VOTE/COMMENT/LIKE/TWEET
ENJOY!!!!!
“Where the hell is Jay?” Carter asked himself as he stood up and looked at the time.
“He will be here Carter, calm down,” I suggested as I sat on the couch waiting patiently.
“I just don’t want you to be here when Ariel get’s here,” he muttered. Today was the day that Carter planned on officially breaking up with Ariel. He didn’t want me around because he didn’t want things to get out of hand or anything to turn violent. I for one couldn’t be more happier since after today I would get to call Carter mine. I wouldn’t feel bad anymore because he had a girlfriend. I wouldn’t be the other woman and I would no longer have to worry about Ariel’s smart remarks. A knock sounded on the door and when the door was opened Carter was relieved to know it was Jay.
“Where the hell you been man?” He asked in a panicked tone. He really needed to get his panties out of a bunch.
“Dude, calm down. I’m here, ain't I?” He rolled his eyes at Carter and let out an exaggerated breath. “You ready Lizzie?”
“Yup,” I said popping the p as I bounced off the couch and went to stand next to Jay.
“Have fun!” Jay said. “Make sure you got me and 911 on speed dial,” he muttered before walking out the door and closing it behind him.
I laughed. “You are such a loser.” I told him.
“What,” he asked shocked. “Whatever. I don’t know what you would do without me.”
“Oh whatever Jay! So what are our plans for the day?”
“I don’t know. It shouldn’t take that long for him to say ‘Hey, we’re over', right?” I nodded my head. “So let’s go see a movie and then grab something to eat. That should give him more than enough time.”
“Okay,” I said agreeing before heading to his car.
I walked up the neon steps that lead into the restaurant. It was some burger joint that was supposed to mimic the 50’s era, from their jukebox music to the waiters on roller skates. We approached the hostess who was standing behind a podium.
“Just two?” she questioned.
“Yea,” Jay answered. The hostess led us to a booth in the corner that had a picture of Elvis right beside it. I slid in to the fiery red booths and Jay sat opposite of me. We ordered our drinks and then silently looked over the menus.
“So how is everything going with the withdrawals and stuff?”
“Good, it’s getting better. They don’t come as frequently as they previously did.” Jay was always someone that I felt like I could talk to. When he put all the bullshit aside, we could really engage in some informative conversations and we ended up learning a lot about each other.
“Good, do you know when you plan on going back to school?”
“Yea, I want to start soon,” I told him. “So how is everything with you and Jenny going?” The waitress came back to the table and took our orders and I noticed that she showed interest in Jay.
“Great!” he said with a smile plastered across his face. Aw, he was so cute. “She asked her ex to move out. Her ex isn’t too happy but hell, he can go fuck himself and get over it. He wants her to think about it, so she said she would and she kind of wants us to let things blow over first but, Jenny is mine now and I don’t plan on letting her go again.”
I laughed at his possessiveness. The waiter came back and asked us-- well, more like asked Jay if he wanted anything. Jay laughed at the flirtatious moves. I was nothing but glad when she left the table. She came back minutes later with our food. The aroma filled my nostrils causing my mouth to water. Gosh, I was hungry.
“Do you need anything else,” the waiter asked standing right next to Jay. It was obvious that she wasn’t talking to me but I answered. She was just too overbearing.
“I need for you to stop flirting with my boyfriend,” I told her. She looked at me and gave me a disgusting look before walking away.
“What the hell was that?” Jay asked.
“What are you talking about?” I asked him as I popped some of the spaghetti into my mouth.
“You’re ruining my game.”
“What? Jay, you got no game and I was doing you a favor. You are with Jenny now!“
“Jenny doesn’t mind if I test the waters,” he claimed.
“What? How can you say that? Jenny broke off a wedding engagement for you. Trust me, she will definitely mind if you try to test the waters. By the way, you better be ready to tie the knot because she was on her way to getting married. She’s going to expect you to propose to her within the next year.”
“And how do you know all this?”
“I just know things.”
“Yea, whatever,“ he muttered before eating some more of his food. We finished up and headed back to Carter’s apartment and for some reason I was super nervous. I had the butterflies in my stomach and they just would not go away.
“Thanks for hanging out with me Jay,” I told him while hugging him sideways.
“No problem. I’m here whenever you need me." He said giving me a wink and his winning smile.
“Aw . . . you are too sweet,” I said giving him another hug.
He laughed. “Okay, okay, enough with the gushy stuff.” He opened the front door.
“Do you ever knock,” I asked him
“Nope, it’s Carter,” he said as we entered the house. I closed the door behind me and walked into the living room. I swear my heart dropped and that there was a respite in time. I could feel Jay’s eyes on me and I knew that he was thinking the same thing I was thinking and he was probably waiting for me to explode in tears or anger who knew? There had to be some sort of explanation though.
I walked further into the living room where Carter and Ariel sat watching some movie. Her head was propped against his chest and Carter’s arms were wrapped around her. Carter glanced at me giving me an apologetic look. So then this was what it looked like. He didn’t break up with her. He didn’t fucking break up with her. Had he even really ever planned to break up with her? Was he just fooling around with me? No, he wouldn’t. It was Carter who we were talking about, he wouldn’t do that . . . would he? Realization smacked me in the face. I was so stupid! The evidence was right in front of me and that was exactly what he had done. He had lied to me on more than one occasion telling that he would break up with her, that he was in love with me. It was all bullshit and I was stupid enough to believe every single word. I knew there was a reason why I shouldn’t have said those three words, which I’m so glad now that I had trusted my first instinct instead of giving in and telling him what he wanted to hear.
