ʄive
_______________________
Satoru was a God.
His presence on earth, his birth, no, his ascension among humans was considerably the most influential event that had happened since the understanding of the molecular structure of DNA. A new born affected by albinism with heavy white curls, a toddler with bright translucent eyes, a six years old who could recite Iliad and the Odyssey by Homer, a ten years old who outmatched any other member of the Gojō clan.
In this life, Satoru played the role of a God.
Satoru was God.
07.12.1999
"Ijichi?"
The servants turned their heads towards him, alerted. The butler hovering behind Satoru, always three steps behind, following the protocol. Enough to hear the young master's calling, not enough to consider his presence a nuisance.
"Yes, young master?" He said over the loud festivities.
"Why are they running?" Satoru didn't bother pointing at the children, he simply stared in their direction.
"They are flying their kites, young master."
"What is it with all the noise?"
"Laughing, young master?"
"I know what it is called, Ijichi. Laughter is supposed to decrease stress hormones and releases endorphins. I am inquiring why they are laughing, right now."
The kneeling servants covered their faces with their wagasa, they exchanged looks concerning their special young master. Why would there be a reason to laugh?
"Well... one expresses their heart's content through sounds, melodies. Their soul would sing and that melody would be called, laughing."
The servants hid their smiles behind the sleeves of their furisode. Ijichi had a way with words that made them swoon.
"Why don't you join them, young master?" Satoru looked over the park where various infrastructures were set up. A grandiose festivity was being held, respectable members of society were attending and came from the corners of the earth. More laughs could be heard, the orchestra was playing and the tables were full of food. Adults were seated, surely arranging political engagements whilst children were running and playing around the ice sculpture. There were several ice sculptures, all of them representing Satoru.
"Join them? Do you mean running around the grass, making noises amongst low-birthed infants, ruining my image?"
Ijichi didn't flinch at the insults loudly said by his young master but the newest servants, not accustomed with his haughty attitude, hid their discontent behind their uniform's sleeves. Nobody dared correcting the young master, not only because he was the young master but because everyone was considered inferior to him. Even his mother, whom gave her life for his before he could be brightened by the moon under which he was born, as tradition required.
"I am sure they would be glad to spend some time with you, young master. Any of these people could be valuable assets in the future." Royals, diplomats, chaebols, yakuzas, mafia, scientists were present, the world's wealth, its future and present gathered for a ten years's old birthday.
Satoru stared at a particular girl struggling to keep her kite in the air. Her curly hair styled in multiple buns, her dress charming and dainty. By her side, a boy approached her, noticeably older than her, he was a teenager. He looked like her or at least, Satoru could find the genetic similarities they shared through their appearance. The siblings wore matching clothes and Satoru could see their bond when the teenager helped his sister by throwing her on his back. She held her kite higher and the wind blew loudly.
"Who are they?"
"Aslan and his little sister," Ijichi noted. Though he was surprised those were the first people his young master were curious of. Or that he was curious at all. Satoru did not socialise well with his age or social group even if his etiquette was perfect. He was perfect.
"Their parents are working on the new medical centre project with the clan, young master."
"They are siblings," Satoru noted he was right, as always.
"Yes."
"So they love each other?"
"You would suppose so, young master." Satoru's table was on top of the staircase leading to the gigantic park of the Gojō estate. It was cold during this December month but this special day showed sunlight and warmth. The servants said it was another proof that their young master was blessed.
One might think he was bored, he was actually observing. He didn't have much interaction with people if not for Ijichi, this gathering was more of a way to study humans under a social situation.
"I want it."
"I'm afraid I might not understand, young master." Ijichi switched gaze between young Satoru and the children downstairs. Aslan threw his sister in the air several times and if you concentrate you could hear the gentle sound of her laugh muffled under the overall commotion.
"Siblings," Satoru's gaze was fixed on the children. "I want them."
"I don't think that would be possible." Satoru could never have a blood sibling. It was against the rules.
"Are you saying no to me?" This was a threat clearly voiced by the young boy.
"That's not... I could manage something. They came here to celebrate you, I am sure they would be honoured to be in your company."
Satoru grunted something under his breath and dismissed Ijichi by the movement of his hand. A few minutes passed before Ijichi was summoned again. Satoru had spent the past time observing his guests, especially the loudest one. Giggling and running around with nobody but her brother. What was so funny?
"Ijichi?"
"Yes, young master."
"What is there to celebrate?"
Mr. Ijichi controlled his frown, he stared at the person in front of him. No one would consider the young master a child, it would be an insult. He was not like any other human; he was send by the Gods and blessed this family with his presence.
Or so was Satoru groomed to think.
