🌂 Your night didn't go off as you wished you thought it would be with Ugetsu on your side the entire time.
Warning: a bit of angst.
somewhat toxic behaviour.
Not proofread.
🌂
" I almost forgot that I gave you a spare key to my house. "
You stared at his face as if he was the most loathed man alive and you felt a little annoyed, albeit, it wasn't entirely about his existence standing before you ( but yes, there was a part of it ) -- it was more with the fact that he just had to embrace you as if your life was on the line. Being on a predicament some time ago back in school with the
As always, his hair was a mess, his dark brown curly locks were all tangled, framing his face. It was a surprise that he didn't burn you with the cigarette he had in hand and you stared at it for a quick second, a sort of temptation luring you towards the stick and you thought a good smoke would have been good right now. His eyes spoke of teasing vanished as soon as he caught the sight of your cheek and the pained look that you had been trying to hide ever since you stepped out of the hallway where that bastard decided to let out his frustration of not being Yuri's lover to you.
And if there was one thing that you would be proud of, it was that you could read Ugetsu very well. It was the fact that you've been with him since your childhood, and for you, really, he was a person that could easily be read. You wondered if he thought of you the same with the years that you've spent together as friends. Best friends.
It was still clear as the sky remembering the first time that you met him, funny, because all the times that you tried to forget about your past, he was one of the only person that you didn't let go of despite the problems that the two of you face with each other as close friends.
Jealousy wasn't a feeling that constantly hit you when you were with him sometimes, it wasn't that big to the point that you hate him, but it wasn't that small either that you've thought lowly of yourself. Perhaps it was the fact that he was living a fair life back then when you didn't. Perhaps it was the fact that he was talented with his instrument while you were falling down back then. You watched him strive as the man - the world renowned violinist. The prodigy. What does an exceptionally talented man had to do with somebody who was nothing without their so-called talent? Such insecurities made your heart throb in guilt and knowing that you felt it because of him felt more worse than it already was. He was your best friend for goodness sake, at least cheer him up and support him so that he could strive more - and you did and still do. Afterall, those insecurities were silent and hidden, to be never voiced to him because behind the serious façade that he put in front of of everyone, Ugetsu was a sensitive man.
You've known that because you were with him all this time, the way that he was frustrated when he came off as second place on a competition, even though tears only threatened to fall from his eyes, you knew it was there. He wanted to soar everything related to the instrument he's been playing for years because that was the only thing that made him - feel him. Music was his gateway, you've never seen anyone escape their emotions towards their instrument like how he had done. The mere rich vibrations of the strings that he play with his bow, the way that his body swayed with the music that he plays, eyes closed - Ugetsu knew how to execute his emotions with music, but with the language of his body - that was a matter that you couldn't say that he does a good job so greatly.
You frowned at the mess that he had done on the coffee table of the living room, passing by in a brisk walk, enough to see cans of soft beer, junk foods, and a pack of cigarettes. You wouldn't get so irate at this time with this doing of his -- this was the third time he had barged in your house without any warning, although those times were where your mother wasn't gone, this was the first time that he went in like he owned the house - but with your circumstances just earlier, you were ten times more exasperated.
Trudging towards your room with not so much limp on your feet, you find the door already opened and you are more aware of your surroundings than before.
You always have your room's door closed and locked every time you go outside the house, so obviously - Ugetsu went there. You huffed tiredly and tossed your bag carelessly on the ground, uncaring if your phone was there and would have cracked, you didn't bother switching the lighting on, leaving the door ajar was enough for any comforting light to sleep through the room. Chairo was ignored despite his cute purrs that would have brought you with picking him up and showering him with attention.
Immediately, you laid yourself on the comfort of your bed, your back pressing against the plush surface. Even though you knew that it was soft enough, you'd still feel discomfort when you press your face against it. You closed your eyes and tried to shut your whole consciousness completely but it was hard with the fact that footsteps approached your room in an almost sauntering manner.
" Don't bother me. " you muttered under your breath, hearing his footsteps coming to a halt near your door. You didn't hear much after that and you almost fell into a deep slumber.
Almost.
You felt weight shifting near you, on your bed.
" What happened to your face? "
" I miss you, would have been nice. "
There was no humor laced your voice as you turned your body to the left, eyes never opening to see what expression was plastered on his face. You felt him shift again and the next thing you knew, your arms were being gently stretched and your body got pulled so suddenly that you find yourself sloppily seated on the surface of your bed.
