By some stroke of luck, Zara sent me off on cleaning duty while she supervised the filming by herself. I didn't know how I would fare watching Sienna and Theo kiss if I was being honest with myself. It made me want to bang my head against the wooden picnic table I was bent under, double-checking to make sure no trash was left behind.
My plan of reigning my feelings for Theo wasn't going as well as I hoped it would, even after his vehement reaction to thinking I had feelings for him. Any normal, sane person would move on, but I found it difficult to. I wasn't even sure I liked Theo. What was concerning was that I found him attractive.
I sighed, straightening out, a shout of surprise escaping my lips as Rowan appeared at my side, her eyebrows raised. "Anything fun under there?"
"I'm just checking for trash," I said. "And don't point at me and say it's right here," I added dryly as I saw her hand twitch.
"You're starting to know me too well," she responded with a smirk.
I hunched my shoulders, reaching for my crutches, ready to move to the next table. "How come you're here and not with Theo?"
"I don't like watching him film romantic scenes," she replied.
Me, either, apparently. But was Rowan's reason the same as mine? I frowned, a pang of jealousy shooting through me. Another annoying side effect of this stupid attraction. I started walking away, awkwardly using the crutches.
"You seem agitated," Rowan said. "What's up?"
"Nothing."
"Is it because of me?"
I threw a look back at her, seeing her frowning back at me. "Huh?"
"I don't know, you always just seem to tense up around me. Ever since we met."
"I mean, I guess it's kind of a natural instinct?"
Her eyes narrowed a bit. "What do you mean by that?"
Where was this coming from? I paused, thinking about how Theo had said Rowan thought I'd be more comfortable with him than her. Had something happened to make her think that? "You have to admit you're intimidating," I said.
She pursed her lips at me. "Intimidating, huh? That's how you want to put it? What makes me so intimidating to you?"
What was up with her? Did she really not know why I felt that way? Did she ever look in a mirror? "Partly because of the way you always tease me," I started, feeling a little embarrassed, "but mostly because you're really pretty."
She blinked. Then blinked again. "...Huh?"
"Don't make me repeat it," I muttered.
"You think I'm intimidating... because I'm pretty? That's the reason you sometimes act like I'm going to attack you?"
My face flushed. "Well, come on. You have to know how good-looking you are! I don't know what to do with myself sometimes."
She barked out a laugh, her hand shooting to her mouth to cover it. "Wow, you're actually serious, aren't you?" Another snicker passed through her lips, her hand barely muffling it. "Wow."
"It's not funny!"
"I thought it was because of something else," she told me, still grinning.
"Is that also why you thought I wouldn't want to stay with you last night?" I asked. "Because, I assure you, I feel the same way about staying with you as I do with Theo."
Although I was sure Rowan would have spent the night teasing me rather than telling me to wake her up if I got scared...
The humor on Rowan's face disappeared and she slid her hands into her jeans' pockets. "Yeah, well. Maybe I got too into my head."
"About what?"
"You really don't know?" she asked, not sarcastically, but in genuine realization. "Huh." She then shrugged to herself. "Well, it's not really your business, anyway."
I stared at her. "Okay?"
She slapped an arm over my shoulder, pulling me close to her side. "You know, you're actually kind of cute, Maisie."
I thought back to the past few days, realizing Rowan had stepped back a bit after that. "Oh," I said, it finally hitting me. "I know what this is about now. Are you annoyed about how I asked you and Theo not to interact with me on set? It's really not about either of you two. I just have anxiety."
She patted my shoulder. "Well, partly. I understand now, but that was still a bit rude of you to say."
"I really didn't mean it in a rude way. Just so you know," I told her, stopping by the next picnic table, sending her an apologetic look, then scanning the surrounding area for trash.
"Should I leave you alone?"
"No," I decided. "There aren't that many people around. And also, now I'm thinking I don't really care if there's attention on me with you guys around if the alternative is having your feelings hurt."
Rowan squeezed me closer to her side, almost making me lose my balance as my crutches fell sideways. "I wouldn't go that far as to say my feelings were hurt... but I appreciate it, nonetheless. However, it's really Theo who attracts attention, so you're fine with me."
