"Can I drive?" Kate asked, feet kicked up on the dash of the rickety old truck Bucky and Steve graciously gifted as they departed. Steve had said they once found their home in it, and that now she and Yelena could do the same.
"Do you even know how?" Yelena replied, one hand on top of the wheel, the other lacing through Kate's.
"No..." Kate said, distracted. She grinned at their intertwined fingers, evidence of their newfound happiness, her newfound joy. She managed to stop smiling for a brief second to press a kiss to Yelena's knuckles. "How hard could it be, though?"
"Harder than you would think. I drove a few vehicles for the Widows, transporting squadrons or supplies, but mostly I learned with Nat."
"Before the Widows?"
"Before the outbreak. Natasha had a habit of stealing junkyard cars. She took a Harley off the lot once, though, and I think she was glad the apocalypse happened before she could get in trouble for it."
"She sounds like fun."
"Yeah. She is."
"...So I can't drive?"
"Not a chance."
Playfully rolling her eyes, she settled back into her seat, holding tight to Yelena's hand in her lap. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, sweetheart."
"Was that-" she laughed, cheeks a rosy shade of pink. "Was that your first kiss? Back at the farm?"
Yelena glanced away from the debris-riddled highway, eyeing her. "Why? Was it bad?"
"No! No," she quickly interjected. "It was perfect. I was just wondering. It was, um, it was mine."
"Yeah. Mine too."
"Really?"
Yelena nodded, smile playing on her lips. She looked so youthful, so revitalized. Her skin glowed from the sunlight gleaming in the truck's open window, her eyes glimmered with optimism, with hope. It was far cry from the gaunt, bleeding figure that lay on the cold marble steps in DC, moments from death. Kate shivered at the memory, at the lingering fear that she would somehow lose someone else.
"Are you alright?" Yelena asked, voice low.
"Yeah."
"What are you thinking about? We've got a long drive, you've gotta entertain me."
"A lot of things..."
"Pick one."
"The farm," Kate finally sighed. "Bucky and Steve. I'm gonna miss them. Feels like I'm always missing people these days."
"I'm gonna miss having a mattress," Yelena said dreamily, already aching to fall asleep under a real roof next to someone she loved. "And them, of course. I hope they'll be alright without this thing."
"I don't think they ever planned on leaving. Not now."
"Yeah... probably not."
"It's gotta be harder for people like them, don't you think?"
"People like who?"
Kate shrugged, gaze a bit distant. "Older folks. People who had lives before all of this. Me and you, we remember what it was like back then, but we didn't really have much to hold on to. They had jobs. Spouses. Kids."
"Yeah," Yelena said, lips pursed in thought. "I know it's only been eight years, but someday, everyone who was alive before the outbreak will be dead and gone. No one will remember society at all."
"Maybe that's for the better. Society kind of sucked anyway."
"Yeah. It did."
Kate caught the shift in Yelena's voice, the slight drop in tone. The archer studied Yelena's face, not wanting to see her radiant smile disappear.
"Hey," Kate said softly, drawing her gaze. "It's alright. We're still here."
Yelena, never one for sentiment through her words, slowed the truck enough to lean over and kiss Kate on the cheek without fear of barreling off the road. Kate was so kind, so in touch with what she wanted, what she needed, that Yelena could only hope the tenderness in her touch and the adoration in her eyes conveyed the same message.
___
Much later, after the sun had set and the little blue truck sputtered to a halt, Kate and Yelena lay together on the bed, so thoroughly intertwined that they could not tell their limbs apart under the blankets.
When they first kissed on the farm, Kate had felt such immense relief, an explosion of pressure that made her head lighter, her steps bouncier. It was the opening of a floodgate, the shattering of a window. There was no awkward tension between them now, no stolen glances, no hesitant cuddling under the guise of it being much too cold out to sleep alone. Now, their love was real. It was spoken, it was felt, honored, shared.
In the truck bed, impossibly warm and unbelievably content, Kate cupped Yelena's cheeks, eyes asking for permission. The Widow only bit back a smile, leaning in and planting a gentle kiss to Kate's lips. One of Yelena's hands rested on Kate's chest, toying with her collar, the other wrapped around her waist to keep her close, keep her safe.
"Yelena," Kate said after a moment, pulling back. She said the word not to get the blonde's attention, but as though it was the only thing she could think of, the singular entity consuming her thoughts so completely that she could not help but verbalize it. She said it as though she could not believe love had a name.
"Yes?" Yelena replied, thumb smoothing down the soft little hairs splaying onto Kate's forehead. She kissed her temple, kissed her cheek. It wasn't enough.
