It has been more than eight months since R16 had her first taste of what it meant to be intimate and has experienced pleasure far beyond her wildest dreams. But it has been six months since she had any physical contact, nor will she, for at least another three.
Her hand hovered over her bulging stomach. It has been growing steadily since she reached her second trimester and she couldn't bring herself to touch her own baby bump because it didn't feel like hers. It was a parasite, sucking her of all energy and has become the reason for her growing discomfort.
R16 looked out the window but the piercing glow of the sun forced her eyes closed. She pretended that the warmth was the tan skin of B73 on hers, but the yearning for the Beta grew so strong that she snapped her eyes open, forcing the memory of him out from her mind.
A collection of tears pooled in her eyes as she thought about the promises and plans they had made before her pregnancy was detected. There was no warning. When she missed her monthly bleed, a squadron of Omegas swarmed Rho Academy and escorted her to Matriarch Manor. She didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to R18.
Cut off from the rest of the world, waiting was all she could do.
"See anything interesting?" Her roommate, a young Zeta of sixteen, piped up from her bed.
Rubbing the tears away before turning to look at Z10, she smiled, "The sun hurts my eyes..." Sistine came away from the window and walked over to her bed, a rosewood affair with cheerful yellow sheets. A contrasting departure from the steel bunk beds she was used to. Everything in the room was pretty and ornate. There was a large dresser for each of the girls, equipped with a large mirror and stocked with ribbons. They shared a closet that housed frilly robes made of white cotton and sturdy silver and lavender tracksuits for those that wanted to head outdoors.
"Do you want to take a walk instead?" Z10 asked, she was lazing on the bed with her eyes closed. There wasn't much to do in Matriarch Manor except putting their feet up or eating. There were activities that they could participate in, such as maternity yoga, arts and crafts, entertainment centers... but most of the girls lost interest after a month of so. Released from her daily training regime, R16 didn't quite know what to do with herself and had withdrawn into herself, biding her time.
When she first arrived, she couldn't find her appetite, which was considered normal, and they hooked her up to IVs to keep her body nourished and strong, but when she entered her fourth month and still refused to eat, it was Z10 who finally brought her out of her shell by enticing R16 with desserts. Z10 had insisted by holding a spoon up to Sistine's face until she took a bite. Considering it a success, Z10 began to talk at the despondent R16, day after day, until she finally started opening up. That was the start of their to-be-short-lived friendship. Z10 was near her due date and would be replaced soon enough.
"There's nothing to do, otherwise. Won't you keep me company?" Z10 sat up, hoping her zeal would rub off on the older girl.
"No, I think I'll take a nap," Sistine answered, making herself comfortable and closing her eyes. Sleep was one thing that made everything bearable. The pregnancy made her extremely tired, anyway.
When she finally woke up with a growling stomach, her roommate had left. Sistine checked the clock on the wall. It was early afternoon. Sistine stretched her arms towards the ceiling and put on her slippers.
The dining hall was oddly empty, usually there would be at least two or three other pregnant ladies in her, taking tea and gossiping. But Sistine welcomed the silence. She walked up to the Theta manning the kitchen and asked for a bowl of macaroni and cheese, filled with mayonnaise and bacon. One great thing about being in Matriarch Manor is that you could make all kinds of requests and the Thethas would fulfill them. There was once, Sistine had an inexplicable need for chocolate covered pickles and they actually pulled through, serving her tangy desserts. The best part was how accepting everyone was of each other's cravings. She watched a girl polish off a platter of fish eyes the other day, and nobody even blinked an eye.
Taking the bowl with her, she wandered around. When she first arrived, the carpeted flooring and giant pillars lining the great hall took her breath away. But she had gotten used to the image and the awe had disappeared along with her desire to live. On the other hand, Z10 thrived in Matriarch Manor. She claimed that she was on her way to contributing a third child to the System, much to R18's horror. The girl was only 16.
"Life here is good!" The Zeta had said, stating that she hated working under the blazing sun. R16 didn't think that the System would make a mistake. All Zetas should love growing things, it's why they are in the agricultural sector. One other thing that Z10 had told Sistine that stuck in her mind was that getting pregnant and choosing to stay at Matriarch Manor is the only real choice anyone could make.
For some reason, her words echoed in her mind. R16 disagreed with Z10. She could make a different choice, one that she's been entertaining in her spare time and she's had a lot of spare time on her hands. She just didn't know how she was going to execute her plan.
R16 found herself in the theater room where propaganda videos played on a constant loop, reminding mothers the importance of their role and why the System works.
