Alan gazed at Fiza's trembling form, feeling a deep sense of responsibility towards her. It felt like they were the only two people in the world, and he was determined to be there for her as a friend. He couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her when she needed someone the most.
"Shahana told me you were struggling," Alan said, his voice gentle and full of concern.
Fiza shook her head vigorously, a mix of emotions playing across her face. She didn't want to burden Alan with her troubles, but at the same time, she felt the weight of her pain becoming unbearable. "You need to talk to Farzana." He continued.
Rumya, relieved that this wasn't about her dating Alan, couldn't help but be curious. "Who is Farzana?" she asked, genuinely interested in understanding the situation.
Alan replied without hesitation, "Her twin." Fiza let out a sound that was a mixture of a sob and a laugh, revealing the complex bond they shared.
"My cousin," Fiza clarified, looking at Alan.
"Fiza, you grew up as sisters, as twins. Things are not as different as you think," Alan reassured her, trying to make her realize that they still had a strong connection despite the recent revelations.
Fiza's gaze lingered on Alan, grateful for his attempt to comfort her. He placed his hand on her cheek affectionately. "Why were you pretending to me as though you were okay? You didn't have to deal with this alone. I would have been there for you," he said earnestly. "I'm calling your mother," he said firmly, concerned about her well-being and knowing that she would feel much better if she patched up with her family.
"No," Fiza protested, but Alan was resolute.
"Your dad then," he said, his determination unwavering. "This is not negotiable. You need them, and they would come to you in an instant if they knew how you were dealing."
Rumya observed their interaction with growing curiosity. She could sense the depth of their connection, and it made her wonder why they weren't in a romantic relationship. They seemed incredibly close, and she couldn't help but sense that Fiza would become a complication or baggage if she pursued a relationship with Alan.
"Rumya, I'm sorry this didn't go as planned. Are you doing okay?" Alan asked, realizing that he needed to focus more on his date. Rumya beamed at him, trying to be understanding. "Yes, I'm good." She noticed that Fiza had barely touched her ice cream, and it had melted. Amused, Rumya thought, "She should learn to share."
Alan stepped away to call Fiza's father. "Hello?" said Alan, "Uncle, Alan here, do you have a minute?" He closed his other ear to block out the sound of traffic. "Is everything okay, mone?"
Fiza's dad asked with concern.
"Actually, uncle, it may be a good idea to visit Fiza," Alan began. There was a moment of silence. "What... what happened?" Fiza's dad sounded worried.
Alan hesitated before explaining, "Uncle, Fiza is not herself. She has been very... very depressed. She's been crying every night in bed. She isn't talking to Farzana and with what she found out about her aunt... It's a lot. She's going through a lot. And I... I just think seeing you and aunty will help her." Another pause followed.
"We'll be there tomorrow. We should have come immediately. She asked for space; we shouldn't have listened," Fiza's dad replied.
"Alan, how do you know she is crying at night?" Her dad asked sternly, his protectiveness now overpowering his worry. Alan chuckled, realizing her dad misunderstood and thought he was in bed with his daughter every night. "Uncle, Shahana told me," Alan clarified. "Thanks, mone, thanks for everything," Fiza's dad expressed his gratitude, sounding relieved, before hanging up.
Alan smiled, still amused by the misunderstanding, as he rejoined Fiza and Rumya. Fiza smiled back at him, and he kissed her head affectionately before sitting next to Rumya.
As he sat with Ramya, Fiza made a silent resolution to let him go. Alan clearly wanted to move on, and she couldn't bear to hold him back; especially when she was such a mess. She looked away sadly, her heart heavy with the pain of letting her dreams go. A single tear escaped her eye. She was so lost in her thoughts, she forgot that Alan and Rumya were still around.
Alan observed Fiza closely, deeply disturbed by her sadness. He missed the days when she was his light, his angel. When her positive energy had made everything seem okay. He would gladly end things with Rumya if that would help Fiza, but hadn't they both agreed to try being friends?
Rumya noticed the turmoil in his eyes and asked softly, "Do you want to stay somewhere with me tonight?" Alan stared into Rumya's warm brown eyes, momentarily tempted. It would be nice to have someone there, to hold and comfort him. Like Fiza did when he was upset.
He closed his eyes and memories of Fiza laughing, dancing, playing basketball, singing, holding him close, kissing him, flashed before him. He remembered her telling him he was everything to her. She was his Fiza, and there was no one else he wanted comfort from.
He opened his eyes to see Rumya still looking at him, her smile tinged with a touch of sadness. "I can't," Alan said, and he couldn't take his eyes off Fiza, who seemed lost in her own thoughts.