"Just..." Kate chest compressed as she let out a long sigh. She pulled Yelena closer, eyes fixed on the unknowable expanse of galaxies above. "I never... I never thought I would have this. Not now."
"Have what?"
"Someone like you."
Yelena tucked her head under Kate's chin. "Someone like me?"
"Yeah. Someone to watch my back. Someone to hold at night."
"To have and to hold," Yelena mused sleepily, fully encased by Kate's arms and the way she smelled like leather, well worn but still hardy.
"Are you reciting marriage vows to me?" Kate laughed, wishing she could hold Yelena like this forever, wanting so badly to always keep her close. "So soon?"
"What can I say? You're charming."
"And you're beautiful."
"Stop it." Yelena's cheeks flushed. She hid her face deeper in the crook of Kate's neck. "You know," she said, slightly muffled. "I think I owe my sister an apology."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I get it now. When she left the Widows, left me, it was partly because she met a girl. She'd gone and fallen in love, and the thought of being away from her was so agonizing that Nat was willing to leave everything behind." Yelena sighed, deflating. "I'd held it against her, begrudged her, but I think I understand now. What she did, what you've said about burning down cities..."
"I meant it," Kate said. "I would burn down a city. I've got you."
"I know." Yelena exhaled softly, settling onto Kate's chest, eyes falling shut. All of her senses were consumed with Kate- her flannel that smelled faintly of smoke, the steady thump of her heartbeat, the grounding tactile sensation of her arms snaked around Yelena's waist. "I'm tired, Katie."
Kate kissed her forehead. "It's alright. Sleep. I'm here."
Yelena meant to respond, to thank her, tell Kate she loved her, but Yelena had never felt so safe, and she had never fallen asleep so quickly.
___
The next few days on the road passed in a hazy, euphoric blur. Kate was squarely in the honeymoon stage, infatuated, obsessed, completely mad. She could not help but find Yelena in everything now; in the wildflowers she picked and placed in golden hair, in the whistles of songbirds that woke her in the morning. She felt Yelena in the warm spring breeze that blew by, urging her on.
Charleston was not far now. In the thickening southern humidity, Kate abandoned her leather jacket and flannel, arms exposed as she tucked her ratty white undershirt into painter's pants. Her trusty hunting knife stayed sheathed at her belt, back burdened with her pack, quiver, and bow. Sometimes, despite vehement protests, she carried Yelena's bag too.
On a rainy afternoon the Carolinas, Kate shouldered the two packs to allow Yelena to walk above her on a fallen tree, carrying her hunting rifle to keep balanced. Kate stayed on the ground, looking up at her with amusement and awe.
"You see anything?" Kate asked, arms flexing as she adjusted Yelena's duffel, ready to reach out should Yelena wobble. The archer doubted this was necessary, though. Yelena's steps were always sure. "See a path back to the main roads?"
"I thought you'd like being in the woods again," Yelena replied, black boots deftly stepping around slick patches of moss. "Two days in the truck and all."
"Of course I love being back out here. I just thought," she paused as Yelena stilled, ears perked, "I thought you might be getting antsy. I wanna stay focused."
"Kate, if there's one thing I've learned from all this, it's that it's okay to take things slow."
The archer nodded, watching in confusion as Yelena crouched, putting the butt of the rifle to her shoulder. "What is it?"
Yelena only grinned. "You'll see."
Still on the log, Yelena laid prone, adjusting the rifle's scope, eyes narrowed. Kate attempted to follow her sightline, shrugging the bow off of her shoulder in anticipation. However, the blonde fired before Kate could even reach for an arrow, shell casing dropping softly to the forest floor. Though there was obvious danger afoot, Kate could only stare upwards, as Yelena pulling back the bolt was perhaps the most attractive thing she had ever seen.
"Got 'em both," Yelena grumbled, still squinting into her scope. She whistled for all clear, and Kate relaxed. "Damn, I'm good."
Kate quickly investigated, rushing forward to find two crumpled Lurkers about a hundred yards from Yelena's post, both with a clean bullet wound right through the temples. The blonde, rifle slung across her back, jumped down from the tree and followed suit. She bumped Kate's hip as she stood over her kills, eyebrow raised, expression confident.
"Show off," Kate said, heat rising to her cheeks.
"Only for you, sweetheart," Yelena replied, looting a small, rusted knife from one of the bodies. "Now come on. Let's keep moving."
Kate did not need to be told twice. When Yelena held out a hand, she took it without hesitation. She would have followed Yelena anywhere.
"How far do you think we are?" Yelena continued, retaking her bag. She tossed it over her shoulder, free hand toting her rifle. She easily supported the full weight of the gun with one hand, a reminder to Kate of her pure strength, the capable dexterity that was a large part of Kate initially falling in love.
