Letter four: April
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Lily's voice trembled with surprise and confusion as she blurted out, "What are you doing here?"
A flicker of uncertainty crossed Marcus's face before he replied, "I thought I'd give it a try, you know? Thought it might be fun with two people..."
Lily thought she detected a faint smile, but it vanished as quickly as it appeared. Did he genuinely want to be friends?
"Oh," Lily murmured softly, a smile spreading across her face. "I'm glad, then."
Amanda, sensing the tension in the air, intervened. "Shall we go meet the puppies and kittens?" she suggested, seeking to ease the atmosphere.
Lily and Marcus were assigned to different areas of the shelter.
Lily found herself torn between disappointment and relief. She had yearned to spend time with Marcus, but his mere presence made her nervous, although she couldn't pinpoint why.
Despite being separated, Lily couldn't help but notice the occasional glances that passed between them. She wondered if it was merely her imagination playing tricks on her, or if there was something more. Hope fluttered in her heart, urging her to believe in the possibility.
As time passed, they became immersed in their respective tasks.
Lily soon discovered that while the kittens were undeniably adorable, they possessed an unruly nature.
They scratched and nibbled at her, prompting her to exclaim, "No, bad kittens!" A mischievous kitten even climbed up her leg, causing her to giggle amidst the chaos.
Meanwhile, Marcus had anticipated a smooth experience with the dogs, only to be faced with the daunting task of handling their waste. His face contorted in disgust as he grappled with the unpleasant task.
Exhausted by the end of the day, Lily and Marcus made their way home.
However, as fate would have it, they had forgotten that they lived on the same street.
Awkwardness tinged the air as they walked side by side, contemplating their unusual circumstances. Marcus thought of crossing to the other side of the street, but the idea seemed even more awkward.
Silence enveloped them, and the desire to break it hung palpably in the air.
Finally, Marcus broke the silence. "So... hard day, huh?"
Lily chuckled. "Is that your attempt at conversation?"
Marcus smirked, his charm melting Lily's heart. "Well, did I get busted that easily?"
"Uhh, I mean, I guess?" Lily stumbled over her words, her emotions bubbling to the surface.
Marcus burst into laughter, and Lily's laughter soon joined his. With their spirits lifted, they continued their walk, engaging in lighthearted banter until they reached their respective homes.
"I suppose it's goodbye for now," Lily said, a hint of longing in her voice.
"I guess so," Marcus replied, a trace of reluctance tugging at his words.
Both of them lingered, a silent plea hanging in the air, but neither found the courage to voice it.
Breaking the silence, Marcus spoke up. "Talk to you tomorrow."
"Yeah, see you tom—" Lily paused abruptly, the unfinished word catching in her throat. Did he just say "talk to you tomorrow"? The surprise took her by storm, yet it was entirely in line with the enigmatic nature of Marcus.
Time slipped by, and soon it was the following day. Lily rose from her slumber, washed her face, went through her morning stretches, and got dressed with a sense of purpose.
After a quick breakfast, she hurried off to school. Everything appeared normal, but the one thing that unsettled her was Davina's uncharacteristic silence. Her best friend seemed unusually quiet, and it gnawed at Lily's curiosity.
Unable to ignore the nagging feeling any longer, Lily approached Davina during lunchtime.
"What's wrong, Davina?" she asked, genuine concern etched on her face. Riley, too, seemed unusually somber, aware of the unspoken tension.
Davina glanced away, her voice barely above a whisper. "Nothing," she replied, avoiding eye contact.
Lily let out a sigh, realizing that progress wouldn't be made without a direct conversation. "We won't get anywhere if you don't tell me what's bothering you."
With a mix of frustration and hurt, Davina's emotions spilled forth. "You're never around anymore! You didn't answer your phone all weekend, and then I saw you with Marcus near the shelter! I was planning to surprise you, but instead, I saw the two of you together."
A jolt of realization coursed through Lily. Davina was jealous. Lily knew she had a thing for Marcus, but not to the point of where seeing them together would hurt her.
