Look at him.
Look at the little sunshine.
Warning! May be uncomfortable.
Blood.
~*~
"Uggh.." You grumble under your breath annoyingly, placing the cool, white colored towel across your neck frustratedly as you sat down on the bench.
You were practicing volleyball practice match before you came face to face with an actual, real match. Unfortunately, the your team lost by a few points. Hinata watched you from afar, concerned as you beat yourself up.
Hinata quickly ran over towards your direction. "Hey, Y/N.. are you okay?" Hinata questioned in a worried tone, frowning. You looked up at the short, orange haired boy with a scowl. "No.. I'm not." You muttered, squeezing your water bottle as the water poured in your mouth.
"What's wrong?" Hinata sat beside you, trying his best to comfort you with a soft nudge to your shoulder, tilting his head to the side a bit. "We lost, that's what wrong." You lower your head, slouching your posture in defeat as part of your nose dripped slight blood, due to repeatedly hitting your face. Hinata froze, looking at the floor as it slowly formed small drops of red.
"Ah! Y/N, your nose!" Hinata's tone wavered with a panic, placing one of his hands on your back. "Are you alright? Should I get someone?" Hinata bit his lip nervously as you looked back up at him, sniffling in slight pain. "No, I'm fine." You shrugged the small pain in your nose off as Hinata took your word, nodding slowly.
"It's.. just a practice game, Y/N. No need to beat yourself up about it." Hinata stated, looking at your face. You didn't reply, only a small grunt exiting your throat. You grab the towel that was around your neck, placing it on the side of your nose that was bleeding.
You rise to your feet, grabbing your bag as you get off the bench. You leave Hinata by himself. Still concerned about your being, Hinata follows you around for a bit, speaking towards you as you don't reply for awhile, only Hinata increasing your irritation.
"Y/N, are you alright?"
"Y/N, is your nose okay?"
"Y/N, please answer me.. I'm concerned.."
"..Y/N-"
"SHOYO." You respond with a snap, turning over towards Hinata with a glare, making him violently flinch, a small, scared squeak exited his mouth. "I'm sorry, could you just.. go somewhere else, please?" You lower your voice, a hint of stress entering your tone.
"Oh um.. o..okay." Hinata lowered his voice, along with his head. "I'm sorry." Hinata glanced at your face before dragging his legs against the ground as he slowly leaves the scene. As you watched Hinata slowly drag his body away from you, a slight pain of regret washed over your body.
You refilled your bottle of water while you were around that area, taking small sips. You place your bottle in your bag, putting on strap on your shoulder as you returned to the court.
"Ow, ouch." You whisper under your breath, sharply inhaling through your teeth in pain, slanting your eyes as you pinch your nose, holding your head down to try to stop the slight bleeding.
You spot Hinata on the other side of the court, still practicing his spikes and jump serves with his friend, Kageyama. After a few minutes of waiting for nothing, you decide to make your own way back to your dorm room.
You eventually arrive at your dorm, shutting the door closed. You drop your bag on your bed, rustling through several of the drawers in your room to find a small, black pocket knife, usually used for defense just in case you were attacked or threatened.
You didn't use it for any of those reasons. You pressed the automatic button on the side of the small knife as you started to draw sharp lines through your hands and arms, small streaks of blood seeped out instantly. You put pressure on your skin as you didn't mind the pain that much, but you definitely felt it.
You decide to keep going until there was stained red liquid under your body. At this time, you were wearing black pants, along with a gray jacket, so it could be pretty visible. You bite your lip, narrowing your eyes as you try to ease the pain. A few minutes went by of you constantly hurting yourself, making your hands tremble and even cramp up.
Eventually, the smell of blood reached you as you finally stopped, setting the pocket knife beside you. You catch your breath, putting your fully red hands on the floor, which was a mistake. This is a mess.. You attempt to get up on yout feet, but your body stumbles to the ground again. You had no feel in your legs nor feet at that time.
You suddenly heard footsteps approaching your door as you quickly move the knife under your bed, tensing at the pain all around your body. "Not right now.." You mutter under your breath, looking around your half-bloody dorm as there was a few, slow knocks on your door.
Those slow knocks quickly became impatient as the knocks turned faster. "Hold on!" You slightly raise your voice, trying to at least get on your feet. "Y/N, can we talk? It's important." You heard the sound of a wavery voice that sounded much like Hinata's. You stood quiet, trying to put up everything with your bloody hands still.