"Again, I guess you don't realize how attractive you are," I said, grimacing.
"I've always been attractive, so I guess you're right. I never notice it."
"Wow."
She laughed, and we finished scouring the campground for trash together, not really finding any. It kind of made me proud, knowing everyone involved in the production cleaned up after themselves, and respected the property. After that we returned to the filming site, a little relief going through me as I realized they'd finished filming the kissing shots. Rowan and I stood back as they filmed the last bit of dialogue between Sienna and Theo for the scene, the sun beginning to sink in the sky.
Marco called it a wrap for the day right after they finished, the crew immediately beginning to disperse, and Rowan waved as we headed toward the dock, gaining Theo's attention as he started heading off of it with Sienna in tow.
Sienna suddenly tripped, falling hard into Theo's back with a startled scream, causing them both to lose their balance, sending them both off the edge of the dock and into the water. I barely had time to react before Rowan was shouting Theo's name, sprinting for the water. My feet moved before my brain caught up, following right up after her, the crutches falling to the ground, the pain in my ankle feeling nonexistent as instinct took over my body.
I didn't understand the panic right away. It couldn't be that deep there—
but then Rowan was yelling that Theo couldn't swim. Worried shouts followed after Rowan and I as we raced down the wooden boards of the dock, Rowan throwing herself right into the water without hesitation. I jumped in right after her, taken aback when my feet didn't touch the bottom at all, even as I sank for a second. Re-surfacing, I bee-lined for Sienna, her head and torso suddenly appearing at the surface, as if she'd been shoved upward, knowing Rowan would help Theo. Sienna sunk back down immediately, flailing around, and then drew herself to me as I grew close enough to grab her, nearly shoving my head under the surface as she scrambled to get a better purchase on me, wrapping her arms around my neck.
"Sienna, calm down," I told her, kicking my feet hard to tread, water getting in my mouth as she creates small waves around us. "Rowan?" I called, my head swiveling around. "Theo?"
"I'm fine," came Theo's voice, a sharp cough following it, and I glanced over to see Rowan helping him back over to the dock.
I nodded, nearly being shoved under again by Sienna, who couldn't wait two seconds to let me get a grip on the dock before she started using me as a stepping stool to reach Marco and the other crew members who were ready to pull her up. Her foot kicked me right in the face as she floundered as they hoisted her up and out of the water.
Ignoring the throbbing pain in my nose, I twisted in the water, seeing Rowan maneuver Theo closer to the dock, her hair soaked and sticking to her face. "Go," she ordered him.
Marco reached out for Theo and Theo shook his head. "Get Maisie first."
I almost couldn't believe my ears. "I know how to swim. You go."
"I'm fine, I'll get out myself—"
"Theo, take the help, and get out of the water right now," Rowan all but growled, shoving him through the water closer to Marco.
Marco, actually doing something helpful for once since the first time I met him, knelt down to grab Theo's arm, pulling him closer until the others could grab him too, heaving him out of the water. He then remained to help, offering me his hand, and I glanced at Rowan for a second, waiting until she nodded, and then let him and the others pull me out.
I knew I wasn't strong enough to help Rowan up, so I stepped back, turning to Sienna, who shook violently, someone's hoodie over her shoulders. Her lips quivered, her breaths coming out in shaky grasps. I moved closer to her, concerned. "Sienna, take a deep breath. You're okay."
Her teeth chattered as she shook her head. "I—"
"Can you recite your lines to me?" I asked her. "From the scene from earlier."
Her brows furrowed but she nodded, reciting the lines perfectly, then moving into the next scene, reading them off as if the script was in front of her. She slowly stopped shaking and I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to be comforting.
"Is everyone okay?" Director Ahn called loudly, her voice filled with worry, quickly checking on Sienna as she passed us. "Kenadee is on her way just in case. Where's Theo?"
I turned to check on Theo and Rowan who, although absolutely soaked, looked perfectly fine otherwise. If anything, Theo looked annoyed, his jaw set, arms pressed against his sides stiffly. Only Sienna seemed freaked out, falling silent, and I guided her off of the dock, deciding being away from the water would be the best thing for her.