Rumya left them reluctantly, feeling like she had intruded on something intimate. She couldn't help but feel a bit ashamed of her offer, worried that Alan might interpret it as her suggesting something more than just companionship. In truth, all she wanted to do was be there for him, but she sensed the depth of his emotions and realized he was going through something she couldn't help with.
Alan and Fiza were undeniably close, and Rumya couldn't shake the feeling of being the third wheel in their dynamic. Alan's connection with Fiza was special, and Rumya knew that for their relationship to become serious, Fiza would need to be cut out of the picture. But it wasn't the right time for that now; the bond between Alan and Fiza was too strong. Rumya was torn between her growing feelings for Alan and her instinct, warning her that he came with baggage.
Once Rumya left, Alan quickly went to Fiza's side. "Hey, princess," he said fondly, bringing a smile to her face. "Look at me. I'm here, okay? I'm staying right here till you want me to leave." He wrapped his arm around her and held her in complete silence until she said she was ready to head back to the hostel.
The next day, Fiza's parents reached Bangalore. Since it was a weekday, Fiza met with them after clinics at their service apartment. "Fiza!" Her mom exclaimed, hugging her. "My baby." She kissed Fiza's cheeks.
"Mamma," Fiza replied. She lay on her mother's lap, and her mother rubbed her back, just like she did when Fiza had been a little kid. "Fiza, pappa and I are as much your parents today as we were before you found out about Fiza ammai," her mom said reassuringly. "We love you so much." Fiza cried onto her mother's lap.
"Fiza?" Another voice chimed in. Fiza looked up quickly and saw Farzana. She didn't have the strength to fight and simply lay there on her mother's lap as Farzana kneeled on the floor and hugged her. "I love you, Fiza. You are my sister, genetic or otherwise. You are my best friend," Farzana said affectionately.
Their father watched them, now joining in the scene. "Fiza, don't doubt our love for you. Have we ever given you a reason to believe we love you any differently from Farzana?" he asked.
Farzana looked at her father. For the first time, she realized that it wasn't her fault that her parents behaved differently with Fiza. They had always been overcompensating. She was their real daughter.
"Fiza, I need to talk to you alone," said Farzana. Fiza reluctantly left the comfort of her mother's lap and joined Farzana in her room.
"I'm sorry. I was being a brat. I didn't know any of this," Farzana said remorsefully. "I just didn't understand why you were named after Fiza ammai and not me. I didn't understand why you were promised to Fahad and not me, why you were protected more than I was. I just thought I was never good enough. That they didn't... love me." Fiza opened her mouth to interrupt, but Farzana gestured for her to wait.
"When Fahad told his father about us, just before our Thekkady trip, his father told pappa that Fahad was interested in marrying me. He literally begged him to let Fahad marry me instead of you. But pappa said no. I didn't know the context. I thought he didn't think I was good enough or something." Farzana was crying now.
"I just wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I could see pappa agreeing to you marrying Alan because you wanted to. But not letting me marry Fahad because he thought you deserved him more." Fiza understood the depth of hurt Farzana must have felt. To have believed she was just an afterthought, Fiza's shadow. Fiza hugged her, and they both cried.
Fiza missed college the next day, and Alan came to the apartment to bring her his notes. Her father opened the door for him, and Alan took a seat opposite to her, smiling. "I actually sat on the first row today," he said with a laugh, warming Fiza's heart. "Even the professors were surprised. Anyways, here are all the notes from today. Only Dr. Mehta Rai let me borrow her slides," he said, showing her a flash drive. "Do you want me to go over them with you?" he asked, trying to do for her what she had done for him countless times. Fiza smiled, her eyes puffy but her face no longer strained.
"I don't think I'll study today. I need a break," she said, surprising him. "You have your guitar!" she exclaimed happily.
"Yes, I wanted to play a song for you," Alan replied.
"Let's hear it!" Farzana said, joining them. Alan looked at Fiza as if asking for permission to talk to Farzana, and they both laughed. "We made up," said Fiza said beaming.
"Look around you, Fiza. Everything is the same as it was a couple of months ago. This room is full of people who love you," Alan said earnestly. Fiza smiled and said meaningfully. "I love everyone in this room too." She noticed her father, who was sitting in a chair in the common area, pretending to be on the phone, roll his eyes.
Alan pulled out his guitar and sang "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5.
