Marilyn Harrison
When I was younger I wanted to be a great human. She wanted to be happy, at peace, falling in love and creating the most adorable family of her own. How clueless I was?
Now here I stand with the scars I never asked for, hate I never wanted, and life I am dreading to end. The light is disappearing along with the hope of me being normal.
"Took you long enough" four words were enough to confirm his allegations. That I planned all of these. Because I had planned.
Nothing till this moment was unplanned. Every little step was being calculated, even before it happened. But somehow I failed to calculate something. Someting I forgot still existed. I was around so much evil that I forgot that good things do exist, that there are people who want the best for you and my selfishness was doing nothing but pushing them away.
But isn't that better? isn't it better for them to hate me, loath me than to burn in the fire I was burning?
Whether my confession or my calm face that showed no remorse or regret for it shocked Finn but his wide eyes were clearly stating what his words will never accept. The shock did not last longer and he gained his posture back in a blink of an eye. "Why? Why would you do that? And don't give me the bullshit that you love him." Finally letting out the word sounding hoarse even though he is trying his best not to.
"Why can't it be love?"
"You are not capable of loving someone other than you," Finn's words felt like a stab in my heart. But he wasn't wrong either. I didn't deserve love, nor was I brave enough to accept it.
They call me heartless but they played with me when I loved them the hardest. And now, I am sinister, how hilarious. Funny enough that I could feel the aching in my heart that was long gone.
"We are all selfish to a level, Finn. Even you."
"What are you planning, Marilyn? What do you want from Ridge?" Finn asked, ignoring my words. His eyes were furious, worried and maybe a little scared. He was scared for his friends, friends he cared for. and I was hurting that friend repeatedly like the heartless I am.
I was wrong, I calculated everything wrong.
"Is Ridge aware of your presence in my office?" I asked, playing with questions just like he did. maybe because I was looking for an answer too.
Finn is an observer, I knew he would be a trouble thus I avoided him as much as possible. they caught things when others were busy throwing blame. they didn't let go until the answers were clear. just like right now.
"It's for me and Ridge to decide. You just need to answer my question." He pressed.
I laughed at his words, but my mouth aches from stretching it every time I fake a smile or laugh. "You sound so much like a wife who is interrogating her husband's mistress." When he didn't react to my joke and kept that furious face intake, I straightened up to answer him. "What I am planning is for me to know."
"If you dare to touch Ridge, you won't survive Marilyn."
"Don't worry I won't touch your precious Ridge but I can't promise that he won't try to touch me." How could you forget someone when they make you feel alive for the first time in years? You can't because we are all greedy little humans always wanting more and more.
"Stay away from him, Marilyn. You have done enough damage. If you keep doing it, this time you'll burn."
"Maybe I want the burn," I murmured looking into the distance. Pain is good, and scars are remarkable. They are the reminder of what to do and what to never look back for.
He didn't say anything to my words, only kept staring at me like he could find those hidden chapters. "What happened six years ago with your parents?"
"My parents? Why do you want to know Finn? So that you can throw me your pity?" I sneered at him, the last thing I want is for people to pity me.
"Not everybody is your enemy, Marilyn." I believed that too, I really did. I thought the world was filled with colors, smiles and laughter that I forgot to notice the darkness lingering in the back, that there's no humanity left on humans, I was no busy in my own bubble that I didn't even hear the screams of begging and crying.
"Oh, believe me, they are. I have no desire to continue this talk with you so if you have nothing to discuss about work, get out."
"I don't care what you are planning but make sure your blind fury does not touch Ridge. Especially now."
"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling the weirdness in his words.
"Ridge is transferring his office to New York." Finn declared. It was clear in his face how much he hated this idea. I hate it too.
Finn stood up to leave, "why doesn't he hate me, Finn? Haven't I hurt him enough? Do I need to inflict more pain to gain his hatred?" I whispered my words out.
"When you love someone, you are incapable of hating them even if they stab your heart repeatedly." Finn says before leaving my office, "Ridge is aware of this meeting so confess whatever you are hovering when you meet him."
Confess? Will he look at me the same way if I tell him my story? Will I see the familiar emotions I saw in numerous people's gazes while standing in front of my family's grave?
I was back at my apartment, falling straight into my bed and staring at my ceiling when someone rang my doorbell. It was almost midnight and anyone arriving at my house at this hour is rare. I wrap a shawl around my body before walking toward the door. A familiar fear wraps my heart as I take my step to the front door.
Looking through the peephole I see a face I haven't seen in months, "what are you doing here Zara?" I asked, opening the door wide open and letting my heartbeat settle down.