"I don't know how to swim either," she eventually said, her head lowered. "I could have killed both Theo and me by tripping. I should have been paying more attention."
"Nothing bad would have happened," I assured her. "All these people are around. You saw how fast we reacted. It's fine. Don't think like that."
"It didn't even cross my mind that I could fall in. Not while filming. I would have told someone I can't swim."
"It's not the most secure place to film, though," I told her. "It's not your fault. It was an accident."
"Theo grabbed me and lifted me up in the water. He didn't even think of himself, he thought of me first."
I found my gaze wandering back to Theo, now off the dock as well, brushing his wet hair out of his face as Rowan seemed to scold him, her hands on her hips. "He wanted to make sure you were safe."
"When he grabbed me, his grip was so tight it hurt, and I swear he was shaking, but..." She trailed off, suddenly moving away from me.
I was confused until I saw Aliyah hurrying across the sand toward us. Sienna ran into her arms, hugging her tightly, and I figured she didn't need me to stay with her anymore, so I attempted to head back to Rowan and Theo, taking one step before sinking down onto the sand, my injured ankle finally having enough of my shit, and sending the sharpest pain through me.
"Maisie," a new voice said above me, and I turned to see Kenadee's unimpressed face. "Where are your crutches? You should be using them—you're risking making the strain worse by not."
I pointed to the spot I'd dropped them. "I have been using them, just not right at this second."
"Why are they—why are you soaked?" Her brows furrowed as her attention was drawn to my wet clothing. "Your wrap! I thought only Theo and Sienna fell in?"
"Can you help me change it?" I asked instead of explaining everything that had happened.
As I followed Kenadee to a better spot to sit, I contemplated my luck that I didn't injure my ankle further, and then how Rowan would end up getting to check off her Maisie-falls-into-the-lake bingo card, even though I'd technically jumped in.
Kenadee checked on Theo and Sienna first before coming back to patch me up. I went back to Theo's cabin to change into a dry pair of clothing, grateful I'd brought extra. I then packed up my few belongings scattered around, ready to go home, exhausted. As I did a sweep around the room, making sure Theo hadn't left behind anything either, the door swung open, and Theo himself came in, his clothing still dripping.
"Are you going to change?" I asked him, hiking my backpack over my shoulder.
He ignored me, going over to his suitcase, kneeling down in front of it, but not moving to open it.
I frowned. "Theo?"
"Sorry," he said, his voice quiet and rough, "but can you leave me alone?"
I took three steps toward the door before stopping. I knew Theo liked to keep to himself, and I knew I should have just left like he wanted me to, but something in his voice had me pivoting on my good heel, walking toward him instead. "If you tell me to leave again I will, but I want to stay."
He lifted his chin up to look at me as I stopped by his side. His jaw was clenched, hands balled into fists at his side. "Then I want you to know that I'm not upset at you."
I laid my crutches against the wall so I could kneel beside him, adjusting myself so I didn't put any pressure on my ankle. "You're upset about something? Is it about what just happened at the lake?"
"Yes."
I bit the inside of my cheek, hesitating. "Because you think you now owe anyone who helped you?" I guessed.
Theo's head jerked toward me in surprise, and I faced him, keeping my expression neutral. "It's part of it, yes," he divulged after a moment.
"It's not going to help if I say no one is going to think like that, right?"
His lips pinched together as he shook his head. "Right."
"Is owing someone so bad?" I asked, keeping my tone gentle.
"It is when it's used against you. Constantly. When it's always thrown in your face. Always used to guilt you into doing things you don't want to do." He shook his head again, his damp hair falling into his face, the water creating a slight curl to the ends of it. "To force you to be with someone."
I found myself reaching out to brush his hair away before I could stop myself. His eyes fluttered shut as I did so, a soft breath leaving his lips. Is that what had happened with his ex before? It made my stomach tighten. "This is a different situation."
"And so is you avoiding going to the hospital when you're injured."
He got me there. Sometimes trauma wasn't easily understood. I pulled my hand back to my lap as his brows began to narrow. "Who helped you?" I asked instead. "Not who was there on the dock. Who helped you out of the water?"
