Not even a day and I was already missing her like crazy, not having her with me felt wrong. She has been by my side every day for months, I grew used to her presence, her company. And I know I will see her in just a few hours but I still hate it, especially right now when everything is so fucking messy, and even though I know I can't protect her, or at least not the way Rick can.
She texted me about an hour ago, asking me for an opinion on what to wear, I told her to go with a suit, I have never seen her wearing one but in my opinion, suits exude confidence, and if people think you are confident then maybe you will able to believe it too.
And I knew I made the right choice when she texted me back with just a picture, showing me how she looked, she looked powerful. I wished she had let her hair down, I love her curls but that ponytail also fits her. Elegant and beautiful. To be fair she would look good in everything. She is just perfect.
I barely slept last night, feeling anxious about this whole situation, and as much as I wish I hadn't, I had a drink. Just one, one single glass, I knew I shouldn't have but I needed it. And it did help me with falling asleep at least until seven in the morning when I woke up to the harsh light coming through the blinds I forgot to close. I didn't mind that same light when I woke up with her by my side because I got to see her face, how her beautiful long lashes framed her eyes or how her freckles made different patterns around her skin, but when you are alone and all you see is an empty room it doesn't feel the same.
Rick called a few minutes after she texted, updating me about the situation and our plan. I should meet them at Mia's dad's house around three, then I will drive with her and Tomás, and Rick will follow right behind us. Mia doesn't know about this because we knew it would only make her more nervous but Rick and I put a few more men around just in case. There's another car and some men that would already be around the court building. Not as many as I would like but the business is not at its best moment and we are not only losing money but also men. We already lost a lot when Matteo got arrested, no one wanted to be involved in that mess, and some stayed but after the raid at Empire, we lost even more. Going out of the illegal part of the business meant losing a lot of money, and to some, it stopped being worth it. Just the most loyal ones stayed, and then almost everyone that worked at our clubs our restaurants, the legal part of the business.
"Are you ready, Mr. Russo?" Felix appears at my door.
"Just Carlos, please." Matteo and I have been telling him to call us by our names for years as he is practically family and sometimes he does but others he goes back to Mister. Old habits die hard, I guess. "But yes, I'm ready." There are still a few hours left for the trial but I decided I would go back to the city with spare time just in case. I will wait in the old apartment if I arrive too early. And well obviously I can't drive yet so Felix offered to drive me.
Smoothing the lapels of my suit jacket I give one last look at myself in the mirror. I went with a black suit instead of my characteristic navy blue one, I chose it by instinct and at first I even surprised myself, I'm not known for going out of my comfort zone often but then I remembered Mia's suit was also black and it all made sense. She is always in my mind, and a lot more than I initially thought.
"You look handsome," Felix says politely. He isn't one to give compliments, he is too professional for that so when he says something, you know he means it.
"Thank you, Felix. Could you go get the car ready while I finish up here?"
"Of course." He nods before disappearing out of the room.
Walking towards my dresser I take the Armani perfume I usually wear on special occasions and spray it on my neck and wrists. Matteo was the one who discovered this perfume a few years ago, since then we have both started using it. However, unlike me, he uses more than this one, he is a lot more into fashion and all this stuff than I am but I would say this one is also his signature.
Younger brothers are supposed to copy the older ones, and that was the case when we were younger, now we seem to be doing the opposite. I haven't noticed until recently how I'm slowly gravitating toward his look, my hair is a lot longer than usual, and I have stopped styling it so perfectly and moved into a more carefree style, like Matteo. And I have taken some more of his habits, going to the library, reading... drinking. I'm not proud of that last one.
I wish he was here, he would probably laugh at me and say something like "All my life telling me to stop stealing your shit and copying you for you to copy me now." Then I would call him an asshole and two minutes later we would have moved on to something else completely and act as if nothing had happened. Younger siblings, they drive you crazy but at the end of the day, they are the best thing that could have ever happened to you.
___
"Should we park here on the street or should we park in some parking lot and then walk to their building?" Felix looks at me from the driver's side. There was some traffic so we came directly to Tomás' building since we had no spare time left.
"Park here, just in case. It's closer and the building is right that way." I point to a free spot on the other side of the street.
He nods and starts maneuvering to park, I dread the day I will have to learn how to do this again with a prosthetic. Hopefully, it won't be that hard. When I'm looking behind us and to the side so I can tell him when to stop my phone rings and I'm surprised to see Nathan's name across the screen.