"Your designation as next head of the family, young master." The housekeeper said behind her wagasa, she had been by Satoru's side since he was an ideal. She encouraged his existence, following tradition. And here he was. Perfect.
"But my cousins—"
"They aren't you, young master." The housekeeper interrupted him again, she was the only one who dared doing so. For now, Satoru was too young to understand her manipulative ways.
"But why—"
"You are Satoru Gojō," another sang. "The bravest," the lady on her right said. "The strongest," they harmonised.
Ijichi felt discomfort when he saw his young master's demeanour change. He sat up straighter, his chin higher but brushing his nose with his index— that small sign, discomfort. It was faint but Ijichi noticed it because he, unlike the housekeeper, knew Satoru beyond the ideal fantasy.
Ijichi had heard the melody of young master's laugh.
"Young master—"
Satoru interrupted Ijichi, "I am the strongest." He looked over his shoulder and his strong gaze connected with Ijichi. "Why should mortals doings be my concern."
"Your caregivers organised this day with care. You should enjoy it."
"Are you giving me orders, Ijichi?"
A chill went down the butler's spine. "No, young master. I would never."
"Are you talking back, Ijichi?" Satoru grunted, "my clan praised the Gods to send their perfect heir. Implying I have living blood peers is disrespecting my lineage. 'For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.' Ijichi," he paused. "I am a the one and only."
July 19th 2013
The suite was silent, you couldn't even think more than twenty attendants were present. And yet, women and men alike, were aligned creating a pathway from the door to the bed Satoru was on. He sat straight, fists tight with a neutral face. He hated this place. Hated it more than anything. A replica of his room at the estate— the room he was assigned to, the staff he was assigned to, the life he was assigned to, he had to play along.
"Do you feel any discomfort, young master?"
There were more than two dozens people in his hospital room, ears wide open waiting for the slightest sign of his discomfort, ready to run to his aid. All of them perfectly informed, trained, some raised to be at the only service of the perfect Gojō heir. Invasion of privacy you would say? His entire life was the common ground of others. They found reason to exist through his existence.
"If I tell you what I feel in this moment Ijichi, I will make your ears bleed."
"Very well," Ijichi nodded and looked over an attendant behind him. They approached him with several documents. "Should I start briefing you about current affairs then?"
'Do I have a choice?' Gojō thought listening to his butler, whilst another assistant took notes of his directives. The information poured in during the next two hours but Satoru wasn't listening anymore, his mind wondering, rubbing his index and his thumb together, reminiscing the feeling of soft curls against his skin.
"The leaders would like for you to be present at the next full moon celebration—"
"No."
"Young master this year--"
"Don't care, attending would be a chore."
Ijichi had already crossed the information out, just like the former ones and some obvious following ones. Young master never attended these clan dinners despite the urgency of it all. He had made the point that he wasn't interested in being in the elders's good graces. Not after everything they had done to him, to his loved ones— no. They should be in his good graces.
Satoru's posture was always correct, straight back and high chin. Face forwards and emotions controlled, almost as if he had none. His eyes were covered in the presence of others. But Ijichi could sense the way the young master's fingers twitched, he was starting to be annoyed and when he was, he would make it Ijichi's problem. Ijichi was thankful that his young master wasn't nearly the person he could have been if he had not socialised with his classmates at Jujutsu high.
Although Satoru Gojō always had some questionable habits, he had gained others, many others.
"The Okkotsu family send forward their prodigious only son."
"Ah!" Satoru scoffed, "they are sending a child to potentially take over the clan. How old is he? Around little Nono's age, isn't he? Last time I saw him, he could barely go on the toilet on his own."
"He turned twenty, the age of selection. Per the protocol he has as much rights to claim the clan as you."
Satoru rolled his eyes, "so he's the perfect substitute."
Satoru knew his cousin well, he did not want to be the clan's heir. Yuta was a gentle free spirit, which was also his weakness.
"Let me guess, they found him a wife too?"
"Young master Yuta's engagement with lady Orimoto was planned even before their existence, young master." Ijichi's neutral voice pissed Satoru off.
"At least we can't say the protocol isn't anti gender equality, men and women alike we are created for one specific reason. Otherwise we're disposable, am I right?"
Ijichi didn't reply to Satoru's rhetoric statement. "Would you like to continue the briefing, young master?"
Satoru heard the shuffles of more paper and waved his hand in dismissal, "I don't care enough, burn it all."
"Very well," Ijichi addressed the attendants. "Destroy the wedding requests, then the alliance requests."
Gojō remained neutral.
"Get rid of the clan reunion dates," Ijichi kept an eye on Gojō from above his glasses. No reaction... perhaps...
"But before you do that, burn the documents concerning miss L/N first—"
"Ijichi."
