It was as if after Siya's yes, a catalyst sped up the process. The dates for the wedding out, everything already getting finalised. The announcement of the wedding not out yet, but definitely the continuous coming and going of the royal family was a sure sign big enough for the neighborhood to be suspicious.
Even when Parvati didn't like Siya one bit, she knew her son would be happy, hearing the news. Regarding how much Yuvraaj loved his little dove, how he spent countless nights under the star imagining her face and smile, imagining her love everybody had thought he would be over the moon when the news was dropped.
Even Rajveer along with his sons had accepted Siya into their family with only one word from Yuvraaj. But disappointingly so, when Yuvraaj heard the words, only a flash of pain passes his eyes as he gave a quiet soft smile to his mother thanking her.
Even after that, Yuvraaj isolated himself far more than regularly, making Parvati worried. He would come back home late, work all day long sometimes even skipping his sleep. Why did it seem he was upset with the wedding?
Even when the whole family had went ahead to meet Siya's family, Yuvraaj made excuse of working which made Nishant frown displeased. What kind of man was his boss? Even when he is about to marry a lady, he couldn't care less.
With such though, Nishant again started pestering Siya to rethink the Marriage.
Siya on the other hand didn't budge from her decision, this marriage meant alot to her family, her mother. Even when the news was released every body in her family had been delighted except her brothers. The marriage date was fixed with in a month as both the families ushered into the wedding without feeling it necessary to consult the bride or the groom.
Whilst Siya's emotional behaviour was of no surprise to the family, Yuvraaj's silence and passive attitude struck them like lightening.
Yuvraaj sighed, his eyes holding tiredness in them but it seemed as if he was determined drowning in the work. Siya's face lighting up in his memories making him close his eyes, leaning back in his chair. A dull ache present in his chest, as he was reminded of her crying face. Yeh kya karrahi hai aap, Siya?
Thoughts tormenting his mind, he took in a deep breath. With a sweet smile, she stared back at him and the dull ache intensified into blooming pain. She'd hate me forever.
"Hukum!"
Yuvraaj opened his eyes, frowning as he looked at Dhiraj who had entered with a barreling force. He breathed heavily, as he looked at Yuvraaj. His expression exhausted but filled with excitement that made Yuvraaj raise an eyebrow at him. Dhiraj calmed himself down, speaking with excitement evident. "Hukum, Ms. Sharma is here."
Yuvraaj froze, his expression stiffening. His heart halting before speeding up as it never did, he felt something weird in his heart. With difficulty, he composed himself, his expression reflecting his turmoil as Dhiraj smiled at him. "Escort her in."
The words foreign to his tounge, as he straightened up. His heart in a clash with his mind, he found himself tense. After weeks, without seeing her, days after ignoring everything having to do with her.
He had been running, rubbing from the wedding which his heart craved more than anything else. His eyes desiring the face that he had been denying it for long excruciating time. This wasn't the time. He decided.
An ugly feeling rearing it's head up, in his heart. His hands clenched, when she entered the room. Her head looking down, and he took in a deep breath. As if after days he finally breathed. At that moment, somehow he realised he couldn't have stayed away from her, even if she didn't show up until then.
His heart realising that it might have been pumping the blood, but never truly beat until he saw her.
And when her head lifted up, to see him the feeling that seemed far too bitter spread like wildfire in his chest. Red rims, pale face and a 12 'o clock shadow, he found it hard to breath. This. This was what he had been trying to avoid.
He drowned in guilt, regret that made him clench his hand harder, almost drawing blood. "Siya?" His words were a soft wind against her ears, as he stood up from his place walking towards the edge of the table. But he didn't walk ahead, he just stood there.
Siya looked down, nodded, speaking up in a soft voice. "Rana Sa didn't come to visit when your family did?" Hearing her words, pain flashed his eyes but he smiled speaking up, in a voice that reflected only the sweet notes of his love, "Because you didn't want me to."
Siya's hands clenched, but she didn't deny making the painful smile spread on his face as he nodded.
How could he visit her? When he knew how much she was hurting? That night, despite everything Siya had said asking her parents for a marriage might as well had been the most difficult think Rana Sa Yuvraaj Rajveer Singh Chauhan did in his life.
He pushed for a marriage he knew Siya could never accept with her own heart. This wasn't how he had imagined marrying her, her hurting because of him wasn't what he wanted for his little dove.
Yet he wasn't ready for her to be disrespected by anyone. She was to be a queen, and must be treated like one. He knew the people, the society and their hunger for other's misery. How could he let her be insulted?
The only thing that could ever ensure Siya's respect and dignity was a marriage. With Siya under his protection, not one eye could be raised upto meet her. It killed Yuvraaj to see those tears in her eyes, but he would rather die than let a single disrespect stain her in his presence. A title as Raani Sa of the whole Rajasthan, none would dare to say anything to her.
The only reason, why he even proposed the marriage was only for Siya's benefit. At what cost though?
A bitter feeling wrapped up in his chest, he knew Siya would hate him, despise his presence because of the wedding. Hell, even he himself hated him for forcing her into this marriage. Yuvraaj knew from the start, that Siya would never willingly agree to this, never want to marry Yuvraaj. Yet he also knew that they wouldn't dare decline.
He had been surprised when Nishant and Indar had suddenly offered their resignation letter, a comfort filling his heart as he realised just how much Siya meant to them that they were ready to sacrifice their career for their sister. Ofcourse he denied it, and only a few days later Siya's acceptance rang his ears.
