Saturn, Sleeping At Last- Performed by Nicholas Henley
Walking On Sunshine, Katrina & The Waves (Gardiner Sisters Version)- Performed by The New Direction Girls
Someone You Loved, Lewis Capaldi- Performed by Nicholas Henley
Heavydirtysoul, Twenty One Pilots- Performed by Nicholas Henley
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Cruel Summer
The first day Quinn turned up at Nicks door once school had finished, he was surprised. She glided past him like an angel, going straight up to his bedroom. It happened a second time, then a third and now a few weeks into summer it was a regular unspoken ritual. He always pretended to be annoyed when he opened the door, but they both knew secretly he was pleased.
One day they were sat in his room watching a film, or at least one of them was. Nick had his eyes trained on the side of the girls face, as she intently focused on the screen. A part of the film made her jump, but she was still so focused on it. She glanced to her side and then looked back at him again, "Why are you watching me and not the film?" Nick was sat with his back against the headboard the girl curled next to him, but their bodies were not touching. Nick knew if his hand grazed hers or their knees accidentally touched it'd be game over. Subtly he tried to defuse the tension, "You keep jumping and it's funny. Didn't realise Quinn Fabray was such a wimp!" Within seconds he's shocked at the next movement from the girl. Her legs swing over him, placed either side of his lap. He could easily lift her off, but he doesn't. Menacingly she stares down at him, "Take that back!" Nick shake his head no with a smirk plastered on it, "I mean it take it back!"
"And what if I don't? What are you going to do about?" Nick challenges. He freezes in place as she leans forward her breath hitting his lips inches away from touching. His eyes stay trained on her mouth, as she looks at his eyes. Then she sees it, she can't tell if it's love or lust but it's there, the need and the want to have her his pupils blown up.
"Quinn..." he breathes out and shuts his eyes, forehead pushing against her own. All it would take is one movement and their lips would connect, inching closer there noses brush. Their heads snap towards Nick's bedroom door as it swings open and in strolls Mackenzie, "Oh shit I'm sorry!" She slams the door shut, seeing the blonde girl straddled over he cousin.
Quinn quickly removes herself and Nick lets out an exasperated sigh. He glances over at Quinn and sees the look on her face, she's flustered. He doesn't know what to do or what to say so to make it better, but he's sure his face is as red as hers. "Mack come in, I know you're still lurking out there!" Nick yells and for the second time his bedroom door flies open. "I didn't know you guys were ya know..." Mack makes a in appropriate gesture with her hands as she walks back in with a irritatingly smug face.
"No...we're not." Nick starts, but Quinn cuts over him, "It's not like that!" Quinn defensively tells the girl, who has yet two wipe the smirk of her face.
"I'm just gonna leave. I'm sorry." Quinn stands up flustered.
"I'll see you out!" Nick begins to stand, but is cut off by Quinn, "No it's fine! I'm fine I'll message you later Nick." The girl hurriedly leaves the room and the Henley cousins look at each other, Nick takes one look at his baby cousins face and can see the mischievous glint in her eyes, "Don't even!" She holds her hands up in surrender and jumps back onto his bed, the two playing video games into the late evening not talking about the incident that nearly happened.
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Rosé Kitt was to be cremated in Ohio, with a memorial plaque there and one in her hometown of Bath in England.
On the day of her funeral Nick stood in the mirror looking at himself, he could never get his tie right. A voice sounds from the door, "Why do you have so much trouble with ties? It's quite comical." His grandad walks over and does it properly for him, Nick then turns to look in the mirror again, his shoulders drop, "I don't think I can do this today pops."
"Look at me Nico." The boy does as he's told, "You are the most incredible human I know and maybe I'm a little biased because you're my grandson, but I know you're going to do great today. You stand up tall, you smile, you cry, you feel Nico. You feel those emotions because that is what makes you human. Fuck everyone who tells you not to cry or to bottle it up, you let it out okay? Whatever emotion it is, just feel it!" His grandad finishes as Nick nods, they hear a horn beeping and Nick looks at his grandad with a determined face, "Come on! We better get moving."
Everyone was seated inside, Nick was a pallbearer and they were a person short, he looks over in the crowd and yells, "Finn?" The tall boy turns towards him pointing at himself, "Can you come help us please?" The boy nods and lets go of Rachel's hand as he walks over taking Nick into a hug, "Are you sure? I don't want to overstep, I didn't know your mom that well." Nick puts his hand on his shoulder, "You're always there when I need you though Hudson and right now I need you." Finn nods and pats the boys shoulder before walking off to be told what to do.