The room turned silent. A dome of doom fell upon them. Everyone felt their life energy drained at the sudden sound of Satoru's strong voice.
"Yes, young master?" Ijichi sang.
"I will burn this hospital with the entire medical staff, the clan attendees, the rotting corpses in the morgue and you inside it, do you hear me?"
It had been a long time since master addressed his butler in such an intimidating tone. That was how important she was to him.
"Very well."
"I want everyone out, this instant. Except you, Ijichi." Ijichi dismissed the entire staff not without a silent gulp.
Satoru exhaled when the last one exited. He laid back, his head hitting the soft cushion. He was swimming so deep in insanity that the bed linen started to smell just like her.
"How is she doing?" He eagerly asked.
"Miss L/N is currently with both doctors L/N. As per our arrangement, we send them away."
"How did they react?"
"We told them to be discreet about the matter since miss L/N is your special... friend."
"She is not my friend, Ijichi." The word felt metallic in his mouth. Friend. No. She could never be a friend, not after he had tasted life on her breath with each stroke of his tongue. Friends. He would be damned if she thought they were or could ever be friends.
"Until the fulfilment of the protocol, young master, that would be her status, in better words. We are all aware of your disdain regarding the clan and it's rules. But the ones that follow the protocol are the ones in power. The only way miss y/n would be considered anything else but a common ambitious girl send by her greedy parents, is when you make her yours. Honouring her in our customs would suffice. "
Satoru grunted. Easier said than done. Common ambitious girl were nice words to define a woman trying to marry into wealth by using her physical attributes. Satoru did not want to get married. He was young, immature and frankly not a big fan of commitment. Would he be able to sustain a marriage? He was barely able to stay in one place at a time.
He knew damn well what the rules were, still he said : "if not for my hands, who would keep theirs if they even thought about sharing the same breath as her? She is mine."
"...she could be yours the moment you officialise your claim and succeed our current head. Although, we both know, young master, that commitment isn't one of your greatest attributes, is it?"
"Ijichi, are you envying the dead?"
"Only the ones that benefit of eternal rest, young master."
Satoru was annoyed. Ijichi annoyed him. The stupid protocol annoyed him. His stupid cousin annoyed him— why the fuck was he engaged with Rika out of all people?! Everyone annoyed him. Satoru had no plan but he knew that his early future, unlike Yuta's apparently, did not include any type of engagement.
"Why should I follow the protocol word for word anyways, it was written centuries ago— are you telling me that every person in the clan was celibate before marrying? Give me a break."
Ijichi pushed his glasses up his nose, "no I cannot guarantee that for every member. Although, the heir, men and women alike, should be celibate until marital bonding, it is one of the conditions of the shibari."
"Or... !" Satoru quickly added, "only consume with one person until the end of their time." He raised his index in frustration, "I can still chose not to be the heir. Especially now that Yuta is willing to take over, I wash my hands with it."
"If you're sure of that, go ahead. No one could stop you, Gojō Satoru." Ijichi's voice was heavier, a certain coldness could be heard. He had never been as serious as when he spoke the next words, "no one could hurt you, because you are Gojō Satoru. Others close to you could not say the same. Your name, your birth right is the leash holding back starving hellhounds lingering in the dark."
A chill went down Gojō's spine.
"The choice of being the heir or not is only an illusion. It is either you will become it or you won't and others will pay of the consequences." The butler cleared his throat, lightening his tone. He was only the messenger and a part of the ones that would be suffering the consequences of Satoru's decision, after all, he was born to be by his side. In life, death and beyond.
"You saw what the elders did to Aslan and Getō—" Satoru flinched at the mentions of the two names. "Although today, you chose to expose miss y/n to the elders. This action was a conscious choice. And I, as your right hand, I have to tell you that even though the elders cannot touch you, they can reach the ones surrounding you. Especially when her brother and parents have already been paying the price of your decisions."
Gojō Satoru was a God, as he was egoistical and could barely see further than the point of his nose. Youth, one could say. He thought he could do whatever, whenever and pass the consequences to the next common mortal at his disposal. Ijichi's wake up call almost flew over his head, almost.
"You should take you final decision very soon instead of stalking her."
Gojō took his eye mask off, glaring at Ijichi. The room was so bright he squinted at first before blinking several times. "It's not stalking."
"You have the wealth to pretend that sending special forces to monitor her every step and breath for the past month isn't stalking, I on the other hand sir, can't be as blessed."
"Ijichi, you're feeling quite cocky lately."
"I'm feeling a lot of things sir, but cocky is not a part of it." Ijichi straightened his shirt, "I'd say... uncomfortable perhaps—"
"I love your humour," Satoru drily said.
"Thank you sir."
"That was sarcastic."