Ugetsu's face was near as his eyes scanned yours, both of his warm hands cupping either side of your cheek - in which when you felt the first small pressure on your right cheek, you couldn't resist wincing in pain.
You avoided his gaze by moving your eyes elsewhere but him, a frown quickly drawing your lips. There were short seconds that went past and in that brief moment, the only thing that you could hear was the silent ticks of your wall clock and the meows coming from Chairo. Even when you didn't look at him directly in the eyes, you could feel his concern radiating around the room. Moments like this where you felt somebody feel concern towards you, especially someone like Ugetsu - you would have pushed him away and lie that you were fine.
Questions like: are you fine or are you doing okay? were waved off with an agreement, because if you were verbal that you weren't, what were they - what was he going to do about it?
Comfort you with words? You were going to be honest that you feel appreciated when they do, but everything was the same. It was all repetitive. Don't worry, everything's going to be fine. You're going to be fine. Cheer up, it's just a bad day, tomorrow will be better.
In the state of vulnerability though, you couldn't and didn't bring yourself to remove his contact from yours. Instead, you replied, another lie that you hoped was convincing enough, wanting everything to be over.
Sleep fixes everything right?
" The hallways got packed earlier this morning and...I got pushed and here were are, " The way that your shuffled in your seat made him pull his hand away from your face but the genuine concern he had was still there. You chuckled, a foolish attempt to lighten the mood up and for your lie to be more convincing enough. To at least, make it seem all not a big deal. " I tripped and smacked my face on the floor. "
His face scrunched in thought before he faced you with seriousness in his eyes much to your chagrin.
" There's more than just hitting your face on the floor in order for you to have that bruise on your face. Now tell me, what really happened. Don't lie to me. "
If there was one thing that you hated about Ugetsu, it would be his persistence. He'd always been like this with you from the start and it was really in his character to be like this that it was impossible to change. So you took a deep exasperated breath, knowing that he'll just keep on bugging you until you finally let out the truth. A frown quickly etched your lips, you didn't look at him in the eyes, rather your pair of orbs were focused on your lap.
" Somebody punched me and then- " You pointed to your cheek where the bruise was, " -they gave me this. " Ugetsu was silent for quite some time and you found that unnerving. You searched for any other expression from his face, but all you could see from him was the frown, it seemed to deepen compared from seconds ago and you thought that it didn't quite suit him.
" Who did this to-"
" I'm not telling you. " He huffed in obvious frustration, either from your reply, or the way that you didn't let him finish his question. His face quickly relaxed into a more calmer expression though, standing up from your bed as it made some slight creaks. You watched as he strides towards the door, your confusion stayed silent but it seemed like he heard it with the way that he told you that he was going to grab some ice added with a " We need to treat that. " in an obvious tone.
His figure disappeared completely after that and was quick to reappear. Your bed squeaked as his knees pressed against it first before his whole body did facing you with the said wound reliever.
He gave you the ice, cloth covered and pressed it against your cheek - diving your back on your bed to lay. You closed your eyes after that, although sleep was a thrown off thought knowing that he'd be here to tend your would for some time, there were still some lingering thoughts imagining that he wasn't about to and as rude as it could be - you wished that he wasn't with you.
Oh how you wanted to be alone as of this moment.
You stayed like that for a while. Thankful, that Ugetsu didn't pop your quiet bubble. Breathing through your nose...eyes shut...slight pressure and cold temperature against your cheek...But as much as you'd like to live in that lone fantasy, you had to face Ugetsu's presence.
Your face scrunched when he pinched your cheek that's unharmed, a small hiss coming from you. He rolled his eyes with a smile on his face as he stood up, " You should do this again before heading off to sleep. " You whipped your head to his direction, midway to door. " I am going to sleep. Like - right now. " Upon reaching the door, he turned to you and shook his head as if a mother disappointed when she saw her son eating cookies messily from a jar that she told not to move, wiggling out his index finger in the air.
" You can't head off to sleep without eating dinner. " Then a smile appeared - genuine at that, different from his teasing or the sarcastic curve of his lips. " Besides, you said you've been craving cold soba right? "
There was rumble that echoed around the room, it would have been unheard if either of you weren't that silent. You held your clothed belly and a visible pout formed in your lips, a little embarrassed that you were quick to feel the want of eating the mentioned food.
Ugetsu chuckled at this and a yelp soon escaping after when you've thrown a pillow straight to his face.
