Miriam awoke to a knock on her door. She half-expected it to be Ade or, at a push, Wes, but Abi appeared still in her pink pyjama set, holding two steaming mugs with a pack of muffins stuffed beneath her armpit. Miriam jumped up to help her in an instant, and the two eventually settled down beneath the duvet, muffins in their laps.
"Last night was fun," Miriam said once she'd finished half of her soul reviving coffee. It raced through her veins, shaking them until she felt somewhat real, alert to every touch, taste and sound.
"If I didn't know any better," Abi laughed, "I would say you and Ade made a rather cute couple."
"Fuck off," Miriam scoffed.
"I'm serious. I always knew you were talented, but you've performed a miracle. He's never like this with anyone."
"Well, it's not over yet," Miriam said between bites of her chocolate chip muffin.
"So, any ideas?"
"Ideas?"
"To embarrass him? Ruin him?"
Miriam shrugged and disengaged a single chocolate chip from its fluffy casing, popping it directly onto her tongue where it promptly melted into pool of sugary goodness.
"I still think you should kiss Wes."
"Abi."
"What? He'd love it, and it would send Ade into a tailspin."
Ever since Abi alluded to Wes' imaginary feelings, Miriam strengthened her resolve to keep him out of this. It was one thing to kiss a friend, and a complete other to kiss one with whom you share—
But Miriam didn't share anything with Wes. Nothing but ten years of friendship and the promise of many more. No secret feelings or desires or needs. Nothing but a nice, clean, platonic frisson.
"Thanks for the help," Miriam said, coffee finished, "but I think I have this under control."
"Well, whatever you do, you have to do it by tomorrow night."
"I'm aware."
"Otherwise this would've all been for nothing."
"I know, I've got this." And she did, for if last night told her anything, it was that all she needed to do was look at another man and this would be over. That is provided there was an audience.
"Well, if there's anything—"
Wes bounded into the room without so much as a knock and headed straight towards the bed. He hopped in, thigh pressed against Miriam's, stole the last of her muffin, grinning stupidly between bites.
"Hey." She swatted his arm. "I was eating that."
"And now I've eaten it."
She slapped him again, which served only to fill the room with delighted laughter. "You're the worst," she mumbled.
"Right back at you."
"You both suck," Abi intervened. "Leaving me down there last night was diabolical."
"I was drunk." Miriam held up her hands.
"And I was bored," Wes said.
"And I was both," Abi groaned, "but I got stuck down there for another two hours while you two—"
"Watched the latest episode of Greys Anatomy."
Miriam slapped Wes for the third time and shot him a menacing stare.
"'You've got to be kidding me," Abi said, glaring at both of them. "I was trapped down there, and you got to watch Greys without me?"
"Sorry Abi." Miriam held up a hand. "But the game was getting stupid."
"And I couldn't let her leave alone," Wes added.
"How convenient. Honestly, if I'd known, I would've—"
A knock interrupted Abi's tirade. It was followed by a half-hearted come in on Miriam's part and the appearance of Ade's smiling face. That is it was smiling, for all of three seconds, and then it drooped, all sad and pathetic until he visibly shook himself and rewrote his expression entirely.
"I think we should be going?" Abi said, sliding out of bed. She careened around the frame, grabbed hold of Wes, and hauled him out of the room. Miriam resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the performance, surreptitious glances and all, and focused on grinning up at Ade as he stepped further into the room.
"I didn't mean to interrupt," he explained while he perched on the foot of the bed.
Miriam waved a hand through the air. "Don't mention it," she said. "Anyway, is everything alright?"
Ade blinked, hard, and shook his head. "Yeah, sorry, I uh just came by to see if you wanted to drop by town. The town. Centre, I mean. The town centre. I haven't bought Daniel a birthday present, and I thought we could get breakfast, but it looks like you've eaten so don't worry about the breakfast or the trip or—"
"I'm famished," Miriam said with a laugh. "Breakfast and shopping sounds great."
"Great." Ade jumped up, as eager as a dog fresh from a walk. "Let's leave in an hour?"
"Perfect."
He headed towards the door, hand hovering over the knob, and stopped, turning to say, "Don't tell anyone about this."
