A/N: I'm really in love with this song, even though it's a love song. In this chapter, I'd like to use the song that is one of Na-Rae's solo songs. It was a closing theme for Na-Rae's challenging phase, where she struggles with self-blame for the hurt she caused through her reckless actions. The song, written by Alexander Stewart, holds a special place in my heart, as I find it relatable to my own past experiences in love. Well sometimes I think, to stop falling in love or doubting the concept of love itself.... this sounds so sad... OK! Let's end this quirky little note here before It gets more awkward and let's read the chapter! Please do let me know if you've listened to the song and your thoughts on his music. Enjoy the chapter! 😊🎶
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[Verse 1]
The worst part is you're innocent
In all of this, I was just calling quits
You were giving me all that I could need, I was missing it
Now I'm all alone, going through our old messages
And I'm getting it
Usually, I'm the one getting burned
Didn't realize I was hurting you
[Chorus]
Oh God, I'm sorry, I put you through hell
You tried to love me when I hated myself
I know it's too late for apologies
For all of the mistakes that I didn't see
The blame's on me
[Verse 2]
Hate this is such a cliché (Such a cliché)
Don't know, what you have till it's gone away
(Till it's gone away)
But that doesn't take, take away any pain (Any pain)
I'm still here, sleeping in the bed I made
Next to an empty space
Usually, I'm the one getting burned
Didn't realize I was hurting you
[Chorus]
Oh God, I'm sorry, I put you through hell
You tried to love me when I hated myself
I know it's too late for apologies
For all of the mistakes that I didn't see
The blame's on me
(The blame is all on me)
(The blame is all on me)
(The blame is all on me)
The blame's on me
Shortcuts of the MV:
When the music video (MV) was created, it offered a glimpse into a different side of Na-Rae.
The MV was composed of clips from old Bangtan Bombs, behind-the-scenes moments, her preparation for going on stage, and more. It served as a portrayal of how people viewed Na-Rae, showcasing her endearing and humorous interactions with her teammates and crew. The playful persona Na-Rae portrayed in the MV didn't necessarily match the lyrics, but it served as a reflection of how she concealed her true self, her genuine emotions, and her actions.
The final 42 seconds, changed the whole mood of the MV. There you saw older footage that revealed moments when Na-Rae experienced emotional breakdowns. It displayed her teammates and crew attempting to soothe/comfort her during her moments of sadness, as well as her moments of pushing them away, yelling, or having meltdowns.
The last 10 seconds of the MV contained audio recordings of her crying and expressing her inability to bear the emotional pain she felt. These audio snippets and videos were taken from Bangtan Bombs, even though it wasn't initially allowed to use this material.
However, in the last 4 seconds, the screen transitioned from black to a heartwarming scene where Na-Rae stood in the center of a group hug. It illustrated that the boys were one of her safe places, seven individuals she could trust with her innermost struggles.
The MV attracted a great deal of criticism, primarily revolving around the challenges of being an idol and the loss of privacy. It moved many ARMYs and non-fans to tears. Some critics accused her of insincerity and claimed it was a publicity stunt. In their eyes, they believed she used her mother's death as an excuse for her past misbehavior. While these opinions stung Na-Rae, she also understood where they were coming from. She acknowledged that her past behavior wasn't flawless, and her mother's passing at the onset of her success brought its own set of difficulties. She expressed gratitude to the boys, her crew, and everyone around her for their immense patience. Without their support, she wouldn't be the woman she is today.
She not only holds deep affection for them but also knows that she is cherished in return, and that's all that truly matters.
The end