I stare at it, wondering if I should pick up or not, a part of me is still mad at him for leaving me hanging when I needed him most but another part of me understands the reason why he did that and wants to accept the call to find out why he is calling now.
"Not going to take that?" Felix asks a little confused.
"No." I shake my head deciding that it's not worth it and decline the call before putting the phone back into my pocket. But just a few seconds later it starts to vibrate again, and I know it's a text, not a call so I can't help but look.
I have Alessio in custody, someone in my team went through those papers you sent to the office and thought it was worth a try. You have about half an hour until his lawyer gets here. It's now or never.
I had completely forgotten about those papers, I sent them to his office a day before I barged into his house. Since my idea was trying to convince him of helping me more professionally and conventionally but then everything went down and I snapped. Which brought me to do what I did that day.
"Everything okay?" I can feel Felix's eyes studying me.
I don't answer, I just keep staring at the text message, thinking about my options. Alessio could be the answer to everything, he was the last person to be in contact with my father, and he isn't known to be loyal to anyone, he can be bought. Taking information out of him isn't that hard. And this opportunity, I won't get it again, it's truly now or never...
"What time is it?" I finally break the silence, asking even though I could just look at the time on my phone.
"Two fifty-five in the afternoon," Felix says a little confused.
"So I have time, I can go there and then make my way back to court in time," I mutter out loud trying to convince myself. The trial is at four, and the FBI building is just five minutes away from the court.
"Go where?" Now he isn't just confused he sounds worried as if he knew something was wrong even though I haven't answered a single one of his questions.
"Drive me to the FBI building," I tell him unlocking my phone and searching for Rick in my contacts.
"The FBI building? That's at least thirty minutes away from here and it's almost three, you said we were supposed to meet Rick and Mia here."
"Something came up, I will tell Rick we will meet them in court, is pretty close to the FBI building." I send Rick a quick text and then call Nathan.
"Carlos I don't think..."
"Trust me, we will make it, just drive please."
"Now you pick up?" Nathan answers with that characteristic tone of his.
"Save it, I will be there in twenty, don't tell him I'm going and I might need someone to entertain his lawyer, I will need at least half an hour."
"I will see what I can do." He hangs up.
"Drive as fast as you can." I turn to Felix and he reluctantly nods.
___
"Keep the car running, I will be down in less than thirty minutes." I practically jump out of the car, staring at my phone.
3:17
Running -or more like limping- I make my way onto the building. Say that Nathan is waiting for me and after a few calls and very precious lost minutes, they finally let me in. He is already waiting for me in the elevator.
3:23
"I can give you half an hour tops." He pushes the button of the elevator hard.
"I will make it work." I nod trying to recover my breathing. This prosthetic is not for running. "And thank you for this, I really appreciate it," I mutter between pants and he snaps his head at me in shock.
"Never thought I would get a thanks from you." He deadpans but then he smiles, that smug of his but this time is more of pride than of feeling superior. "You are welcome, Russo." He then says sincerely.
Making our way out of the elevator side by side I follow him to a room, similar to the one they put me in back when he arrested me a few weeks ago. He unlocks the door for me and a second I think he is going to get in with me but he stays behind.
"I can stop the lawyer but not for long." He tells me and I nod in understanding getting inside the room.
3:27
"Finally, Marcus, it took you long enough." Alessio practically shouts, his tone the definition of condescending but when he looks up and finds out I'm indeed not Marcus his whole face changes.
"Yeah, amazing lawyer by the way." I smile sitting down in front of him.
"What- what are you doing here?" He asks his hands falling back to his sides from the table.
"Who do you think gave them the information they needed to arrest you?" I smile.
"You are a fucking rat. Good luck explaining this to your business partners, they will cut all connections with you." He says as if I care about any of that anymore.
"I don't give a fuck about that anymore Alessio, the same way no one gives a fuck about you." I may lose all opportunity to do business with the big guys in the future but I wanted out anyway and Alessio isn't that important for someone to put a hit on me.
"I won't tell you shit." He rests himself against the metal chair trying to get his fake badass I fear nothing attitude together.
"You are facing ten years, Ale, and with everything I gave them, even the worst straight out-of-school prosecutor could put you behind bars," I whisper, adding in the nickname as he did that night he drugged me.
And I'm also bluffing, I have no idea how many years he could face or if what I have is enough to put him behind bars but he doesn't know either.
"You are bluffing." He states but I can tell he isn't remotely sure about that.