It then all crashed down on me all of a sudden. My heart felt like it had been smashed into pieces and I just wanted to scream at him, but I wouldn’t. It wasn’t necessary, not at this moment anyways. I ran a trembling hand through my hair as I willed myself to not let the tears come.
“Lizzie,” Jay said my name sympathetically. I didn’t need sympathy nor did I want it.
“I’m kind of tired,” I told him. “I think I’m going to turn in early. I had fun today though, thanks for spending it with me,” I said holding in my composure. I quickly made my way to the room I was staying in. I went to close the door, but Jay was already there holding the door open.
“Are you okay,” he asked as he closed the door behind him.
“I’m fine. We were just having a good time. It was just sex,” I told him. He, along with me, did not believe it. We both knew that I was in love with Carter.
“Come on Lizzie, you know you can talk to me.”
“Yea, I know, I’m just tired right now.”
He sighed. “Alright! Call me if you need anything.”
“Yea, will do. See you later,” I told him. Jay walked out the door and a few minutes later I heard the front door slam close.
I climbed into bed and before I knew it the tears were just pouring from my eyes uncontrollably. Gosh, this was the first true heartbreak I had really ever experienced and it was unexplainable. Numerous emotions shot through my body. This only proved one thing, that I really wasn’t meant to be with Carter. My choice in leaving him all those years ago was the right choice. I should have never agreed to stay with him or kept in any type of contact because, like I knew from the beginning, in the end, one of us was going to end up hurt. That someone was me.
I awakened and daylight had not broken through the darkness yet. I slowly made my way out of the bed careful not to run or bump into anything due to my lack of sight. I knew already that I probably looked like crap. I could feel the swollen bumps that rested under my eyes and the stiffness in my jaw. I turned on the light and sighed as I flopped down in the middle of the floor. My life had always been fucked up, so why would it change now?
I felt so stupid for falling for Carter when I knew what the results would be. I knew the ending and I knew that It wouldn’t be pretty.
I also knew that I didn’t belong here anymore. I couldn’t stay here when I knew that I was in love with Carter and he didn’t feel the same way. Yea, he had said that he was but it was all bullshit and I knew that now. I chuckled at myself. I just couldn’t get over how stupid I had been.
I began to take all my clothes from the hangers and fold them up into nice stacks. I would put them all in trash bags when I was finished. Tears slowly cascaded down my cheeks as I continued to fold the clothes. I had no clue where I was going to go but it was evident that I could not stay here. I inhaled a deep breath trying to calm myself down, but the hurt and pain still resided in my chest.
I heard a knock sound off at the door. My breath caught in my throat. It was no one other than Carter. I mean it wasn’t even dawn yet so it couldn’t be Jay or anybody visiting and I was damn sure that it wasn’t Ariel. Maybe if I was just super quiet he would leave me alone and think that I was still asleep.
“Lizzie,” I heard his voice call out. Just hearing his voice made me realize how upset and angry I was at him, but it also made me realize how head over heels I was for him.“Lizzie, please,” he said almost inaudible. I didn’t want to talk to him. I couldn’t talk to him. “Lizzie the light’s on so I know you are awake.” I knew that no matter if I answered or not that he was going to come in. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes, hopefully he couldn’t see the tracks that they had left. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to make myself look somewhat presentable. I heard the door knob being twisted. Here we go!
“Lizzie?” He came into the room. I said nothing I just kept folding the clothes that lay next to me. “What are you doing?”
“Packing,”
“You don’t have t—“
“Yes, I do.”
“Lizzie, I’m so sorry! I—“
“Don’t worry about it Carter, I get it!” I said my voice somewhat filled with animosity.
“Will you look at me?”
“I can’t.” I replied honestly. I was trying to keep the tears from pouring and I knew that looking at Carter’s face would cause them to spill over and I didn’t want to show that weakness.
“Please, I really am sorry” he said “I kn—“
“You should just leave Carter. I will be out of your hair in the meantime and soon you won’t have to worry about me, you can just forget we ever met.”
“I can’t just forget. I’m in l—“
“Don’t say it because it’s obvious that you don’t mean it,” I said finally looking up at him. “You forgot about me while you were cuddling on the couch with your fiancé so you can forget about me now,” I said raising my voice.
“I know you're mad but—“
“Why are you still here? You got what you wanted, which was sex ,now can you just leave,” I said looking back down.
“Lizzie,” he said placing his hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t touch me!” I spat shrinking away from his touch.
“Don’t be like that! Please don’t be like that.”
“Be like what? How would you expect me to be?” I stood up and faced him squarely.
“Liz—“
“Because right now I feel like I have the right to act in whatever manner I choose to!”
“Lizzie, lower your voice,” he stated.
“That’s all you have to say Carter? ‘Lizzie, lower your voice’,” I said mimicking him. “Un-fucking-believable. Why? You still care about what she thinks, but I don’t get why?” I chuckled out of frustration. I had to show some type of emotion and it was either laugh or cry and I couldn’t show him that I was weak. “Don’t answer that! It was a dumb question. I was so stupid to believe you. I should have known in actuality that I was just sex. I mean, who am I kidding? I’m just some worthless drug addict who fucks guys for money and more drugs. I was just a stepping stone in your past. Why would you go for me when you had Ariel? She had everything together. I don’t and I get that.” He stared at me for a while and I had to break the connection by glancing way. “I would appreciate if you would leave so this would go so much quicker.”
“I’m not going to let you leave Lizzie, no matter what you think you aren’t worthless and I do care about you. None of the stuff you’re saying is true and you know it!”
I rolled my eyes and turned away from him and went back to folding clothes. “Bye Carter!” I said trying to make him get the point that I want him gone. I heard him groan and then I heard the door open and close. I went and turned off the lights crawling back into bed and once again cried myself back to sleep.