🌂
" So how's it between the two of you? "
It was a question that you should have been the first to ask. Anything Akihiko related would have been the topic in a peaceful dinner between two of you. Clearly, Ugetsu knew how much you hated his ex (?) boyfriend. It was in your voice, in your facial expression - your overall body language that Akihiko was just not the guy.
The roles were reversed now though, Ugetsu was the one who had asked - not you.
And you were going to be honest that you were slightly taken aback. First reason was, he rarely tackles the concept of you and your now, ex- girlfriend. Second, was the topic was sort of...an uncomfortable topic to mention about. But fully understanding that he didn't know what really was in between the two of you, you thought that he deserved to know what happened.
At least that's the only thing you're only going to tell him for now.
The other one, you feared what would come out from that mouth of his. You wouldn't expect it to be harsh, but you knew that it was cause a heavy feeling in your chest - so you took a sip from the can of cola and set aside the burning of your throat.
" We broke up. "
Funnily enough, he paused comically. The thin noodles of the cold soba halfway from his mouth, eyes widening in a fraction with his brows creasing. You tried to get rid of whatever mood rose between the two of you. Well, it was more like your mood. Ugetsu was just shocked, perhaps a bit curious in your statement.
You rolled your eyes with a small smile before setting the can down, sighing as you said with a halfhearted tone.
" Cheer up, it's not like you were the one that broke up with their girlfriend. "
There was a tense atmosphere that seemed to radiate after you told him that, his expression shifting just by a bit of fraction. Perhaps it was the sarcasm in your tone that might've offended him or the deeper concept of breaking up with someone.
You didn't want any bad blood to form between the two of you — it happened once and it led to something that you hated, so you shook your head a little and dismissed the topic of you with half conscious of escaping those words.
" It's not like it matters — anyways, how has it been between the two of you? " The sudden shift brought his eyes to widen once more but he calmed down a second later, something that you were thankful for. It was somehow rude. Tossing a sensitive topic that's also sensitive towards a person, especially to Ugetsu who's a sensitive man. It's a wonder how he wasn't exploding right now. If it really was more of a triggering subject, he would have lashed out in front of you right now, it might cause a scene — so you're content enough that he just sighed and shook his head the same way that you did yours but a bit more stressed and unsure.
" I don't know. "
" Of course you don't." You bitterly thought.
It was silent between the two of you after that, the tension between the two of you quickly resolves into an awkward one. It's much better compared to the former but still, you felt a little antsy with the quietness. Knowing that this would be like this for a while if you didn't act do something about it, you asked him what country he would competing in as he won the nationals. You watched as he took a sip from the can of beer, a drink that he was so adamant about when you persuaded that he shouldn't be drinking that tonight. You didn't want him to carry a grown ass man to his car just because he's gotten himself wasted with beer but there was use. He's just as stubborn as he could get.
" New York. "
" Lucky. " He smiled at that, he knew how much you wanted to go to that big city in America. Something that you were also quite jealous of was the fact that he could go to many places with his talent. He had went to New York a couple of times, either from the command of his father or competitions, you guessed he's probably lost count with going back and forth from Japan to New York.
" I'd take you there, you just have to ask. "
" I'd probably be too busy with college if I asked for it in the next four years. " You replied with an amused tone. It was true, college was a bummer for vacations. They said that you will barely have time for that when you reached that last stage for education. The only exception was if the course you'd be taking gives you time for vacating and much like Ugetu's for example, he's a music major and a prodigy, perhaps he didn't even need to study with how good he already was.
It wasn't like you were planning to take that major for college, that was your first choice back then actually. Back when you were still motivated with music, but when it died down and you decided for art, you already wanted to be an art major. It was something that you've been saving up for. But now that you were slowly coming to music? You didn't know. It wasn't that big to easily persuade you to shift your decision but you also didn't want this small talent of yours...to be wasted.
" [Name]? " Your eyes blinked and focused back to Ugetsu who's probably been staring at you concerned for a while.
" Are you okay? You zoned out. " The redness of his face becomes more obvious, the kick of the strong beer he's drinking was definitely rubbing his system now. He probably looked more dazed than you were seconds ago, it's a wonder how he didn't act drunk. Maybe his wild personality that only came out when drinking finally has changed?
" Yeah, I'm okay. "
.
..
...