"Am I? Do you think I didn't investigate you? Come on, you have to be aware that Matteo hated your guts and he never trusted you, not even a little bit, did you think I did? From the first business we did together I have been keeping the receipts, so to say, and I'm out of this world now, I will push you under the bus and I don't give a fuck if I'm going under too." I look directly at him letting him know that I truly don't give a fuck anymore.
For a while, he doesn't say anything he just looks at his hands and for a second I think that maybe he won't say anything but then he speaks.
"What do you want?" He whispers looking back at me.
"The men you sent to attack Matteo, my father asked you to do that, right?" No rodeos, I don't have the time.
3:32
"Why would you think that?" He goes back into his 'I'm superior' façade.
"Don't play with me, I know it was him so tell me how he got in contact with you or I will tell that FBI agent everything he wants to know, might throw in some stuff about the others too, and then spread around the rumor that you got arrested, who do you think they will believe? The rat everyone knows would sell themself for the right amount or the poor man without a leg whose brother is in prison for protecting the business?" Another big ass lie, Matteo would be considered a rat too, he spoke up about Romano but hopefully, he doesn't know that either.
"You are a fucking asshole, same as your brother. I never liked any one of you." He spits out as if cares.
"How did he get in contact with you, last chance Alessio," I warn him wanting to be done with this conversation already.
"Fuck you." He smiles and before I even notice I have stood up and bashed his head into the metal table. The sound of his nose breaking was very noticeable in the empty room and the metallic smell of blood coming out of it meeting my nostrils. "What the fuck?" He coughs trying to stand but I don't let go of his head I keep pushing it hard against the table.
There's no way Nathan hasn't heard us but today he doesn't care.
"How did he contact you? Say it now or rot in a prison with several of your limbs broken." I whisper moving down towards his ear.
"A phone, I received a prepaid phone at my club, then a little later he called. I didn't even know who he was or planned on picking up but I was slightly drunk so I did, then he said that he would give me 50k for ordering some of my men inside to give your brother a beating. It seems like easy money, now please just let go of me, you are going to break my fucking jaw."
Bringing him up by his hair I push him against the chair and look straight into his eyes.
"If I go to your club and ask for the phone, will it be there? Will you tell your men to give it to mine?"
"Yes, just let me call them, I will do it." The blood running down his face doesn't help much at taking him seriously but I do as he says and give him my phone not before looking at the time once more.
3:39
This is taking longer than I expected.
"It's me, some men will go to the club soon, they will ask for a phone, it's the one in the office, the second drawer. No funny business just give it to them." He hands me back the phone to the best of his ability, cuffs aren't comfortable at all.
"If this is some kind of trap, I will find you, and what I will do to you? It won't be pretty, I can guarantee you that much." I snatch my phone away and turn around to leave.
Right when I open the door a very angry-looking man bursts inside.
"Who the fuck are you and why is my client bleeding?" He gets in my way not allowing me to get out.
"I'm the bad cop, now get out of my fucking way." I try to push through but the man doesn't budge.
"Agent Porter, what is this about?" He turns to Nathan and by the look on his face I can tell that he fucking hates my guts but for some reason, he still covers for me.
"We found him like that, and he is just an agent, DEA, they sent him," Nathan explains and I mouth a thank you.
I would have never expected him to save my ass.
"Can I see your badge?" He turns around to meet me once again.
"No," I state taking the opportunity of him giving a step forward to get out from the side.
(An. reading while listening to someone to stay by Vancouver sleep clinic works pretty well)
I don't let him say anything else I walk away without looking back, going towards the elevator and pushing the button so hard I'm surprised I haven't broken my finger. The lift to the lobby feels eternal but I use that time to call some of my men so they can get that phone at Alessio's club and when the doors finally open and I get to the main door I blame myself for not noticing I should have stopped running because the guard stops me and it takes him about five minutes to get in contact with Nathan and allow me to go out. Usually, they will probably let you through without any questions but I'm guessing that practically sprinting my way out of here is a little suspicious.
3:57
I move as fast as I can towards the car, my phone vibrating inside my pocket, and the moment the car door is closed Felix has already started it. It shouldn't take more than five minutes to get to court, I should be there on time.
"Drive as fast as you can," I tell Felix.
3:59
And he does, or at least until he can.
"Keep going, fuck the red light!"
"We will get run over, I can't do that." He looks at me and then at all the cars passing by. There's indeed no way he can keep going now.
"How far are we?"
"I don't know, three minutes?"
"Okay, I will walk."
"Carlos that's not a good idea!" He shouts but I have already gotten out of the car.
