Exotic II, finnick odair

~ Children of War

• Above is the black jacket worn for district 12
• Below is Jenesis's trendy pants that she wore for the Capital cameras—

Scene 3, Act 1 ; The Soul Killer

Guilt eats the soul alive. It's a reminder that your actions of the past effect the present, but will always effect you worse in the end.

Month of January ; 6 months after the games,

2 months later,

Jenesis basked in the January breeze of District 4. She could feel the air tickle her arms as it blew uncontrollably off the chilled water. She observed the way the waves approached her feet, never getting too close—before going back to shore. Jenesis inhaled a deep breath, taking in the wild scent of sea salt that blew all around her. She engulfed herself in a warm hug as she stared out into the horizon—where the sun was now only beginning to come up. Her eyes were heavy from a week worth of not sleeping, and the nightmares that had began to plague her mind more frequently.

January. It was the month that Jenesis had always dreaded.

Had you asked the green eyed girl why she disliked January a year ago, she would tell you that the reason was because most of the fish began to move more into their underwater crevices and caves. Officially making it hard to catch them. Therefore she lacked about half the game she normally had, and setting up nets and traps became the norm for most people in four. Jenesis would tell you about how she had to sit down for hours weaving a trap to catch fish, and practically abandon her spear because no fish with a brain is swimming so close to the shore anymore. She would tell you that she had to wait hours to finally catch a fish for dinner, and it was never a special kind of fish.

But if you asked the said girl now, Jenesis would describe to you in great detail the guilt that is eating her soul. She would tell you about the Victory Tour that happens in the month of January, and why she truly now despises the month. How she has to travel around Panem and look into the eyes of the families of the children she once knew. The families of the children she killed with her bare hands in cold blood. Jenesis would tell you all about the dread that is fuzzing her brain and churning in her stomach.

Keep up the appearances, President Snow had told her two months ago.

Jenesis could say that she had tried her best the last two months to do exactly what he had advised her. She made sure to eat, which provoked tears of frustration on most days when the food didn't want stay in her system. Jenesis believed that though she's still skinny, she's not sickly, and she is somewhat back to her old body before the games.

Somewhat—because if she breaths too hard, or stretches too wide, you could see the outline of her upper ribs and lungs.

With another deep inhale of the scent of salty water, Jenesis hiked up her grey sweatpants as another wave began to move towards her. She stretched her arms out to her sides and threw her head back. Basking in the golden sun that was faintly beginning to peak over the District. Golden rays danced on Jenesis's face and neck. Not hot enough to make sweat begin to accumulate in her pores or against her hairline. So Jenesis was thankful for the morning breeze that saved her from having to hear ten mouthfuls from her prep team.

No wonder Finnick wakes up so early, Jenesis thought as she tracked down the suns rays with closed eyes. Desperate to feel some of the heat on her face. If I had it in me I would too.

Jenesis couldn't help but admire her home as she relished in the suns heat. The sound of waves clashing together flooded her ears in the most pleasant way. Making a therapeutic melody that tickled the parts of her brain that had been tempered with in the arena. District Four, which was once called California, was an absolute beauty.

" I believe my sister might just get married under a sunset." Cinthia had told her at the baby shower.

With those words Jenesis was certain that District Four was a beautiful place. A beautiful place filled with beautiful traditions and people. The baby shower was held on the beach shore on the other side of the district. Where kids didn't go due to the long walk it took to get there, and the lack of houses in that area. There was a good amount of Peacekeepers for such a lonesome part of the district, and Jenesis felt that it was due to her. Whether it was selfish to think so, she believed that her presence being at the reveal required more peacekeepers.

It was the first baby shower Jenesis's has ever attended, and she firmly believed it would be her last. Upon getting ready for the event, she was greatly confused on what citizens of district four wore for such wholesome events like celebrating the coming of a child. It didn't help that Jenesis's style consisted of sweats, bikini tops, shorts, and tee shirts on a daily. A part of Jenesis thought to wear white, but as quickly as the thought came it disappeared.

White clothes were worn during weddings by the bride—why?—she wasn't sure. But it felt wrong to show up to the event in a color Cinthia's engaged sister will soon be wearing.

So Jenesis had settled on a pretty blue dress that was thick, and faintly textured with lines. The dress sporting thin straps that wrapped nicely around Jenesis's shoulder. Roman had understood her when she asked for a basic wardrobe that didn't scream that she was from the capital. It was basic, and as classy district could get—only reaching her mid thigh. With her outfit chosen and her hair slicked to a low ponytail, Jenesis's plus one for the baby shower was none other than Jasmine.

The morning of the baby shower was hectic and crazy, and Jenesis strongly believed it was because she didn't have Cinthia to help her navigate her sister. Jasmine was insistent on wearing a puffy ball dress to the shower that Jenesis had recently bought her, and Jenesis was certain that a puffy dress would be uncalled for at the event. The two sisters had fought about it so intensely, that it took Jenesis to arrive at Mags house for breakfast that morning to realize that she had no gift to shower the baby with.

Panic had made way onto Jenesis's face half way into an entertaining conversation with Finnick. Which unfortunately made her leave him a questioning, and worried mess as he called her name.

Due to Jenesis forgetting a gift, Mags had offered to give her one of the pies that she had made last night as a gift. Jenesis was clueless, but one thing she knew was that brining a pie to the baby shower was not enough—especially with her new status as victor. Everyone knows that the young girl is rich. After all, victors receive a hefty monthly check of hundreds of thousands of dollars for the rest of their lives. Jenesis barely blinked when she pulled out 15 thousand dollars to accompany her to the baby shower as a gift.

Did Cinthia's sister need 15 thousand dollars as a gift? Absolutely not. 15 thousands wasn't even 6 months worth of bills in the average district four home. 15 thousand dollars was a crazy amount of money for any citizen in the districts, and Jenesis was reminded of that when Cinthia practically screeched in shock at the sight of the bills in the envelope.

The baby shower was traditional to District Four. There was nothing out of the ordinary about the scenery. Not when there was the afternoon beach as their sight, the sound of waves clashing together, and the fresh sand being so easily moved by the moist breeze that blew occasionally.

There was long blankets spread across the sand with thick pillows sitting right on top to act as chairs. A low table accompanied the pillows and blanket around the beach, and Jenesis could make out the cutlery prepared at every seat.

Jenesis tightened her hold on Jasmine's hand as they passed a group of kids playing with a beach ball. The first step to all of this was to ignore the looks she was receiving as she walked down the beach. Then it was to give Cinthia's sister her gifts, and the practiced congrats Jenesis has chanted in her head at least a hundred times prior to their arrival. She would give the nicest smile she could muster as she held up the big pie in her hands—trying to appear happy and normal.

After that was done, Jenesis would let Jasmine go hang around the small number of kids that were at the event. Her personal plans revolved around trying to avoid being in Cinthia's presence too much. Which would result in Jenesis hanging around the tables and attempting to hang around all these people who appeared to be in their mid twenties.

The baby shower had went somewhat as planned. Jenesis spent most of the time by herself. Shooing Cinthia back to her pregnant sisters company who was clearly struggling to strap her sandals. Apart from that, Jenesis found herself enjoying the celebration of a new innocent life coming to the world. There was something about the soft colors, and the light blues and pinks that seemed to be dancing in everyone's mind. Baby's were innocent beings that were oblivious to the world they were being birthed into. They were born with no stress, no thoughts of being reaped, poor, or murdered. All they knew was that they were loved deeply by everyone who held them, and knew of their existence.

They were so innocent, and maybe that's why Jenesis had allowed herself to be drawn into the blind bliss for a couple hours.

She allowed herself to smile and laugh as she was encouraged to eat baby food and guess the flavor. She allowed herself to breathe the ocean breeze as she volunteered to help dispose of the seashells after a game of Guess the Baby Word.
Jenesis allowed herself to feel genuinely happy as she guessed that the gender of the unborn baby will be a boy.

It's been a while since she had totally let loose and allowed her mind to to wander into a place where she was just a citizen. For some time she allowed herself to push away the negative thoughts she had about birthing kids into Panem, and instead smiled about the new life that wasn't here yet but was so loved.

Jenesis, at some point, allowed herself to stupidly think that one day, that could be her. A man by her side as she stood on the sand of Four, surrounded by loved ones as she celebrated a piece of her and her lover. Celebrating a new beginning and new era of life. Was that how her mother had felt at some point during her young years? Had she always knew that she wanted to be a mom? Jenesis blinked—taking herself out of the dreamy and unrealistic world she had entered in. Upon opening her eyes, reality presented itself to her in all its glory. Death, ultimate death. What was once sweet to her had became so bitter within a blink of an eye.

Jenesis placed her gaze on the swell of the unborn child once more, and that was all it took to invite her mind to self destruct.

Sweet to bitter. So bitter. Because the longer Jenesis's stared at the swell of Cinthia's sisters stomach, the more she felt herself fall apart.

I could be the mentor to that baby in 12 years, she had thought to herself as she watched the Fiancé of Cinthia's sister wrap an arm around the pregnant woman's stomach. Jenesis's face slowly morphed to one of horror.

In twelve years she would not be pregnant. She would not love a man so much to the extent that she was seeing in the shower. She would never experience true love to even have the opportunity to think about building a family.

Her life was not hers, and it was something she had became accustomed to remembering.

It didn't take long for Jenesis to leave the baby shower. The soft white, blues, and pinks had suddenly become dull grey and blacks. Everything that was once radiated light now had a new darkness in Jenesis's eyes. The net she weaved to measure the curve of a pregnant stomach was now something Jenesis saw was long enough to trap a tribute. The Guess the Baby Word suddenly morphed into the curious feeling she would get as she waited for a name to get drawn out of the reaping bowl.

Everything had lost light.

Jenesis's departure was silent. She told Jasmine and Cinthia that she had to discuss something important with Snow back at her house. Once again, Jasmine was under the watchful eye of Cinthia because Jenesis wasn't capable of taking care of her sister. Even if it was for a one day event. With her heart beating in her ears, Jenesis slowly walked back home with her eyes heavy and her breathing erratic.

The salty air of the district breezed through Jenesis's ponytail—feeding her curls life as she clutched the sand in her hands.

Jenesis allowed her eyes to close as she breathed in the ocean breeze once more. Her lungs filled with the moist air, and her baggy pants separating from her legs as they stuck to the sand.

How long have I been out here? Jenesis thought with no real interest to find out.

" Well you're up early."

The urge to smile twitched in Jenesis's lips as they faintly tugged upwards.

Jenesis could feel Finnick take a seat beside her on the sand. She could feel the brush of his clothed arm against her, and with a huff, Jenesis opened her eyes to gaze at the boys attire.

" Finnick it is not that cold." She said with a pointed look.

Finnick had draped himself in a cream colored knitted long sleeve sweater paired with green cargo pants. District four was not cold enough to cover yourself in a sweater and long pants. Jenesis's clothes consisted of grey sweats, and a white sleeveless top that was shorter than her navel but longer than a bra. The breeze of the air home to the coldest month of District Four was actually pleasant. Yes it would get chiller at night time where a sweater might be needed, but the morning breeze was nothing to conceal yourself from.

" What so now you're picking on my fashion choices?" Finnick asked with an amused raised brow. " This is what I'm wearing. My prep team isn't coming to dress me."

" I thought they would always come if there's capital cameras around?"

Finnick shook his head, " Fortunately no. That only applies if the winner is coming to district four. That's when the victors will greet them, stand nearby during the speech, and then eat dinner with them on camera."

" Eat dinner?" Jenesis questioned, puzzled.

" Yeah. You eat dinner with the mayor and few other selected victors of the district. That's all I'll be doing with you at every stop. I'll be backstage during your speech."

Jenesis felt her throat close at the thought of giving her speech by evening time of tomorrow. She would be walking through district twelve, the home of Kia— the twelve year old girl that was killed six months ago on national television for the whole world to see. And what exactly would she be saying? She would tell her family and the citizens that once knew her that she fought for the capital with bravery, and made it far. She didn't even want to think about what Sasha had prepared on the cue cards for each district.

When she heard it was her writing them, Jenesis accepted that nothing good would come out of her mouth on stage.

" Hey," Finnick gently called out to her. Placing his warm hand on her shoulder. " Jenesis I'm gonna be with you every step of the way."

" How?" She asked with panicked eyes. " You're back stage Finnick. I can't even see you. It's not like when I was doing the interview!"

" We don't have to be in each others line of sight to know that we're with one another." Finnick said as he brought Jenesis into a side hug. " It's like when I wake up. Maybe I didn't have the best dream, and didn't get an ounce of sleep, but I know that somewhere in this world—you're there. You're alive in district four, and so is Mags. And that's all I need to keep myself going."

Jenesis craned her neck to stare at Finnick upon hearing his words. " I'm what you think of when you wake up from a nightmare?"

Green met green as Finnick nodded. " Yeah...I care about you. So it helps. It's harder than it sounds. To push the nightmare away in my head and remember the good things I have. It takes time, and a lot of strength. I can teach you, but I just want you to keep thinking about what you care about when you're on the stage. It's gonna feel like they're eating you alive. The capital and citizens. Just remember that people care about you. Really care. Me, Mags, Jasmine, Cinthia—and that could keep you going."

Jenesis pressed her head into the warmth of Finnick's sweater. The soft cotton was as warm as it looked. The knits were tight and careful, and no holes were in it either due to the skill—or the lack of times Finnick has worn it.