"What?" It seemed like the sort of thing he'd want to tell everyone.
"Just now" he said. "The rambling, I mean."
Miriam pursed her lips. "I thought it was cute."
"And Ryan would think it was ridiculous, so I'd rather you kept it between us."
"You have my word," Miriam said, pressing a hand to her chest.
He smiled and disappeared behind the door, leaving her and an exhilarating realisation behind. Speculation, she noted, would be enough. Maybe more than enough, for image was everything.
~*~
The town centre was a single road with a few high-street shops, one McDonalds and a Costa Coffee. It was also thirty minutes from the house, which wouldn't have been a problem except Ade didn't drive, leaving Miriam to navigate the narrow country roads. She wasn't the most confident driver at the best of times, relying on Wes and the fate of the coin to get her from A to B, but somehow, she managed it, stalling only once when she thought a fox had run into the road.
"I think you deserve a coffee," Ade said once she cut the engine.
She glanced at him and nodded sombrely, both hands clenched tight around the steering wheel as she said, "That would be perfect."
"Come on." He hopped out of the car and ran round to open her door, offering a hand, which Miriam took, and leaned on as she hopped onto the dark grey gravel. Ade didn't let go when they began walking. Once upon a time, this might've made Miriam swoon. She'd always felt there was nothing more intimate than handholding, what with the press of calluses and promise of more. But it was nothing, meant nothing, and so she could almost ignore the insisting press of his fingers, focusing her attention on the promise of a flat white instead.
They bypassed the Costa, kissing Miriam's coffee dreams goodbye, and stepped into a smaller café which was sandwiched between Next and H&M. Although it was ten-thirty, far too early for shopping, the café was packed, so much so, Miriam was surprised when Ade managed to find a small circular table nestled beside a window.
"What are you having?" he asked.
"A flat white."
"Anything else?"
She pretended to think before shrugging. "Surprise me," she said.
Both Ade's eyebrows jumped as he winked. "I'll do my best."
The moment he left, Miriam located her phone at the bottom of her bag and began crafting an update. It was rare she offered these, but with completion imminent it felt necessary. The words scrambled, sentences left incomplete, nothing coming together as she envisioned, and so she tipped her head back and drew a line, fixed, eternal, plotting points along it leading to the end goal. Ade's destruction. There was flirting with Ryan, kissing him, kissing a stranger at the party, disappearing, the suggestion of her with someone else. A million possibilities, all as pedestrian as the last, but if Abi had been right about one thing, it was that this was her final shot. So, she looked down at her phone and sent the text.
Miriam:
In 24hrs he'll wish he never met me.
Lydia:
perfect ☺️
Grace:
There's a caramel macchiato with your name on it!
Ade returned with two coffees and enough pastries to feed a small army. He loaded the mismatched plates onto the table, leaving just enough space for their mugs which were more suited to soup and painted in hazy pastel shades of orange and blue. Miriam watched him sit down over the rim of her cup, eyes flitting away the moment his met them, unashamed in their curiosity.
"I've been meaning to ask you," Ade said, voice slick and slow, seemingly unaware of the way Miriam's jaw clenched and her knuckles tightened. "This Josh guy, was he your boyfriend?"
"The one and only." Miriam smiled despite herself and filled the silence with a buttery soft pastry, simple in its execution, complex in its flavour profile.
"Oh." Ade paused, taking a bite out of a croissant, and added, "Is he the one you loved?"
Miriam cleared her throat. "Yeah," she said, surprising herself when she didn't choke on the word. "Why?"
"I don't know." He shrugged; Miriam felt he was lying. "I guess I just wonder if you're ready to do it again."
"Do what again?"
"The whole relationship thing."
If this was real, if she wanted Ade, she might've spluttered, dribbling coffee all over her white t-shirt. She would paw at herself and dab the wet patch as if a napkin could do more than buy her some time. Time to think, to formulate an answer, to say yes. But in this world, she pawed and dabbed and played demure while her insides curled in delight. It was one thing to think she had him, the idea half-formed and uncertain, and a complete other to know that he lived in the palm of her hand just waiting for the day he would be crushed.
***
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