He knew his Maa Sa had something to do with it, he could never be stupid enough to leave her place unprotected.
When his Maa Sa reached her doorsteps, it had already reached his ears. That was the final nail, fixing this marriage. Yet when they visited Siya, and for any of the rituals that he could escape he dodged them all. Knowing his Siya was hurting, know she was hurt, how could he go there and act as if it didn't kill him hurting her like that? He respected Siya's parents, but he also knew if only for this marriage her mother wouldn't hurt her, the marriage would be his way of protecting her.
With her marrying into royalty, she would be seen as the pillar elevating their status. A way Aradhya would forget her so called crumbled reputation.
But visiting her continuously and inflicting wounds on her already bruised heart, he couldn't bring himself to hurt her any further than he already had. So he ignored her, acting as if his presence didn't even exist if only it let her escape the reality even for a few days.
He also couldn't dare to stare in her eyes, without the guilt eating him up for taking away her right of a free and happy wedding she would have willingly.
Somehow, in his own twisted way, Yuvraaj wished to protect his little dove as much as he could.
Siya looked up nodding, as she whispered her words filled with fear that ripped his heart to shreds. "I...have a few requests for Rana Sa."
Yuvraaj nodded, his voice soft. "Have a seat, please Siya." Siya nodded, walking up. Flinching when Yuvraaj pulled back a chair for her, making his heart clench but he didn't wipe his smile. He took his own seat opposite to her, with his hands open on the table. "Ji, kya chahti hai Aap?"
His voice was comforting, which made Siya look up. An angry flicker in her gaze, that Yuvraaj catched with a bleeding heart. She definitely would hate him forever.
"Freedom." Her words were harsh, as compared to a few seconds earlier, which made Yuvraaj stiffen but he stared at her nodding. His voice serious, "Granted."
Siya felt at a loss for words, as Yuvraaj without a single word granted her request making her feel a little less gaurded. Her expression relaxing, her shoulders straightening. His presence far too comforting and securing than she liked to believe.
Her eyebrows raising, she questioned curiously, "You are not going to ask for what?" Yuvraaj smiled shaking his head, his eyes never leaving her face.
"Aapki zindagi aapki hai Siya, it shouldn't even have been a question. Rajasthan ki Raani Sa hai aap, aapko rok ne waala Mai kaun hota hu?"
His words made her heart skip a beat, before she felt herself sneer. Taking away her biggest form of freedom, how could he even act as if he respected her?
Her next words came rather harsher than she intended. "I wish to continue my studies." Yuvraaj nodded instantly, "I can arrange for that." Siya raised an eyebrow, "What if I wish to study in my previous college?" Ofcourse she couldn't, she knew her parents won't allow it. No matter what it was, she was getting married, she couldn't study there.
Yuvraaj stiffened, and his expression brought some triumph in Siya. He suddenly sighed, looking at her tired and for the first time Siya noticed the dark circles yet was unaffected. He moved forward, grabbing her hand making her freeze. He stared at her with a soft face, he spoke sincerely, "Siya, mai aapko rok nahi sakta par...," He looked down conflicted as he explained, "Siya, shaadi ke baad aap Rani Sa ke naam se jaani jayengi."
The words draining any colour left in Siya's face, and Yuvraaj spoke, "Agar aap wahan padhengi toh fir..., I wouldn't be there to protect you Siya."
She was quick to refute, "I don't need you to protect me." Yuvraaj smiled, "I don't. But I will."
He tried making her understand, "Little dove, with the power and status comes hostility for the bearer, I don't want you to be hurt." Siya frowned, "I don't want the power nor the status." Stubbornly she stared down at him, pushing him to his limit.
"Mai aapko rok nahi sakta Siya..., but I request you to please reconsider. Aapko Mai yaha pe woh saari facilities available karwa sakta hu, Jo aapke liye zaruri hai. After that...," He sighed defeated, "I leave the choice to you."
Siya thought for a while, before nodding. Her family was still here.
"I accept."
Yuvraaj smiled, thanking her silently. Siya turned away, her expression blank as she ignored him coldly. Her expression relaxing more, before her face turned gaurded again, she looked at Yuvraaj, "I...," She seemed at a loss of words, and retracted her hands from Yuvraaj's hold.
Yuvraaj was patient as he stared at her, struggling to say the words that she wished to, and Siya exhaled irritated. When she looked at Yuvraaj, her face was stern and serious.
She spoke up, "Rana sa...,"
"Ji?"
"I don't love you. I don't want to be...," Her words were like a bullet to Yuvraaj's chest as he stared at her cold expression, as she said the next words, "I don't want you to force me for anything that I am not ready for."
Yuvraaj's jaw clenched, at her suggestion. He was not a fucking rapist.
With or without her clarification, he never would've touched her without her permission, yet he knew it was his own fault she thought so. Forcing her into a marriage, wouldn't she expect an abusive husband?
He nodded, "I promise not to do anything that dishonours, disrespects you or bring you any slight discomfort."
After all it wasn't her body he was after.
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For taking this long to update I am so sorry, I'll be posting two chapters to make up for it.
These days have been getting pretty hard for me. My grandpa has just been given a last date and due to his health issues I couldn't continue with the story. So many people waited and reached out to me but I didn't have the energy to reply or read the messages and I am so sorry.
Even my studies were affected. I had been having continuous test due to which I couldn't work and for that I apologise. It was wrong of me to leave you guys up like that. I am sorry, Aesthetephilist.
Love you.