"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen! Today we celebrate the life of Rosé Kitt, gone far too soon." Nick sits and stares at the picture of his mom, he doesn't hear when his name is called by the priest.
"Nick, Nick!" Mackenzie shakes his arm from next to him, "Huh? Oh sorry! Sorry I'm coming." Nick makes his way onto the stage and looks out at the rows of people sat in the pews. He can see Tyler and a few members of the ice hockey team, Mr Schue and the New Directions, Miss Pilsbury, even coach Williams turned up, but then he sees her and she's staring right at him and he freezes in place. He hadn't heard much from her, an odd text here and there, but she was distant and Nick knew why. As he stood there it was like she had forgotten why she'd withdrew from him. She softly smiles at him and he's snapped back into reality, he leans into the mic but jumps a little when it has feedback, "H--hi everyone. Erm, thanks for coming. I never thought I'd be up here for my mom. One because I thought she would beat it and two because I didn't know her until recently. After years of thinking she didn't care for me because of well...he who shall not be named, I erm I didn't know how much she actually did care for me. The second I reached out, she was on a plane the next week and she had no intentions of leaving me again." Nick clears his throat carrying on, "And though she is gone, she's still here and everyone who got the pleasure of knowing her will forever be blessed with knowing that she'll always be here." Nick points to his heart, wiping his eyes he takes a deep breath, "I only got to have a few months with her and they were best of my life. I'm not particularly good with words on how I'm feeling, but I know how to sing how I'm feeling so if it's okay... that's what I would like to do." Nick stands up and heads over to the piano.
He shuts his eyes as he begins to play the opening keys.
"You taught me the courage of stars before you left
How light carries on endlessly, even after death
With shortness of breath
You explained the infinite
And how rare and beautiful it is to even exist
I couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again
I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen
I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time
That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes
I couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again
I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen
I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time
That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes
With shortness of breath
I'll try to explain the infinite
And how rare and beautiful it is to even exist
With shortness of breath
I'll try to explain the infinite
And how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist."
The service was over and the wake was at Breadstix. Nick was sat in a booth, but he needed to get out, he knew cared and was being kind, but he was overwhelmed. He managed to escape the booth heading straight outside. Standing down the side of the alley he reached into his suit pocket, pulling a cigarette out, just as he put it to his lips he hears a voice, "That's a bad habit you know?"
He lit the cigarette staring at the pretty blonde girl who was now stood in front off him. She smirked as she placed it in her own mouth and took a drag. He raised an eyebrow questioningly at her, "Aren't you full of surprises Layla Boston?" The girl was stood in her waitressing outfit as she blew the smoke out, he leaned against the wall watching her intently. She moved closer to him and pulled his tie so she could get closer to his ear, "You don't know the half of it." She lets go and it was as if something had just struck him, "You better get back in there. They're looking for you!" As if on cue he can hear someone shouting his name, he stubs the cigarette out just as his grandad comes round the corner, "Ah there you are!"
His grandad eyes Layla suspiciously as she walks by and then turns back to Nick, "I go to school and work with her Grandad. She was just giving me her condolences."
"Sure she was! Come on you need to come inside." His grandad says ushering the boy inside.
"Hi we're from the glee club. We'd like to sing a song, if it's okay with you Nick?" The girls from the New Directions are stood up on the stage as the boy nods towards them giving them his approval, they begin to sing an acoustic version of Walking on Sunshine and he knows straight away its Quinn's idea as she is the only one who knows what the song means to him. At the end he walks up and hugs each of them, the performance meant more to him than any of them would ever know. He reached Quinn and she looked at him shyly but in that moment no matter how distant she was he didn't care as he bought her into a hug.
The wake was winding down and Nick got up on the stage, "Hi eveyone I just wanted to thank you all for coming. It's meant a lot. I'm gonna perform the last song of the night."
"I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy
I need somebody to heal
Somebody to know
Somebody to have
Somebody to hold
It's easy to say
But it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to
This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you
Now, I need somebody to know
Somebody to heal
Somebody to have
Just to know how it feels
It's easy to say but it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around
For now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
But now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved."
There wasn't a dry eye in the house as the wake came to an end. Nick was saying goodbye to everyone as he stood at the door. Coach Williams and his wife are the last to leave, "Iceman. I'm so proud of you today! You were amazing!"
Nick has a small smile as he gives the coach a hug, "Thanks Coach. For everything." The coach pulled back and looked at the boy, knowing what his words meant. Not just for today but for all the stuff he had done for him, "Oh Nick I want you to meet my wife. This is her."
"Hi sweetheart. You were incredible today. It's no wonder Walt speaks so highly of you and Tyler. You both seem like lovely boys." Nick smiled feeling the warmth of the lady in front of him as she complimented his character.
