After yesterday I do feel a lot better, had the sleep I needed. This morning wasn't so awful and the start of school was nice. I was excited for lunch since I would tell the girls about the weekend and if they had any plans. Besides I do really just want to talk to them. Both uncle and aunt drove me to school, both needed to go to the same building so took the same car and were able to get me to school. So far things have been good but we all know by now that my life doesn't go too good for long.
The first lesson was not fun, math. I am not super good at it and so it makes it difficult to like. The teacher though is a blessing in this class, she is a nice person. First time having such math teacher really. Because I had taken a nap yesterday and had a good night sleep, I was veyr focused on the first class of the day. Today I was determined to have a good day. I have good news. Luciana followed me on my social medias and she texted me a good morning which I replied wishing her the same. I am genuinely feeling happiness.
Second lesson I am alone without any of my friends still. It was a very chill lesson, we barely did anything, the teacher seemed not to be in the mood to do a lot of work and makes us do barely much today which is nice. I stayed on my phone more or less in the class, many students were and no one said anything. The lesson went by slowly. I did wish for it to go faster but I had no control in this. But I am not complaining about not needing to do so much work at least in one class out of way more of today.
The last one before lunch time went by super fast and we had a lot of class work to do. The bell rang and the hallways were filled with rows crowded with students, some wanted to go and eat or buy out of school, some were trying to get to the cafeteria faster to get the food quicker or the spot to sit, those tables that aren't "marked" by student groups like the popular ones. I managed not to get hurt while getting to the cafeteria and my two friends were already there near our table, I waved to them and walked to there. I had my lunch packed today.
"Hey."
"Hello."
"Hi."
"Yesterday I talked with Luciana and I think we might be friends, she followed me on my socials so I guess we are."
"You are so lucky!" Leonor screamed kind of.
"She said that if me and Samuel would get back together I could introduce you guys to her and a few others."
"She said that?" Bernadette questioned and I nodded. Both had shocked faces but I laughed it off. We tackled our food and were silent for a bit. Leonor and Bernadette were looking at each other suspiciously and back at me very so often.
"What?"
"We been meaning to ask this. You don't have to answer." Leonor spoke and continued.
"Why did you move in here? How exactly can you go to this school?"
I knew this was coming and I knew I couldn't avoid it for long besides I do not have to answer but I will.
"Within the summer holidays started... my parents got into a car accident... both died shortly after and I had no one else at home and had to move. My aunt and uncle were the only ones that wanted to take me in so that is how I got to this city. I am able to go to this school because of my uncle, he is rich, he worked to become rich, so yeah."
"I am sorry."
"Sorry."
"Don't be. Its been a bit. Still fairly fresh but not so much as the time goes on."
"I hope you like the city."
"I do. It's a lot bigger than my small town but now I am somewhat used to the city's bigness."
Then the girls averted the topic to something different and more nicer to talk about. I don't know why but telling about my parents felt like I was telling the biggest secret of mine, it kind of is but still. Some people can be mean and would very likely make the information into some sort of bullying thing which I am afraid of. But I doubt someone heard about this and even if they had, hopefully aren't evil and everything will be ok for me. The lunch time was finished up nicely.
I had two more classes and I will be done, I had less lesson than I usually do, I also most of the time have like one or two in between classes no classes. Today I didn't have that but generally have less lessons. Those lessons were boring but I had enough work in class to keep me occupied but the work was the boring part really, mostly having to take notes and things like that. The last lessons of the day of mine I shared with Luciana, we talked a bit which was super nice. Sat opposite each other. I haven't seen Samuel all day, even through the hallways and I asked about that to her and she said he was training for half the lessons and he might also avoid me for the sake of mine. But other than that she didn't know much and probably just like me could make assumptions. I kind of wished to see him today, even for a split second but also kind of didn't want to yet. I miss him a lot. I wish to talk to him soon, so we could maybe try again and make the relationship actually work. And be finally truly public, well in school.