Lily grabbed Davina's wrist, leading her out of the crowded cafeteria. They needed privacy for this conversation. As they stepped away, curious eyes followed their every move.
Davina's words hung in the air, heavy with accusation. "You knew I had a crush on him!" she exclaimed, her frustration spilling over.
With a tinge of disbelief, Lily raised her voice, "You don't even talk to him. What kind of crush is that?"
Davina let out a frustrated sigh, her anger mixing with a sense of hurt. "I don't have to talk to him to like him," she retorted.
"But that's not the main issue here. The problem is that you've been distant lately. You never answer your phone, always lost in daydreams. It's as if you don't even notice your own friends anymore!"
Lily attempted to defend herself, but then she hesitated. Why did she feel the need to explain herself?
Frustration welled up within her, and she spoke her mind, "You know what? Why do I always have to be with you guys? Can't I hang out with other people?"
Davina's voice rose to a scream, her emotions spiraling out of control. "You can, but why do you always choose to hang out with him?" she cried.
The words slipped from Lily's lips, driven by an internal honesty she hadn't fully acknowledged until now. "Maybe I want to help him, I don't know, or maybe I just like being with him," she admitted.
Lily's words hung in the air, a raw confession drenched in uncertainty. Did she genuinely like being with Marcus, or was her desire to help him the primary motivation?
Davina scoffed, a mix of disbelief and frustration contorting her features. She couldn't fathom Lily's reasons.
"How can you help him when you can't even help your best friend?"
Davina's words cut through the tense atmosphere, her hand flying to her mouth as she realized the weight of what she had just said.
"What the hell?" Lily's voice quivered with agitation. "You know that's not fair."
Davina's tear-filled eyes pleaded for forgiveness. "I didn't mean it like that. It came out wrong. I meant—"
But before Davina could finish, Lily snapped, yanking her hand away. "It wasn't my fault," Lily pointed an accusatory finger at her friend. "And you know it."
Tears welled up in Lily's eyes, but her voice remained steady. "Two years ago, before I moved here, she... she took her own life. My best friend."
The weight of those words hung heavy in the air. "I thought I had moved on, but when I started painting again, that sadness, that emptiness, it always finds a way to creep back in. We both dreamt of becoming painters, and now, neither of us will ever have that chance."
Davina fell to her knees, her earlier anger replaced by remorse. She reached out, desperate for forgiveness.
Lily wiped away her tears, her voice filled with a mix of pain and determination. "Maybe you're right, maybe I want to help Marcus because I don't want to see anyone else suffer. Maybe I want to protect those close to me. But what I do, and who I choose to help, is for me to decide."
The words hung in the air, carrying a weight that echoed between them. In that moment, Lily realized that their friendship had reached a turning point, and it wasn't one she wanted to turn back from.
"I'm sorry, Lily," Davina choked out, her voice laced with regret.
With a heavy heart, Lily turned away, no longer interested in continuing the conversation. This time, it was Davina who reached out, grasping Lily's wrist, desperate to hold onto their friendship.
"No, wait!" Davina cried, tears streaming down her face. "I swear, it came out wrong. I didn't mean it like that."
But Lily had already made up her mind. "It wasn't my fault," she repeated, her voice filled with conviction.
Leaving Davina behind, Lily walked away, the echoes of their shattered friendship resounding in her ears. The impact of their fight reverberated within her, leaving an indelible mark on both their hearts.
Lily sprinted home, leaving behind her remaining classes, seeking comfort in the place that nowadays felt safe: the bench.
Her eyes, swollen from crying and the heated argument with Davina, grew heavy as weariness washed over her. Unbeknownst to her, she slipped into a deep sleep, oblivious to the passing time.
When she finally stirred, the darkness of the night enveloped her, and a surge of fear coursed through her veins.
Someone was by her side, or rather, she had rested her head on their lap. Startled, Lily gasped and hastily sat upright, only to discover that the person was Marcus.
How long had he been there? She wondered, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Words eluded her, but she didn't need to speak, as Marcus broke the silence.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his face etched with concern.
Lily replied with a halfhearted "Yes," aware that they both knew it wasn't the truth.