"I would not know any better, sir."
Another silence and Satoru exhaled, not truly in pain. Or not a pain you could see. He had to chose between two life paths and neither scripts were written by him. Satoru wanted life and its randomness that made it complete. Barely twenty-three and they were asking him to get settled, be the perfect heir, possibly get married and then what? Have children? A chill went down his spine. No. That seemed like a nightmare.
"How is little Nono?" He asked his butler about the only child he wanted in his life, his sister.
"I doubt 19 is any little, young master but your sister is good. She and miss y/n seem to be great friends."
"That's good, that's good," he nodded. "How is school?"
"She's one of the top students," Ijichi couldn't hide his proud smile. "Alongside miss y/n and to my surprise, the other two hooligans : the redhead excelled in sports and the gloomy looking in biology."
"Any boyfriends in sight? I know my sister loves to fly around thinking I don't know."
"It is more that she doesn't give it a second thought, young master." In other words, Nobara cared less if her brother knew where she was.
"Semantics." He waved. "I don't need semantics, I need details not of where she went but with who she was."
"I fear that would be very difficult, young master." Ijichi's lips were sealed. Both siblings were cunning and strong minded but lady Nobara was frightening.
"I hold your life by a thread Ijichi. Don't forget your place."
"It's because of my position, young master, that I cannot confirm you anything more. Young lady Nobara insisted."
Satoru sighed, rubbing his temple. He didn't know what annoyed him the most, the migraines or the fact that his sister had more influence on his staff than he did.
"Just make sure she doesn't get into trouble," he came to resolution.
"Noted. Should there be anything we should be particularly interested in?"
Satoru gave it a thought. "I don't care who she entertains as long as it's not Suguru or something." His sister having fun with his best-friend and first love would be very, very disconcerting.
"And mister Nanami?"
Satoru looked at Ijichi as if he had lost his damned mind. Ijichi cleared his throat and checked his files.
"Y/n does not have a boyfriend either," he changed the subject to something his young master would be happy about. "Well, not anymore."
"How long has that narrow minded Zenin not been around?"
Satoru couldn't ask his real question because Ijichi didn't know— he didn't know that Satoru had fucked you in his secret home office. Satoru was desperate to ask when you had broken up with Naoya but Ijichi would start asking questions. Ijichi didn't need to know that Satoru had rutted himself into his couch, more than he could count or admit, to the thought of you. The butler didn't need to know that the heir of the Gojō clan had been on his knees, even a week later the fact, his face crushed against the couch, smelling the remnants of you whilst finishing all over his fingers. He didn't need to know that Satoru had spend the last 26 days touching himself to the few video tapes of you inside the house, cursing himself for removing the cameras he had inside his office.
Most of all, Satoru wanted to know if you were still with Naoya when he was bottoming out of your cleft. He wanted to know if in your desperation to be his you committed one of the ultimate sins, adultery.
You weren't married and especially not with a low life like Zenin but it was all the same, it got Satoru's mind racing. Being defiled by his godliness? The perfect antithesis. An image engraved itself in Satoru's mind, an image of you writhing and sobbing under him whilst he inflicted divine punishment on your weak flesh.
"A little less than a month, young master."
He had been with you 26 days ago, that was a month, right? So, there was still a chance you were with Naoya when you laid under him. Satoru smirked. You were a cheater.
"Is he still around?" There was no use of that Zenin anymore, for Satoru, he had served his purpose.
"No, per your orders, we made sure the Zenin clan was forced to accelerate their succession rituals."
Satoru hummed, pleased. "Send him some wedding gifts, Akane is a lady of taste. She married her cousin because I asked her after all." Satoru chuckled, "Sick fucks."
"Anything special in mind, young master?"
"Whatever is send will do as long as you sign it Satoru Gojō." Satoru smiled, almost from ear to ear.
25th of May 2014
Since when did her hips sway like that?
Satoru walked around campus, he just graduated. Five years of his life, done with this piece of paper. He didn't even need it, but he had done the entire course just to prove his friends and Ijichi a point : he had no commitment issues. What greater way to show so then to achieve college, with high honours! Satoru wasn't surprised though, he achieved everything he did, he was the best at everything.
He waited for his ride on the parking lot, Satoru was going to celebrate this accomplishment with his best friends. Ijichi knew where he would go this time, Kento had chosen Malaysia but Suguru wanted to go to Shibuya. Satoru told his friends that neither was right. Shokō was the one that found the destination : France. It wasn't their favourite place but the group made their best memories in The Gojō vacation home in the south of the country. Was there a better way to officially celebrate adulthood?
A light spring breeze kissed his cheek. A sweet aroma took possession of Satoru's entire body, it warmed his face and Satoru found himself staring at her.
