Prelude
My name is Alicia. I'm twenty-seven years old. I'm a clinical psychologist with my own private practice and I do some casual work at the local university. I also provide professional consultancy in my area of expertise.
I expect to complete my PhD this year - I've been working on it part-time for the past four years.
I've had a partner for the last two years. He's ten years older than me, a wimpy, dreamy sort of guy, an academic - philosophy. We're not exactly sexual animals, but we're comfortable with each other and our domestic life is satisfying.
I'm a transgender woman; I'm completely upfront about that, and always have been. Want to hear my story? Read on.
Chapter 1: the problem
It's always a buzz to overhear nice things said about yourself. I'd come out of my bedroom and heard my parents talking in low tones in the living room.
Dad: "Bea, Alan's a great kid, we could at least put it to him."
Mum: "You're right, of course, he's a terrific kid, but this is too much."
Dad: "We're getting pretty desperate, love."
Mum (despairing): "I know, Larry, but it's just not fair to Alan."
Dad: "No, I suppose not."
I walked in, "What's not fair to me?"
Mum gave me a weak smile, "It's nothing, love."
In two weeks' time, my parents would be leaving on their dream holiday - ten weeks touring Europe - that was, provided they could find a boarding school for me to attend for the school term corresponding to their time away.
The holiday had been in planning for nearly two years and I had been booked into St Luke's boarding school from early in the piece. And then a few weeks ago, St Lukes had suffered major fire damage; they wouldn't be able to take students for at least six months.
A desperate search for another school began. Suitable alternatives such as relatives or friends weren't available. The dream was in jeopardy.
Chapter 2: a girls' boarding school?
I was nearly thirteen years old and was in my first year of high school. I'm an only child.
Mum nearly died giving birth to me and Dad had put his foot down, "No more, I can't risk losing you."
I'm sure that Mum would have liked to have more children, but accepted Dad's edict.
We were a caring and loving family, and I was generally a happy and confident kid. I wasn't a big boy and had copped some bullying over the years, but nothing too serious.
I sat down opposite my folks, "Come on, what is it?"
Dad smiled, "It's a boarding school, Alan."
"Good."
"No, it's not good," from Mum.
"Oh, why?"
Dad gave a half snort-half laugh, "It's a girls' school."
"What, they take boys as well?"
"Not exactly."
"What then?"
Mum sighed, "Go on, Larry, you might as well tell him."
Dad said that a few years ago, the school, Caroline College, had accommodated a young boy for a short time and they were prepared to do the same for me.
I would have a separate bedroom and my own bathroom/toilet, but in all other respects, I would be expected to fit in as one of the students.
"Fit in?"
Dad was smiling, "Apparently that means, being just like the other students, including wearing the correct school uniform."
I started laughing, "A girl's uniform?"
"Yeah, mate."
"So I'd be a pretend girl . . . but the other kids would know, wouldn't they."
"They would, and you might get teased, sweetheart," Mum was looking concerned.
Dad was still smiling, but said more seriously, "The headmistress, a Mrs Thornton, assured us that they come down heavily on that sort of stuff."
I laughed again, "This is weird."
Dad was laughing as well, "It is, isn't it?"
But Mum looked very worried, "Darling, forget about it. It's no good."
I stood up, "Not much time left, is there? Let me think about it."
I heard Mum's plaintive "Alan" as I headed back to my bedroom.
Chapter 3: shall I go for it?
I lay down on my bed. It was certainly weird, but I couldn't help being amused by the whole idea. I mean, what a lark.
I lay there smiling at the ceiling. I'd been looking forward to going to a boarding school while the folks were away, it would be a new experience. Blimey, an all-girls boarding school would be even more of an experience.
It might be fun, but could girls really be as bitchy as I'd heard from some people? Would I cop a lot of grief?
The girls I knew seemed nice (for girls, that is - now that's 'boytalk') and got on fine together. It would probably be okay.
I did have one major concern. I went out to see Mum and Dad again.
They were in the kitchen preparing dinner. They did nearly everything together.
My parents had their own financial management business; through hard work, they had built it up to a sizeable operation.
A few years ago, they had taken in another partner - he would look after the business while they were away.
"Mum, Dad, where is this Caroline College, I've never heard of it?"
Dad understood what I was on about, "It's a three-hour drive north of here. Neither Mum nor I have ever heard of it before, or of any kids from around here going up there. It seems that its main catchment areas are the rural districts to the north and west."
He gave me a sort of wry grin, "So, mate, it's very unlikely that anybody around here would ever know about you going there."
