Today was the last day for all of-age students at the local highschool. Although the highschool was built for all factions, the students from other factions almost never mingled unless forced but today even the abnegation seemed more lively than usual during their lunch break. In their own way, of course.
"Wow Bishop, I don't think I've ever seen you this quiet. The world must be ending soon" America says, walking up to a silent Katherine who sat leaned up against a tree.
Katherine chuckles at her childhood friend, "Shut up Meri. I'm just trying to take everything in how it is. After tomorrow things will be different."
America nods, taking a seat next to her friend, "what are you thinking Katherine, tell me about what's on your mind and none of the, 'I'm fine, others have it worse' abnegation bullshit "
The both of them chuckle at the irony, they both had been brought up to prioritize everyone and everything before they were ever supposed to think of themselves. Katherine found that belief difficult, she often word vomited — providing much more information than anyone ever asks for. This led to lots of reprimands for being self-indulgent as a child.
"I know everyone probably thinks I'm a shoo-in for Candor but I'm not sure. Really, I don't even know what I want the test to tell me. I'm afraid it'll tell me that I have to leave, but I think I'm even more afraid it will tell me to stay."
"Hey— don't overthink it. That's the test's job, it'll tell you where you're meant to be and if anything you can ignore the results. Choose whatever you feel is right" America said giving Katherine a warm smile.
"You don't think it's selfish to leave my mom behind all alone? After my dad died she was never really the same and it's not like I've got siblings" Kate said chewing on her bottom lip as she fought with herself internally.
America laughed softly, "God, now you've got me thinking that you've got to stay in Abnegation with how selfless you are. Katherine, it's okay to be selfish just this once. This is the rest of your life that we're talking about here. You only get one choice, you don't get to change your mind after the ceremony so don't make a decision you'll regret."
Katherine paused taking in the advice, "You're right. There's no point in stressing about it I suppose, everything will work out the way it's meant to. Now, enough about me, do you think you'll stay here?"
"Oh god no, I hope not. If I have to go the rest of my life eating at a silent dinner table, and being told I'm letting evil consume me when I look too long in a mirror or speak out of turn— I think I just might join the factionless" America said, sending both girls into laughter.
"I think you'll suit Candor" Katherine smiled.
"To be honest, I'm kinda hoping that's what the test will say. Something about having everything out in the open" America said with a cheeky smile.
There was a fine line between brutal honesty and giving opinions that weren't needed and most people in candor couldn't tell the difference. Both girls shared traits of other factions, it's what drew them to each other and all their abnegation peers away. Other Abnegation parents were weary about their children hanging out too often with the pair — worried that their self-indulgent habits would rub off on their kids.
Katherine looked down at her watch and sighed when she saw the time, "I think I'm going to get going so I can choose the farthest seat in the back for next period because we're watching a history documentary but I'll see you tomorrow for aptitude testing, okay?"
America nodded before hugging the girl goodbye leaving Katherine to be lost in her mind as she walked to the empty classroom.
Tomorrow would be the most defining moment in Katherine Bishop's life. All eighteen year olds must participate in an aptitude test to determine which faction they would be the most suitable in. It was simple enough, the events were meant to be kept a secret but Katherine's mother had instructed her on the traditions, insistent that Katherine could not embarrass her — a Council leader.
The aptitude test was a simulation that would cancel out factions depending on your choices and actions though the test results are absolute, if someone wanted to choose a different faction despite their results they could.
The next day is the choosing ceremony, all of the soon to be initiates along with their parents and a handful of old members from the factions will be in attendance. Every eighteen year old will walk up and create a small cut to bleed into a bowl with their new or returning faction.
Faction before blood .
Katherine's head snapped up, hearing the words. They had been instilled into all of them at a young age but it was difficult for Katherine. Sure, her mother was not the warmest person but Katherine liked to think she had done the best she could considering the fact that she had to raise her daughter alone.
There weren't many single mothers in abnegation, and even less who ran for leadership positions. Katherine looked up to her mother in many ways but there were some days where she couldn't forget the way her mom would treat her as if it were her fault dad was dead.
The rest of the school day passed by in a blur, most days were like that for abnegation, ignored by quite literally everyone at school and even her own faction in Katherine's case.
When the dismissal bell rang, Katherine decided against riding the bus home. It was going to be an hour walk but she was feeling antsy and just couldn't find it within herself to sit on the bus with the obnoxiously loud Candors.
She sat for a while to let the school empty out a bit before she adjusted the straps on her backpack and broke into a sprint. She found it freeing, the feeling of her lungs burning when she started to get tired but pushed herself regardless.
It was April, the warmness of spring still hadn't come into full effect so the cold air left a pink tint on her cheeks and made her nose slightly runny.
Katherine arrived panting, making sure to take off her shoes and put her near empty backpack in her room. Her mother hated when there was a mess so Katherine made sure there never was one.
Her mother would be home late, it was a Tuesday and as a council leader, it was her mothers job to take part in a weekly meeting so Katherine usually made dinner. She would eat alone and leave the rest on a stove pot so her mother could also eat whenever she got home.
She let her mind wander as her hands worked cutting lettuce, shaving the carrots, and heating the bread.
Secretly, she's always admired the Dauntless. Abnegation elders always refer to them as abrasive and moronic decision makers but to Katherine, they were the epitome of freedom.
The way they skip the bus and instead run in a small pack back to their faction. Their all black clothing makes them look fierce and brave, not stiff and boring like Abnegation. No, Dauntless always made a statement. Whether it was outwardly through their bold actions or quietly by their intimidating stance.
Soon Katherine was eating absentmindedly, her body performing the actions out of habit. This was the life she would be doomed to for the rest of her life if she stayed. Sure she could find someone to live the rest of her life with, but they would never truly be hers.
Their loyalties would be to serve others and not themselves. Abnegation taught that love could make you selfish if you let it consume you so their form of dating looked different than other factions.
While other factions freely expressed their affection for one another, public displays of affection were limited in Abnegation. Most children went their whole lives without seeing their parents kiss. Holding hands was seen as scandalous if you weren't married. If someone was interested in pursuing someone they would have to ask their parents for permission to court— this looked like having dinner at each other's homes often.
The thought was suffocating.
Beginning her nightly routine, she thought of the positives of Abnegation. After all, it wasn't all bad.
Katherine sometimes loved the routine of it all. They got their fulfillment by helping others, expressing their love by giving everything they have. Katherine was known for her bleeding heart, although most times it didn't feel as easy to her to give up everything for someone else, there was hardly anything she wouldn't do to save someone else.
She saved countless stray dogs and cats who were injured, only to be chastised by her mother when Katherine insisted on keeping them— pets were considered self-indulgent after all. Still, there was a beauty to it all.
Katherine wondered if losing the only person in her family was worth it, worth the freedom. Her dream suddenly didn't seem so unattainable as long as she didn't let the guilt eat her alive. With a restless mind, she forced herself to go to bed with the reassurance that the test would tell her what was the right thing to do.