Natalie didn't seen Leon for a week.
It was mostly her fault. She stopped going to Sierra Grammar after school and she left school early every day just in case he was waiting for her at the gates.
When her mum asked what had changed, she told her she had to study for exams. Whether she believed her or not, she didn't care. She couldn't bear to see Leon now.
What would she say to him? All she could think about was Veronica. How was she supposed to pretend she didn't care?
Besides, it wasn't like they were together or anything. Leon was allowed to talk to as many girls as he wanted. She didn't have any right to be so distraught.
She just wished he only wanted to talk to her.
There had to be a way to bring it up casually, without sounding obsessed. And until she figured it out, she was avoiding him.
But she'd gotten so used to his company that she'd forgotten how to return to a life before Leon. Everything seemed grey now.
And what made things worse, even though she put in every effort to avoid him, he hadn't found a way to see her.
Okay, she knew she was being unrealistic, but self-awareness never stopped her from fantasising. He probably didn't even realise she was upset. They'd gone weeks without seeing each other before, right?
She didn't know what she expected. Him crawling through her bedroom window? Knocking on her front door? Begging to see her?
God, she was hopeless.
She didn't want to see him, and yet every part of herself craved him.
"Natalie," her teacher said. She looked up to find Mr G standing above her, paper in hand. "Good effort."
He placed the paper on her desk, facedown. That was never a good sign.
Glancing around to make sure no one was looking; she flipped the test paper. Her eyes immediately darted to the top corner where the number 78 was written in red.
Her heart sank into her stomach, lodging there like a heavy brick.
She'd never gotten below an 80 before, and now here was physical evidence that, not only had she scored below an 80, she'd scored two points below an 80.
"Well done, everyone," Mr G said from the front of the classroom. His words seemed to fly right over her head. He continued talking about the class average before starting to go through some of the questions people got wrong on the board.
Natalie couldn't focus.
Her ears felt fuzzy. Everything felt fuzzy. A 78. That was almost a 70, which was almost a 60, which was almost a fail. She couldn't believe it.
Well, she kind believed it.
This exam had been based on a kidney dissection they completed weeks ago.
She tried to stomach it. She really did. When the kidneys were placed on the benchtops in front of them, she held her breath and steeled herself. But when her lab partner picked up the scalpel and began cutting away, she saw the slicing of tissue and, worse, she could smell it.
Bile rose in her throat. She barely had time to mutter the words "Excuse me" before she was out the door, emptying the contents of her stomach and breathing in the cold air.
She spent the rest of the hour trying to erase the stench from her memory.
What she didn't expect was for specific questions from the lab that day to be included in the exam.
She felt dizzy with the bright red 78 glaring up at her from her desk.
Before she knew it, the bell was ringing, and she stood from her seat like her body was programmed to go through the motions while her brain lagged ten minutes behind. Mr G said something to her on the way out and she nodded, as if she had actually managed to process any of his words.
But all she could think about was how her dad would react when she got home.
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Natalie couldn't deny it; she wanted to go to Sierra Grammar after school, spend some time avoiding the inevitable interaction with her dad. Except, she was also spending her time avoiding Leon, so home it was.
Her dad came home early, before even her mum was back. That wasn't a good sign.
She could imagine him checking her grades on his work computer, seeing the 78, and hauling himself out of his office. He probably rehearsed his lecture the whole drive home, getting worked up the entire time.
And now he was home, ready to burst.
She heard him creak the front door open, slip off his shoes, put down his things, and then—"Natalie!"
There it was.
She had been trying not to think about it. Maybe he wouldn't even get word about the biology exam. But now that he was calling her downstairs for what could only be a heated lecture, her stomach lurched.
"Coming!" she shouted back, forcing her legs to move. She took a final, shaking breath before pulling her bedroom door open and sentencing herself to the inevitable.
She tried not to look at him as she descended the staircase, scared that his expression would send her running back up to her room.
It wasn't that he scared her. Her father wouldn't dream of hurting her, at least not intentionally—and never physically. But she knew that he wanted the best for her. He wanted her to have a better life than he did. She was afraid of disappointing him. She was scared of seeing that disappointment written on his face.
She heard him sigh deeply, and she kept her gaze on the floor, probably looking as guilty as she felt.
"I spoke to your biology teacher today," he began, his voice eerily calm. "Do you want to explain your mark to me?"
"Well," she said, trying to sort out the words in her head. "The exam was based on a kidney dissection."
Her first thought was, Word gets around fast.
He stared at her blankly, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, he said, "And?"
"And I didn't do the dissection, Dad."
"You didn't do the dissection? Why not?"
"Dad," she began in disbelief. Did he not know her at all? "I can't stomach that kind of stuff."
He closed his eyes slowly and released a long, tired breath. He rubbed a hand over his face, shaking his head.
"Natalie," he began slowly. "You need biology if you're going to do medicine. How are you going to learn this stuff in med school if you can't even do a simple dissection?"
"I know, Dad."
"You know doctors do this stuff every day? With real people? Real, life people with real, life injuries."
"I know."