She stepped out of a Audi A8, someone holding the door open for her. Since when did she have attendees? She didn't bother thanking the person and strode towards the main doors. It was as if everything moved in slow motion for Satoru, how long had it been since he talked to her? A few months had past since last summer, two semesters and some.
Why did she look different? He couldn't tell what changed in her aura and it would be lying if Satoru said he wasn't distracted by the roll of your hips in that long sleeved white knitted dress reaching your ankles. You wore small heels and accessorised with gold jewelry. Your hair set in an intricate style that Satoru couldn't explain but was amazed by. The dress hugged your body just enough but not to say it was tight, it fitted just right. He couldn't say that you had always dressed this well, he didn't know, though he doubted that you had ever lost a sense of style your entire life.
He was going to talk to you.
Yeah sure, he stopped interacting with you after the hospital and staircase scene but that was months ago. He had no particular reason as to why he never got back to you, he just didn't and who's business would it be? Actually, he had some reasons not to get back to you but why should he bother communicating if he can just brush the matter off.
Satoru tucked his phone in his back pocket and arranged his glasses. When he looked back as to where he last saw you, you were laughing. Not only laughing but you were smiling. And not smiling at whomever, you were smiling with a boy. A boy that was clearly into you.
Satoru frowned.
The boy tugged a strand of hair from your face and Satoru felt his body stiffen. He narrowed his eyes, glaring at you.
Later, much later, a few hours later, Satoru glared at you bidding goodbye to that boy. Of course it was a boy, not a man, not like him. To most, Satoru wasn't even a man, he was a God. Either way, he was superior to that boy. Not boy, a child. Around your age, surely first or second year. What did you have to talk about that made you sit there for hours? Were you talkative? Were you a talkative person? Satoru had to think of that.
He had not shown himself to you, yet.
He's sat further away from you but you were still in his vision. He was certainly not nervous to speak to you after these months. Satoru didn't apprehend anything. He wasn't spying on you or anything, it was a nice sunny day, his graduation day! Who could stop him from sitting in front of the campus he loathed, close to the girl that had simply, very vaguely, crossed his mind once or twice... or thrice every day since July.
What's taking u so long dumbfuck?
- Bestie Sugu <3
Administrative stuff
Satoru -
yknow how uni suckssss
Satoru -
Delivered
Satoru lied switching between quick typing and glancing your direction. The dude you were with kept his hands to himself but you strangely leaned into him— not that Satoru cared.
I TOLD YOU to do your paperwork next week
- Shoko shokolate
Even Nanami didn't do his.
- Shoko shokolate
I actually did mine, early this morning.
- Nanamin
Administration opens in the morning?
- Bestie Sugu <3
Obviously, since I just said I went in the morning.
- Nanamin
U grumpy Nanamin?
- Satoru
Nanami is always grumpy because of u guys
- Shoko Shokolate
You guys suck 😕
-Shoko Shokolate
You suck 😕
Satoru -
Bestie kinda spittin'
- Bestie Suguru <3
Ikrrrr 😝
Satoru -
Y'all gonna dry hump on e/o in the plane like last time? 😐
- Shoko Shokolate
If that's the case I'm not coming actually
- Shoko Shokolate
... how'd you knowwww 👀
Satoru -
Satoruuuuuu 🤭
- Bestie Suguru <3
You guys are annoying.
- Nanamin
(Nanami is always grumpy because of u guys) reply from Shoko Shokolate
_____
|
Though it's bold of you not to put yourself in the package, Shoko.
- Nanamin
Insaneeeeeeeeee 🙊
- Bestie Suguru <3
LMAOOOOOO
- Satoru
Delivered
Satoru laughed out loud gaining the attention from other people around. His laugh wasn't the only thing that made him stand out, everyone recognised him. Sure, they knew him under the name Kakashi, one of his aliases but his looks were unmatchable. Satoru was most of the campus's heartthrob.
He winked over his glasses at a girl staring his way. She almost melted.
Works like a charm, Satoru thought satisfied of himself.
Scanning his surroundings his eyes fell on the place he last saw you at.
You weren't there anymore. Satoru cursed. He stood up and walked over there. He hadn't seen you leave. You didn't seem to have any classes today since you only had a small purse with you. What could it fit except your phone and a lipgloss? Did you really leave with that type? Was that boy your type? He looked nothing like Satoru, not that he analysed the boy or anything... but the boy had black hair and Satoru had white strands, a trait from his albinism.
Who cared, he stopped himself from thinking any further. What was he thinking?!
He didn't like— he grunted, he didn't like you. That was crazy. He was just interested in what you could offer him... physically? No that seemed weird. As a person~, ew, weirder. Every single one of his current thoughts made him uncomfortable.