Inhaling a deep breath of the cotton, Jenesis sighed. " I could feel the love of Mags in this. Or am I imagining things?"

" It's real," Finnick said with a smile in his words. " Mags made this for me when I was 17. Purposefully made it big too, because she said I keep growing."

Jenesis hummed in agreement to Finnick's recollection of Mags factual words. Knowing that it was the precision of Mags she was feeling, she allowed herself to come closer to the sweater. Slowly, Jenesis lifted her knees to be over Finnick's outstretched legs—and wiggled herself lower until her back was resting in his lap. Her knees upright in front of her as she rested her head on his thigh.

Quickly, Jenesis craned her neck to look up at Finnick. The last thing she wanted to do was make him uncomfortable, and relief flowed through her when she saw a look of surprise—but no regret present on his face. Upon catching her gaze, his face relaxed at their new position, and he gave Jenesis a smile of confirmation.

Jenesis relaxed her neck and made herself comfortable. " Distract me."

One of Finnick's many talents that helped him survive the capital was his ability to keep talking. So Jenesis was not surprised when he immediately began to indulge in a conversation totally different to the deepness of their last one.

" Me and Mags speak in sign language most days." Finnick started with a light tone.
" Remember those gestures we were doing? Yeah. It's a language that was used to communicate to deaf people, and Mags learned it at some point in her life."

" Why?" Jenesis asked with deep curiosity. Their previous conversation long off her mind.

Finnick hesitated. Although she couldn't see his face, Jenesis knew that he pondering on whether or not he wanted to keep the conversation going.

In the end, he decided not to. " I believe she'll tell you one day when she's ready. Just like how she told me."

Jenesis was quiet for a moment before she lightly scoffed—shaking her head. " I don't know if me and Mags are that close."

She didn't need to see the look Finnick was giving her, it was all in his tone as he spoke his next words. " You can't be serious. Mags cares about you a lot Jenesis. She understands that you're in a difficult time, and she's seen it happen to all the victors in four that she's brought back—she just wants to give you that space."

" You and Mags are very different then," Jenesis noted—craning her head to look up at Finnick. " You don't even think about giving me space. You just give me that ability to make decisions. But I asked for it..."

" And I promised to." Finnick quickly added.
" And Mags always will now that she sees how you are. She would remain the same old Mags whether you decided to be by yourself or not. Mags still treats all the Victors in Four the same, but all of them made the decision to not stick around. It also doesn't help that they can't speak with her. All they do is accept her sweets that I deliver to them at the door, mutter a thank you, and gone they are."

" Communicating with Mags basically requires learning another language?" Jenesis questioned more matter of factly.

Finnick nodded his head. " Yeah. It wasn't easy. Took me a good year to actually get it, and some more months to become fast and quick."

Jenesis faced the sky as she thought back to the fast motions they were making, and the facial expressions that came with it. " Mags is worth it. She's worth the time."

And with that it was settled. Jenesis was going to learn sign language to communicate with Mags.

Upon hearing Jenesis's words, Finnick scoffed. " I'm glad you can see that, because not a lot of people can."

Hearing the bitterness in his voice, Jenesis looked up once more to see whether or not this conversation had become serious or playful.

The grin on Finnick's face confirmed it was the latter.

" What now?" Jenesis asked.

" Nothing." He dismissed. " I just find it interesting how you say that, than have the audacity to say Mags and you aren't that close. She might even like you more than she likes me!"

" Oh," Jenesis cooed teasingly. " Did I steal your fame and Mags. Tragic."

Finnick smiled. " Right. It all happened so suddenly, I was caught off guard. One day I woke up, came all the way down to see Mags in her house—hungry and all!—yet she tells me that she's making you breakfast first, and your favorite. All while Ms Jenesis is still sleeping."

Jenesis let out a loud and uncontrolled laugh as she listened to Finnick pretend to be jealous over a memory she very much remembers. He was making her sound as if she manipulated Mags and put a spell on her, as if she was some type of witch. Controlling the woman to make her hot waffles and fried catfish for breakfast, and feed her the first hot plate of food that was made.

" You're making it sound like I crept up on you and stole something!" Jenesis said in between laughs.

" You did."

Jenesis raised a brow at his more serious face.
" Oh yeah? What else did I steal?"

Green met green as the two stared at one another. Jenesis's smile and laughter relaxing as each second without a response passed by. Finnick's eyes were gentle and filled with peace, so she knew it was not anger or a mental disturbance that caused his silence.

" Finnick?" She called out to him.

A smile graced his face once more.
" You stole something. But it's okay because I let you."

Jenesis blinked. His words weren't registering in her mind, and confusion had hit her like a hundred bricks. What had Jenesis really stole from Finnick? She was more than aware that Mags probably liked Finnick more than her, and how could she not? Finnick was very likable, and so selfless—especially when it came to people that he cared about. Jenesis has noticed that the last 6 months, ever since she became a tribute. Despite how present Jenesis has been the last two months, Finnick does so much for Mags that Jenesis just couldn't do.

Wake Mags up in the morning? She didn't even having the motivation to do that for herself.

Then there was the capital fame

Finnick Odair was the capital darling. Probably one of the most popular victors in all of Panem. He was like a legend to tell your children at night. An unbelievable bedtime story that was completely true. He was the 14 year old boy that went into the games and won with what everyone saw was ease. The capital loved him. They loved his face, his body, his charm, and his personality. Though that love wasn't reciprocated, and Jenesis is 100% sure that Finnick would care less if she came and took his popularity. Swiping in and stealing the heart of both male and female capital citizens like she had done. It would generally mean that the attention was off him, and that was something he probably hoped for.

So if she did truly not steal Mags, and the crazed capital citizens were the least of their concern—what did Jenesis steal?

And how did he let her take it?

" I know you would love to sit out here a bit longer, but we all better get the day started." Finnick said with a nudge of his leg.

Jenesis blinked, and she realized by the grin on his face that she had been staring at him the entire time she was lost in thought. 

" Right." She eventually said as she rose to get up. " Gosh, how long have I been out here?"

Finnick glanced out at the horizon. " For you, maybe I would say about 2 hours and a half?"

" Reasonable. It wasn't this bright when I arrived, that's for sure."

Dusting off her pants, Jenesis moved to walk as close to Finnick as possible as they headed back to the Victors Village. Despite everything, at least she knew she had Finnick with her. She had people that she cared about, and that cared about her even more.

That was enough for Jenesis to find the strength to walk forward.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" I saw your note Jenesis!"

Jasmine said as Jenesis dusted her feet off at the door of Mags house. The aroma of  Mags house was as pleasant as always. It felt like she hadn't even left the beach with the sea salt smell that danced in the air. The humidifiers in that corners near a couch, or on a ledge did their jobs beautifully. So well that the scent of fried catfish and home fries didn't hit Jenesis and Finnick until they neared the kitchen.

" Morning Mags," Jenesis said with a gentle smile as she approached the woman. Her arms wrapped tightly around Mags, and the older woman couldn't even fully turn before she was being welcomed into the embrace. Mags laughed into the hug, unable to fully return it with the eggs in her hand. But when Jenesis pulled away, she placed a gentle kiss on the girls cheek.

" Smells delicious." One of the pots on the fire were filled with frying seasoned potatoes sitting in hot oil, bell peppers, onions, and one of the many eggs Mags was planning to crack.

" Haven't had home fries in forever." Jenesis dragged out in awe with her mouth already salivating. 

Mags smiled wide at her words and tapped the rim of another pan that held the frying catfish. About two had been fried and were sitting on the napkin lined plate, while two were currently basking in the oil.

" It looks wonderful." Jenesis said as she walked over to the sink to aid in cleanup.
" So Jassy you really did see that note I left on the fridge."

" Yup!" Jasmine nodded from the island.
" Right when I was about to open the fridge I saw it. I thought you might've left already without saying goodbye to me, and—didn't make me anything to eat."

" Okay Miss Sassy," Finnick mused. " Didn't make me anything to eat."

Jasmine blushed from the direct call out of how dramatically Finnick had mimicked her. A pout formed on her lips and she crossed her arms.

" Well she usually does!" She defended.
" And Jen said we will all have breakfast together at Mags's before she goes!"

Finnick peaked at Jenesis as she scrubbed the dishes thoroughly at the sink. " Oh. Is Jasmine not coming?"

" She is." Jenesis said in a heartbeat. " I don't know if she's allowed to, but she is. I just decided that."

Mags gave Jenesis a pat on the back. Probably comforting the younger girl because she was finally coming out of the state where she was so worried about what President Snow would approve. Ever since the last conversation she had with Snow, his words had been ringing in Jenesis's mind every time she tried to make a decision for herself. This one she was making, and she would stick firmly beside it. Her sister was coming with her on the Tour. Unless Snow was willingly to babysit her, Jenesis didn't want to hear a word.

" I know you guys suggested Alexis Reed could watch Jasmine, but I don't know her." Jenesis said as she watched the soap rinse off the cutting board.

The victor of the 48th Hunger Games, crowned at age 17–was unpredictable. Not just because of her behavior in the games which was a surprise itself, but genuinely because Jenesis couldn't tell if the woman was trying to stay sober or not. She was rather pale, which already said enough about her lack of going outside, and her most noticeable trait was her jawline and cheekbones.

Jenesis would admit that it was almost intimidating the way the woman stared her down when she came to say hello to her 4 months ago.

Her gaze was strong and impassive, and the way she looked at her as if she knew everything with her sharp eyes made her get slight goosebumps. Jenesis decided to return the neutral vibe back to her, wiping her smile off her face to Finnick's demise. What made it worst was how she didn't flinch by it. As if Jenesis smiling or not was the least of her concern, and not needed in order to keep looking at her like she knew everything.

" I can't tell if she's actually sober or not." She explained as she shook her head.

" And she intimidates you," Finnick snickered as he moved to the dishwasher to grab the steaming cutlery.

" Partially." Jenesis admitted upon seeing Mags smile of amusement. " But it's mostly because I can't read her. I was trying to be nice when I met her."

" Jenesis," Finnick laughed as he stared at her amused. " You waved and said good morning like a robot with a smile. She probably thought I was holding you hostage."

The blonde girl shrugged her shoulders when Jasmine snorted. " Maybe I came off as too harsh, but the other victors just brushed me off. She just stared, as if she was trying to make something out of my greeting and read into it. If I'm intimidated by anything, it's her cheekbones. I mean why are they so sharp?"

Finnick let out a laugh as Mags shook her head. It wasn't everyday that Jenesis Hammaz admitted that she was intimidated. Especially by someone she just met.

It was a situation that Finnick wanted to squeeze for as long as possible. " That's what she's known for. Her face is very memorable."

Jenesis's dreams were reserved for recalling others events. Alexis Reed unfortunately hadn't hit her trauma bar to appear in them.

" Right." She responded with sarcasm dripping off her.

Mags began to make signs to Finnick from the stove after she took out the last of the two fish's from the oil. It went silent for a moment as Jenesis dried her hands with the napkin, only observing.  The hand gestures were so quick, but Finnick seemed to be easily soaking up Mags movements with ease.

It even seemed like they had a mood in the gestures, and Jenesis could tell what they were saying was rather light.

But she didn't like being confused.

" What are you guys saying?" She asked with a raised brow. " I wanna learn that language thing. I mean you guys know I don't like being in the dark, and it's a hassle for Mags."

Mags shook her head at Jenesis's words, turning off the gas for the home fries.

" You've stopped talking the last two months Mags." Jenesis pointed out with a arched brow at Mags. " I can tell it's hard for you to talk. It takes more energy than necessary.."

" It's not like she can't talk," Finnick pitched in. Clearly trying to make Jenesis feel better.
" It's like I told you, Mags uses sign language here in four, and then tries to save her voice for mentoring the tributes when the games role back around."

Mags shot Finnick a look, as if she was asking him a silent question. When Finnick shook his head as an answer, her face seemed pleased. By the looks of it, Jenesis assumed that she was asking Finnick about whether or not he had told Jenesis's her story about how she started using sign language. She had shared that story with Finnick while her voice was probably still stable, and Jenesis would probably never get to know it if she didn't learn these odd gestures immediately.

Jenesis rolled her shoulders back. " Yeah that's it. I'm going to start learning it when the tour wraps up."

" Well I wanna learn too!" Jasmine pitched in with innocent eyes. " I want to talk with Mags!"

Jenesis shot Finnick a side grin, choosing to not answer her sister definitely. When she turned to see Mags and her reaction, Jenesis was shocked to see the heartfelt look on her face.

" Mags," she called out softly as she placed the pot in the center of the table.

Mags gently grasped Jenesis's cheek in her hand, and swiped her thumb under her eye lovingly. Her expression was soft, and the green eyed girl could see the longing and gratefulness in her gaze.

" After the tour," Jenesis started attentively.
" both me and Jasmine will dedicate our time learning as much of this sign language as possible every day."

" — And hopefully I'll get it in less than a year."

Her words caused a chain of reactions around the island. A scoff and frown from Finnick, a wide smile from Mags, and a neutrally excited look from Jasmine.

Jenesis smiled as she looked over to peek at Finnick. But his eyes were focused in on something else, and as Jenesis lined her gaze with his, she could see he was eying the time on  the oven.

" We should eat now," he started with a more serious tone to his voice. " Your prep team is going to be here in a little more than half an hour."