"Couple days, maybe less," Kate said, wiping at raindrops that dripped down her forehead and into her eyes. "We should be in Charleston within the week."
"Really?" Yelena asked, voice tightening.
"You don't sound excited."
"It's just... it's been a long time coming. And I know it won't be easy."
Kate glanced to the revolver holstered at her hip, the rifle sitting so easily in her grasp. "I pity the Widows who try and cross you."
"It's not the Widows I worry about."
"Then what is it, love?"
"I don't know." Yelena faltered, shaking her head. "It'll be fine."
Kate frowned, but did not push. As much as she loved Yelena and wanted to know her every worry, her every anxiety, not every wall would be so easily toppled. There was still so much Kate did not know, and she was only willing to press so far, even after all this time. Some secrets deserved to remain shrouded. At least for now.
Yelena quickly redirected. "Katie, I've got a question. Something I've been wondering for months."
"Oh? Months?"
"Yeah, just..." she sighed happily, swinging their intertwined hands. "What were those little cars for?"
"What?" Kate almost laughed, taken aback. "From the antique shop? That's been your burning question?"
"It just felt so random. If you just got one for yourself, fine, but you took one for me. And you waited to present it like a gift."
"Well, it was a gift. I don't know. You were so guarded back then. I wanted to do something nice."
Yelena looked up at her, memorizing every perfect line of her wild black hair and the sharp edges of her jaw, her cheekbones. "You were always kind to me. Even then."
"It was just a car, Lena. Nothing crazy."
"It was more than that," Yelena said softly, remembering the tenderness Kate had that night as she exchanged her weapon for a little metal toy. "It was disarming. It was so... soft that it had me rethinking half of my life. Honestly, that was the start of it for me."
"Start of what?"
"Falling in love, Kate."
"Oh," Kate said, pace meandering, smile unshakeable. "Not when I kicked you in the face?"
"You're real proud of that, aren't you?"
"Wouldn't say no to a rematch."
Yelena rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't last a minute."
"No, I wouldn't. But, really, that early? That's when you knew?"
"Well, that's when the seed was planted, I guess. I really fell in the bunker. Someone kills for you like that, saves your life, you kinda have no choice."
The archer nodded, bringing Yelena's hand to her lips once again. It was warm and vital as it squeezed. Kate never wanted to feel it so cold again for as long as she lived. "You want to know when it started for me?"
Yelena had stars in her eyes. "Tell me."
"You had me at 'sweetheart'."
"Ten minutes after meeting you?"
"Yeah," Kate laughed gleefully. "You were so confident. Really cocky. The way you held your revolver like it was nothing. Kind of like how you're holding that rifle now."
Adjusting her grip on the gun, turning it over in the pale light of a cloudy day, Yelena marveled at Kate's honesty, how she always said exactly what she meant without fear of ridicule. "When did you know? When did you really know it was me?"
"When I almost lost you."
"Kate..." Yelena said, stopping their walk. She faced the archer, saw the flash pain in her eyes, and cupped her cheek. Losing so much blood, being in shock, Yelena remembered only fragments of their escape from the compound, but clearly, Kate remembered everything.
"I just couldn't go through that again. Not with you."
"You didn't. You won't."
"Yeah, I- yeah. I know. It was just a wake up call. In this world, you can't let things go unsaid. I wanted to tell you then, do something about it, but you were recovering and I wanted to respect that."
"You and your chivalry."
Grinning, Kate rolled her eyes. "You're lucky you were worth the wait."
"Yeah. I really am lucky."
Rain continued to pour, drawing Yelena's annoyance and Kate's delight. The Widow slipped off her jacket to wrap it protectively around her gun; Kate marveled at the delicate pieces of damp hair glued to Yelena's forehead.
The archer was positively distracted. Distracted by her notebook as she charted their course, distracted by Yelena and her beauty, her allure, her quiet fortitude. Kate was so wholly preoccupied that she allowed the elements to get the better of her. Thanks to the day-long deluge, the ground was made soft, slippery, dangerous. As the incline shifted downhill, Kate felt that gut-wrenchingly familiar jolt of pain in her knee as she slipped on loose rocks, leg giving out as it extended.
Yelena caught her as she fell, strong arms keeping her from tumbling down the hillside. Wordlessly, the blonde led her to a gathering of lower brush, hoping to keep her out of the rain to assess the damage.
Disappointment and a flash of anger in her eyes, Kate flopped dejectedly against the trunk of a tree, injured limb outstretched. She did not watch as Yelena rolled up her pant leg, grimacing. Her only thought was not again, please not again.