"C'mon Satoru let's just go, the fuck are we doing." He said under his breath, retrieving his phone from his back pocket.
He was about to text the group chat before he noticed the white manicured toes beneath his phone. His gaze went up her smooth brown ankle, her hidden legs, following the curve of her hips and the curvaceous form of her breasts under her dress. On her clavicle was the necklace on which weighted the garnet heart pendant.
"What do you want from me."
Your voice sounded more as an accusation than a question. Your hostility set him back, Satoru Gojō was stuttering.
Satoru Gojō, the one who was fed self-confidence at every spoon he took was stuttering in front of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He couldn't deny that. Every time he saw you, he was taken aback by your striking features. You were like a breath of fresh air, a breeze of delight, a face Renaissance painters would've fought over, an aura any person wanted to be close to. So when his tall body naturally swayed over yours he was surprised that you took a step back.
"What do you want," you said looking up to him under your long lashes, "from me."
If only he could wet those lashes— you snapped your fingers in his face. Satoru was pulled out of his trance and swiftly stopped your fingers, he took his chance and grasped your soft hand. You gasped and Satoru smirked.
"Hi?" He cocked his head slightly to the side.
You didn't reply.
"I think you're not incapacitated enough not to greet me, aren't you, lovely?"
"Hello," you roughly said, but Satoru could still hear that small stutter in your voice. "What do you want from me?"
"Nothing," he lied. "I just came from the administration, currently going to join friends."
"I didn't ask where you were going, I asked why you were here. The administration closed two good hours ago and all that time you were sitting over there," she pointed the bench Satoru was sat on.
"Is there a special rule that says I'm not allowed to sit around Campus? It's very pretty over here you know," Satoru replied with wit.
"There's a special rule against harassing and stalking people," you narrowed your eyes. "Heard about that one or do I need to introduce you to common sense?"
Satoru smirked, "I think I'm quite alright."
You huffed and were about to walk past by him but he stepped into your way. "Where are you going?" Why were you not clinging on to him for conversation? You did the same thing last time. It was as if you were avoiding him or were annoyed by him.
"I'm not doing this with you."
"Doing what? Talking? I'd say I'm pretty good company," Satoru nodded more to himself than anyone in particular. His self-reassurance was faltering, which was a foreign feeling he did not like.
"Oh, I agree," you said looking around. Some people were looking up your way, mostly the ones that had shared classes with Satoru or seen him around campus. "I think the entire campus agrees with you," you said under your breath.
"Jealous?"
You gave him a blank stare as if you had never heard of that feeling, you looked at him with no emotion, unaffected. A chill went down Satoru's spine.
"Sorry?"
"You're jealous because I didn't come up to you?" Satoru wasn't sure if he was affirming or omitting theories. His words sounded dangerously intelligible. "You know... jealousy. Almost the same as envy."
"I am aware of what jealousy stands for, thank you very much. Although, I am far from that sentiment, why would I be jealous of you?"
"Not of me, over me." Satoru felt himself sweating under your glare. Was he annoying you?
"Why?"
Why what? Wasn't it obvious? Wasn't his presence enough to induce envy in every person staring his way? "I do not understand your question, y/n." Your shifted in your shoes when you heard your name on his lips.
"Why would I be jealous over a pervert that stares at women in skirts for four hours."
"It has not been four hours," he gasped, touching his chest maybe or slightly offended, "and I wasn't staring at women in skirts. They were staring at me!"
"It has. And also? You just admitted to sitting there all this time. Why were you staring at me?"
"I just happened to sit there," Satoru had never stopped holding your hand. He held your wrist between his slender fingers and slightly turned your palm down to check your watch. Oh, it had indeed been four hours. Still, he lied, completely embarrassed. Was there some kind of hour change or solstice going one? Four hours seemed a lot... but also not enough to look at you. "I don't know why you are getting so worked up and making a scene. I just happened to sit there for a break, some me time."
"I am not making a scene, actually," you tried to retrieve your wrist from his hold but his fingers closed around your wrist. His hold seemed stronger and you could feel his rings dig into your skin. "You could let me go and I will be out of your way, Kakashi."
Satoru ignored the use of his pseudonyme, lost in your eyes as they got fiery by each word you spoke. "Do you want me to stare at you, y/n? Is that why you're upset?"
"Huh?" You had the feeling that he was completely ignoring your words. You were partly right. He was listening to you, although not to understand what you said but more to hear the sound of your voice. His memory was so good, he could recall you moaning out filthy words with roughly the same tone.
"Do you want me to stare at you? I have seen you, in more ways than one. Wouldn't take you for a voyeur but... who knows?"