I loved my parents; I wanted them to have their dream holiday. "Let's do it," I said.
"Oh, Alan," Mum's voice was full of anguish.
Dad was grinning; so was I.
"It could be a real laugh, and what the hell, it's not for long and if nobody is likely to know . . ."
"Alan, Alan, darling," Mum grabbed me and started hugging me, "You're the best kid in the world, the best."
"Hey, take it easy, Beatrice," Dad said with mock severity, "don't go giving him a swelled head."
"I will, I will," Mum exclaimed getting all teary.
Chapter 4: at the college
It was cool. Sure, lots of strange looks to begin with, a few snide remarks and 'behind my back' whisperings, but no serious problems.
I was enrolled under my own name, Alan Wellings, but was to be known as Alicia Wellings.
I felt surprisingly confident. I mean, it was all a bit of a giggle, so why not enjoy it? My carefree attitude got picked up by other students and we all had a good laugh about my unusual situation.
The school was strict and the standards were high. Within the first week, several girls had been given warnings. The next breach meant a parent interview, one more, expulsion.
I'd never had any trouble at school, but I decided to be extra careful.
Before I came to Caroline, Mum had taken me to a salon; I was given a pixie-style haircut and got my ears pierced - "to help you fit in, love."
A girl at school gave me a lipstick and showed me how to apply it. Within a couple of weeks, I doubt that an outsider would have seen me as any different from the other girls. I was certainly 'fitting in'.
I liked the school uniform. I thought it looked good - elegant and classy. It felt good on me too - comfortable and easy to wear.
My 'mufti' clothes, which we were allowed to wear on Sundays and sometimes Saturdays, were pretty basic: jeans, shorts and a variety of tops. Other girls began to lend me items and borrow mine. It was fun.
I kept in touch with the folks via email. Students were not permitted to have mobile phones and phone calls from the office were only allowed for serious matters or emergencies.
Mum and Dad were clearly having a ball. I was really happy for them. My constant reassurances as to my 'situation' eventually convinced them to stop worrying about me.
Chapter 5: the phone call
It was only just over a week before my ten weeks were up when I found myself getting teary in bed one night. I was going to miss this place, and the friends I'd made.
The very next day, I was called down to the office to see Mrs Thornton.
"Alicia, your father's on the phone."
"Oh, no," I gasped fearing the worst.
"There's nothing wrong, Alicia. Your father just needs to ask you something."
Dad filled me in quickly. They had fallen in with another three couples with much the same touring itinerary. "They're great people, Al."
At the end of their current holiday, their friends were booked on a six-week cruise around the Caribbean, but one of the couples had to pull out. Mum and Dad could take their place.
There was a two-week gap corresponding to the school term break. Mum and Dad would fly home and . . . "We felt that you were happy at Caroline College, mate, and wondered if you would be prepared to do another stint . . ."
I tried not to get too excited, "Sounds like a great plan to me, Dad, let's do it."
"Al, you're terrific, thanks. Now Mum will have a quick word."
Mum and I got all gushy of course, but we kept it brief. I handed the phone back to Mrs Thornton.
"As I said, Mr Wellings, Alicia is an excellent student and we are happy to keep her. I would suggest, however, that she stay for the whole of the last term. It would be better for her."
Mrs Thornton raised a questioning eyebrow at me; I eagerly nodded 'yes'.
"Alicia is indicating her acceptance. Fine . . . yes, I'll prepare the invoice and let you have it when you pick your daughter up at the beginning of the break."
Chapter 6: the future
The folks and I had a good two weeks together recounting our experiences, and then it was back to school. I think the last term was even better than the previous one.
The end of the school year and all the goodbyes, hugs and kisses.
Mum and Dad picked me up and we were driving down the road with me perched up in the middle of the back seat with, I suspect, a rather smug look on my face.
Dad, who was driving, glanced at me in the rear vision mirror, "Al . . . er, Alicia, Mrs Thornton had a word to us."
"Yes, she told me she was going to if that was all right with me, which it was."
"She said that they would welcome you back next year."
"In fact," Mum added, "we got the impression that they were keen to have you back."
I just smiled.
Mum turned and looked at me, concerned as usual, "Do you want to go back next year, love?"
My grin got broader, "Just try and stop me."
I spent all my remaining high school years at Caroline College - such happy times.
I underwent the proper male-to-female transition process and by the time I went off to university at the age of eighteen, I was as complete a woman as I could be, given the constraints of my male birth.
Did I mention at the start that I'm very satisfied with my life these days?