Jenesis slightly felt her mood drop at his words, and for a moment she felt a surge of annoyance flow through her at his reminder. But as quick as it came, it was gone. Finnick was only looking out for her, because he was more than aware that Jenesis might just yell if they arrived while they were eating breakfast.

She had asked Finnick to stay with her, and he had promised to. He was fulfilling the promise immensely in ways that seemed overbearing but showed he was truly always with her.

Finnick was reminding her that there was no tuning out the Victory Tour. It was going to happen, and it was inevitable. So with a deep inhale only she could hear, Jenesis nodded her head in acknowledgment.

Settling to enjoy the last bit of peace she would have around her for a while.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" I knew it! The beauty of Jenesis Hammaz is still alive and well!" Giovanni screeched the moment he laid his eyes on Jenesis. Jenesis internally cringed at the volume of his voice. She had left the loving and peaceful comfort of Mags home—surrounded by people who truly saw her, to come to her house where her prep team was to meet her. The breakfast had ended faster than Jenesis would have liked. Despite them eating for 25 minutes. Eventually Finnick reminded her that she had to be at her own house when her prep team arrived for her.

So Jenesis opened the door for them with the fakest and most rehearsed smile on her face. Giovanni's voice was the first thing she heard, and then it was the feeling of two people bringing her into bone crushing hugs.

Jenesis's nose burned at the clash of the strong perfume and cologne of Star and Giovanni, and she eventually pulled away after ten seconds of hugging. Quickly, she acknowledged Dolla— who smiled at her with her sharp cheekbones stretching as she embraced Jenesis. Pleased to see the young girl, but clearly not as excited as her two assistants.

" Its wonderful to see you darling." Dolla said as she pulled back from the hug.

Dolla absorbed Jenesis's appearance with scrutinizing eyes. " I will say, you have lost some weight..."

" But it's all in the stomach!" Star interrupted with a ridiculous amount of admiration in her words. " Everyone in the capital wants to know your secret Jenesis! If she was a zero than she's soaring in the negatives now!"

Loose your will to live and see if food is still your top priority. She wanted to say as her fingers twitched.

Jenesis mentally frowned at the woman before her, covered head to toe in sunset colours. Her dress a mix of sunset orange and yellow, and a headpiece on her head that was a warm pink.

Jenesis was sure that her smile was perfect on the outside. After all she had practised for the capital persona for a good amount of time. But she had not prepared herself for a the blatant ignorance that danced in almost every citizen.

She had struggled hard physically and mentally to pick herself up from the state she had been in not even three months ago. Yet within seconds, her struggle had been sexualized and dismissed.

Keep up the appearances, Snows voice said in her head.

Jenesis's gut twisted tighter, and her smile became wider as she spoke her next words.
" Thanks. I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be a hassle for you guys when you arrived."

" Ugh, sister!" Gio cried as he shook his head. The gold earring in his ears shaking with his movements. " This is why you are the Diamond honey! Most victors take the 6 month absence as a time to sleep in their own waste, and then we have all that work to do!"

Jenesis internally cringed. " Sounds horrifying. We're not in the capital—you're a bit limited. They should take that into consideration."

Star and Gio nodded their heads like mindless chickens upon hearing Jenesis's words.

" But I'm not complaining!" Star said breathlessly. She peeked over Jenesis's shoulder into her house, and Jenesis was quick to move out the way—muttering an apology about her lack of manners as the three entered. "  I mean look at this house! Who was going to tell me the Victors houses are this beautiful! "

Jenesis stood to the side as they gaped at the dramatically tall ceiling in her foyer, and the perfectly planted furniture.

" A home made for a true diamond." Dolla muttered.

By killing children, Jenesis thought bitterly. I have this home from killing children.

" Yes it's beautiful," she settled on. " Everyday I'm glad it was decorated for me."

" Well!" Dolla said as she clasped her thin hands together. "We don't have time to waste. We need you camera ready for the capital in 2 hours! Giovanni, get the supplies ready for waxing and skin cleansing! Star, prepare the facials and hair! Chop chop! We must make this quick and thorough! To the masters bathroom you go!"

Giovanni and Star both screeched in excitement at their orders. Clearly excited to be working on Jenesis within the giant home that reminded them much of the capital.

" Where are you off too?" Jenesis asked Dolla before she could walk away.

Dolla turned to look at Jenesis, watching as her assistants scurried up the grand stairs like children on their way to a candy shop.

" I'm going to go check on your favourite person." She eventually answered with a faint smile. " Roman. That man is full of surprises."

The mention of the dark skinned man brought the faintest of a smile onto Jenesis's face. Favourite person was a stretch, but he was someone she considered special to her. He captured her soul in his work, and he tried his best to truly see Jenesis. This was the same man that had made her victory dress prior to her even winning.

With that she nodded her head and smiled at Dolla—allowing the woman to go off her own way.

Jenesis jogged up the stairs—skipping one with each step—and she could already see the sight of the giant master bedroom at the top. Each of her footsteps were silent, and it took her no time to reach the top. The voices of Giovanni and Star screeching in delight at the room and bathroom made Jenesis want to retreat back down the stairs. But she placed her feet firmly on the floor and proceeded into what did not feel like her bedroom at the moment.

Upon entering, she could see that Giovanni and Star were quick to get things settled. They had the makeover bed for Jenesis to lay on ready, and all the required bottles of various treatment chemicals out. Had she arrived a minute later that she had—they would've been screeching her name from upstairs.

" We're all ready girl!" Giovanni smiled brightly as he tapped the leather bed.

Jenesis gave a lopsided smile, not having to be told that she had to remove her clothes before getting in the bed. She was quick to do that, trying not to think about their wandering eyes as they exchanged their thoughts on what they had to work on first with each other. All she knew was that she needed mild waxing, skin brightening, hair washing and trimming, hair tinting, and highlighting for her skin. The sun kissed look she had was fawned over but they wanted to enhance it to make it seem as if she was born sun kissed, and it wasn't something she had to achieve by sitting in the sun.

That's what Jenesis managed to pick up on as she laid on the leather bed.

" You look different, but definitely in a good way!" Star chirped as she rubbed an after wax onto Jenesis's legs and arms. " You're hair has gotten more brown, so we'll dye it with honey blonde highlights some more! Blonde Jenesis rather than brunette gives the more high maintenance look that you're popular for!"

There it was. Words like high maintenance, and diamond that constantly reminded her of President Snows word to keep up with her appearances.

" Yes! Your waist gotten smaller rather than bigger, and your thighs are quite the same I would say!" Giovanni added in, and for a second, Jenesis thought she would have to respond. " Oh and dreary, Dolla said we should make sure her legs are smooth and one skin tone!"

Never mind. Jenesis thought to herself in silent relief. No I don't.

Working on Jenesis's skin hadn't taken too long. It felt quick to her, and she could only assume that it was. Her face was next and it involved applying multiple masks that had different textures and colours to them. She could've even swore that one had the sour smell of kiwi, or one of the green fruits that she tried in the capital. Some were rocky and resembled sand on her face, and other masks were soft and smooth like water—lacking thickness.

Despite the weird feeling it left on her face. Jenesis didn't complain about any of them. They touched up her eyebrows, which included plucking and tinting, and also worked on her eyelashes, which included separating and weirdly lifting them. The final step was to plump her lips while they held a machine to either sides of her face and allowed steam to blow at her skin for a good amount of time. Leaving Jenesis's skin to feel slimy, and her lips feeling raw and delicate.

" There! Skin and face is done!" Gio clapped in delight as they stared at her in awe. " This is exactly what President Snow wanted. A soft glam that's oily and bright!"

Jenesis paused, and Gio continued.

" I won't lie, at first —I doubted him, which is so rare for me! I mean soft glam is the exact opposite of the capital! But seeing this, oh how right he was!" He continued with a new admiration in his voice for the president that made Jenesis sick.

" I totally agree! I won't be surprised if this becomes the new trend! I know I'll participate in it!" Star giggled as she spoke.

Jenesis only smiled at them. " Thank you."

They squealed in delight and pride of themselves before the ringing of the alarm for her hair went off. Immediately, they removed the tin foil in her hair and began to wash it with various shampoos and conditioners. Due to the guard wrapped around her forehead, the water didn't pass a certain extent, and Jenesis was given the opportunity to close her eyes and think about the tour. The victory tour included visiting all the Districts starting with twelve, and skipping four to save for the end.

Jenesis began to make a list in her head of which ones would be the hardest for her. District 7 on top, home to Imani and Treyvon—the friends she had made in the games, district 5– their boy got poisoned from drinking the water, district 6—because of their boy that she stabbed but didn't kill when he turned mutt, district 1–Slaters traumatizing death, District 2–Natasha when she used the trap to kill her along with her partner, District 8–Jenesis killed their girl, and District 5–Jenesis killed their girl too.

I'm screwed. She thought as she wrapped the robe around herself. Taking a seat on the end of her bed.

She had ironically seen the deaths of most of the tributes, and if not seen—contributed to the rest of their deaths. Jenesis had more personal speeches to give to the families and citizens since she was involved in many of their perishing.

It's not my fault, she reminded herself in Finnick's voice. All blood spilt is on the capital.

But it was harder to convince herself that every time she thought of it.

" Jenesis," A deep voice called for her from the doorway.

Jenesis lifted her head almost immediately. The voice being easily recognizable for her.

" Roman," she mumbled in shock. Fully turning to stare at him.

" It's good to see you Jenesis." He greeted with that same class. " Looks like we still have more obstacles huh?"

Jenesis gave him what could be called a smile as she curtly nodded. " Yeah we do."

" — And I hope you've been styling. That one outfit you got there isn't gonna cut it. We have a lot of looks ahead of us."

Roman smiled at her, his dimples showing as he let out a laugh. " You don't even know. I have at least 30 looks loaded on the train, sitting with a whole cart to itself."

Jenesis raised a brow. Trying to imagine clothes on hangers in the fancy train because she knows Roman refuses to fold clothes in a box. Or maybe they were laid out in a wide and long box. Either way, those were the clothes she was going to be wearing for this tour. Jenesis hoped that once again, Roman would understand her enough to know that she didn't want glitz and glam on that stage. She hoped  he knew the way to bring out the glitz without truly bringing out glitz for Jenesis.

" You look great Jenesis," he complimented as he hung the outfit up on a rack. " Dolla said that you've made subtle changes, though nothing drastic for us to backtrack over. Personally, I think you look the same."

" Don't lie now," Jenesis said with a side eye.
"  I consider what they did drastic. I mean my hair isn't even the same colour..."

" We'll work around it." Roman quickly said seeing her slumped shoulders. " I didn't bring the glitz for the tour. We're trekking the natural glow for this."

Jenesis tilted her head, the words in her head not hesitating to come out because it was Roman. Jenesis had held her tongue for far too long around Giovanni and Star. The amount of times she had replied in her head during their makeover on her overwhelmed her, and her tongue had finally caught fire.

" Because President Snow said to."

" He did." Roman added with a smirk. " But the glitz is already here."

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cameras were right outside the door. Jenesis was internally shaking, and it wasn't helping Sasha who was trying to add the glittery lipgloss to her lips to finish the lip combination. Finnick, Mags, and Jasmine were standing near by, not close enough to be on camera—but enough to where they would be right behind them. Jenesis inhaled a deep breath as she tried to clear her mind of the thoughts that had been plaguing it the last two hours. Thoughts of president snow, and their last meeting with one another, and Vincent's voice that seemed to be the leader to her self destruction.

President Snow had told Jenesis that he was expecting her to not disappoint him on the tour, and Jenesis had confidently said yes. Yet, as she stands with nothing but a door blocking the commencing of the tour, she was beginning to see that she'll most likely disappoint the president.

And she couldn't afford to do so with the threat of Cinthia and her family hanging over her head.

" Doors are opening soon!" Roman said to everyone but especially to Sasha.

Sasha scurried back quickly on her insanely high heels. Ducking her head around as she took in the appearance of Jenesis's lips, and swiping the edges with her fingers to clean them up just as Roman gently moved her forward. With a lopsided smile she gave a nervous Jenesis a thumbs up as the others gathered in a line.

Jenesis hadn't even registered that the doors were opening, and she was in the centre of the beaming light.

" There she is!" Caesar's voice boomed as Jenesis was revealed.

Slowly, Jenesis let a half smirk half smile make way to her face as her eyes landed on the main camera that projected the capital.

" Hello!" She drawled out as she took a few steps down the stairs. " Hey Caesar!"

Jenesis could hear Caesars laughter amongst the loud crowd before him as he said a muffled hello. He gave his mic a very subtle and barely visible tap—clearly trying to deliver the message to the technical people to up his microphone. It was meant to look like an adjustment with his grip on the mic, but Jenesis could see everything through her bright smile.

" Look at how beautiful you look!" Caesar called out to her astonished. " Our Diamond's face card truly never declines doesn't it folks!"

Jenesis cringed at the words of Caesar. Leave it up to capital people to find unique ways to do something so simple. What's so hard in saying, our diamond is just so beautiful?

" I don't think my team will ever allow it too," Jenesis humbly responded.

" Humble as ever isn't she?" Shouts of agreement came from the projectors upon hearing Caesars question. " But she is not wrong! They know how to enhance you my dear, but I'm afraid the beauty is still all you."

His voice got lower as he finished his sentence, and Jenesis felt a wind brush through her upon hearing the shouts of the capital in the background. All of them clearly agreed, and had no shame or hesitations showing it. Just like in the capital party Jenesis attended.

