into my hair massaging my scalp.
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The flight felt like forever. I barely slept as I felt the flutters of our child, they couldn't stop kicking. But as we landed, I found myself jet lagged at 2 p.m. in France when it was just about 8 a.m. in Boston.
Hayes could barely sleep either, he worried that I was still awake due to how active the baby was. I wasn't used to this feeling, it was a new sensation that distracted me.
I could only imagine what it will be like later on in the pregnancy. But we made it, though my anxiety on the plane got to me in several ways. In which Hayes couldn't sleep again, he was worried about how I wasn't able to.
I was half awake on the drive to the hotel, but the sights of Paris was almost unreal. I didn't feel like I was in Paris and driving through the suburbs of it was interesting. The graffiti laced buildings on the out skirts of the city. It was fascinating how different it looked from the center.
I'd never been here before, only part I'd been to was Provence. But Hayes had booked our hotel the first night just a few blocks away from Versailles. I couldn't get over that his grandmothers wedding would be there.
Apparently she was marrying a man of wealth. Not up to Hayes's par as he put it, but he had some amount of money.
"Lilian" I glanced over at Hayes who'd just been staring at me happily. I'd hoped I was making him happy, he'd gone through so much and all I wanted to be was a positive presence in his life. It's what he deserved.
"Hayesian" I reply, with that a chuckle escapes his mouth. He squeezed my hand for the third time on this ride. He seemed nervous to see his family, but I tried to let it roll off my back.
"Don't take anything my grandmother says too personally, she's a harsh woman. Selfish as well, she didn't even care when she heard of my sisters run. She might take you as a gold digger" That's why he was nervous, the fear of his grandmothers disapproval of me. I knew he wouldn't care, but he was afraid I would.
"I mean technically I am a gold digger, in the grand scheme of things I married you for money in the beginning" He rolled his eyes at me as I giggled, it was daring of me to say but partially true.
"If your grandma's a bitch just tell her to get that stick outta her ass huh?" He looked stunned by my words. In that moment I felt as if I'd taken it too far until he bursted out into laughter.
"I was scared that grandma would be a problem but my wife's the scariest one of them all huh?" I shrugged as I absentmindedly stroked my belly.
"I think it's best that their mother isn't a total wimp, I should have some fighting words. I don't care what she thinks, I only care what you think. Plus Laurie likes me and I think that's enough" His fingers graze my hand as I lean back.
"What time is the wedding tomorrow?" He pulled out his phone for a moment checking his calendar, "Four o'clock, I packed you a sweater."
"Oh my savior!" He sighed shaking his head as I adjusted in my seat.
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In the morning I woke up with the same routine. But this time the tile felt much harder than usual. My face landed on the side of the toilet bowl as I groaned. He stood walking into the bathroom as I finished the morning shift of emptying my stomach.
"This is pretty picture to paint ain't it?" He pulled the water bottle from out behind his back like some magician and handed it over.
"We have a long day today" He offers his hand for me to take. But just as I'm about to, my head reaches the toilet for round two. God this sucked.
"I didn't know there was anything left in me" I sigh in frustration and then stood slowly flushing the toilet. This was gross and I felt bad that Hayes had to see it. I knew the man was probably gonna vomit at the sight of it as well. But this was partially his fault, because that's what happens when you have sex.
There's a chance you'll get pregnant when careless. Then you have to face the consequences for your actions. I almost want to cry from my nausea this morning and the overwhelming feeling of meeting his distant family.
I shouldn't care what they think of me, there opinions were worth nothing. Hayes didn't even speak of them and didn't seem to like the ones he did speak of.
"Your thinking" He points out as I glance back to him from my spaced out zone.
"What if they hate me?"
"You have Laurie to back you up, they all love the drunken man, you watch they'll love you by midnight. Just keep the mojitos coming" He steps forward to brush his teeth. I watch as he rinses his tooth brush then placed the paste on top. Weird.
"I wish I could get drunk" I turn back to the bedroom to lay out my outfit for today. I pick out a simple black slip dress and pull it over my head dragging it down smoothing it over.