Hinata stood on the other side of the door, waiting for your response as he heard only faint rustling. Hinata hit his hands on the side of his legs to a certain song. Another few minutes go by as Hinata lost his patience as he placed his hand on your loose doorknob. "I'm coming in." Hinata spoke low, slowly opening your door.
The bright light from the outside of your door hit your sensitive eyes as you squinted. Crap, this is not the time! You lower your head and body as Hinata immediately paused, noticing the smell of blood and the sight of it. Hinata caught his breath, placing one hand on the doorframe, another on the door handle, paralyzed with fear.
"Y/N..?" Hinata finally spoke up, breaking out of his nervousness a bit, not wanting to take a step in your room at all. You decide not to reply, since Hinata didn't spot you. "I-" Hinata choked on his words, almost falling back. "H..help, guys! I think Y/N's dead!!" Hinata yelled throughout the hallway, fleeing the scene to get help.
You could hear the faint voice of Hinata still yelling in the hallway as you stood low to the ground. Oh.. Shoyo, I'm sorry. You felt a chill of guilt and regret go down your back, looking at your fully red hands. I gotta get this off. You look at your open door, no sign of anyone yet.
Quickly, you get the strength in your legs to get up and move, making your way straight to the bathroom. You shut the door behind you with your elbow, trying not to get any blood over anything else. Though, you hand to use you hands to change the temperature in the water to wash the blood off. The water entered your cuts, making you flinch in pain once more.
"H..hold on.." You heard a faint voice on the other side of the bathroom, the door opening as you found Hinata holding his stomach with both of his hands as he froze, looking at you. "Y/N?! I thought you were dead!" Hinata spoke a bit loudly as you couldn't find your words at that moment. "Shoyo, I-" You cut off your own words, looking at Hinata wobbling side to side. "Uhm.. hold on, sorry." Hinata muttered, making his way into a bathroom stall.
You wipe your hands with a paper towel, turning off the water as you wait outside the door, greeted by your team instantly. "Y/N?" Sugawara perked up first, looking at you in the eyes with slight shock. "I knew it! He wasn't dead! Now pay up." Tanaka motioned his hand over to Nishinoya with a grin. Nishinoya paused, looking at Tanaka like he was actually insane. "I never accepted any bet!" Nishinoya remarked.
"Gosh, do you guys ever learn how to shut up..?" Tsukishima muttered under his breath, lowering his head a little as he was practically forced to come here. As several conversations started around the Karasuno team, Sugawara glanced at the cuts on your hands and arms that still leaked small lines of blood. "Are you alright?" Sugawara looked up at your with concern, Daichi was also behind him. "What happened?" He questioned.
"Nothing. I just got a little hurt, that's all." You shrug, spitting out a lie. "A.. little." Daichi repeated in a not so amusing tone this time, looking at your condition up and down. "Are you sure?" He spoke as you gave a quick nod. Hinata later walked out the restroom, still holding his stomach a bit. You looked down at Hinata, then back at the rest of the team.
"Could I talk to Shoyo alone?" You ask Daichi as he gave a slow, understanding nod. He slowly gathered everyone into a line, giving you and Hinata some space. Hinata looked at you with a small head tilt, his small frown returning. "Y/N.. I don't think everything's alright anymore. I mean.. there's blood in your dorm room, and you have several cuts on your arms and hands.." Hinata paused, taking a breath. "I don't get it.. what happened?"
You quickly decide to tell Hinata, and only Hinata. "Okay.. promise me you won't tell anyone." You lower you voice as Hinata gave a slightly confused nod. You mumbles turn into whispers as you tell him what had happened to your room and your body. Hinata paused, looking at you with more concern on his face than ever before. "Y/N.. but why? Why would you do this to yourself?" Hinata's voice cracked a bit as he questioned.
That was a question you couldn't answer quickly, or at all. Why? Why would you do this to yourself? Why would you hurt yourself on purpose? What was the reason? You lower you head. "I.. don't know." You honestly mutter, Hinata letting go of the subject, giving you a side hug. "I hope this problem can be fixed." Hinata sniffled a bit, softly hugging the side of your body for comfort.
You pat Hinata's back with your sore hand, looking down at the floor. A shaky exhale leaves your body, putting two hands around Hinata's torso for a full hug that you really needed. You closed your eyes, taking deep breaths.
I hope so too, Shoyo.
~*~
I hope that wasn't too uncomfortable for you guys, apologies if it was.
Have a great day!