" Don't flatter me Caesar. I can only take so much compliments before my head gets too big."

Laughter came from the projector once more, and Caesar was quick to cut it short as he took control of the audience again.

" I can't wait to see you and your looks throughout this tour darling!" Caesar said with a cheeky grin in the hologram. " We all know Jenesis Hammaz will serve no matter the occasion! I mean, do we need a reminder?"

Jenesis gave a bright smile as she shrugged her shoulders in a cheeky and confident way—screaming well that's just me—in her body language.

She let her eyes wander past the cameras, her smile ever still present, just in time to see everyone begin to leave. Her brow twitched in slight panic for half a second as she caught the thumbs up everyone was giving her as they headed to the train.

Everyone had left besides Roman. Still sticking around behind the cameras comfortably, as if he was still supposed to still be there.

Quickly, Jenesis darted her eyes back to the cameras where the capital was presented to her in the hologram. By the look on Caesars face, she knew she had been caught.

" Oh Jenesis!" Caesars voice called out whiny-like, and Jenesis could already tell she was late to bring her attention back. " Don't tell me something else has already caught your attention?"

Jenesis gave a playful scoff. " Bold of you. I'm a very faithful lady."

Jenesis could hear the laughter that boomed from the cameras microphone.

Clearly, Caesar and the crowd were more than pleased for the flirtatious and yet funny response. They were also happy that the attention of Jenesis was confirmed to still be on them.

For a second she gave herself a minute of praise for the quick save that she did while managing to stay in character.

" We don't have to be in each others line of sight to know that we're with one another."

—Finnick had told her on the beach, and Jenesis found it ironic that in a moment like this—she was thinking of the boy who promised to always stay with her.

What was interesting was that the thought of him didn't distract her in the moment, and his words and face in her head made Jenesis keep going.

I'll have to thank him later, she said as she gave the camera a soft laugh.

She had to appear as effortless as possible for the cameras. Roman had told Jenesis that her jeans were a new design that had never been worn in the capital. Jeans weren't worn in the capital. At least not the denim ones that Jenesis was familiar with. They most likely thought it was cheap, and Jenesis Hammaz looked everything but that in her new outfit.

The front of her jeans appeared to be folded, and hung low on her hips. Paired with a tight white tank top that moved along her waist, and accumulated her breast.

" We folks in the capital are awaiting for your arrival as the final stop of the tour!" Caesar  said amongst the loud cheering. He had a huge grin on his face as if he too was excited about Jenesis's presence for the party in the capital.
" We can't wait to see the Diamond of the Capital make her entrance!"

Jenesis smiled brightly and waved her hands once more to keep the cheers of the people going.  She could tell that Caesar was trying to wrap up this small segment, and her speaking would make that much harder for him. She also had no interest standing in front of these cameras any longer. All Jenesis wanted to do was get on the train and sleep.

" When that time comes we'll finally get to finish what we started! We'll truly get to know how the Diamond In the Rough became the diamond of the Capital!" Caesar said with an enthusiasm that made Jenesis seem more interesting than she really was. " Tune in as she goes on the Victory Tour around Panem! Completing a total of 11 peculiar districts, ending with her own to mark the official 12! Caesar Flickerman, accompanied by our latest Victor of the 69th Annual Hunger Games—Jenesis Hammaz, signing off."

And the tour officially commenced.

     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" President Snow sent you a letter," Roman whispered in Jenesis's ear as he guided her to the train. Jenesis's body froze upon hearing his words, and immediately the beady blue eyes of the president flashed in her mind. His lingering threats that hung loosely in the air—carrying death around as if it weighed nothing. With his own aura filled with the blood and murder of thousands of innocent children that increased with every passing day. Jenesis went rigid, and Roman quickly placed his hand on her shoulder. Giving it a firm squeeze to call her back from her shocked state and provide her some comfort.

" With your body language I'm assuming the two of you have already spoken?" He asked as they entered the train.

The train doors closed immediately behind them, and Jenesis barely registered climbing the steps.

" What do you know about conversations with him?" She asked Roman curiously with a raised brow after collecting herself.

Roman gave Jenesis an unimpressed look.
" Believe it or not, I'm originally from District 1. My family and I, like some others in One, weren't convinced and brainwashed by the capitalism. Therefore, I know him for what he truly is, and I've had a talk of my own."

Jenesis looked up at him in surprise upon hearing his words. " You're from the districts? And you've spoken with Snow?"

" Don't say that." He quickly responded.

Jenesis was confused for a moment, thinking about what she had possibly said that could be deemed offensive. When she realized that the only thing she did was say Snows name aloud she curtly nodded. Resisting the urge to begin frantically looking around for cameras.

" Yes and yes." Roman confirmed. " But Snow sent you a letter. I know better than to carry it on me, so after dinner linger around a bit. It's brief, but something I know you would want to know right away."

" How would you know?" She asked with furrowed brows. " Did you open it?"

Roman quickly shook his head. " No I didn't. But with the way my conversation with him went, I believe this is what he was talking about. What he told me before I left the capital, and the letter he wrote right in front of me, must be similar in some way."

Many things raced in Jenesis's mind. Roman being from District One cleared up many things about him that Jenesis saw as rare and impossible. It made sense that he wasn't so ignorant towards the game, and was more understanding than the whole capital combined. Roman was once a citizen in the districts of what is called Panem. He once had to get his finger pricked, line up in the lines divided by age, and wait with a heavy heart and his fearful parents as a name was to be plucked. It's possible that maybe he was ready to fight in the games like all tributes from district one are. After all, he was a well built guy.

But it's also possible that he was nothing but a fearful boy. Who clearly saw no point in the death match that was encouraged to him from an early age, yet attended the academy to prepare himself if needed. Who would've thought that district people could even upgrade to the capital? It must be only people from district one that could do such thing.

Jenesis and Roman had some similarities. Even if it was as minuscule as both of them have had to take a deep breath before a name was called.

" I can't believe you're actually from the Capital," Jenesis said as she walked past a giant tub sat on the centred table. Her eyes traced the tall and long tub. " I thought maybe you were just a citizen blessed with less ignorance."

Roman turned to face Jenesis, and he could see the smirk the young girl had in her eyes.
" Are you implying that I'm still ignorant?"

Jenesis shrugged.

Roman shook his head. " Whatever. I'll tell you more another time. Let's eat dinner."

Jenesis could barely open her mouth to reject the idea of eating—before one of the many train cart doors that she has walked through opened. Revealing everyone sitting at the table.  Immediately, Jenesis recognized the face of her sister in the odd setting of the grand dining table. Quickly she took note of Mags and Finnick.

Lastly, she realized the mix of impatient and  excited faces of Dolla, Giovanni, Star, and Dolla.

" Oh," she said in surprise.  " You guys were waiting?"

Dolla clasped her hands together. " Yes! And now we can finally eat!"

Upon hearing Dolla's words, everyone began to scurry and pick up spoons and pitchforks to select from the piles of food in front of them.

But it was only Finnick, Mags, and Jasmine that reminded still. Not forgetting their rule that they won't eat until all of them are seated at Mags island.

It brought a small smile to Jenesis's face.

" After you," Roman said with a tilt of his head.

Jenesis nodded in acknowledgment and thanks and moved to take the empty seat between Finnick and Jasmine. The moment she sat down, and Roman followed after, they all dug into their dinner.

Jenesis tried to open her appetite up for the capital food, but the breakfast she had was still sitting in her stomach unusually. She plated herself fried shrimp accompanied by the rice and the bright red beef stew that gave off a wonderful aroma. Jenesis also drank the fruit punch that was a reddish purple to fill her stomach. Hoping that the tasty liquid would be easier to digest than the food. Jasmine was so surprised by the taste of the food, she had almost everyone gushing over her cuteness. Jasmine Hammaz was an awfully slow eater, and Jenesis spent most of her time cutting her sisters food up into smaller bits to take a break from her food. The younger Hammaz had drank so much flavours of juice with the encouragement of a squealing Star, Jenesis had began to see the signs of a sugar rush all over her sister.

Jenesis was quick to push the juice away and replace it with water despite Jasmine's complains.

She could faintly hear Finnick's laughter beside her as she told her sister to fix her face—because the pout wouldn't change the fact that she was done with juice and stuck with water.

" Jenesis dearie, there's some brownie bites!" Sasha pointed out noticing that Jenesis seemed done with dinner, and had ate the least.
" Darling don't tell me you're dieting? You practically ate the whole table when you were a tribute. You're gorgeous, and these are your favourite! Everyone knows that!"

Jenesis felt herself go stiff for the severalt time since the day started.

" Jenesis if you're dieting than I'm a lost cause!" Star had to add almost immediately.

Giovanni quickly chirped in words of agreement, and Jenesis truly had to think about whether her two styling assistants were possibly related.

" I'm not dieting." She spoke simply with a small sigh. " I guess I just didn't see them. Thanks for pointing it out Sasha."

Sasha smiled as Jenesis began to pile several brownies on her plate.

Coincidentally, Jenesis felt Finnick's knee collide into her own under the table. Jenesis could already hear the silent question he was asking her with that action alone.

Are you okay? Are you in your own head? Are you still with me?

As she placed the last brownie on her plate, she nodded her head subtly—not directed to anyone. Finnick turned to give her a quick once over. Clearly he wanted to see Jenesis's face to truly take her word. Though when he saw her face was straight, he knew she was most likely not okay in the present moment. Something seemed to bother her that had her in her own head again.

Oh how he wished he could help.

I did see them. Jenesis told herself bitterly as Sasha happily went back to eating. I just have a fucked up digestive system now.

She took a bite of one, and her stomach allowed the rich chocolate in easier than she thought. Something is still normal about me, she told herself as she ate the remains of the brownie.

Dinner proceeded on with much talking and conversation. Jenesis kept conversation with Finnick and Jasmine for the most part after Mags went to sleep. Roman and Dolla seemed to be talking amongst themselves in a deep conversation that looked really professional. Jenesis concluded that they were probably talking about her looks and how they would go about her appearances.

When the time came for dinner to wrap up, Jenesis immediately remembered Romans words to stick around.

She gave Roman a look as everyone began to rise from their seats. Turning to Jasmine she spoke, " I have a little business to discuss with Roman over there. Think you could tuck yourself in?"

Jenesis was grateful that Jasmine had gotten over their situation at the table, and there was no ounce of sass in her body.

Still, the younger Hammaz gave a pout as she slumped her shoulders. " But I don't know this place..."

Jenesis opened her mouth to speak but Finnick was faster. " I'll take her there."

The two sisters raised their heads to look at the blonde male. " I don't want to bother you Finnick." Jenesis politely declined. " I'm also the one that basically made Jasmine come along."

Finnick shook his head in disbelief. " Don't shut down some help Jenesis."

Jenesis pursed her lips upon hearing Finnick's words. Of course, she thought to herself. Because there's more than one way for him to stay with me.

Finnick held out his hand for the younger girl to take, "Come on Jasmine,"

Upon seeing his outstretched hand, Jasmine gave Jenesis a look that asked for approval to proceed with her blonde companion. When Jenesis gave a shrug in response with a slight smile, Jasmine took Finnick's hand with a wave to her sister.

"  Night night." She called out.

Jenesis kept her eyes on Finnick and Jasmine as she spoke. " Goodnight."

Rising to stand completely straight, Jenesis released a deep sigh as she turned back to face Roman. The two of them being the only people left in the train cart.

" I told you it was brief." He spoke the moment their eyes connected. " I wouldn't have mind if you went to tuck your sister into bed."

" Then why didn't you say that?" Jenesis asked incredulously.

Roman shrugged and gave a smile. " I didn't want to make it seem like you didn't know the extent of it yourself. You would look confused."

Jenesis shook her head. " Lead the way."

Roman and her moved through the train as he made his way to wherever he had kept the letter. As they walked, Jenesis let her mind wander to the first time she had stepped on the train. She had finished talking with Vincent, hearing his words of encouragement that she herself doubted, before entering the train. It amazes her that she entered this train believing that she would die and never see district four again, but now here she was—once again departing district four, to commence her victory tour as someone who survived the games.

" Here it is." Roman said as he handed her a white crisp envelope sealed with a white rose sticker.

Jenesis wasted no time tearing the envelope apart to get to what she truly cared about. Carelessly, Jenesis let the pieces of the white envelope drop to the floor as she held up a rather thick square paper. Immediately, she found the words, and Jenesis let her eyes dance across the paper carefully.

Dear Ms. Hammaz,

Following our wonderful discussion in district four, I believe you understand the importance to keep up the image I've assigned you at all times. I do hope that you don't disappoint me for the next few weeks.

President Snow.

" It's brief all right." Jenesis said as she read the last line of the letter. " Thought he might include some theatrics."

" Glad I was correct than," Roman said with a nod. " But take the simple as theatrical. It's best to not underestimate him. You're not friends."

Jenesis nodded in acknowledgment—tucking the letter into her jeans pocket. It's as if he wants me to treat him as one, she wanted to say to Roman as a correction to the last part.

Roman dropped his shoulders with a sigh. Letting his hands stuff into his pockets as he caught Jenesis's gaze. " You have a long journey up ahead. Prepare yourself Jenesis."