"You need to get it together, Nat. What is happening with you? You've always been dedicated to your studies, and now you're running off with some boy and look what happens. When will you learn?"
"I got it."
"No, I don't think you do get it. How do you plan on getting into medical school like this? Huh? What exactly are you thinking?"
Before she could open her mouth to respond, he continued.
"I knew it. That boy is distracting you. You need to be around people that study and get good grades, Natalie. People who lift you up."
The way he kept bringing Leon into this pressed a switch in her mind. She met his eye, her face burning, and fists clenched.
"Leon does study—"
"What happened to your smart friends, huh? What happened to Veronica? She's school captain. Hang out with her instead. Maybe she can help get your grades up."
"Dad!" she shouted before he could continue his rant. "This isn't about who I hang out with!"
His eyes narrowed. "Oh yeah? What is this about then, Natalie? Because your marks right now, they're not going to get you into med school—"
"I don't want to go to med school!" she shouted. She didn't miss the way his face fell, the way his eyes darkened. "I hate medicine. I don't want to do it anymore."
"You love medicine—"
"No, Dad. I loved it, like five years ago."
"Natalie, what are you saying?"
"What do you think I'm saying? You know nothing about me and what I want! I hate biology, I can't stand the sight of blood."
"Natalie—"
"Just—stop it, Dad! You think you know everything, but you know nothing! Leave me alone!"
"Natalie, I'm trying to—"
"Leave me alone!" she screamed, beginning to stomp her way up the stairs.
She heard him huff behind her, but he didn't say anything else. Instead, she heard the shuffling of shoes and the front door slamming shut.
She wanted to laugh, but instead a tear fell from her eyes. She swiped it away angrily.
That talk probably could have gone better.
Well, whatever. She had finally said what she wanted to say for the past year. Her dad knew now. The secret was out. Natalie didn't want to be a doctor anymore, and he'd just have to deal with it.
She should have felt relieved, but instead her chest just felt heavy.
The image of her dad's face kept replaying in her mind—his fallen expression, his lowered eyes. His disappointment.
She swiped at the blurriness in her eyes once more and took a shaky breath, opening her bedroom door.
What she didn't expect to see was Leon standing in the middle of her room.
She stared at him, speechless. Of course, he had to be there now out of all times. She had accidentally wished this into existence and now she had to deal with the consequences.
He still wore his school uniform. He stood in the middle of the room, gazing around at her bedroom walls. She didn't have many things on them, and certainly nothing interesting—just some old photos and a few movie posters scattered in between. Regardless, he inspected them as if they were the most interesting things he'd ever seen.
He turned at the sound of the door opening, smiling, before his eyes landed on her watery expression.
"Natalie," he began. "What's wrong? Are you okay—"
"Don't touch me!" she shouted, shoving him away.
He backed up immediately, holding his hands up. More tears fell as she watched him move away.
She couldn't help it. Her adrenaline was still pumping. And now, seeing him, she remembered the last time she saw him.
She remembered Veronica, echoing his very words. The words he'd spoken to Natalie, words she'd thought he hadn't said to any other girl.
She remembered that she wasn't special to him.
Probably never was.
She was being dramatic. She knew it, but how long had she spent stamping down her emotions?
Every time his eyes met hers, she'd blow out the fire that ignited in her chest. Every time he said her name in that voice of his, she'd tear the wings off the butterflies that erupted in her stomach. All those almost-kisses, she'd buried deep in her memories.
Now, she wanted to feel everything. She wanted to be dramatic.
She deserved to be dramatic.
"Natalie, you're crying."
"You know what?" she exclaimed, the tears flowing freely now. "Fuck you, Leon!"
The words tasted exhilarating on her tongue. Not vulgar. Not forbidden. Delicious. A watery laugh bubbled from her lips, and she jabbed a finger in his direction.
"FUCK you and Veronica and—and YOU fucking did this to me! You made me fall for you and made me—made me lie to my parents and—and—"
"What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice too calm for her right now. She wanted him to be angry. She wanted him to yell at her. She wanted her life to go up in flames and she wanted to take everyone down with her. "What did Veronica—wait."
He blinked. He lifted a hand and pressed it against his forehead, like he'd been hit by a dizzy spell. He shook his head and blinked once more, hard.
"Natalie," he started, almost whispering. "You like me?"
Her heart stuttered to a stop. Even her tears stopped. She hadn't even realised those words slipped from her tongue.
Her face grew hot, and she groaned, walking further into the room to flop face down on her bed.
"Let me die here in peace," she said, her voice muffled by the mattress.
"Natalie, please look at me," he said. When she didn't move, he said again, "Please."
Sighing, she turned and sat up. He had moved closer.
"Can I touch you now?" he asked warily.
Natalie frowned, thinking of how she had shoved him away when he tried to comfort her. He should be angry at her right now, not wanting to touch her. He should be furious at the way she'd yelled at him, the way she'd taken out all her emotions on him.
But it had been so long since she last saw him, last spoke to him properly. She couldn't deny that her pulse pounded at the thought of him taking that one step closer to her.
She nodded.