" I love you soooooooooooooooo much! Do you know that? I hope you do...You told me that when I was in high school and...and...I c...could just kiss you right hic! now! "
You were absolutely not okay.
You struggled to walk whilst helping the drunken Ugetsu back to the car, a light blush coating your cheeks. It wasn't because of his words, but the attention that you were gathering from the passerbys. You were in Tokyo afterall, people were still so any at night and the amount of dignity you have was slowly decreasing with the words of affections you were getting from your best friend.
You pushed his face away from yours as he tried to get near your space and rolled your eyes when you watch him pout, mumbling about how you didn't love him anymore. And seconds later, he weeped.
Ugetsu, really fucking cried and more eyes were drawn on your forms. It was a good thing that you arrive in the parking lot, no more people to watch the scene that Ugetsu was causing and with you drowning in utter embarrassment. You searched for the car keys in his pockets and ignored the way that he was still crying over nothing, managing to open the door to the backseat quickly and gently pushing his body inside. He struggled in your grasp, mumbling about how he didn't want you to leave him and you replied with a small tired, " I won't. "
He looked at you with teary eyes, nodding like a baby before he finally relaxed in his seat though still mumbling incohorently. You closed the door and went for the driver's seat, pushing the keys to the keyhole as the engine started before your hands gripped on the side of the steering wheel. You paused, staring deeply at where your hands were grasping. Eyes drifting to the mirror where you could see Ugetsu in the verge of falling in deep sleep, you looked at him pitifully.
Ugetsu...I can't guarantee a safe travel...I've only had ever driven a car for about three times and those were only test drives...
🌂
Thankfully, with no road accidents that's happened (though there were a few honks sent your way as you drived the car), you arrived safely at your home. You shut the door of the driver's seat and woke up Ugetsu from his slumber, he was more calmer now than he used to be earlier before the driver but he's still clinging to you like a koala. Still, the walk through the front yard and to the front door was difficult with his full body leaning against you for support with his dazed mind and with his head leaning against your left shoulder, the pungent smell of alcohol that came out from his mouth was the only thing that you could smell. You're trying not to vomit from it.
When you managed to open the entrance of the house, you didn't bother removing your shoes, having your priority was to let your best friend rest and don't do anything stupid while he's out of it. You could remember the last time that you left him off when he was still actively drinking in his apartment. This man drunk off in his mind thought it was a good idea to know if he could jump from the rooftop of his apartment to the car that was parked outside the garage.
You stopped in the living room and tried to push his body towards the long couch, mumbling to him that he should sleep now since he was a total wreck.
" Your bedroom, " He muttered in your ear, and you would have recorded him with how whiny his voice has sounded if it wasn't for the fact that you were tired and the light bruise-like pain on your stomach." In your bedroom please. " You sighed and nodded, agreeing with his request.
I guess I have to sleep in the couch for tonight.
" Just for today. " You huffed as you guided him towards your bedroom. Opening the door brought light to illuminate the darkness inside and with a few more steps, you finally got to let Ugetsu rest on the comfort of your plush bed You frowned at the way that his body splayed on the soft surface and took the overall space of the bed.
Feeling the wave of fatigue crashing on your body with a small yawn escaping your lips, anything school related that's needed to be done can be done tomorrow, you were tired, you wanted — no, needed sleep. You turned your body away from the half-awake Ugetsu and you couldn't even take the first step when you heard your name being called by just a whisper.
When you turned back to him, it was more quick than lightning upon feeling an arm wrapping firmly around your left wrist before you find yourself crashing against the chest of your best friend painfully. It took out the breath from your lungs and you could only question why he didn't feel the same and why did he just pull you in the bed with him. You tried to escape from his hug around you, squirming and hissing his name in annoyance.
" Ugetsu—"
" I love you. " You stared at his bleary eyes blink for some time before it finally fluttered shut. Clearly, you defeated by his words causing you to stop with your struggles after he fell in slumber. Feeling his warm body below you brought you to p sigh.
Whatever did you do to have a best friend like him?
And whatever he meant by that. Surely, his words only was brought out because he was drunk right? He's always been this clingy but this was the first time he told you those three words.
You were too tired to register the thought of how truthful one could ever be when they're drunk and drifted off into a dreamless sleep instead.
🌂
☕;; Dropping off a chapter when I still can, midterm exams are nearing so I'll probably be updating in a couple of weeks again. Hopefully, I can also update my other books. Also there's no supernal gossips for now. See you in the next update!