4:04
He is right it's not a good idea, my leg hurts like a bitch already and I know that by the end of this, I'm going to have the worst blisters imaginable but I don't care, I have to get to her so I run, or at least I try to.
"Get out of my way! Get out!" I shout at the people walking by and they all stare at me as if I were crazy but even if one does move there's always another in front. This is NY, the streets are always busy. "Okay, fuck this." I move to the road, staying on the side of it, some cars honk at me but I don't stop. Ignoring that anytime now my leg is gonna fail me.
4:08
As I keep on running the best I can with my left leg cramping I finally reach the corner to the street I have to turn right in but first there's a crosswalk.
A crosswalk I figure I completely missed when a car hits me right on my side, sending me rolling a few feet away.
"Oh my god!" I hear a woman's voice scream as I lay down on the pavement staring up at the sky.
"Sir, are you okay?" Now it's a man's voice that's then followed by others.
"Sir? Someone call an ambulance!"
I can listen to everything they are saying, see all the people around me but it's not until I feel someone's hands in me that I snap back into reality. Quickly standing up into a sitting position and making everyone around me except the person who touched me give a step back.
"Sir, you should lie down, we already called an ambulance." An older man says softly trying to get me to lie down.
"I'm fine, don't touch me." I snap looking down at my body to assess the damage. There's no blood or anything at first sight, I just feel sore, my hip and ribs especially, and when I put up my shirt I find what I suspected, my ribs are definitely broken but that still doesn't stop me from standing,g up, and waking away.
"Sir, you can't just leave, you have to wait for the ambulance and the police to arrive." The man from before tries to stop me.
"I said, don't touch me." I turn around pushing him away from me. He finally gives up, mouthing some insults before getting back into his car.
People are still looking at me in shock, whispering to themselves but no one seems to dare to say anything else, they let me walk away freely.
4:25
Turning right where I was supposed to I beg my body to keep going just for a little while longer, I can already see the court building and in just a few more minutes I will reach it. All I need are a few more minutes.
4:32
Breathing through my pain and thanking the adrenaline for getting me this far I finally reach the stairs, and when I'm done convincing myself that I can climb them it's when I find Mia staring directly at me from the top of them. The look on her face hurts more than the broken ribs and everything combined.
"Mia..." I mutter not sure if she can ever hear me.
And after a few seconds of just standing there, she shakes her head and continues her path down the stairs, not even glancing at me once.
"Mia, please just give me a second to explain, I know I fucked up and I'm so sorry but please..." I somehow get my body to run after her. "Please, I'm so sorry," I beg reaching for her arm in one last desperate attempt.
"Let go of me!" Her voice breaks as she shakes her arm away from my touch and I swear I can hear both my soul and my heart breaking into a thousand little pieces.
"Mia..." I whisper looking directly into her eyes.
"I needed you... I needed you, and you weren't there!" She shouts, so loud that everyone around us is suddenly looking our way.
The emotion in her voice, the raw unmistakable pain, her teary eyes, it fucking kills me right there. And I don't know what to say or how to react but to follow her as she walks away.
"Over my dead body." Tomás appears right in front of me, not allowing me to go after her.
"Get out of my way," I mutter moving my arms up to push him as I watch Hunter go after Mia.
"No, don't even dare." Rick stops me, pushing me back himself.
"Rick..." I don't want to fight him but if I have to I will.
"Let her go, you have done enough." His voice is stern and by the look on his face, I can tell that he will also fight me if he has to so I give a step back, not liking my chances and walking back towards the road. Calling for the first taxi that drives me.
"Carlos!" Rick calls my name but I ignore him getting inside the taxi.
"Just drive," I mutter not sure of where the fuck to go and the man nods, going in a straight line.
And when he reaches the intersection is when I see Hunter and Mia inside a car, turning left. And even though I know I have no right to do this, even though I know it might be the biggest mistake ever I do it anyway. "Follow that car," I tell the man.
Author's note
As always if you are here ty for reading and don't forget to vote and comment your thoughts!
Longest chapter ever omg.
Remember, before dropping this book or hating this is a dark romance for a reason, the characters aren't perfect and having mixed feelings about them is exactly what dark romance tries to achieve and what I tried to achieve.
Hating/being mad at Carlos was the idea but don't forget that he isn't himself right now (it's not an justification just an explanation). He fucked up, big time and that's a fact but he is not thinking straight. He would never hurt her on purpose.
With that said I hope you all understand where this is came from and that it makes as much sense to you all as it does to me. So far my plan is working pretty well I would say.
Get ready for the next chapter...
Love you all so much,
Maria