His whole body seemed to relax as he stepped forward, towering over her. His hand lifted, gently, so gently, cupping the side of her face so that she was forced to look up at him. His thumb wiped the tears from under her eyes.
"Natalie," he murmured. "Did you mean what you said? Do you like me?"
She couldn't bear to meet his eyes any longer. She looked away, feeling childish as she nodded again.
"I just... I don't even know what we are," she began, her voice quiet. "Are we friends? Because I don't know. And then I thought I'd be happy just seeing you every now and then but—"
"You like me," Leon echoed quietly.
Natalie exhaled sharply in something like a laugh. "Can you please stop saying that? Because I'm super embarrassed right now."
"I thought you were—I don't know. I thought I wasn't your type or something." He released an almost silent laugh and shook his head, blinking hard. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Why would I?" She wanted to lean into his hand, but her whole body felt stiff and tense. "I didn't know what you think about me. I still don't know."
"What I think about you? Natalie, haven't I made it incredibly obvious?" he asked. His hand moved, drawing a line up into her hair and she heard him suck in a tight breath.
She wondered for the first time if maybe he was as nervous as she was. If his pulse was as quick as her own.
"Made what obvious?" she asked, her voice coming out as a whisper. Her heart pounded against her ribcage. She didn't want to get her hopes up—not again. Not until he said the words himself.
"I practically broke into the nurse's office to learn you name. I pick you up from school every other day. I came knocking on your bedroom window because I couldn't bear to not see you for any longer. I forced Lucas to drive me to your school every day just to see you," he said in a rush before pausing.
His hand pressed against her skin, forcing her to look up at him.
"Natalie," he said, his eyes on hers. "I like you. I've liked you since I saw you the first time you walk into Sierra Grammar."
Air escaped out of Natalie's lungs, and she struggled to push it back in. Her eyes burned and she worried she might cry again, hearing those words she had longed to hear for weeks—months.
This whole time, she'd been scared to get her hopes up.
Leon was a shadow on the walls, sometimes there, sometimes gone. She'd assumed that someone like him, someone who lived so entirely in the present, would never admit something like that.
She wasn't completely oblivious. The day he almost kissed her replayed in her mind constantly. The words he'd said to her echoed in her ears. But that was all he'd done. Say pretty words and almost kiss her.
Until now.
"The first time I saw you," he was saying, his voice barely audible over the pounding in Natalie's ears, "was over a year ago."
She blinked. Over a year ago. She hadn't seen him until just a few months ago. Sure, she'd heard of him in whispered conversations. His name had sounded familiar. But she'd never actually laid eyes on him until this year.
But Leon...
"I had just started boxing at the Golden Ring," he explained. "I was still training back then. I think I pushed myself too hard one day and thought I'd just ask for an ice pack at the nurse's office. Except, when I got there, you were standing outside with your mum.
"And my first thought was, God, she's so pretty. And you were telling her some—I don't know. Some fact about hospitals. Like a statistic. And I thought, God, she's so smart too. And I realised I looked like shit and turned around and marched straight home.
"But then I saw you again, a few months later, and again after that. And finally, one day, you looked back at me, and I thought my heart stopped."
His thumb stroked her cheek. He was so close. Natalie's heart had lodged firmly in her throat, and she thought she might choke on it.
"When I knocked on the door that day," he said slowly, "I was so scared you wouldn't open it. But you did. And you took care of me. And I realised, I want you to take care of me, but even more than that, I wanted to take care of you."
Natalie thought back to that day when she'd spoken to him for the first time. She had been so nervous. It was difficult to imagine that he had been just as nervous too.
And then she'd been nervous every meeting after that—nervous that she was reading into his words too much, nervous that his touch was nothing but him being kind.
She slapped his chest, hard.
"Hey!"
"Why didn't you say something earlier!" she exclaimed, slapping him again.
"I didn't know!" he responded, catching her hand this time. "I mean, I thought about it, but I know your parents don't like me. And then the thing with Tyler happened, and then you met my friends, and when they asked if we were dating, you just seemed so horrified. I just didn't want to ruin a good thing. I didn't want to give you a reason to stop wanting to see me."
The room went silent.
Natalie thought she stopped breathing entirely.
He was being serious. He liked her. He'd liked her for a long time now, apparently.
All of that wishful thinking hadn't been for nothing, because here he was now. Standing in front of her. Confessing that he liked her.
He still held her hand in his. He pulled it flat against his chest where she could feel his pounding heartbeat to match her own.
"And," he started, "I've never felt this way before, Natalie."
"Leon," she began, but her voice broke off in a sob. She wiped pathetically at the tears she failed to hold back.
"Why are you crying?" he asked, kneeling in front of her. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No!" she cried, shaking her head. "I just—I really, really like you."
"Natalie," he muttered.
She blinked through her tears to meet his golden eyes. He was so close to her now. He reached up, taking her face into his hands.
And he kissed her.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
I hope this chapter makes up for the last one hehe this is the chapter that made me write the whole series! I wish I could spend more time on it but I hope you guys like it anyway!!! Let me know what you thought and thank you for reading!