❝ I'M GOING SOMEWHERE! ❞
you exclaimed to megumi, but he didn't reply, so it almost seems like you're talking to nobody.
you sighed, and said your last goodbye, "ba-byee!" before going out and taking a long pleasure walk. right now, you're planning to visit your grave.
correction; your old body grave.
you were kinda sad that you weren't able to visit your own funeral. "ah, i wish i could have come!" you really wanted to see what picture did they framed for you. but one thing is for sure, "i just hope they used the one i'm wearing a bikini. i look very sexy there!"
and, now that you're thinking about your old body, you can't help but wonder;
"gosh, why am i not even sad about it?" you asked as you just realized that you never cried about losing your old body.
i mean, you did miss it, but not exactly the body. instead, the people you spend with, using that body.
"i miss shoko and suguru!" you exhale out loud to the air. of course not just those two, but you also missed satoru. although, you didn't want to admit it out loud.
"fuck that jerk!" you shouted.
you then took the train, and it took you a couple of hours before reaching the jujutsu barrier.
"what the...?" you were so surprised because, "they're still holding a funeral for me?" your heart softens, "aww, i didn't know they love me that much!"
you happily skipped towards the funeral, looking forward to see what picture frame did they displayed for you. but your heart stopped, when you saw that,
"haibara...?"
you swallowed deeply, as you took another step forward, "what the...?" yu haibara; your favorite junior.
he's very cheerful, always positive, and his sweet smile never seems to disappear. even right now. in the big picture, haibara was still smiling so brightly.
you rubbed your eyes, checking if you mistaken his real face as a gallery! i mean, what if you're wrong? what if that's not a big picture of him? what if, that's really him! smiling so brightly at the top of your funeral.
gosh.
that sounded so wrong.
but damn.
that kind of situation is even better than him being... you slowly closed your eyes, and took a deep breathe. before opening your eyes again, you made a wish, "i wish inside that casket, is me. not him."
but "...fuck." it wasn't you.
this wasn't your funeral.
you scanned the whole funeral, still processing, still denying, but as soon as you spotted— your least favorite junior —nanami kento, your heart shattered once again.
that guy always looks stoic. but right now, he's looking up, as he tries so hard not to let a fucking tear dropped on his face.
"ah." by just staring at him. you already knew. you knew that you lost someone, again. you looked down, bit your under lip, as you tried so hard not to cry. "fuck why?"
and then suddenly, you realized that. for you, you only lost haibara. but for them, they lost two.
they lost you too.
you stopped biting your lip, and silently cried.
later that day, you heard something and realized that they didn't only lose two people.
"suguru..." you looked at the ground, lifeless as you thought that this world is really fucked up, "i really don't understand that guy."
•••
❝ HE'S NOT WITH ME! ❞
utahime strongly denied. just now, yaga asked her if satoru was with her; on the phone. and of course her answer was, "why would i spend time with that idiot?!"
yaga sighed, before asking something else "well then, are you busy?"
"i'm not." since the topic was not gojo anymore, utahime calmed down as she sadly answered, "i'm still mourning you know."
they both went silent for a while. but yaga soon broke it and requested,"if you're free, then help me find satoru."
"what?!" utahime shouted, not liking the idea, "how would i know where he is?!"
"i heard you're sometimes included at their hang outs. don't you know any favorite spots satoru goes to?"
"duh no—" utahime was supposed to deny it. but then suddenly, she recalled a conversation you two had;
"you're not going home yet?" utahime was confused as you didn't join shoko to go back to the jujutsu chamber.
the three of you just finished eating and catching up and now it's time to go back home. except for you since,
"satoru wants me to go here," you exclaimed as you showed her a picture of a rooftop. it was clean, aesthetic and had a nice scenery.
"it's near your dorm actually, wanna come with me?"
she scoffed, "with that bastard? no way!"
you whined, "ihh. you should come with us! we're gonna watch the sunset, it's going to be fun!"
since you pleaded so much, utahime decided that she might take a look even though she literally didn't want to spend a second of her time with satoru gojo.
"hey bitch!" you called out to gojo; who is currently resting at the side of the rooftop, wearing sunglasses as he looks at the scenery. although when he heard your voice, he instantly turned around.
utahime watched how his bored expression immediately turned excited when he looked at you. "[y/n]!" an irked appeared on her forehead, when she thought that gojo was obviously ignoring her presence to make her annoyed.
"argh, i really hate that guy." she murmured as she watched him gushed over you.
"oh utahime. what are you doing here?" it was only after minutes that gojo acknowledged her presence.
that made utahime angry because, "you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?!"
"doing what?" gojo was dumbfounded. because he really didn't know and didn't notice utahime. after all, he was so captivated by your presence. like so so much! to the point, he didn't look nor care about anyone else but you.
"you're ignoring me on purpose!"
"oh, am i? sorry then!" gojo instantly apologized and that took utahime by surprise. after all, she thought that he would say something annoying, like "i didn't notice you because you were so small and weak, sorry."
but he didn't and was only focused on you.
utahime clearly remembered that day. because aside from the fact that the sunset was really stunning. that day, she also found out a new side of satoru gojo she had never seen before.
she never thought that he could ever act normal. act so... gentle. and for the first time in forever, he was not that annoying. his attitude became tolerable, and she quite enjoyed his company that day.
that's why the next time utahime saw gojo, she was calm and less angry. she thought that maybe, gojo had gone through a character development. but guess what? she thought wrong! since he suddenly went back to being annoying as hell. gosh, utahime really wanted to knock him off at that time.
until you came. he became less annoying. but when you're not around. he'll become annoying again.
"he only becomes less annoying when [y/n] is around..." her eyes widened as she realized that. and on that exact day, utahime made a deal to herself that she'll never spend time with gojo without you.
and now, for her; there's no more you anymore.
"i know one place. i'll check if he's there." utahime drops the call, before sighing and getting herself ready to go out.
it was only a few minutes walk for her to reach the rooftop you and gojo often goes to. and just like before, the scenery was so beautiful.
the air breeze made utahime relax and there she spotted gojo, wearing nothing to cover his eyes, as he blankly stared at the sky, while sitting at the side of the rooftop.
"you look annoyingly fine to me." she said as she sat beside him.
gojo only took a quick glance at her before staring at the sky again.
that made utahime annoyed, "don't ignore me! you made me waste my time by going here you fucker!"
"i didn't ask for you to come here though," he replied boredly.
"well yaga made me!" she shouted, before sighing, "the school needs you. so i suggest that instead of lurking around here, doing nothing. go back there and do something!" utahime knows she was spouting nonsense. she was just so annoyed at him that she couldn't help but scold him.
"also—" she was about to say something again, but then, "what is that?" she pointed at the red stain in his hands, "is that blood?!" she was about to touch him, to check if it's really a blood. but his infinity didn't let her.
"hey gojo?! why are you bleeding?!" utahime shouted.
gojo let out a tired sigh, "i'm trying to kill myself, but as you can see. i just can't die." he said as if it's a completely normal thing. he then added,
"so i guess dying is the only thing i can't do in life."
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"