I woke up ravenous. My room was dark as I threw back my covers and swung my legs over the side of my bed. I can't remember the last time I felt this hungry. I pulled back my door and was greeted with the soft hum of the TV. I walked slowly into the front of the apartment and saw Laurie and Alec curled up together on the couch. They hadn't heard me as I walked in.
"Hey guys."
"Ah, Christ, Row. Give me a heart attack. What's up? What do you need?" She asked, getting up off the couch.
"Food. Now."
"That a girl!" I heard Alec say getting off the couch too.
"Row, sit. Alec will make you whatever you want."
"So, what'll it be?" He asked.
I looked from him to Laurie and pondered. I had no idea what we even had so I told him whatever he could make good and fast. I watched as he quickly got to work.
"Here, Row. Your dad said this will help your eye heal quickly. He said to try and massage it a little too if it doesn't hurt. It'll help get the blood flowing," Laurie said handing me a warm compress. "You can put it on your bruises too."
I took the compress and very slowly and gently placed it on my eye. It felt nice but it stung when I put too much pressure on it. "Maybe I could get a patch. Arrrr, matey."
"You're a wierdo. Can you even see out of your eye?"
"A little. Its just like a slit," I said, shrugging. I started smelling the most heavenly smell as Alec was cooking. My mouth started watering. "Is it almost done?"
"Sure. If you are ok with raw chicken. Sit tight, it'll be done soon."
"I haven't eaten in four days. Raw chicken sounds divine."
Alec laughed as Laurie pulled out things for a salad. I watched as the two of them cooked together and sort of envied them. Why couldn't Harry and I have figured this all out? They made it seem so easy as they laughed and flirted. I let out a sigh which caught Laurie's attention.
"You alright over there?"
"Yea. I'm going to see if Marc emailed me back. I honestly have no idea how I am not fired."
"Because you kick ass."
"While totaling company cars but either way."
I heard them laughing as I went into my room to get my phone. I switched it on to check my work email but as soon as it powered on fully, I was hit with so many notifications. I ignored them and went right into my email. I had one from Maddy and one from Marc. I opened Marc's first and let out a sigh of relief when I saw he was letting me come back next week. I quickly scanned to see that Maddy had attached a list of things that I needed to get done by next week. Thankfully I saw nothing with any of the words, one, his name, or direction in them. I had a bunch of press releases to write and edit and a few articles for the website. As I was scanning the email, my phone's screen jumped to an incoming call. I gasped when it starting ringing in my hand and dropped my phone.
"Shit, shit, shit," I said, picking it back up to make sure it wasn't cracked. The cast on my wrist wasn't making this any easier. My phone lit back up and I realized I had answered the call somehow. My heart dropped when I saw that it was him. I heard him faintly talking from the receiver and my hands shook as I brought it up to my ear. I didn't know what I was doing. Was I actually going to talk to him?
"Rowan? Rowan? Are you there? Please, just listen to me. You don't have to say anything. I-I am so sorry for everything and I just want to know you're ok. You never have to speak to me again. I just want to know you are alright."
His voice came in full of static and sounded far away. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode. I knew he heard my breathing because it was coming out loudly.
"Rowan...I-I can't believe I've lost you over this. God, I am so incredibly stupid. I wish I could turn back time and listened to you."
"Well, you didn't. I have to go."
I ended the phone call and shut my eyes. He sounded awful but I am sure he didn't look as awful as I did. I am sure the cut on his face from Laurie added to his already undeniable sex appeal. The phone started ringing again in my hand. Great. Why did I have to say anything back to him? I ended the call and turned off my phone. I walked back into the kitchen and was hit with the most heavenly smell. I was greeted with a huge plate of chicken and pasta. There was a salad too but I dove right into the pasta. The phone call was forgotten as I ate. Nothing mattered except this glorious plate of food.
"Woah, there, breath between bites, Row."
I shook my head as I continued to inhale the pasta.
"What did Marc say? It's late to call your boss. I heard you talking to someone."
"Oh, uh, nothing. He-he just has me doing some at home stuff until I feel well enough to go back to work."
"That required a phone call?"
"What's with the third degree, Laur?" I asked, dropping my fork.
"Wow, alright. I was just asking."
"Sorry, its just-
Oh my God, it was him! Wasn't it? Rowan Emerson, you tell me right now."
"Christ. I dropped my phone because he started calling me and I dropped it and somehow it answered. Don't give me that look, I am not lying. He started talking about how he wished he could turn back time and how he wished he had listened to me. All I said was that he couldn't and I had to go. Then I ended the call and turned it back off."
"As long as that's all it was. We still have to talk about exactly what happened. Of course, not until you're ready."
"There isn't much to tell. I got cheated on by the love of my life and that resulted in me getting into a car accident. Now I have to move on."
"Row, stop. It's not that simple. Don't mush it all together like that. You're in denial of it all still."
"Not really. Its fucked up but it happens."
Laurie continued to stare at me. I knew my answers didn't sound like me but that's because I guess I wasn't me right now. I was so embarrassed by this whole situation that I needed to just tough it out until it was old news. I didn't want anyone worrying about me or catering to me anymore. I wanted my old life back when the only worry I had was whether I double copy edited the newspaper.