"You weirdo!" This time you pushed him, taken aback, he let your wrist go.
"You haven't been thinking about it? Maybe that's why you want me to see you so bad, to look at you, to envision you."
"About what?" You massaged your wrist where he was holding you, you could feel the imprints of his rings on your skin. Your fingers fluttered, feeling dizzy as thoughts began to flood your mind. You could not forget that it had taken weeks for his hand marks to vanish from your body. You couldn't forget that you had tried to replicate his chokehold with your own hands.
"Us."
You laughed. "Us before or after I learned that your last name was Gojo?"
Satoru froze, that was only a detail to him but to you, it was everything. It was something you couldn't forget.
"Who cares?" Satoru's carelessness amazed you.
"Nobara cares, you know? Your sister? My best friend!"
"Did you tell her what we—" Satoru never panicked easily but the mention of his sister got his heart racing.
"No, I'm not dumb."
"But very impulsive--" Satoru finished.
"Look at the one who is talking." You rolled your eyes, trying to walk away from this man-child. There was no discussing with him and you weren't even allowed to, not anymore, not after the warning your parents gave you.
"If you didn't tell her, then what's the biggy? Why are you so worked up?"
"You think all of this is a game, do you? My life could be ruined by this simple interaction, I do not want you talking to me."
"I don't know what you're taking about but--" he held you back, "I want to understand."
"Kakash--"
"Satoru."
"I can't use your name--"
"S A T O R U", he insisted, "Satoru. Let's start by referring me by the correct name pretty." He smirked, trying to be heard. He had the feeling he had been locked out of you, no, that he was never inside.
"Of course you don't get it, you don't care because it doesn't matter. Everything is a game to you."
Satoru had never been more confused in his life and the way you were frowning meant that it was serious. He took a step closer, barging into your space, taking off his glasses. He cupped your face, inhaling your scent and exhaling softly against your cheeks with a shiver. He forced you to make eye contact after he took in every tait of your face that assembled to distinguish you from anyone else.
"Let's talk through this, yeah? I do not know what you are talking about but let's talk about this tonight."
You were lost in his deep blues, fuck, you cursed. "Are you going to use those blues to blind me, Satoru?"
Satoru smiled, way too close to your mouth, way too close to your heart.
"I will do anything that would blind the world, except me, from your sight."
Satoru almost closed the gap between you two, feeling you more responsive than you had ever been during this conversation.
He was touching you, his soft hands against your round cheeks— warmth. You were so warm. Like sunlight embraced him, he felt as if he just sprung back to life, sprouting with joy. Satoru couldn't erase the smile that was stretching across his face; he did not even realise that he was looking at you as if you were the source of life.
But others saw.
Suddenly, he was pulled back and then an arm snaked around his shoulder. Satoru felt startled. After finally making some progress, one moment you were inches apart, the second you were wearing a cold mask again and stepping further away from him. He tried to make eye contact with you, scared of what he could find in the depth of your gaze. Your internal walls were at their all time high again, your arms crossed, staring at the man behind him. The only person that could touch Satoru so carelessly, the one that played with Satoru's heart so carelessly.
"What are we so worked up about Princess? I just saved your life from kissing the worst guy you could chose." He chuckled under his breath, "I'm speaking from experience."
"Oh look, the other half of your last functioning neuron." You said seemingly recognising Geto which got both of Satoru and his best-friend confused.
"Have I met you? Most of the time people at least introduce themselves before insulting me, especially juniors."
"I don't think so and let's keep it at that." You did not even reciprocate the look Satoru was giving you. While he was pleading you with his eyes to stay, you immediately left the grounds. You joined your chauffeur who was already standing out of his car and the person's stance gave Satoru flashbacks.
"You chose a very pretty one this time, Satoru", Suguru almost whispered against Satoru's ear.
Satoru freed himself from Suguru's grip, Suguru was holding him as if he was scared he'd run after you. Instead, Satoru looked at you, gracefully swaying your hips, admiring how well you carried yourself and got in the car before driving off.
"Did Ijichi send you to cockblock me now?" Satoru gritted between his teeth, himself also walking towards his chauffeur. Suguru followed him, you were both headed the same way either way, the airport.
Satoru felt uneasy, suddenly thinking of the promise he had made to you. Y/n had not said yes about meeting him tonight but you did not push him away or express discontent either— apparently. Satoru enjoyed being delusional. Although, just in case you would call him he should cancel his flight, right?
You would call him back right? Do you even have his number, still?
"Nope," Suguru popped his 'p' more than necessary. "But I was there during the last full moon meeting with the elders..."
"Repenting your sins or whatever they said you should do. Have you been caught getting your dick sucked by a guy, again?"