Tap on my window, knock on my door, I
Want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
Doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You come any time you want, yeah
I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay a while
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
"What if she wants to stay forever?" Fiza asked softly. Alan chuckled, "Then she can stay forever. Best friends for life." He was dating Rumya now, and he and Fiza had agreed to be friends. He had to stick to that decision. Fiza gave him a half-smile.
"How are things between you and Rumya? I hope the scene I caused yesterday didn't cause any damage," she said apologetically.
"Who is Rumya?" asked Farzana curiously.
"His girlfriend," Fiza replied immediately.
"She's not," said Alan, clarifying the misunderstanding. "We are just dating. It's not the same."
Farzana looked at their father and pulled Fiza into the bedroom. Alan followed, and they shut the door. Farzana laughed. "Dad's probably freaking out," she said alluding to his possible reaction to his two girls being with Alan behind closed doors after all the accusations during the previous trip.
Then she turned to face Alan. "You have a girlfriend now?" she asked him with narrowed eyes.
"Farzana, let it go," warned Fiza, not wanting her sister to interfere. "I'm just dating someone," Alan explained.
"How can you do that?" asked Farzana, knowing how deeply her sister was in love with Alan. She wondered guiltily if she was the reason behind their fallout. Alan remained silent, unsure of what to say.
"Well, I think that was selfish of you. You're doing that while she thought she had lost everything," Farzana said, shaking her head. "You don't deserve her affection. You are selfish, unkind, and really just a waste of space."
Alan sat down, feeling confused and hurt by Farzana's words. No, this couldn't be true. He had changed, hadn't he? He had put Fiza first, always. Was he still the person Aarthy had once convinced him he had been? He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and let it out slowly.
Suddenly, he felt a familiar touch. It was Fiza. She was by his side, rubbing his arm. He wrapped his arm around her, and she nestled against his chest. "You are always looking out for me, you need to take care of yourself too. I get it." Fiza whispered, comforting him.
He hugged her tightly. He didn't want anyone else. He wanted her. He wanted to be with her. She was saving him again, while he he had failed her. He kissed her head, feeling a mix of emotions.
Farzana interrupted, "Fiza, he has a girlfriend. What are you doing?" Her hands were now on her hips, and she stood tall over them.
"I'll call it off with her," Alan said, showing his willingness to do whatever it took to make Fiza happy.
Fiza pulled away, realizing that Farzana was right. He had moved on. Fiza was certain he loved her, but not romantically. If he loved her the way she loved him, he wouldn't be dating someone else. She shook her head. "No, she makes you happy. I'm not going to get in the way of your happiness."
That night, in the depths of sleep, Alan's mind was transported to a world where Fiza and he were free to express their love without hesitation.
It was a romantic dream, and everything felt vivid and alive. It was a glimpse of a future where they could be together without any obstacles or uncertainties. Alan cupped Fiza's face in his hands and gently brushed his lips against hers. The kiss was soft and tender, igniting a fire within their hearts.
As they pulled away, their eyes met again, conveying a thousand unspoken feelings. And even as the dream faded with the rising sun, the memory of that magical night lingered in Alan's heart, filling him with hope and determination to make their love a reality.
As the days passed, Alan found it increasingly difficult to get Fiza out of his mind. Thoughts about her consumed his day and at night, his dreams were far from platonic, and he knew he couldn't ignore his feelings any longer. He had to break things off with Rumya. Farzana's words echoed in his mind, and he realized how thoughtless he had been to pursue a new relationship while things were still so raw with Fiza.
That Sunday, when Alan met Rumya at church, he knew he had to have an honest conversation with her. "I was expecting this," Rumya said, her voice tinged with sadness. "You love her, don't you? That girl, Fiza." Alan evaded the question.
"I don't want to hurt you, but I can't pretend to feel something I don't," he said gently, hoping she would understand.
Rumya looked surprised but appreciated his honesty. "I understand," she replied, her voice trembling slightly. "I don't want to be with someone who's not fully committed to me either."
Alan reached out and held her hand gently. "I'm truly sorry, Rumya. I enjoyed hanging out with you. You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart, and right now, I can't be that person. I hope you find someone who will love and cherish you the way you deserve."
They sat in silence for a moment, both processing the situation. "I hope we can still be friends," Rumya said softly.
"Of course!" Alan replied, relieved that she was open to maintaining their friendship. He didn't want to lose her entirely from his life.
Alan texted Fiza when he got home to share the news. "I broke things off with Rumya."
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Author's note
What do you do when you are stuck loving someone you can't be in a relationship with? When you can't let go?
Please vote ⭐️ if you are enjoying this story.
Check out my cover of She will be loved.
❤️ Faiza