"Thank you Mrs Williams." He said.
"You can call me Wilma, darling." She leans in and tells him.
"Honey come one we better go, I think someone else is waiting to talk to Nick." He looks at his coach confused but then follows his eyes to where he's looking and sees a blonde a few yards away, looking sheepish as she leans against the wall.
"It was lovely to meet you Wilma and I'll see you back at school coach!" Nick bids farewell as he turns and walks towards the former head cheerleader waiting for him.
The two wound up back at his laying on his bed in their funeral clothes facing one another, he didn't know how they ended up here after not talking for awhile but it felt right. He was looking at her face memorising every detail as if she might disappear at any moment.
"Why have you been avoiding me?" He asks.
She closes her eyes for a second inhaling and then stares right at him. He never realised that her eyes weren't actually blue until this moment like he'd always thought.
They were beautiful a mix of green and brown with speck of gold, he wanted to get lost into them all day, but right now he couldn't afford to fall and drag her into his mess.
"I'm not sure Nick. It just all feels scary." She whispers out. He takes a second and then looks at her, "What does?"
"It's stupid. I should haven't said anything. I'm gonna go, I shouldn't have come." She turns on her back and stands up, he grabs her hand, "Quinn... stay. Please?"
"I don't think it's a good idea Nick." She replies honestly.
"As my friend, nothing more nothing less. Just lay here with me." He knows he sounds desperate, but right now he needs someone to be with him. After several suspenseful seconds she lays back down, "Okay."
The next morning the two wake up, limbs entangled. The girls eyes flutter open, but Nicks are still closed. She runs her fingers down from his forehead to his jaw, he nuzzles into her and she can't help the smile that graces her face.
"Nick? Come on wake up? I need to sneak out before your grandad wakes up." Quinn begs him. She feels him smile into her neck and she huffs, "Nick I know you can hear me? Get up!" She hits his arm that's over her waist, "Fine, fine I'm up! My pops loves you anyways he'd be fine with you staying over." Nick tells her as much as she wants to smile knowing that his grandad liked her, the insecurities take over. She looks at him as he leans his head back, "I've literally just given birth and now I'm in your bed. He'll think I'm a hussy who drops her knickers for everyone." Nick doesn't reply for a second, he was upset that she saw herself like that. He reached forward and played with the ends of her hair, "You know my grandad would never think of you like that. He adores you...just like I..." Nick catches himself and carries on, "But you're not like that Quinn and even if you were it's nobodies business. I wouldn't ever entertain the idea that something happened in this room that didn't. I hope you know that."
"You're too pure for this world Nicholas Henley." She mutters out.
"Come on let's get you home." He stands up and reaches out for her hand, which she gladly accepts.
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The first proper party of the summer was in full swing. It was one of the hockey boys birthday, so Nick knew he had to go or Tyler would come and drag him by his ear. Nick was already quite drunk when he saw the blonde mass of hair. Red cup in his right hand he stood up and headed over to the direction she went in. Just as he was about to call out her name, someone said his. He turned and saw another blonde girl staring at him, "Layla. Hi, how are you?"
"I didn't think this was your scene Henley? I thought singing in a show choir was your go to?" She sarcastically states. He chugs the rest of the drink in his cup and looks down at her, "I'm a man of many talents. Now I need a refill I'll catch up with you later?"
"Maybe? Maybe not?" She shrugs and walks past him, brushing against the front off him.
He was yet to see Quinn since he saw her walk in. He had a few too many and all he wanted to do was find her. He stumbled outside and saw her sat with Santana, Britt and a few other cheerleaders and football players.
"Yo Henley!" He hears Puck call out.
"Puckerman! I would say it's nice to see you but I'd be lying." Nick admits as he walks past them a bit further up the garden. He hopes she gets the hint and follows. As he puts the cigarette into his mouth about to light it he hears her voice, "You know that kills right?" He shrugs as he lights it, "So does everything else. Life is life, death is death." She scrunches her face up, confused at what he's saying, "That made no sense whatsoever. You must be very drunk." He chuckles and looks at her, putting his hands in the air, "Guilty."
She lingers not really knowing what to do as she watches the boy inhale and exhale the cigarette, he catches her looking and throws the cigarette end away, he extends his hand, "You wanna go get a refill?" She takes it but doesn't move, and instead steps closer to him, "I'm designated driver Nick. I'm not drinking. And I think right now I need to get you home before you do anything you'll regret tomorrow." She pulls him along and he accepts that he's being made to go home.
