Angel had lied straight to his fucking face. She had not even blinked when she said she would behave.
It was a lie.
She is not behaving.
The insane woman is currently throwing knives at a man spinning around on a wooden turn table. She is not very good at it because he has two knives buried in his thigh. The man is so high he feels nothing and congratulates her on her keen aim as she doubles over in laughter then closes one eye and aims another knife at him. Austin can tell it will go straight into his hand. But, as long as it's not her on the turn table he will watch silently, disapprovingly, but silently nonetheless - he picks his battles when it comes to Angel.
"My bad!" Angel shouts as the knife nails the man's hand to the turn table. "You are all good, Angel. Nice throw!" the man calls back, laughing. Austin is not sure if he is laughing out of joy or shock. "Look, I am just going to say this out loud - I don't think I am very good at this," Angel says to the group of people around her. They all groan and shake their heads, a chorus of denial falling from their drunk lips. "You are all very kind," Angel says smiling then puts her glass down - Austin is not sure what's in it but he can see the alcohol fumes from where he is standing. "My turn!" Angel announces and walks towards the turn table.
"Nope," Austin deadpans, grabbing her hand and pulling her to his side. "Oh, you big baby! It will be fine. Lynsey is a pro knife thrower," Angel says. Austin looks over at Lynsey who is stroking the knives on the table as if they were puppies - she is also asking them what their names are. Austin thinks she is sober, therein lies the problem. Everyone here, including Angel, is batshit crazy. "No," Austin says tightening his grip on Angel as she wriggles. He knows she won't back down, she never does so he takes the knives from Lynsey and lets Angel go.
"Go on then," he challenges her. Most women would get a little nervous with the way he is staring her down, but not Angel. She squeals in excitement then rushes over to the turning table and gets some famous guy to strap her up. "Spin me, Jarrod!" she shouts once he is done. Austin sighs and watches as Jarrod pulls down hard on the spin table, sending Angel into a blurry frenzy. Austin listens carefully to where her giggle is coming from so he knows where her head is, he calculates where the rest of her limbs are from there then throws five knives at her, one after another - he can hear when they all hit the board. He has not touched her. Of course he would not have - his aim is impeccable.
The crowd around him all grow silent as they watch Angel come to a slow stop on the spinning table. Each knife he had thrown is jammed into the wood perfectly between her limbs and either side of her head. The crowd stays silent for a second and then roars as they clink their glasses together. "You are amazing!" Angel says looking at each of the knives. "Do it again!" she demands. Austin shakes his head and walks over to her, he will keep her strapped while he talks - it's the only chance he has of keeping her in one place.
"We are done now, Miss Knite."
"What? Why? I have behaved all night!"
"When?"
"Austin you just threw a shit ton of knives at me. That was very irresponsible! You are out of control!"
"You fucked around with a flame thrower five minutes ago."
"Yes, but I didn't set anyone alight."
Austin sighs heavily. This entire party is ridiculous. In the backyard, around the pool, is a circus - a real circus with acrobatics, aerial acts, a contortionist, and clowns walking around on stilts. Juggling, plate spinning, and an asshole rolling around in a globe. There is an elephant and a fucking lion, monkeys too.
Inside is no better with fucking knife throwing, fire eating, sword swallowing, and a short fat man convincing anyone insane enough to partake in being shot out of his cannon as human cannonballs - Angel has been eyeing it. There are drugs on every shelf, liquor on every table, and people fucking in corners. Angel's father is BBQing ribs and her mother has started a poker tournament in the dining room under the painted ceiling of them fucking. The buy-in is five hundred thousand - everyone has brought cash so there is five million dollars sitting in the middle of the dining table.
Everyone is high, drunk, and not on the guest list.
Phoebe is fine because she has started a painting class and has taken over the kitchen as they paint flowers on the kitchen cabinets. He has assigned Brice to watch her like a fucking hawk and make sure no one fucks with her. But, Angel is out of control and her short attention span has her wandering off in a blink of an eye. It's now 5 am and it looks like the party has no intention of dying down anytime soon. Austin suspects the party will go on for days.
Angel has consumed enough alcohol to drown a small town but it seems to have no affected her - she could walk a straight line.
"I will go if you promise to give me my treat."
"You are drunk."
"Sir! I am offended! Unhand me!"
"I am not touching you."
Angel pouts and turns her head away from Austin. How has this become his life? Angel has driven him insane all night, but now that she is upset with him he finds he cares. Maybe he is as insane as everyone else here. He steps forward and unties her, pulling her into his arms and running his lips along her neck. "Don't be mad," he mumbles into her skin before he bites down on it softly. "I am mad," she says, but it does not stop her from climbing on him and eventually landing on his back. Again, how is this his fucking life?