It was his way of trying to tell her to get some sleep. But of course, Roman is less ignorant than most, and Jenesis wasn't surprised that he had once again showed her. Although he was currently capital, being born and raised district would always make Roman more open to the reality of Panem—therefore, making him less capital. His knowledge from once being a citizen of district one could only make the muse and stylist relate so much, and Jenesis was reminded that district one was rich. They really only related to the pricking of the finger, and the dread that followed weeks before and after the reaping.

With a weak smile, Jenesis nodded her head at the tall man. " I'll try to."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jenesis piled her plate with food at the breakfast table. She was sure that it was still early hours of the morning when she decided to get out of her room. Unfortunately, Jenesis hadn't got a wink of sleep. It was the night before she would officially start her victory tour ; appearing in district twelve, and sleep was the last thing on her mind. Jenesis had tried to make an effort to close her eyes and lie down right after a hot shower, but in the end, it was all pointless. No amount of cinnamon and Shea butter soap could ease her mind. Jenesis's mind settled on having a nightmare that she awoke to not even an hour later.

It's wasn't the typical nightmare about the arena. Where she relived the traumatic experience and saw the faces of dead children.

This nightmare was different.

It was about Cinthia and her family. Cinthia and her brother and sister. Cinthia and her sisters husband. Cinthia and her niece. It was about them all being dead because Jenesis didn't appeal to President Snow.

Her nightmare was about whether Peacekeepers would shoot them all fire squad style. Or would he pluck them one by one like he said? Brother and sister first, then Cinthia? It's not possible. There's two extra people in the picture, a baby and a fiancée soon to be husband and father.

It was all so comical. How such a brief letter managed to ignite so much fear in her.

Did President Snow want her to smile as she looked the family and citizens in the eye while saying that their children died in honour?
Or was he only asking that she follows the cards and doesn't go off script? How would she do that when she got to District Seven?

These are the thoughts that made Jenesis awake in cold sweat not even an hour after closing her eyes.

So she showered and changed into long sleeve silk pyjamas. Taking a seat in one of the empty train carts as she listened to the Avox's set up the breakfast table. The moment Jenesis adjusted her ears to hear them leave with their silent footsteps into another cart far way, she entered the breakfast room.

And that was how she got here, a plate of food right in front of her as she enjoyed the silence.

There was French toast that was so thick and fluffy on her plate, accompanied by two pork sausages, diced cinnamon liquid covered apples, a buttery biscuit, some strawberries, and finally a cold orange juice with fresh ice as her drink. Jenesis found the appetite to eat, whether it was out of stress, or because she was genuinely hungry.

She would be surprised if it was the former. Stress eating was not something she was familiar with.

Jenesis drowned her French toast slice in syrup as she took a giant bite of it. The sweetness and crispness of the edges melting in her mouth. She reached for the powdered sugar bottle and sprinkled some on the syrup, cutting herself a good piece with the fork. A knife was on the other side of her plate, but Jenesis found no use in the etiquette at the moment. If someone walks in from behind her, she would pick it up.

But it seems she had spoken too soon.

The sound of the train cart opening made Jenesis's interest drop significantly, and with a new attitude inside her she picked up her knife swiftly.

Jenesis chewed her french toast slowly as she awaited for the person to announce themselves.

" Look who's up early." Finnick's voice said from behind her.

Jenesis dropped the knife immediately, and her interest went back up just as quick.
" You have to stop saying that."

" Absolutely not," he quickly said as he took a seat across from her. " I truly did think you would sleep in though. Y'know, the whole pretend thing you do?"

Jenesis scoffed, drinking some juice to clear her throat. " Yeah no. I didn't even get an hour of sleep."

Finnick's face dropped quickly as he set his pristine plate onto the table. " Jenesis..."

" I know." She quickly said. " I know it's not good. I really did try though. To y'know...sleep. But then I got this nightmare, and it was, different, it was very different. It woke me up not even an hour later, and I just didn't go back to bed after that."

Finnick gave Jenesis an understanding look with a small sigh. " Maybe it's better if you're half awake."

Jenesis shook her head, taking a bite of her food. " I'm feeling so much guilt. It's keeping me more awake than sleep ever could."

She spoke with her head down facing her plate, and her mouth full with food—successfully muffling her words.

" Feeling guilt is normal," he spoke dejectedly.
" Guilt is a parasite that feasts on our actions of the past while eating us alive. Your soul is going to feel heavy on the stage, and when it does—"

" Think of the people that really care for me." Jenesis finished. " It helped me when you guys were leaving to board the train yesterday. I panicked, and I felt so confused and lost all of a sudden. I caught myself of course. Just played it off. But it didn't go away. Not until I thought about your words, and those who really care about me. So, thanks for that."

Finnick seemed taken aback for a second, and something soft flashed in his eyes. " Don't thank me. It was Mags that told me that for my tour."

Jenesis stared at Finnick.

" Right," he nodded, upon seeing the look on her face. " I can't say that with all I tell you. Your welcome."

Jenesis nodded in content. The feeling to engage in conversation left her quicker than she would've liked, and her attention was placed on her food once more.

Finnick seemed to understand, and didn't seem to mind. He was still with her and present as promised. Even in silence.

So the two ate their food together with peace lingering between them, and they took their time as unavoidable doom waited up ahead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

District Twelve was cold. The air was stiff when Jenesis took in a deep breath. The moment she stepped off the train as the last person, she was greeted by dusty air, and a dim sky. Jenesis was glad that once again, Roman had thought about the contrast of the weather in every district. District four was still warm in the month of January. Only going to the coldest temperature of 30 degrees Celsius. At that time, some citizens wore their sweaters like Finnick, and made sure to wear literal cotton shirts with thick fabric. But as Jenesis stood in the January air of district twelve, she knew immediately that this was winter.

" Is that snow?" She asked curiously to Finnick.

Finnick looked over to where her eyes were settled, and when he saw her gaze on the piles of white not too far from them—he nodded.

" Yeah. It's cold isn't it."

" It is," she said as she tugged the sleeved of her black jacket down. " It's nothing like Four."

—And she meant her words. The air was dull, and district fours air was moist and vibrant. There was no sun, whether that was because it was pushing evening time—Jenesis didn't know. But district four had plenty of sun. District twelve felt lifeless, and district four breathed life into its citizens.

" I'm glad Roman added a jacket to this outfit." Jenesis said as they all waited in a divided group.

Mags, Jasmine, Star, and Giovanni had all stayed on the train due to the cold weather of twelve. They had no business standing in the cold for a speech that didn't concern them. As for Jasmine, Roman said it was generally best she stayed on the train.

" He thought ahead." Finnick whispered to her.
" I thought he might put you in a skirt."

Jenesis could hear the joke underlined in his words, and she saw no problem with trying to engage. " I thought he would try jeans again."

They were both wrong. Jenesis's outfit for district twelve consisted of all black—and she didn't know if it had to do with the coal industry. She was wearing long black tights that were thick but stretchy, warming her legs as much as it could. She had a black undershirt that was tucked well into her tights, and you could only see the fabric on her stomach and chest. The star of her outfit had to be the jacket and the fluffy boots she wore. Her jacket was puffy and pitch black with silver zippers. It was long enough to end at her navel, with the top left unzipped to show her black undershirt. The jacket itself had long and puffy arms that extended past Jenesis's hand, and granted her great space to move around and lift her arms.

Her hair though was basic. The newly dyed blonde stretched hair was styled in a ponytail. The hair that cascaded past her shoulders were curled in cute curls that swirled loosely in all directions. The highlight of the style was the two pieces that curled at the front of her hair. Separated by a middle part line, Dolla had curled two perfect pieces that curled down to her jawline to frame Jenesis's face cutely.

" Jenesis!" Sasha called. " Come here to the front. The mayor is around the corner to greet you as the victor and guest to this district. Appear confident."

" You might feel nervous, but as the escort of district four, I have prepared all the cards for your speech!" Sasha spoke as if it was the cure to Jenesis's high nerves. " So no worries! Just follow the cards and you'll be fine!"

No I won't, she thought. " Yeah I will."

" Great!" She chirped with a pat to her shoulder. " Everyone, let's go!"

Greeting the Mayor was nothing special. He was a man with dull blonde hair and light brown eyes that showed signs of age on his face. Jenesis could tell that he tried to prepare himself and correct his posture for her arrival, but ultimately, he hunched. He gave her a smile that painfully so obviously did not reach his eyes in the slightest, but it made her feel more comfortable than offended.

She wasn't the only one that didn't want to be here. 

Sasha had asked him briefly where the only victor of twelve was—Haymitch Abernathy, and he gave a long sigh before he answered that due to certain reasons he's unable to currently be present to greet Jenesis as the mentor to the tributes she fought in the arena with. Jenesis gave a wave of her hand and brushed it off. She was more than aware that he was probably drunk somewhere. Too drunk to be able to show his face, and she didn't blame him. After all, she too has had her fair share of being tempted by alcohol. Unfortunately, she didn't give in. But a man like Haymitch Abernathy was far too deep.

The Justice building was empty when she boarded to enter it. And upon getting so deep into the centre of district with peacekeepers accompanying them, she realized just how dusty the air of district twelve was. She could practically see the black soot of coal particles floating in the air.

Sasha was hellbent on walking with the presence of peacekeepers on various sides of them. Refusing to begin their journey through the empty path of twelve to get to the district. Jenesis almost scoffed from Finnick's side. The only thing she had to offer the citizens of twelve was her tacky wig, and expensive jewellery. But she seemed pretty hellbent on protecting them.

Jenesis was to stand behind some doors in the Justice building and remain behind them until the square was filled with all the citizens. The cameras for the capital and most importantly, for President Snow, would be set up at different angles to catch her hopefully less than 5 minute speech. 

" Do you want to practice darling?" Sasha asked as Jenesis stood stiffly in the corner.
" The dialect is pretty simple in case you're worried about that." 

Jenesis gave the woman the most grateful smile she could muster.  She could tell Sasha has been trying hard to help her in a blissfully ignorant way, and she wanted to give her some props.

" Thank you," Jenesis said politely. " For the cards and everything else. It would be hell if I had to go off the top of my head."

She could see the woman brightly smile at her words. Like she had just said the greatest thing she could hear to her.

" Luckily, one of my skills is my way with words. So uh, I trust that the cards aren't too technical."

Sasha nodded her head in agreement and understanding. Jenesis didn't truly believe she had a way with words—compared to someone like Finnick who knew exactly what someone wanted to hear, all while making it sound so natural. But in that moment, she had really told Sasha what she wanted to hear in the nicest way possible, and she believed she made it sound natural too.

" Okay dearie," she said understandingly.
" Good luck out there. I'll give you this when we're camera ready!"

It's best not to practice. She told herself. That way I won't know what ignorance she'll tell me to say until I'm on the stage. Maybe it will quench my guilt.

A good half an hour passed before Jenesis finally began to hear the sound of synchronized and drawn out footsteps. The citizens steps to the square making a melody that stilled her bones. Immediately, Dolla and Roman approached Jenesis. The former holding a pallet in her hand along with lip glosses, and the latter holding nothing.

Jenesis straightened her face the moment Dolla reached her.

" People often have a habit of picking their lips when their nervous." Dolla spoke as she applied the gloss to Jenesis's lips. " Try not to do that. Aright?"

Jenesis couldn't even nod with the way her ears were listening in to the mayor as he began to speak on the stage.

Her hands began to get sweaty as breathing became hard. She didn't even phantom Dolla waking away after delivering her words, and Romans affirmations as he fixed her jackets zippers and undershirt. All she knew was that he talked to her on her shoulder, and then slowly back away from her as if he was being called away.

" Places people!" Sasha called out to everyone in a whisper.

Jenesis took her first step to the door, and she was almost certain she was going to collapse if it wasn't for Sasha suddenly approaching her from her left.

" Honey there's nothing to be nervous about, okay? I've written these words out for you perfectly. Just follow them. Here." Quickly, she shoved the cards into Jenesis's hands before slightly nudging her to stand exactly behind the doors that separated her from the cameras, stage, and citizens.

With shaky hands Jenesis tried to steady her raging heart in hopes to slow down the heartbeat she was currently feeling in her ears. Slowly, she turned around to face everyone, and almost all of them were facing the tv in the room that projected the mayor on stage amongst the citizens of district twelve.

—All besides Finnick and Mags.

Green met green, and for a moment in time—that was all Jenesis saw.

" Remember," Finnick mouthed to her.

That people really care about me, she finished in her head.

You guys might hate me, but there are people who genuinely care about me. Who love me.

" I would like to introduce you all, the Victor of the 69th Annual Hunger Games, Jenesis Hammaz."

The doors opened and Jenesis wasn't sure if she cringed from the lack of applause and silent crowd, or the way the peacekeepers tensed in order to make the citizens applaud. Dim claps, clearly forced, emitted from the citizens of twelve as Jenesis stepped into the spotlight. Doors behind her closing immediately.

She breathed deeply from her lungs and forced her head up to the cameras. Acknowledging Snow and the citizens in the capital with a glance before fixing her eyes to the crowd. She took medium sized steps more on the long side as she moved towards the mic. Taking some time to scan the faces of twelve. With her brief scan, she got everything she needed from their face alone. 

They weren't upset at her because of her win.

The citizens faces didn't show resentment as they dully stared at the stage where an outsider stood for the 19th year. They seemed to rather resent life. Soot covered their faces permanently from the labor involving coals, and the coal dusted air itself. Their eyes were lifeless from the poverty and uncertainty of whether they would eat tomorrow. Whether starvation might catch them by a noose in their sleep or during work.