"I overheard your conversation," Marcus confessed, a tinge of remorse coloring his voice. "I was in the bathroom and happened to hear it. I'm sorry."
"It's fine," Lily muttered, a sense of defeat settling upon her. The day seemed determined to plunge her into deeper despair.
"Would you like to talk about it?" Marcus asked gently, his kindness shining through his words.
These days, Marcus had shown remarkable kindness, especially today, perhaps in light of what she had gone through. He was merely being sympathetic, she reasoned.
"Not really," Lily responded, retreating back to the bench.
They sat in silence, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Lily found herself once again resting her head against Marcus's lap, and his hand just seemed to instinctively find its place over her.
But a blush crept back onto Lily's cheeks when Marcus started gently stroking her hair.
The softness of his touch created a warm, fuzzy feeling that both comforted her and made her a little self-conscious.
As Marcus continued to run his fingers through her hair, Lily's heart started doing this little happy dance inside her chest. It was as if his touch was playing a love song that only her heart could hear.
"Davina likes you," Lily blurted out, her gaze shifting to meet Marcus's face.
"I can't like anyone right now," he replied, his tone laced with a hint of mystery.
Confusion clouded Lily's mind. How could he not like anyone? Why was he keeping such a secret?
"Why?" she whispered, her voice barely audible.
Marcus paused, as though pondering deeply about his response. Deep down, he knew he couldn't reveal the truth, as it would bring regret and turmoil into their newfound closeness.
"If you can have your secrets, I can have this one secret too," he said, his smirk shattering the intensity of the moment, injecting a dose of humor that pierced through the emotional tension.
Lily couldn't help but smile, appreciating the lightheartedness he brought to their conversation.
"Is that why you write so often?" Lily suddenly asked, a spark of curiosity igniting within her.
"Do you express your emotions through the poems you write, since you can't like someone?"
Marcus's smile widened, a reflection of the truth in her words.
From the time he was a young boy, he had carried a notebook—a faithful companion for his verses, stories, and fairy tales.
It was both his passion and his refuge, offering an outlet for self-expression when words failed him in the presence of others.
"Yeah, I've had the same notebook since I was six years old. Been writing poems ever since," Marcus replied, retrieving the weathered journal from his bag, adjusting his position as Lily found herself back resting on his lap.
"Can I see it?" Lily inquired, the desire to truly understand him growing stronger within her.
"You can touch it, but you can't open it," Marcus cautioned.
Lily's initial impulse was to protest, but she quickly realized that having the opportunity to hold the cherished journal was better than nothing at all.
With a nod of agreement, Marcus handed her the journal—a worn, brown leather-bound book that exuded a sense of history and care.
Its pages were slightly yellowed with age, revealing the countless words and emotions penned within.
As Lily perused the journal, her fingertips gliding over the supple leather and tracing the intricate patterns etched into its surface, a surge of emotions washed over her.
She sensed Marcus's vulnerability, his deepest thoughts and unspoken desires laid bare within these pages. It was as if she held a key to his innermost self, a sacred realm he had entrusted to the sanctuary of ink and paper.
When she finally tore her gaze away from the journal, she found Marcus's hand gently caressing her cheeks and forehead, a tender touch that seemed to convey a sense of urgency and longing.
Their eyes locked, an unspoken understanding passing between them—a silent confession of uncharted emotions.
Her heart pounded within her chest, its rhythm echoing the intensity of the moment and Lily couldn't help but wonder if Marcus's heart raced in harmony with her own.
His hand continued its tender exploration, drawing closer to her face with an almost magnetic pull.
His touch on her cheeks and forehead was soft and delicate, as if he was capturing every detail, savoring the moment.
The warmth of his hand sent shivers down her spine, igniting a cascade of emotions within her. Time seemed to slow as they gravitated closer, drawn by an invisible force.
In the suspended moment, their faces inched nearer, the anticipation palpable.
Her pulse echoed in her ears as their breaths mingled, their closeness intensifying, their bodies getting closer and closer.
A/N: Things are finally getting somewhere ;)
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