"Ok, Ms. Non-Emotional. I get it. We can talk about it when you're out of this weird stage."
I rolled my eyes and pushed the finished plate away from me. "I'm going to go read. Thanks for dinner, Alec! Night, Laurie."
"Nighty night."
I closed my bedroom door behind me and lifted up my shirt over my head very carefully. I caught my reflection in the mirror. Walking over to it, I saw that my bruises were fading into a greenish yellow. I traced my fingers over my healing ribs even though they were sensitive. I then moved my face from left to right. The cut on the bridge of my nose was healing but my eye still looked so bad. My eyelid was a dark shade of purple and there was still swelling in my eye bag. As soon as my face looked somewhat normal, I was going right back to work. I let out a sigh and grabbed a clean shirt. I slowly pulled it over my head and laid down in bed. I grabbed the closet book to my hand. It was a book my aunt gave me years ago called She's Come Undone. The binding was cracking from me reading it over and over again. I opened to the middle of the book and started reading. Shortly after, I felt my eyes getting heavy. I felt the book slide off my bed as I fell asleep.
Somewhere between being fully asleep and awake, I heard a loud banging noise.
I sat up quickly and listened for the noise again. I didn't hear it as I pushed the covers back. My door flew open and I about had a heart attack.
"What the fuck was that? Are you ok?" She asked.
I looked at Laurie's terrified and confused face. I figured mine was the same.
"It-it wasn't me. I thought it was you! Is Alec here?"
Laurie shook her head. "He left hours ago."
We both looked at the other. Waiting.
Then we heard the banging again.
"It's the door." I said in almost a whisper.
I got out of bed and grabbed Laurie's arm. "Come on. If anything, we call the police."
As we got closer to the door, whoever was behind it starting banging again. "Ms. Emerson?? Please, open the door."
"Marsh?!" I called, unlocking both the locks and pulling back the door. He was in ordinary clothes and it looked strange considering I usually saw him in a suit and tie. He looked worried and out of sorts.
"Marsh, what is it?"
"Ms. Emerson, do you have any idea where Mr. Styles is?"
I shook my head. "N-no. We haven't spoken. I mean, we did briefly spoke earlier but I didn't say much."
Marsh ran his fingers through his hair and over his face.
"Marsh, I'm sure he's fine. Why-why are you so worried?"
"Mr. Styles hasn't been...he hasn't been himself lately. Ever since the accident, he has been a bit...unpredictable."
"Like, like how?"
"He has been temperamental and saying he wants to quit. He is blaming himself and the industry for everything that went wrong. He said he wanted some space but that was four days ago and no one has heard from him. He is missing important meetings and press releases. I-I didn't want to be a bother to you but everyone is very worried."
"Marsh, I'm sure he is fine. He keeps trying to reach me so I know he isn't hurt or anything. I'm sure he will be back soon."
Instead of getting upset or worried over the fact Marsh was banging on my door, I was a little annoyed. I was not Harry's keeper. None of this was my fault and I didn't want to get dragged into this anymore.
Marsh could sense I was annoyed. "Please contact me if he happens to tell you where he is. Apologies for the intrusion. Have a good night, Ms. Emerson."
With that, Marsh turned and left. I quickly closed and locked the door. Laurie watched as I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. I grabbed a water and headed back into my bedroom with Laurie still watching me. I sat down on my bed and grabbed my book from the floor. I looked up when I saw Laurie leaning onto my door frame.
"What?"
"Aren't you even a little worried about him?"
"Sure, but what can I do? He can take care of himself. I don't need to rescue him."
Laurie shook her head. That action caused something in me to snap.
"Why do you give a damn if I care where Harry is? Honestly, Laurie, I feel like you want me to talk to him or something. Because if I remember correctly, you were the one who punched him."
Laurie looked taken aback by my outburst but I knew she would retaliate.
"Row, I don't want you to talk to him. I don't give a shit about him. I care about you. You-you are like some kind of zombie lately. I mean, I'm glad you're eating but you are completely void of emotions lately. I know he hurt you but usually we sit and talk about it and we come up with a game plan but-but now you are like, null and void. The Rowan I know would help Marsh find him and make sure he is safe, not just dismiss him like that."
"I am so sick and fucking tired of everyone saying the Rowan I know or the Rowan you used to be! I heard it from my parents and now my roommate. Who the hell cares what Rowan I am? If I don't feel like talking about what happened, then why does it matter? I got cheated on by someone I loved and someone I trusted because he didn't fucking listen to me. He didn't listen to me when all I wanted was for him to listen...he-he ruined this! Not me. I didn't do any of this. All I did was try and love you...I tried to love you, Harry and you-you betrayed my trust..."
I was on my feet and then on my knees before I realized I was crying. Laurie's arms were around me and pulling me off the floor. She laid me into my bed.
"Row, honey, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to..." Laurie was crying too.
"Just go...please...I want to be left alone."
(Poor Rowan... comment and vote xoxo)