The citizens of twelve weren't fixed by yet another victor from another district on their stage. She was nothing special to them.  Nothing different than the last one that visited. For the last 19 years, the citizens understood one thing amongst all the victors that stood on their stage. Another one of us dead. Maybe not from the mines, and not from starvation, but gone nevertheless.

Jenesis didn't want to admit that it gave her confidence.

" Good evening, citizens of district twelve." She began with what she believed was a steady voice. Jenesis had read the first line and the first line only, before she lifted her head to greet the citizens.  " I am Jenesis Hammaz, standing here on behalf of my honorary victory in the 69h Annual Hunger Games. I want to share with you my victory, and give gratitude to the capital for it all. Though, I also recognize the loss of your two tributes. The tributes of District 12 fought with bravery and an immense amount of dignity."

Jenesis felt her throat tighten every time she read the next line and prepared the ignorant words on her tongue. As she finished the front of the card, she looked to the crowd once more. It wasn't the crowd that got her attention—it was what she was trying to avoid the whole time.

The families. The faces. Kia's face.

Jenesis hadn't known the district twelve boy. All she knew was that he died in the bloodbath. But she knew Kia. The innocent brown haired girl with pale skin and a cheeky look in her eyes. The girl who was the same age as her sister, harboring the same innocence. Yet was forced to kill, and eventually was brutally murdered on tv for the world to see. For her mother to see.

Her mother and her little brother.

Her brother was young, no older than 8 years of age. He had tears streaming down his far. Clutching his mothers hand tightly. His hair was curly and brown, sitting on his head like a mop with the most widest eyes, unfortunately filled with tears. Kia's mother on the other hand attempted to remain strong. But anyone could see that she was about to break down. Tears clouded her vision, and her body wrecked with sobs that she was trying to suppress. Her hair was a rich brown. Pinned straight but clearly greasy and knotted.

Jenesis swallowed thickly.

I'm the cause of the sorrow of many. I didn't even kill her, but the guilt I'm feeling is indescribable.

Jenesis moved one of the strands of curled hair out of her eye. It gave her time to read one line of the card before looking back to the crowd.
" Your tributes brought great honor to their district, and to their...families. No matter the loss taken, we will continue to move forward and celebrate the games with hopes to also become a victor. Thank you all for gathering to listen and welcome me."

There was one more line left.

" Panem today, Panem tomorrow," Jenesis's eyes met Kia's. " Panem forever."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was still required on the train despite the meal they ate with the mayor. Jenesis doesn't remember anything important from the dinner she ate with the mayor as they shared a plate of food. After getting one district off the list with an unexplainable amount of guilt left in her in the aftermath, she had respectfully dissociated from reality. The only thing Jenesis truly remembers was Haymitch Abernathy being present for the dinner half sober and half drunk.

They had all engaged in conversation Jenesis considered dry, but remained somewhat entertaining due to both Finnick and Sasha.

Nothing that the boy and her escort said was memorable for Jenesis. She couldn't recall a word of the topics they discussed in the present moment, but she's sure it will all come back to her later with time. 

The only conversation she truly remembers having is when Haymitch Abernathy started to rant about the black cat that always comes to his house. He had spoke with different tones to his voice, and funny hand gestures that reminded everyone that the guy had been consuming alcohol prior to dinner.  

Jenesis truly laughed and smiled.

Now here she was. Staring into the vanity mirror as she stiffly sat in its chair.

The soft robe on her body after the hot shower she took calmed her heart rate down significantly.

Was it good enough, she thought as she looked at the girl who looked back at her. Did I convince him? Or do the complete opposite and disappoint him?

It was Jenesis's first district. First tour. She had delivered the horary and ignorant speech quite well. She didn't stutter, she didn't sound uncomfortable, and most importantly she actually sounded convincing. Convincing that the capital was generous. Convincing that she was proud to be a victor. That she was grateful to the capital.

Have I done enough? Jenesis never exactly been the type of girl to have eyes that glow with life. But as she looks at her reflection right now, the vibrant green she once had has dulled to a swampy color that lacked life. Did I do well enough to convince him to not kill Cinthia's family?

Jenesis inhaled a deep breath as she ran her fingers through her wet curls. Her hair has gotten much longer since her games. The lack of constant sun and heat made her hair moist and shiny, and the products and attention she's been giving her hair recently made it voluminous and rich with density.

" Give gratitude to the capital," she repeated mindlessly as she twirled the curl around her finger with wide unblinking eyes.  " Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem—"

Knock, knock, knock

Jenesis swiftly turned around at the sound of light knocks on her door. " Yes?"

" Oh! Jenesis dear!" Sasha's voice called out from outside.  " Are you done showering? The food has just arrived!"

Jenesis let out a soft breath of annoyance.  She turned back to the mirror. Continuing to observe her reflection.

" I'll be out soon! I just have to change." She told the woman briefly. " You can tell everyone to start eating without me. Please and thank you."

" If you say so!" She said with a clear attempt to hide her joy upon hearing Jenesis's words.

Jenesis quickly got ready. Throwing on black pajama shorts and a black tank top for her nightwear. She left her hair to air dry after applying a few products to it.

Upon entering the dining area, everyone was eating just as she had hoped. Including Mags, Finnick, and Jasmine. Jenesis gave the group a friendly smile and took her seat between Finnick and her sister. She placed a decent amount of food on her plate that was still hot. Only being interested in the orange colored butter chicken paired with rice, the fluffy butter and garlic dusted bread, and fried shrimps. She ate at a decent pace, her appetite practically gone from the speech and lunch with the mayor.

Sasha knowing she had already ate, did not blink and eye at her plate and portions. Which Jenesis was grateful for.

Jenesis proceeded onto eat dessert—which was labeled as red velvet brownies. A dessert on the table that was relatively big. Cut into giant squares for each person to take, accompanied by a bowl of white topping beside it. While eating the red dessert Jenesis tried to ignore the feeling of a knee tapping into her own every two minutes. She had already known it was Finnick, and after a total of 3 taps—she gave his limb a light knock of her own and shook her head.  She wasn't okay, but she rather not talk about it. Especially when her sister was eating so peacefully beside her. Jenesis wished to savor her peace of mind, and her usually chatty sisters occasional silence.

Although she was the last to join, she was the first to leave not too long after she finished her dessert and engaged in conversation with Sasha.

The woman had applauded her for reading off the cards perfectly, and delivering her words with such poise and confidence.  Her prep team joined in on the praise aside for Roman. They seemed to gush over what Jenesis said about having plenty of gratitude for the capital after her win. Apparently with how she said it, it felt like she was genuinely thanking every citizen in the capital.

It made her somewhat pleased before it turned to an uncomfortable feeling.

If every citizen was reacting to her words the way her prep team was, than Jenesis was certain that she convinced Snow. She was certain that she managed to keep up the appearances. 

But then there was a part of her that thought about home.  She was district, and always will be. The idea that she was even praising the capital angered her. Not when they had killed 23 children that she once lived amongst at some point in her life.  What would her home think? If they were watching this. Would they see her as a traitor? A suck up? Would they officially hate her once she returned to four to do her final speech?

The thoughts set heavy in her mind, and Jenesis was quick to excuse herself.

Her prep team hadn't blinked in confusion and concern for her departure because she had the smallest portion of food, and dinner was wrapping up anyways. 

Jenesis bid goodnight to everyone and gave her sister a quick kiss on the cheek before finally leaving.

District 11 was next, and Jenesis had to prepare herself for the feeling of guilt that would come in soon time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jenesis wasn't aware what she was doing. It was the middle of the night, and once again she hadn't slept at all.  Everyone was tucked away into their rooms, sound asleep. The train was empty and dark for the most part. After tucking in her sister, Jenesis had tried to do the same for herself too. But the moment she had closed her eyes, it hadn't even been half an hour before she awoke in cold sweat.  It wasn't a dream. Not this time. This time she could've sworn that she really heard Slaters voice whispering in her ear as she slept.  The worst part was that even as she opened her eyes and awoke—she was still and stuck to her bed. Still hearing his voice.

So now she was standing outside Finnicks bedroom door. Hesitating on whether or not she should knock on the door to awake the boy for emotional comfort.

I'm selfish. Jenesis thought as she knocked lightly three times. She waited five seconds for a response before testing the the knob out. I'm so selfish.

The door was unlocked.

A part of Jenesis was saying to her that what she was doing was wrong.  That it was Finnick's privacy and time to himself, and he didn't seem to be having a nightmare. It would be horrible of her to interrupt his moment of peace.  Then the other part of her was saying that this was apart of their promise. He had promised to stay with her. It was expected of him to keep up his end of the promise at all times of the day.

Jenesis didn't ponder any longer. She opened the room door slowly with cold hands, and proceeded to close it behind her—surrounding her in darkness.

" Finnick," she whispered from the door into the darkness.  " Finnick? Please wake up."

Jenesis was only seeing black. Finnick had no lights on whatsoever, no window open—not even an open blind.  His room was completely dark, and the darkness was making Jenesis feel more threatened than she had felt in her own room.

" Finnick!" She shouted loud enough to be contained in the walls. " Finnick wake up!"

Jenesis instantly heard the sound of shuffling from his bedsheets. Although the bed wasn't creaking to show signs of his body lifting, the sound was enough to tell her that Finnick was somewhat awake.

" Finnick." She called out, taking a tiny and wobbly step forward.

" Jenesis?" He spoke confused. Not too long after his words came out the lamp light was turned on. " What's wrong? Why aren't you asleep?"

With the new light to brighten the room dimly, Jenesis began to approach Finnick. " I can't sleep. I tried to, and it's just—it's not working."

For a moment Finnick only stared at her. Jenesis looked scared, cautious, and clearly was paranoid. He was aware that she was not the type of person to seek out for help actively, and it was something that she was working on. So for her to have what he assumes was a nightmare, and come to him in the middle of the night—shows clearly that it was intense.

" Can I stay with you?" Jenesis asked upon seeing his knowing stare. " Just for tonight?"

Finnick nodded, shifting too one side of his bed. " Yeah. Yeah of course."

Jenesis quickly acted on the confirmation. Moving towards the empty side of his bed hastily, and settling herself into the warm blankets.

" Thank you." She mumbled as she slowly set her head on the pillow. Her gaze fixed on the ceiling.

" Don't thank me." Finnick responded. Now also staring at the ceiling. " I said always, right?"

Jenesis meekly nodded her head. Though they weren't doing anything crazy, if anyone walked in right now, Jenesis was certain the assumptions would be crazy. Finnick Odair—the heartthrob of the capital who had the reputation of a whore and playboy, was sharing a bed with Jenesis Hammaz—the newly crowned victor that is a walking diamond amongst the citizens of Panem.

Their forced reputations clashed roughly with loud bangs during the collision. Rumors like that would cause a stir amongst the capital citizens, whether good or bad Jenesis wasn't sure. But with the way their duties were complete opposites of each other, Jenesis was sure it would be horrible with President Snow. In that moment, she was more than aware that people must never suspect that there is a greater relationship between Finnick and Jenesis besides Mentor and Tribute.

" Do you want to talk about it?" Finnick asked her. Breaking the silence.

" No." Jenesis quickly said. " It's the type that's better to pretend never happened."

He nodded his head upon hearing her words.
" That's temporary though. You'll always know in the back of your head that it did happen."

Jenesis pursed her lips at his truthful words.
" Well than at least not now."

Finnick believes that was better than anything else she could've said. " I'm all ears when you're ready."

" I know you are."

It was quiet amongst them for a good five minutes, and Jenesis didn't even realized that her heart beat had calmed down to a steady pace. Her hands were no longer shaking in paranoia and fear. Laying down on the bed as she hopefully waited for night sleep to whisk over her did not make her panic, and struggle to breathe. She was awfully calm in the dim room.

" How do you sleep in compete darkness?" Jenesis eventually asked. Despite her calmness, there was something missing that prevented her from falling asleep.

" My arena was very bright. Mountains, water and a hot sun." Jenesis internally winced for making him recall his games.

" I'm sorry—"

" No it's okay." Finnick quickly deflected with a sigh. " When I dream of the arena some nights, my dreams are very bright. I can see the sun from my games, and I can recall how unnaturally long it would take to go down. When I open my eyes and see darkness, I know I'm not in the arena."

Jenesis turned her head to look at Finnick.
" You know you're safe?"

" Maybe not safe," he spoke with uncertainty.
" I think the word I feel is helpless. I don't feel helpless all over again."

Helpless. That's the perfect word to describe how most people feel about all relation to the games. At the reaping you feel helpless. On stage as the chosen tribute you feel helpless. As you go into the arena to fight you feel helpless. As you're cornered as prey you feel helpless. And for everyone—in their moments of death, they feel helpless. 

Helpless was a great word.

A thought crossed Jenesis's mind, and she didn't allow the silence that had taken over them linger any longer.

" Can I move closer?"

It was silent for a moment, and Jenesis didn't have the guts to look at Finnick. Have I crossed the line now?

" Not to do anything of course." She quickly clarified. " It's just, maybe we'll sleep better—I'll sleep better, if I just knew someone was closer to me."

For a moment, Finnick didn't say anything, and Jenesis was fighting the urge to suffocate herself with the sheets.

" Yes you can."

" What?"

He turned to place his gaze on her. Green met green as Finnick looked at Jenesis with a softness that leaked into her heart.