The bell rang and I was off to my locker to get some things and put away somethings and finally go to the bus stop to go home. But as I was about to turn around and go, a person blocked my way. I had to stumble back a bit.
"I am sorry." I mumbled.
"So you are the girl Samuel has dated for a bit. You two broke up recently, huh? Well you shouldn't have messed with a person who is out of your league, orphan. Oh, yeah. I hear you tell your friends this. Poor girl, well not really anymore with the rich relatives you live with. I hope your parents are happy in their graves. I am warning you to stay away from Samuel or anyone from the circle, that includes Luciana or you will also poison her with your lies or something." I had tears in my eyes, he nudged me or I could say pushed me into the lockers and I felt to the ground. I knew I couldn't stay in the place longer so I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in one of the stalls.
I remember the funeral like it was yesterday. A grey day, fitting for the day's event. It was the most saddest day in my life well actually the second one, the first one being the news of their deaths in the hospital. I wore all black outfit as I should. My face was itchy with the dried up tears. We were outside waiting for the ceremony to start and waiting for some more people to show up. I was sitting in a chair at the front by myself. Barely anyone glanced at me or showed actual support, only a few, my both sides of grandparents gave me hugs and sorry but that was about it. I felt like I wasn't important to anyone. No one had wanted to have custody over me, only my aunt, my mother's sister did with her husband and I was glad and sort of happy deep down that someone actually care fro me and remembered I wasn't an adult yet. I will leave the town in a few days with them and leave this place I call home forever.
My aunt finally showed up, without uncle though. I have seen him only once before, when I was very little, I think at their wedding. He was constantly working. So my aunt was the only one to visit us once or twice in a few months. My grandparents never really bothered to call us or me for the matter, I didn't like them as much, neither did they as it seemed or maybe it was specifically my family, mom and dad they didn't like much. I don't know.
"I am so sorry my girl."
"You have lost your sister as well, you know?"
We hugged each other which felt nice. She sat down next to me. Not too long after the ceremony started. The ceremony so far went by well, the last part came where we are to lower the caskets to the ground. I said my words in my head and threw a flower onto their caskets, a few others did it too and finally they were lowered and the ground was put on. We left more flowers on top. Many started to go to their ways, I was left and my aunt. We held onto each others arms and stared at the graves of my parents. She was sobbing a bit while I just had dried up tears and wasn't feeling anything particular. It was a weird time for me. Knowing that from this moment for real I won't be able to see them anymore, just here in a way. It is interesting how a normal day, an accident happens and people don't survive and make the closest people to them suffer a lot, it was just any normal day. They could have survived but didn't. I can't blame the doctors excuse they did everything they could to help them. I don't know who to blame, maybe after all there is no one to blame for this.
Staying there didn't feel too good, I wanted to leave. Aunt told me to wait in her car and handed me her keys, I left her alone. Slowly the weather became rainy and my aunt had to go to the car since she didn't have an umbrella with her. We stayed in the car fora bit and when drove to my house. The car ride was silent and I think it was for the best. I thought we were going to my house but we stopped at a restaurant. I looked at my aunt and she had a sad smile but a smile nevertheless. We walked in and got seated. I wasn't super hungry but for my aunt's sake I tried to order something I knew I could finish. Which were fries and a coffee. While waiting for the food we talked a bit about the whole moving part. After we got the food, ate it, which I was proud that I ate all of the fries and drank the coffee, my aunt paid and we got to the car and finally truly drove to my house.
She left me and I was truly alone in the house. I broke down. Since waking up I wasn't crying until that moment, I cried the day before. This house wasn't so homey anymore. I wasn't alright. I wanted to run to my parents and for them to comfort me but that is no longer a thing, only my aunt and uncle would be able to do that once I move into their house. Tomorrow I must start packing things up. This will take some time to do.
The bathroom stall was making me feel trapped in it, why did I decide to be there? I need someone but at the same time I do not want to bother anyone over this. Why me? Why of all people it has to be me?