"Marco. Rowan, Jeremy," he listed. "You."
"That's all?"
"That's enough."
"Give Marco a compliment," I told him. "He'll run with it for the next ten years and never even remember this happened. He might even get it tattooed on him."
Theo opened his eyes again, and although his expression remained guarded, the corner of his mouth twitched in reluctant amusement.
I took it as a good sign.
"I don't know who Jeremy is, but—"
"He's a PA," Theo cut in.
"Well, you can thank him. Not just for helping you then, but for his help on set in general. I read that production assistants go through a lot, and I'm sure he'd love to have that acknowledged by you," I suggested. "Maybe even advocate for an extra break on a tough filming day."
Theo made a noncommittal noise.
I powered on. "As for Rowan, she's a special case, right? Technically it is her job to protect you. So she was just doing her job."
"Right," he agreed slowly.
"And I didn't help you at all, so you actually don't owe me anything," I said, trying not to feel jealous of Rowan. It wasn't the appropriate time. "In reality, you only owe two people. That's not too bad, right? Does having a game plan help at all?" I questioned, a tingling feeling creeping up my neck, wondering if I was over-stepping, or if he thought I was an idiot for even suggesting these things.
He flexed the fingers in his right hand before balling it back up into a fist. "Not exactly."
My shoulders sagged momentarily. "Oh." Then I straightened out again, nodding. "I get it, though. It's not that simple."
"Did you care?" he asked, gaze cutting toward me.
"Yes." I pulled at a loose thread sticking out of my leggings. "I mean, I would care if anyone fell in, not only you. When Rowan took off, I just kind of followed her on auto-pilot, especially after she said you couldn't swim. I couldn't stand there and do nothing."
"I meant did you care that so many people had their attention on us after you jumped in."
A heartbeat passed before I cringed, embarrassment washing through my body like ice water in stark contrast to the way my skin grew hot. "Oh. Um, no, not really." Thinking back on it now, it surprised me that I hadn't worried about it at all. "It actually didn't even cross my mind."
"Why is that?"
"I guess just like how I could climb the mountain in the dark, I was more worried about you and Sienna than anxious about having attention on me. I haven't even thought about it since, either," I responded, becoming a little bewildered as I realized I spoke the truth. I really didn't care who'd seen me, even though jumping into the lake definitely had drawn more attention to me than the crutches did. I hadn't felt even a little bit of anxiety. Only concern for Theo and Sienna.
"You say I don't owe you, but you still jumped in after me," Theo spoke. "You wanted to help me, even though it would draw attention to yourself."
I waved my hands in front of myself. "But I didn't actually do anything so you don't have to feel that way—"
"I don't."
My hands stopped in their tracks and I gave him a double-take. "You— what? You don't?"
"No." The tension seemed to seep from his body, and he angled himself to face me better, his knees pressing against mine as our gazes met. "I think...you're also a special case."
For all of one second, my heart fluttered, until comprehension dawned on me. He felt that way because he knew my secret. Right. I gave him a half-smile, feeling an odd mix of disappointment and comfort. "Then, is there anything this special case can do to make you feel better?"
"You've done enough," he murmured. "Thank you. It's...helped."
"Any time," I replied, going to pat his knee, but thinking twice about it, and quickly retracting my hand to my side. The intimateness of the moment started to get to me and I cleared my throat. "You should change. I'll step outside."
He nodded, and I took it as a good enough sign that he was feeling okay again, and attempted to climb to my feet without bothering my injured ankle, pausing to consider the best way to do it. Without a word, Theo pushed himself to his feet, offering me his hand. I took it and he easily pulled me up, helping me adjust the crutches under my armpits until I was balanced and comfortable. I started for the door, but before I could reach it, Theo's voice stopped me.
"Maisie."
I turned back to him. "Yeah?"
"Do you still want to go to dinner tomorrow?"
"Of course," I answered.
"Okay."
He didn't say more, so I started making my way out of the cabin again but glanced over my shoulder one more time at him. His attention had turned back to his suitcase, but I could still make out his face, and my heart skipped a beat as I noticed the small, soft smile on his lips.