I hear a throat clear and turn to see him, watching me "Can I help you?" His eyes gaze down to my stomach. I didn't even realize how much I was showing in this dress. My small bump took place on my once flat stomach. I noticed it's change in size, but in this dress it truly showed.
"Is it too much?" I ask.
"It's perfect, almost too perfect" He stepped forward exiting the bathroom to wrap his arms around my waist.
"But the stares I'll get, Hayes everyone knows we did it!" He laughs as I speak, he gives me a look questioning if was really serious about what I said. It almost felt awkward being pregnant.
At least I didn't tell people we've been trying. Because I think that's significantly worse, and this baby was most definitely a surprise.
"I think everyone knows we've done it. We've been married almost a year Princess" It was so strange to think that. Almost a year of marriage but if felt like just yesterday the baseball hit my face, I luckily didn't die. He could've totally killed me, but here I was pregnant with this assholes child. But an ass hole I loved for some odd reason.
"We have to meet Laurie for breakfast" He walks to his suitcase slipping on a casual black shirt and pants.
"So I'm gonna walk in there and act like I'm not pregnant at first even though he'll totally know it?" Hayes nods as he puts on deodorant, I watch as his abs flex while he lifts his arms.
"I would, but we have plans to get to" He cuts in somehow already knowing my thoughts. I was craving him this early morning instead of a stack of waffles.
"Laurie can wait?" I whine causing his to laugh.
"Tonight I'll make you mine Princess, maybe in the bathroom of the reception. But for now, we must get to brunch."
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I've gotten at least five stares since I've exited the hotel. Maybe because my husband is Hayes Grant and he's been on the cover of Forbes. Or maybe because I had a little belly, but either way I felt insecure.
In which Hayes noticed, but promised me I was the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. But my swollen ankles would most definitely disagree.
The doors to the private room of the restaurant open and Laurie sat patiently waiting with a girl by his side. She shared similar features but not quite enough.
"Cousin, Elena" Hayes mumbled into my ear as we stepped inside. Their heads peared over to us as an excited smile spread across her face.
"Holy shit she exists!" Her voice filled with joy as she sees me "No offense, but there were bets in place of you. Mostly because my cousins the worlds biggest grump!" She stood as Hayes stood bothered by her presence.
Before she could reach me Laurie rushed over taking her place "No I get first hug!" Like a child he body blocked her and hugged me. But as he did, he stepped back instantly and looked down.
"Have you been eating one too many pickles?" I sucked in my lips as he spoke "In one way or another" and with that I gasp slightly.
"Lawrence Grant!" I scold as he laughs.
"You mean Uncle Laurie?" I suck on my bottom lip as I nod my head slowly. But before he could hug me again Hayes's hand blocks him.
"Be careful with my wife Lawrence" I hear a chuckle and I look to Elena.
"Sorry, it's just so weird to see the emotionally locked down cousin as a husband. Congratulations to you both, I would've been at the wedding but our mothers hate each other" She opens her arms and welcomes me into them.
"God she's gorgeous, why are you with him?" Hayes looked more infuriated by her words as she spoke, now I understood why she didn't like him. He was emotionally unavailable to all of his family.
"Gee thanks Elena" She returned to her eat gesturing for us to take ours.
"Now whose ready for the shit show we call Grandma's wedding? Heard the groom was young" She teases, but with that Hayes looked worried.
"I'm sorry? He's young?" She nods.
"Oh yeah, Coach is about 38 and Grandma is well, 78 as we know" His face looked more infuriated as she spoke, "Not a penny to his name, full moocher to grandma."
"I was told by my father he was very wealthy? His name is Coach?"
"Dipped into Grandma's fund for this wedding" She droned, "Your father lied to make you feel better, grandma's spending deep pockets for this dick."
"And she has no idea?" My voice filled with slight sympathy for the woman.
"Blind in love"
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PLEASE PLEASE VOTEEE
Hello my luvs!
I promise you I am alive- just starting
college! So that's my reason for lack
of updates! Crazy time in my life at the
moment- lots of change.
I'll try to update as much as I can,
though this book is coming to a close
soon!
Thank you for your patience