"Ribs, please," she mumbles now sucking on his neck. What he should do is turn around and take her home. But the woman wants ribs and he is pathetically soft for her. Austin sidesteps the jelly-filled wrestling ring but gets jelly on his cheek that Angel licks up.
"Don't eat that. You don't know where it's been."
"I know where it's been."
There is no winning with this woman. They find Axel outside with a beer in one hand and BBQ tongs in the other while he turns his ribs.
"Hello, Father!"
"Angel! I was just coming to find you. You wanna go bowling with me?"
"Yes!" Angel says wriggling around on Austin's back until he puts her down gently. "It's safe," Axel says to Austin as he takes Angel's hand. Austin doubts that very much and takes Angel's hand back from him. She is his. They walk back through the house and out to the front yard. Austin was right - there is nothing safe about the 'bowling' Axel was talking about. It's not bowling and now he knows what the wrecking ball cranes are for.
There are two wrecking ball cranes and in front of each of them are fifteen cars stacked in a pyramid. "The aim is simple...bash the fuck out of those cars. The first one with no cars left wins," Axel says. Austin can feel the heat of the crowd behind him, turning his head he can see the entire house file out into the front yard. It's not safe, there will be flying metal and he knows no one will give a fuck. "Relax, they will duck and I will be safe inside the crane," Angel says when she sees his perplexed face. "Please," she begs, clasping her hand in front of her. She is asking him for permission? What world has he stepped into? Angel does what Angel does - now only with his permission?
He should be happy, she would be easier to control - but he is not happy. Because he can't fucking deny her anything. So none of his problems are solved. "Alright," Austin says, regretting his submission when Angel and Axel clap their hands as they jump up and down with glee. "You are the best bodyguard in the world!" Axel says then turns and runs to his crane. "Oooh!" Angel shouts, turns, and runs to her crane. Austin sighs again then walks over to Angel's crane. He said she can do it but he won't let her do it alone.
He climbs up the crane after her, she does not detest him - she knew he would come. She pats the chair and then sits on his lap when he sits down.
"Do you know what you are doing?"
"Yes," Angel says then starts pressing buttons and pulling levers. She has no idea what she is doing and her solution is to press all the buttons she sees - this is the logic he is working with.
"Stop. Press the red button."
"I watch movies, Austin - never press the red button."
"Press the red button, Miss Knite."
Angle rolls her eyes at him and then presses the red button the engine roars to life immediately. "Oh, you are so clever! How did you know that?" Angel squeals, wrapping her arms around his neck. "There is a sticker above it that says start engine..." Austin points out. Logic.
Angel jumps in his arms when there is a loud bang and when they both look Axel has bashed down the first car in his pyramid while the partygoers cheer. "He is winning!" Angel shouts over the deafening sound of the engines and crowd. Austin should put a stop to this and take her home, it's dangerous and he has no control over who is coming in and out of this fucking party. But, right now they are enclosed in this crane and she looks so desperate to win so against his better judgment he reaches out and grabs the two leavers that control the wrecking ball. Angel settles further into his lap and rests her head on his chest as he sends the ball flying into the first car.
It's loud when the ball connects to the car and then Austin watches silently as the car goes flying, taking out the fountain in the front yard. He should not have enjoyed that as much as he did - it's fucking insane - but electrifying at the same time. He pulls back the ball and sends the next two cars flying, the cars sound like they are crying as the ball rips the metal apart. He keeps his ball controlled, every swing calculated and precise. Axel on the other hand has his ball swinging like a fucking like an uncontrolled loon, he takes out the side of his garage and one of Austin's cars.
Bits of metal, cars, balls, and rubble are flying everywhere as partygoers duck and hide where they can - but they continue to cheer. Austin wins, of course, and then he watches as Axel takes out a very expensive-looking helicopter one of his guests arrived in. No one seems upset by it as they all continue to cheer. Once the dust and smoke have settled everyone turns and heads back inside as if they had not just watched two wrecking balls destroy the front yard, it's fucking insanity. Angel has been very quiet and so Austin looks down to see she has fallen asleep.
"Hey, you done being irresponsible? I don't want you to be a bad influence on Angel," Phoebe says from the crane steps. "We are leaving now, get her bird," Austin says to her. "And you, get the car," he says turning to Brice. He knows Angel has hired him, he does not want him around but if it means more protection for Angel he will take it. He waits in the crane while Phoebe and Brice do as he instructs. Then he climbs out carefully, sure not to wake the ticking time bomb in his arms, and places her carefully in the back of the car as her bird settles on her hip.
"Hey, I would warn you to look after my girl but you have it covered. She is the best thing about this world," Axel says coming up to the car. "Never thought I would ever find myself saying this, Axel, but, I agree with you," Austin says climbing into the back seat next to Angel. "Get us the fuck out of here," he mumbles, watching the sun start to rise as Brice speeds away from the madness.