"... babies are our most precious resource. We have developed a System that determines their best role in Society... genetics determine their qualities and by fostering their natural talents, we can build a better world... no hunger, no poverty, and nobody left behind... our process ensures that everyone has a place in Society..."
The words felt empty to Sistine and only further solidified her resolve.
She needed to find a way to escape.
The girl watched the video in its entirety three times. She couldn't reconcile the happy faces with the reluctance she felt inside. How could she part with the child that she and B73 created? She wanted to get to know the baby the same way that she had gotten to know Bee over the past several months.
She remembered the way that he was waiting for her outside Rho Academy when Orion sent her back after their first night together. The way his face lit up when she got out of the car. The way his face revealed his heartbreak when he had discovered what she had done.
"Why are you making such a big deal out of it? Haven't you also gone to a Pleasure House with Aem?" She had said sullenly as they picked their way in the woods with no destination in mind.
"What are you saying? I haven't– I came by looking for you the other day and Aem told me you had been picked by a Name, so we went to a community bonfire with a few of my brothers. Aem brought a few other Rhos and they coupled off, but..." his voice had gotten shy, "... I wasn't interested in anyone else but you."
"Careful," Sistine warned, though she sounded pleased, "you're starting to sound like a rebel."
"I'm serious, Sistine, I can't stop thinking about you," he had grabbed Sistine by the hands, forcing her to look up into his dark eyes, "please tell me you feel the same way, I-I know we can't... but I would like to commit myself to you."
He stole a gasp out of her lips when he bent down to kiss her. It felt different than the kiss she shared with Orion. There was an intensity to the way his lips ground against hers, no hunger to rip her clothes off, but just a desperate need to connect. She took a step back, blinking.
"W-why?" Sistine stammered. She has never prepared herself for declarations of love. Biologically speaking, there was only lust.
"I don't know why," the Beta confessed, "I just can't seem to get you out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, I think about what we've talked about. When I am away from you, all I want to do is be next to you. My days only start when I see you."
"M-maybe you need to get laid," Sistine laughed weakly.
"Maybe," he answered darkly, though deep down inside, he knew that she was wrong. He had never heard his brothers talk about feelings before, at least not the kind that he was talking about. They often lose themselves in locker room talk, about what positions felt the best, and which girl vocalized the most, or where the prettiest spots are to take their clothes off. He's never heard them talk about how a girl's laugh makes them weak in the knees or how their heart hammers around them. But if it took bedding her to convince her, B73 wasn't going to say no to that.
At a loss of where to go, the two decided that they would go to the Pleasure House in town. It was different from the one that Orion had initially brought her to. It was rather dull, with plain doors and plain rooms. It was also much more private, with a lobby that took them to various floors. They took the elevator to the very top, thinking that it might be less occupied. When the elevator doors slid open with a ding, Sistine ran to the window and gazed down at the expanse of the sprawling city beneath them.
"You have a love for heights," B73 had said with an amused smirk, coming to stand beside her.
"I love being high up," Sistine agreed, taking his hand and entering an empty room. He stood awkwardly at first, unsure what she expected him to do. Sistine, having just experienced intimacy earlier that afternoon, felt much more confident and pulled him towards her.
There was a lot of fumbling on B73's part and Sistine decided that it might calm his nerves if they took a shower together. She had filled the bathtub with warm water and invited him in.
When B73 finally climbed in, Sistine took note of how his dark skin gleamed with muscles, unlike how soft Orion looked with his pale skin and less defined physique. The thought of experiencing a new body sent a thrill to her stomach, but let B73 take his time.
The two ended up lying in the bathtub, with Sistine on top of B73, but he angled his body so that evidence of his arousal wouldn't bump into her. They lay like that until he murmured in her ear, "Are you comfortable?"
"I am, in fact, this is relaxing," she stretched her arms above her head, making space for his arms to circle around her. "This is nice."
She turned around to face him and kissed his full lips. They were... intoxicating. She couldn't help but compare how Orion felt with what she was feeling with B73. How could two people feel so different when they were essentially doing the same thing? Could the Beta be right? Could feelings make a difference?
B73 was less liberal with his hand and Sistine had to guide him, placing his large hands over her body and encouraging him to touch her. When the water started sloshing onto the floor, she led him to the bed but he only seemed to be interested in kissing her.
Overwhelmed by the desire to feel the intense sensations she had felt with Orion, she climbed onto B73 and rode him hard and fast until the both of them collapsed, panting. B73 placed her gently beside him and stared into her eyes, playing with a strand of her hair.
"I could stay here with you forever," he had whispered.
"You need to do this with other girls," she whispered back, but he shook his head.
"No," he had said, "no, I only want you."