"It wasn't you this time, so I didn't get into much trouble." Suguru stuck his tongue out teasing Satoru who was still frustrated from his kiss getting stolen. "Yaga send me a message, he told me we should assist to the next meeting. I knew you wouldn't come, I went there myself just to see what those monkeys were so loud about this time."
"Had some fun rekindling with our principal? Couldn't you tell me this after--"
"After you put this girl on death row? I told her, I saved her life by stopping your snogging."
Satoru froze, suddenly impossible to move. But he regained his senses, a bit later than he should've, Suguru had already noticed. He took note of Satoru's reaction with a sigh and shook his head.
"Do not say bullshit."
"Because of you, they had us recite every rule written in that damn protocol."
"Must've been fun." Satoru said sarcastically.
"Yeah, especially when they mentioned how our accomplices, a part of our jujutsu society or not could be punished for our misdeeds. Very, very fun. Don't you think?"
Satoru stopped walking, "what did you say?"
"Yes, the head added a new rule to Shibari."
"Why?"
"What do you mean why?" Suguru grunted, passing in front of his best friend. "Because someone had been seen flirting with someone they didn't honourably claim. That someone being a potential successor of the clan may also be a hint of why."
"They changed the rule because I didn't put a claim on --" Satoru was taken aback he couldn't even dare say your name. Shibari was a very ancient rule that no one had modified in centuries, he knew so because he had checked, several times.
"Why do you seem surprised?"
"But I don't have to respect Shibari since I won't be the clan's next head, Yuta--"
"They don't want Yuta," Suguru said rolling his eyes. "You must have known that. Stop being dense." He felt as if Satoru was being dense on purpose.
"Suguru..." Satoru did not understand why Suguru was bothering him with all of this. Why should he care about the elders— the elders were the one that drove them two apart.
"I have felt and witness you refusing to love."
"That is not fair, that is not how it happened Suguru. You refuse to talk about it because you stay enclosed in your shell."
"Me in a shell and you in a palace then. Satoru, although you may be a god you are filled with nothing but selfishness. Do you think you can embrace someone else? You are hiding behind the infinite distance you put between yourself and the rest of us, pitiful mortals. Spare the girl." Suguru stretched before entering the SUV not sparring a glance at his former lover.
Lover was a strange word for Suguru, for he was sure Satoru did not feel that way. Could their story even be considered as love? The elders called it 'young men bonding and experiencing'. Suguru was an experience, kept around, tolerated because Satoru claimed him as his best friend. But the elders wanted to get rid of them, Suguru was well aware of that.
Then again, he could not leave Satoru alone amongst these monkeys... for now.
"Spare her? Kissing a girl is committing murder now, Suguru?" Satoru's eyes were dark but a sinister smile was on his lips. His best friend's words were starting to annoy him.
"Tes lèvres sont maudits, Satoru. Heartbreak can cause a lot more damage than you think. One could even lose their mind."
Satoru scoffed, "nonsense. What are you talking about. I don't feel anything special for her, it is just lust. A heartbreak? That will not happen to me."
"No, it will not. Because no one is worth loving but yourself."
"Suguru—!" Satoru frowned at that.
"Since you are so mighty, one day... I pray that one day..." Suguru shook his head, playing with the three glass little spheres in his hand. "Your pain will be so agonising that you will abandon sight to not face it."
"Is that what you felt when I—"
"Who knows..." Suguru shut the conversation down by clinking his spheres together. "Get in, Nanami and Shoko are waiting."
_______________________
5/???
Heyyyy 👀 how you doingggg heheh 😝
Pls don't fight me I've been going through life. 🏳️
This chapter has been sleeping in my drafts since I started this book (way too long ago LMAO). No smut 😔... since most of y'all are here for that, my bad (not really, go heal or sumn #abstinenceorhell 🤨). This chapter is shorter than the other because the people actually talk here and don't only jump on each other's bones (booohhhh, I suck I know 🍅🍅)
More importantly. what do we think of my introspection of Gojo : the glimpse of his upbringing and how he currently interacts with / thinks about people?
And do you see the foreshadowing and the plot? Any ideas on who Aslan is? 🤭
Also, yes I made SatoSugu with a tiny bit of angst but only a tiny bit. I could do so much more but this is not their fic. (This is actually the only time you'll read them almost talking about their past as lovers)
I think I wrote some of my favourite
passages in here, especially when Satoru compares y/n to the sun in a million different images/metaphors. Or when he says "he had tasted life on her breath with each stroke of his tongue"... MAD.
We don't mention the fact that he sprays y/n perfume on his covers or that he stared at her non-stop during 4 hours in public— on campus— wtf he's so embarrassing
Take care of yourselves and good luck during this second semester y'all!
Lots of love,
D.