"Long time no see, Marilyn." She greets me by throwing my question away and walking into my apartment. dropping all her stuff on the ground she settled down on my couch letting out a groan by holding her back. "Every time I walk for a long distance, my back starts acting up."
"A two-minute walk is not considered a long distance," I say flatly, standing beside the couch wrapping my arms around myself. "And what are you doing here, you were supposed to be in Miami," I questioned with a death glare thrown her way.
"I know, but my work was done there," Zara replies, throwing her shoes away and letting her footfall on my tea table.
"What do you mean? Isn't Gerald still in Miami?"
"No, he isn't anymore. All our variances are in New York. Ridge including. But it seems like you are already aware of that news." Zara knew everything, things I was desperately hiding from and hiding for. She knew all of it.
"Finn visited me today at the office. He is aware of me sending Andrew to create trouble in Wright." I glance at Zara before continuing, "I didn't deny it."
"Hm, I don't see the reason to." Straightening her posture she adds, "Did you give a thought about what I suggested?" I didn't because there was no point in it.
"I have already given you the answer, Zara. We are not involving Ridge in any of this." The answer was clear the day I first met him after six years in my office, the eyes which were longing for me to get closer, feelings that were clearer than words.
"He is already close enough to getting involved in case you are missing the point."
"No, he is not. Nothing we are doing should touch him. I can't do that to him, "I said firmly leaving no point to argue.
"But..." Zara started but stopped when our gaze met. Zara Charlotte is my family and will always be. But still, I will not agree with what she is asking. "Okay, okay as you wish, my queen."
"Why is Gerald back in New York?" I dropped beside her on the couch. Gerald Lopez was an old man living his never-ending vacation traveling from one state to another. Once a man I dearly adored is now a man I am writing the destruction for. He is going down and I'll bring him down with my own hands.
'She is just a kid, but a very beautiful kid. If it wasn't for the sake of me seeing you grow up since you were a toddler, I would've done it myself, but watching is equally fun as well.'
'Say yes darling and there won't be any new scars.'
Snapping back to reality when Zara's voice came, "It's regarding the company Samuel is planning to purchase, is it getting done under the Loiuze name as well?"
"Is it the Goel?"
"No, I am not sure about the name, but it is not what you said." Every time a company is bought under Louize I'm always informed about it from much prior but why did he not inform me about this anonymous company? "Seems like Samuel is finally ready to pay some tax," Zara jokes with a smirk landing on her mouth. It's been eight months since I saw her and I could point out the differences in her features. The pressure of adulthood brought out her warriness. But her smirk is still the same just like I never was.
But her smile did remind me of something I was forgetting to ask her about. If she didn't ring my doorbell tonight, I would have rang her number by tomorrow. More than asking whether she did it or not I want to know why she did it. "Anyway, the stunt that you pulled in on the weekend, don't you think it was a bit.... exaggerated? And may I know the reason at least?" I said, struggling to find the appropriate word.
"Hah...not at all. I just hate her guts. Nothing personal." Zara replied, shrugging her shoulders.
"She is not a bad person, Zara. She is not our focus." I pause for a few minutes then turn towards Zara completely, "Please tell me you are not involved in her break up."
Silence. Good god, this woman and her grudge. "I just messed a bit with that piece of shit giving him some wishful dreams. He did the rest on his own, I swear." Zara insists, raising her hands as a surrender.
"Nothing that happened was her fault, Zara. There is no point in hating her. Don't create trouble for her just because you feel like it."
"The fruit doesn't fall far away from the tree, Marilyn. One day you'll realize it too. She is fucking voodoo doll. Trust me." The annoyance is clear on Zara's face.
I squeezed my eyes shut with a loud grunt. Zara always hated Tabi and every time I asked her why, she would say she just hated her guts. Tabi can come around as a rude person to people but she has a good heart. So, this never-ending hate of Zara for her is getting on my nerves. But I have enough on my plate to care about it.
"Focus on Gerald. I am keeping track of Samuel. And please stop doing these silly tricks. Because I will be the one cleaning it anyway." My words made her laugh instead. When I held her gaze with a stern glare her grin dropped.
I stood up to leave when she said, "It's finally happening, Mari. They will get back every single scar they gave us. They'll suffer the worst fate ever possible."
I didn't reply to her words but walked back to my room instead. Zara's words remain with me, telling me why I should keep on going.
That the tables are turning and bridges are burning.
.....................................................................................
NEW CHAPTER IS HERE.
New character is here, and let me tell you something— Zara is my baby. ❤️
Since the day i created her i am in love wid her.
Anyway do tell me how you like this chapter.
Until then goodbyeee.....✨🫶❤️