" Move as close as you want." He confirmed his words.  " It's not like we're doing anything, right? I mean, we both deserve sleep and peace. Company and support.  I said I'll always stay with you, and it helps both of us right?"

Jenesis quickly nodded her head at his question. " Of course."

Slowly, she shifted a good three inches closer to Finnick. Clearly not wanting to invade his personal space more than she already had. 

" Can I come closer?" He asked. Seeing that she had went as stiff as a board following her shift. 

Jenesis blinked in surprise. Her stomach churning softly at the thought of being closer.

" Yes." She said eventually.

Finnick shifted three inches closer to Jenesis. Now, there was just about a gap the size of a small stuffed animal between them. 

" Is this good?" Finnnick asked with caution.

Jenesis felt her lips turn up into a faint smile.
" It's great."

Finnick's lips curled up into a big smile. " At anytime if you start to feel uncomfortable, let me know immediately."

Jenesis allowed her head to find a comfortable position on the pillow. " Okay."

" How do you feel about the lights off?" Finnick asked sitting up to turn off the lamp. 

Jenesis felt herself go still for a moment. The last thing she wanted was to be in the darkness. No matter the room she was in.

" I hate the darkness of a bedroom."

With her words, Finnick rested back in the sheets. " Then we'll keep the light on."

" No." Jenesis quickly responded. Not seeing how it was right to make Finnick sleep in brightness after saying that the brightness reminded him of his arena.  " You don't like the brightness."

He shrugged, turning onto his side to face Jenesis. " It's okay, really. Either way, lights off or not— a brightness is around me anyways."

Jenesis let her brows crinkle at his words, but as something wrecked through her body, she finally began to feel herself slip into the first stage of sleep.

" Goodnight." She said right as she let her eyes close. 

"Goodnight." Finnick responded. " And sweet dreams."

It was the last thing she heard. 

It was the first time Jenesis and Finnick peacefully slept through a whole night. 

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following morning was quick. Jenesis and Finnick were once again the first to awaken, and quickly ate breakfast in their light mood despite what waited ahead. It was early in the morning, and Jenesis was certain that they were already in district eleven. She had not too long to get ready, and she was aware that her speech would be soon. Her prep team hadn't taken much time upon getting her hair and make up fixed for district 11, and Roman once again had an outfit perfectly planned for the district. 11 was more hotter compared to the cool of district 12. Her outfit was a matching set that consisted of a beige skirt and beige top. The skirt was more loose rather than tight, and appeared to be silk though it was not. The shirt was the same. It had a design that appeared like a bra but the shirt covered her chest fully, as well as her arms, and was for sure longer than a bra.  

Arriving in district 11, the first thing Jenesis took note of was the fields that stretched on for miles. 

District 11 lacked buildings, and was mainly ground and trees. She was greeted by two victors by the name of Seeder and Chaff. They introduced themselves as best as they could. Clearly trying to appear lively and not closed off, and they weren't the only ones doing so.  Upon taking the stage, Jenesis was slightly relieved that she had no personal guilt clogging her throat as she looked at the pictures of the two tributes above the crowd of emotionless faces. She hadn't made contact with the tributes from 11 during the games, and she must admit that it made the ignorant words she said easier to get out. All she knew about their tributes was that the girl died the same night as Kia, and the boy died in the bloodbath.

She spoke as clear as possible, and she sounded convincing as she delivered the words—avoiding the sight of the family behind the crowd. 

District 11 finished quickly with lunch with the mayor and the two victors—Seeder and Chaff.

As quick as 11 went by, district 10 and 9 followed the same pace in no time. Because once again in those districts, she was speaking on tributes that she hadn't ran into. Their deaths weren't on her hands, and her guilt wasn't spreading and eating her insides alive like she felt in twelve. Although Jenesis was aware that she had not killed Kia, she still acknowledged that she knew the young girl. She saw her as what she literally was— a child. She saw her as what her sister could've been, and that twelve year old girl from the poorest district in Panem saved her. Maybe not literally, but the information she had given her and her ally's was life saving.

That was enough to make Jenesis feel guilty that the girls end was by the hands of Slater.

The morning preparing for District 8 was dreadful. Everyone—which refers to mostly Sasha—was acknowledging that this was the district to the girl Jenesis killed in the bloodbath.

Jenesis hadn't exactly prepared herself for the speech in district 8. Upon waking up in Finnick's bed, dread filled her body as it dawned upon her that she was in the home of one of the girls she had killed in the arena. The first girl she had killed, and Jenesis didn't even know her name. The same feeling of guilt had settled in her stomach as she took a hot shower. It was as intense as the way she was feeling in district twelve, and she hasn't even stepped off the train.

When breakfast time rolled around, Jenesis had only ate the buttery biscuits with a bowl of fruit, and tried to wash it down with a glass of punch.

Part of her wanted to run away. Wanted to get off the train, and run wherever she could. But that part of her was often silenced by her sisters presence, and the capital citizens on the train that would ensure she wouldn't get far to begin with.

Her eyes lifted from her half eaten bowl of fruits to graze over everyone at the table. Roman, Sasha, Dolla, and Giovanni all sat on one side of the table together. While Jasmine, Jenesis, Finnick, and Mags all sat on the other. That's how it's been since the first time they ate on the train, and she had gotten used to being across Sasha on the table.

Did Jenesis like it though? No. But she'll acknowledge that it's better than sitting across from Star. Who couldn't seem to ever stop talking about how Jenesis was made to be on tv, and how she's Romans long lost muse.

Yeah. I'll take Sasha over Star any day, Jenesis thought with an internal grimace.

Suddenly, Sasha cleared her throat—and it was enough to make Jenesis take back her former statement.

" Jenesis dearie! In case you forgot, this is the district of the girl you killed in the bloodbath!"

This time, Jenesis felt everyone else go rigid.

Everyone as in her sister, Finnick, Roman, and Mags.

And of course, Sasha didn't notice. " Due to this, your speech is going to be entirely different! I'm letting you know just in case, because I can see that you've gotten comfortable with the words. Think of it as a heads up!"

Jenesis inhaled a deep breath as she turned her head to place her gaze on Sasha. " Right. Thanks for the heads up,"

Sasha seemed content with Jenesis's constant manners and politeness. She tilted her head at her and cooed. Waving a hand to brush her off as if saying it wasn't necessary. Though it was, because she didn't fail to bring up how she doesn't recall Finnick Odair ever having the manners of Jenesis Hammaz when he had won.

" — but don't worry, I remember the people I killed."

For a moment surprised seemed to cover  everyones face. It wasn't exactly from Jenesis's words, but she could tell it was due to their own surprise that victors remember the children they were forced to kill. They clearly believed that they killed children and forgot about it the moment they stepped out of the arena—if not, earlier. 

Clearly,  Jenesis remembering the people she killed shocked them.

Sasha let the surprise fade off her face. Recollecting herself. " Well than, you must have marvelous memory!"

Jenesis's fist clenched under the table, and she tried her best to not let the tension in her body show on her face.  Her eyes met Roman's from across the breakfast table, and the anger in his dark brown eyes only poured gasoline into her own fire.

Roman said nothing, and Jenesis watched with shaking fists as he wiped his mouth with the napkin.  " Excuse me. I'm going to go retrieve Jenesis's outfit."

Jenesis felt her body boil with rage as she watched him get up, removing himself with ease so quickly. 

Just as words flooded to her tongue that she knew would end badly if they were spoken, a warm hand wrapped around her fist under the table. 

Finnick. She knew his touch from anywhere.

Almost immediately, the warmth of Finnick's hand stopped the shaking of Jenesis's fist. But the heat in her body refused to go so easily.  It seemed like she needed ice to cool down.

Quickly, Jenesis used one hand to pour herself another glass of juice. She didn't trust her voice or tone to calmly reply to Sasha's compliment. So she hoped her mundane actions would make her seem more collected and normal.

Just as Jenesis was about take a sip, Jasmines soft voice reached her before any juice could. 

" Won't her family be sad?"

The hot blood was cooled. Quickly turning to ice. 

Shame. Fear. Embarrassment. Anger. 

Jenesis will never forget the way she felt this day at the breakfast table upon hearing her sisters question. 

" Won't they be angry?" Jasmine continued on with less curiosity than normal. She sounded certain.  She was certain in her words, and it scared Jenesis. " I would be upset if Jenesis died and the person that killed her gave a speech about her death."

The whole table seemed to be shocked by her words. Whether because they weren't expecting it from the little girl, or because they were imagining things from the perspective Jasmine had set.

" Jasmine," Jenesis called out to her sister—suddenly breathless.  " No." she said as she shook her head. 

Jasmine seemed confused by Jenesis's expression that she quickly recognized as fear. Anyone would think that the look on her sisters face was one of authority or anger. But she knew Jenesis, and she was more than aware of how fear looked on her sister. 

" That's not how we look at it." Jenesis quickly said to her sister. 

" But it's true—"

Jasmine Hammaz was playing a very dangerous game that Jenesis needed to end. Because no one would ever win the game her sister is unknowingly commencing. The capital people have seen the world through their rose tinted lenses their whole life. Trying to put on the districts lenses over their own was impossible, and they would never see correctly.

" Jenesis acknowledges her effort and fight in the speech." Dolla spoke to Jasmine softly but firmly.  " She will acknowledge that they were a worthy opponent that helped aid to her eventual victory. It's nothing to be sad about because your child is being thanked."

Jasmines brows furrowed. 

" Exactly!" Star and Giovanni said at the same time. 

" They aided to her victory and fought with bravery! They brought immense pride to their district by fighting so nobly in the Games! Especially one like your sisters that will go down in history!" Giovanni added. Clearly saying words that he's heard his whole life rather than trying to understand. 

" And if I remember correctly, she initiated the fight with Jenesis at the blood bath! So it's not technically her fault! But it was an act of bravery anyways!"

Jenesis almost chocked. Feeling her heart collapse into her stomach as she snatched her now open fist of out Finnick's embrace.

Jasmine was innocent, and completely clueless—as Jenesis liked to believe. 

Jasmine saw Jenesis, her big sister who raised her as someone that did no wrongs. She saw her as someone she wanted to be as she gets older, and Jenesis was aware with the way she often caught her sister stare at her in admiration she knew she didn't deserve. 

But as she looked at her sister now, her gaze down and her grip on her utensils loose, she could see that her sister was beginning to really see things. 

—Really see the world. The unfairness.

Jenesis saw that Jasmine Hammaz was really beginning to see her for what she truly was. For what she saw herself as. A vicious and cold hearted murderer. 

" I'm going to go to my room." Jasmine said as she rose out of her chair.

" Jassy!" Jenesis called. No longer caring to keep up appearances. 

She heard Finnick call her name, and Sasha questioning what was wrong upon seeing the scene.

Yet all Jenesis could see was Jasmine. Jasmine and her eyes. 

All Jenesis could hear was Jasmine. Jasmine and her feet as she fled to her room.

     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Justice Building was full. The words that were said to her, and the look on her sisters face. For the last 4 districts they stopped at, Jasmine Hammaz had made sure to say goodbye to her sister as she departed off the train. But this time, Jasmine had not said a word to Jenesis.  In fact, she hadn't even stepped out of her room to even wish her farewell. Unknowingly, everyone had filled Jenesis with fresh bullets, and now she had to pretend that she wasn't bleeding. 

" With that being said, please warmly put your hands together to welcome the victor of the 69th Annual Hunger Games. Jenesis Hammaz." Paylor, the Mayor spoke. Wrapping up her speech. 

Jenesis watched as the doors opened and the sound of low hollow claps filled the air.

She clutched the cards in her hand tightly and she took her large steps to the mic. Every eye was burning into her with intensity. Much different to the previous districts like 9 and 10, where they generally seemed uninterested and eager to get back to their day.

The guilt Jenesis was feeling didn't even allow her to give a smile to the mayor like she had for the last 3 districts.  She walked directly to the mic, internally fighting a battle to force herself to continue to keep her head up.  Her eyes scanned the empty faces that held such similar emotion and expressions. 

Jenesis adjusted the mic to her level with a brief glance downwards, before giving the crowd a once over again. She was sure to not look past the crowd, and see the faces of the young girl she speared in the hearts family. The screen behind the audience was so huge, it was physically impossible for Jenesis to ignore the photo with a black jacket on a young girl. 

" Good afternoon, citizens of District 8." Jenesis started with as much false confidence she could muster. " My name is Jenesis Hammaz, the recent crowned victor of the 69th Annual Hunger Games."

A self introduction was necessary to really emphasize victory, and Jenesis wasn't surprised that Sasha included it.

" The glory of the games is inclusive to an honorable 24 tributes every year.  During the games, in order to be crowned the victor you are required to face lots of obstacles. But what separates the victor from their competitors is the way they overcome a fight through the obstacles in the arena."

Suddenly, the confidence in her voice wavered as she saw the faces of most of the crowd curl in disgust.  It was then when she realized what she had just told the grieving people of district 8.

She blinked, looking down at the card with shaky hands.  " Like the other victors before me, I too fought hard in the games in order to overcome my obstacles.  Your distrust 8 tribute was one of them." Jenesis felt herself choke as guilt wrapped around her throat like a vine.
" She was a honorary girl who didn't hesitate to start her journey for the ultimate glory. It is very unfortunate that her fight was cut short, but despite that we will acknowledge the bravery she possessed against me, and I as a victor will continue to acknowledge your female tribute as a honorary opponent. Both tributes, male and female, fought hard and with dignity in the games."