"Are you okay?" Yelena finally asked, pressing a kiss to her kneecap before coming to her side. "Just tweaked it?"
"Yeah..." Kate sighed, sickened by the sinking feeling in her stomach and the ringing in her ears that flared every time her knee did. "Yelena, I don't feel so well."
"What's wrong?" Yelena asked, realizing Kate's hands shook. "Kate?"
Kate grit her teeth, trying so desperately but failing so miserably to bite back horribly vivid memories of people screaming, a gunshot, leaping from a roof. She remembered the violence with which she hit the pavement that day, knee shattering to match her psyche. Her stomach turned, her pulse quickened, sweat beaded on her brow.
"Kate," Yelena called again, more urgently. This was clearly about more than just the knee. Lowering her voice, the blonde continued, "I need you to talk to me. What's going on?" She placed a hand on Kate's shoulder, pressing a kiss to her temple as she knelt. "Let me help you, sweetheart."
The softness finally broke her. Distraught, angry tears fell as Kate melted into Yelena's hold, head resting against her chest. The tears flowed more heavily as she remembered Peter begging her to put him out of his misery. Her hand clenched, twitching as if it still held the gun. Calmly, steadily, Yelena welcomed her, cradled her, rubbed her back until she felt calm enough to speak.
"I'm sorry," Kate sniffled, bloodshot eyes glancing apologetically up toward Yelena. "I didn't-" she hiccuped, "I don't know what came over me."
"It's okay," Yelena quickly placated. "It's okay. Are you alright, though? What was that?"
Kate grimaced, eyes shutting involuntarily as if she could block out the horrors of the past. "I never told you how I hurt my knee, did I?"
Yelena gently shook her head. "No."
"Well..." Kate trailed off, eyes cutting to the ground. "It's kind of a long story. Short version, I jumped out of a two story window."
"And the long version?"
"Remember what I yelled at my mom, about how she killed my best friend?"
Yelena's heart dropped. "Yes. You don't have to-"
"I need to," Kate cut in, expression steely. "My mom's scheming in Boston caused a war. That war led to bombs being detonated in Peters's building. It crumbled, collapsed in on him, stuck rebar in his stomach. I pulled him from the rubble, but... the damage had been done. His lungs were filling with blood and every bone in his body was cracked."
Yelena pressed her forehead to Kate's, voice soft and dripping with emotion. "Oh, love, I can't imagine..."
"I killed him." Kate stated resolutely, any lingering sadness replaced with disgust. "He asked me to put a bullet in his head, and I said yes. I stood over him, I pulled the trigger. I fucking killed him."
"You didn't kill him," Yelena replied, words coming more forcefully than she had intended. Kate's eyes snapped open, drawn by the intensity. "She killed him. Not you. You granted him mercy, let him go out how he wanted. You may have pulled the trigger, but your mother loaded the gun and handed it to you. It is not your fault."
Kate nodded, digesting. She said nothing for a long while, eventually shifting to lay on her back, knee outstretched on a flat rock. Over the hours, her eyes would occasionally shine with fresh tears, but neither woman acknowledged them. Instead, Yelena stayed at her side, one hand on her gun, the other resting gently on Kate's thigh.
"I was leaving," Kate said abruptly, cutting through the silence as the moon rose and the rain continued to pour. Her white shirt was stained brown with mud and green with moss, sticking to her abdomen. "I was leaving that day. If only I had convinced him to come with me."
Yelena nodded sagely, thumb rubbing smooth circles over the rough hem of Kate's pants.
Eventually, after agreeing to camp for the night, Kate fell into a restless, fitful sleep, legs thrashing and mumbling incoherent. Yelena pressed herself against tightly against Kate's good leg, hoping to somehow provide a calming presence even in sleep.
The hours grew long and quiet and eventually the rain stopped. In a way it saddened Yelena, as now there was no ambient sound to distract from her thoughts. Despite having Kate right here, literally asleep beside her, the blonde's anxieties ate at her.
Kate was always leaving. She left New York, left her father, left Peter and her mother, left her mother again, and again...
The archer was reclusive by nature, preferring to run from trouble rather than stay and face it. This made Yelena nervous, as she was somehow always being left behind. By her parents, by the system, and most painfully, by Natasha.
Charleston loomed, now only days away. In the silence of the wood, Yelena set down her firearm, reaching into her cargo pocket to retrieve that little purple car. She held it so delicately, pressing it to her chest with a murmured prayer that Kate, her love, her archer, did not leave her as well.
__________________________
Lore that won't come up anywhere else- Steve was married to Peggy before the outbreak. Bucky was in the Air Force with Sam.
I'm back a week early. Enjoy!