The drive was silent, but as they pulled up on the familiar street Quinn pulled the key out the ignition.
"Deja Vu." Nick murmured, as he turned to face her, Quinn doing the same for him.
"Can I kiss you?" Nick blurts out. Quinn chuckles ignoring everything in her body that is telling her to say yes, "No Nick you're drunk."
"But I'm aware of what I'm doing and right now... I really want to kiss you." He leans forward and she begins to lean as well, but she puts a hand to his chest, "I—I can't." She sees the hurt look on his face, "I better erm I'm gonna go... thanks for the lift." Nick hurriedly gets out the car, swaying as he quickly walks up to his house. Quinn began to get out the car, "Nick wait!" It was too late he'd made it inside, she wanted to explain, but he was already gone.
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A few days had past and neither Nick or Quinn reached out to one another. He was embarrassed, had he dreamt up all those moments they had together? Was it all in his head? His holiday to Italy with his grandad gave him some time to reflect and he knew he had to get over the girl. He couldn't do this whatever it was they had, more then friends but less then lovers. It was torture.
In Italy his grandad met a lady named Esther who was an author, he knew straight away his grandad was smitten. He hadn't seen him that happy in years. Nick knew if his grandad could he'd moved back to his home of Italy in a heartbeat and knowing Esther was there made it that much harder to leave.
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The rest of summer flew by. Nick worked every shift he could at Breadstix. He barley worked with Layla she was often in on the days he was off, but every Tuesday was the shift they had together. One shift he walked in tying his apron around his waist, "Looking good Henley." She quipped as she brushed last him.
The harmless flirting turned into meetings in the stock room cupboard during quiet moments. Her legs around his waist as he attacked her neck with feverish kisses. This carried on for the rest of summer.
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The last party of the summer was a big one Nick really didn't want to go, but Layla persuaded him. Once again he was drunk and he kind of liked the feeling, it numbed everything else, if anything tried to crop up in his mind, he'd have another drink. He sat on the couch arm around Layla, they weren't in a relationship but they were together. The girl was fun and wild and Nick liked it she was dangerous and the more he got to know her the more drawn in he felt.
"Iceman! You're on the mic now!" He hears Tyler call.
"No man no I don't feel up to it!" Nick shouts back, but he knows Tyler won't give in. Everyone's eyes are on him, Layla leans into his ear and softly whispers, "You do it and I'll have something waiting for you back here. How does that sound?"
"I'm coming Tyler." Nick shoots up and grabs the mic. He looks at the list knowing he wants to do something upbeat then he sees it, Heavydirtysoul.
"There's an infestation in my mind's imagination
I hope that they choke on smoke 'cause I'm smoking them out the basement
This is not rap, this is not hip-hop
Just another attempt to make the voices stop
Rapping to prove nothing, just writing to say something
'Cause I wasn't the only one who wasn't rushing to say nothing
This doesn't mean I lost my dream
It's just right now I got a really crazy mind to clean
Gangsters don't cry
Therefore, therefore I'm
Mr. Misty-eyed, therefore I'm
Can you save, can you save my
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
Can you save, can you save my
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
For me, for me, uh
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
For me, for me, uh
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
Nah, I didn't understand a thing you said
If I didn't know better I'd guess you're all already dead
Mindless zombies walking around with a limp and a hunch
Saying stuff like, "You only live once"
You've got one time to figure it out
One time to twist, and one time to shout
One time to think and I say we start now
Sing it with me if you know what I'm talking about
Gangsters don't cry
Therefore, therefore I'm
Mr. Misty-eyed, therefore I'm
Can you save, can you save my
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
Can you save, can you save my
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
For me, for me, uh
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
For me, for me, uh
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
Death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit
Death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit
Can you save, can you save my
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
Can you save, can you save my
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
For me, for me, uh
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
For me, for me, uh
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
Can you save, can you save my, save my
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?
Can you save, can you save my, save my
Can you save my heavy dirty soul?"
Everyone was cheering as he made his way back over to Layla. He stood in front of her with a boyish grin on his face, she grabbed his shirt pulling him down to meet her and smashes her lips onto his. At this moment Quinn Fabray walked into the room and as she looked over at the boy she felt a twang in her heart and a drop in her tummy. She left the party right away, tears in her eyes and she knew right then she was going to get over Nicholas Henley.
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As the new school year approached he had already distanced himself from the New Directions. He didn't want the stress or the drama of the club. It was like he was forgetting why he loved it in the first place. On the first day off school he marched right into Mr Schues office, "Nick what can I do for you?" Nick takes a deep breath and then looks at the man, "I'm really sorry Mr Schue, but I erm I quit."