Jenesis finally looked up to get a good look at the crowd of people. Their faces were twisted with pent up anger and frustrations, sorrow for their lost children, and perhaps for the lost girl that stood on the stage—clearly surprised with the words that came out of her own mouth.

But the speech wasn't over until she praised Panem. " Regarding your male tribute, I didn't make direct contact with him, but I will tell you that he sacrificed and put in great ambition during his time in the arena. With that being said, thank you all for welcoming me. As we leave today, please remember that your tributes brought great honour to District 8."

There was one more line on the card.

Jenesis raised her head upon finishing her words to on look the crowd of faces.

Her gaze slipped across where the families stood, but she quickly directed her gaze elsewhere upon seeing full platforms for both tributes.

Say the final words, She thought to herself as she inhaled a breath of air. Panem today, Panem tomorrow, and Panem forever. — and it would all be over. Say it!

Haven't I done enough? Jenesis bitterly thought as she watched a man in the audience place a hand over his mouth to let out a silent sob.

" Thank you."

With those words, Jenesis gave a curt nod and quickly walked off the stage.

She had not praised the capital.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paylor was a nice woman. Jenesis wasn't one to keep track of the mayors of other districts, but she was questioning whether or not Paylor was a new face in the political scene. The woman was young, really young. Couldn't be more than 33. When she had politely asked her about her running as mayor—emphasizing how young she appeared ( for conversation purposes), she had told her that she wasn't exactly mayor. Paylor was filling in as a temporary mayor until district eight finished their official election for mayor. She subtly hinted in her words that the last mayor died—not stating the cause, and she was filling in for the district.

Despite President Snow being the ruler of Panem, the districts needed one of their own to enforce a mutual understanding of law and order. Even though that law was coming from Snow himself.

As Jenesis ate lunch, she couldn't help but notice that everything in district eight was concrete.

There wasn't a single speck of grass on the ground outside. No water or sand. Just straight concrete and tall buildings that stretched on for as far as her eyes would let her.

But Jenesis wasn't complaining. She appreciated the simple and basic sight of the district that she was looking at. Everything was grey and brown, dry and lifeless—similar to how she was currently feeling following her speech. There was no sight that could bring up the mood that had settled on her.

" District eight doesn't have much of a sight to offer." Paylor spoke seeing Jenesis's blank stare on the wide window.

Jenesis peeled her eyes off the stone building in the distance. " It's fine. I like it."

Paylor gave her a small smile, watching as the young girl looked back out to the window.

There was something interesting about Jenesis Hammaz and the way she placed her stare longingly on a far away stone building. Staring as if it was the ocean itself.

Paylor only watched as her mentor, Finnick Odair, placed a thick log of sourdough bread on her plate as he slid her the plate of butter. The girl hadn't said thank you, hadn't smiled, but Odair seemed to catch something she hadn't as he gave her a small smile.

It wasn't until the intimidating girl raised an eyebrow at her did she realize that she had been caught staring.

Paylor could only clear her throat as she became somewhat sheepish. " Those stone building are factories."

" What?"

Paylor took a sip of her water to gather herself. " The buildings you were staring at. They're factories."

So she has been staring at me, Jenesis thought to herself. " Factories of what?"

" Textile!" Sasha joined in upon hearing her question. " District eight is textile. They make the fabrics for the capital!"

Paylor nodded asking. Clearly taken aback by the involvement of the capital woman. " Yes. The factories also produce the fabrics for the other districts."

That seemed to be new information to everyone.

" For all the districts?" Jenesis asked in mild surprise. " If you don't mind me asking, what's the working age?"

Paylor was slightly shocked by the girls show of interest in the topic of district eights economy. 
" Oh I don't mind at all. The working age is 12."

Sasha blinked. " A twelve year old in a factory?"

" There's twelve year olds in the hunger games."

Jenesis wasn't surprised by the quick response of Paylor, and she even saw it coming herself. The capital woman seemed stunned at the response, and for a moment she paused. It seemed like Sasha was realizing that twelve year olds are in the hunger games, and twelve is still a baby.

Twelve was an age that one should not be working at. 

Twelve was not an age one should not be fighting to the death at.

" Oh," was all she could say.

Jenesis took a bite of the buttered bread on her plate following Sasha's silence. " Are the adults and children divided?"

Paylor placed a gaze on the girl, trying to read her.  The cameras were long gone.  District 8 had nothing much to offer in terms of beauty and food to collect footage of unlike district 9 and 10. The capital cameras had took photos and left quickly to wait for the victor at the train station.  With that, Jenesis Hammaz had nothing to fake. She was silent and barely spoke for the past 25 minutes of their lunch. She could easily go back to silence. So was it perhaps genuine interest in district 8's economy that was making her ask these questions?

" The economy for the working population is divided into adult and pre to teenager." Paylor started as she leaned forward. " There are two types of factories. The ones that feed into the capital, and the ones that feed the districts.  It's lots of work, so all three concrete buildings are factories.  All of the brown buildings are tiny homes, tiny shops, and one tiny bread bakery. The kids work at the factories that feed the districts fabrics. It's easier labour with just sewing machines and fabrics. But adults work at the factories that feed the capital. The fabrics are more diverse, so the labor is harder. There's more steps to making silk and jeans then one thinks."

Jenesis wasn't sure if the last part of Paylors words were meant to be shady. 

She had worn her fair share of jeans as of recently, and Finnick was currently adorned in a silk shirt.  While Sasha, she was wearing an outfit mixed with all kinds of fabrics.

If it was shade, Jenesis decided to ignore it.

" What's stopping an adult from working where the kids are?" Jenesis asked. 

" The difference in pay." Paylor answered swiftly. " The factories that feed into the capital pay more. As an adult you need to feed your family right? The district factories don't pay enough in a week to buy two loaves of bread."  

Sasha seemed perplexed at the words she was hearing.  Not only were kids working in factories at 12, but to hear that it barely paid them was shocking. No one noticed how the woman looked down at her clothes with slight shame. A child and adult had made her outfit, and they were barely paid for their work. And what about all the other clothes she had in the capital? On the train? Sasha couldn't even find it in her to respond.

Jenesis didn't say a word in response to the woman. Instead she and Finnick only looked at her as she grew more bitter with each word she said.

The clock ticked loudly, and Jenesis slowly peeled her eyes off of the eating Mayor to look at the grandfather clock.

Lunch was over.

Jenesis expected Sasha to jump up energetically upon the hearing the clock ticking, but to her surprise, the woman was simply staring at the clock. Seeing that, she dropped her buttered bread slowly onto her plate. Scooting out of the chair as she turned to Finnick.

" Well," she started as she stared at him.

Finnick seemed to catch onto Jenesis's look. Sasha hadn't said their outro that excused them from the lunch room, and Finnick was the only other person Jenesis could rely on to do it.

" Lunch was truly lovely." Finnick spoke with a deceiving grin. " Unfortunately, it's come to an end, and we have to get on the train as soon as possible."

Paylor stared at Finnick for a bit, and Jenesis shifted uncomfortably when she realized that Finnick was staring back at her. His grin growing wider to up his façade. But Jenesis knew that he was truly slipping on the inside with Paylor's gaze making things more agonizingly awkward than necessary. 

" Well I don't want to hold you up," she too stood from her chair. " Especially since this lunch is over. It was wonderful meeting you all, and Jenesis.."

The woman's eyes glanced over her before nodding curtly. " I wish you all the best as a new Victor."

Jenesis wasn't sure what was intended from Paylor with her words.

She was more than aware that it wasn't polite or by any means truly nice. It wasn't coming from a place of ignorance, but district eight was poor. They lost more than they have, or could ever win, and their previous conversations proved that district eight was not the district to live in ignorance. Then there was malice. It was very possible that she said it from a place that came from resentment. After all, Jenesis had killed the girl that had once walked in their streets, and worked in their factories.

" Thank you," she settled on. " I'll take all of your best blessings."

Paylor watched as the group of people headed out. The blonde girl walking in the middle as peacekeepers, a bit more than necessary, clustered around each side of them. District eight was grieving, and with the months that have past—it has most likely sizzled down to anger. Paylor knew that anger led people to do crazy things to demand change.

" What an interesting girl," she mumbled to herself as she exited the building.

It was her first time meeting a Victor, and especially with the title of Mayor tucked under her belt. From what she sees on the Capital screen, they all behave the same. They talk the same, smile the same, and even all read their victory speeches the same. The victors to Paylor have always looked like empty shells with bright engineered smiles forever engraved on their faces, and a pride too strong to believe it's real.

She had expected Jenesis Hammaz to be the same. She was from a career district, favored from the start of her games, and had became victor in the span of 11 days.

She was expecting the same engineered smile, and overwhelming pride as she called her to the stage. And Paylor was wrong completely. Jenesis Hammaz had walked on stage with eyes as hollow as ever, no plastic smile that stretched too far into her face.

Just some cards and a girl that seemed to want to be anywhere but where she was.

She had noticed immediately how she seemed to want to close in on herself, and part of her didn't know how to feel. She deserved to feel guilty, right? She had taken away a daughter and a sister, and couldn't even look the family in the eye.

But there was something about the way she hung her head low during lunch. How she let the boy beside her do all the talking as he showed her the various of foods she could eat. Paylor hadn't planned to address her as she eventually had. Only planning to engage in whatever conversation that was started by the obnoxious capital woman, the stylist that had left early, or the male victor.

She didn't plan to speak to the girl who preferred to stare at the depressing buildings of district eight rather than eat their cuisine.

—But she had. And Jenesis Hammaz was not what she expected.

" An interesting girl indeed."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" You're not real." Jenesis mulled to herself as she stared at the ceiling. District eight had left a bad feeling in her stomach that would worsen tenfold as the tour continued. It's a feeling that numbed her of eating dinner, and instead headed straight to bed. Jenesis's mind ached as she began to relive the bloodbath all over again. She vividly recalls being one of the firsts to arrive—getting her spear and attempting to find her ally's. But things hadn't worked too well for her when the female tribute from district eight let out a war cry as she charged at her. Her weapon was raised high as she prepared her strike, and Jenesis recalls the brief brawl before her spear was digging into her heart. Blood gushing. Organs squelching. And then death.

Her mind had begun to crumble all over again when she started to relive the arena, and soon enough—the interaction at the bloodbath wasn't the only thing Jenesis began to see.

" You're not alive," She gasped out as she squeezed her eyes shut. " You're dead! You died! I saw it!"

His eyes were pitch black and leaking with black smudge. Slaters mouth was wide open in a silent scream—whether his rage or fear Jenesis wasn't sure. All she knew was that his mouth was stretched so wide that the corner of his lips were cracking. The black veins traveled all the way up his neck and curled at his forehead, bulging angrily.

" You're not real," sobs wrecked through her body as she spoke. " Why are you still here?! What do you want from me?"

Her questions were fueled with terror and agitation, and they fell on the deaf ears of the body that laid beside her. 

The mouth of Slater was still open and wide as he stared Jenesis down. He was huge compared to her, successfully creating a looming shadow that illuminated darkly on her wall.

Jenesis had accepted with time that she hallucinates. Not too often that she feared she couldn't go outside, but enough to comfort herself to know that she wasn't in true danger.  It happened at least once a week—twice if she had neglected food more than she should've.  Some days the hallucinations were tolerable. With a big gulp and hard blink—Jenesis was able to turn around and force the image out of her brain. She was able to ignore yellow eyed snakes wrapped around her bed stand, the pillars in her house, or the pair of eyes that appeared whenever it got too dark.

But this was something Jenesis couldn't tolerate.

Jenesis was stuck. Glued in place and unable to move as Slater stared at her from beside her.  She couldn't get up, or run to Finnick's room, or even scream out of muscle memory. All she could do was close her eyes tightly and stare up at the ceiling. 

Jenesis felt warm tears begin to slide down her cheek as she fought to keep her eyes close.

" You're not real," she choked as she cried. 
You're dead, and I killed you.

Fear didn't let Jenesis open her eyes to the sight of Slater in her bed, and the punishing emotion didn't allow her to open her eyes when she began to remember the sight of Slater being helplessly lifted to the mouth of the forest beast.

Jenesis wasn't sure how long she spent crying, but she was more than sure she hadn't opened her eyes.

She had shut her eyes tightly. Deciding that for the night, she rather see hell in her dreams than in real life.

—Because if Jenesis couldn't see it, it wasn't real.

Next Chapter ; Dance With The Devil

She speaks.

Okay I've successfully gotten my second official chapter out—since I'm not exactly counting Jenesis Hammaz as a official chapter as the author.  I feel like I wrote it to introduce Jenesis's current state and where her mind is at. Like I had a Jenesis Hammaz chapter last book, and now I have one for Catching Fire Jenesis!

Anywho! I'm so excited for everyone to just read these chapters I'm working on. I only expected this chapter to be a total of 20 thousand, but I went over even after deciding to make District 7's scene in the next chapter...

Speaking of the speeches Jenesis is really out here struggling. Like she's really beating herself up about these families even though she didn't kill their kids.  The fact that she's on stage and their children aren't is enough. Btw it took me a week and a half to write this chapter.

I'm gonna keep my words short else I'm gonna rant, but for real buckle up for the next chapter because that's gonna be something else🌚

Vote, comment, and share!❤️❤️Don't ghost read!

Word count; 23,191