This one started out as just a cute little thing, and then I got writing and went "you know what? Angst" and that's where it is. I do know that I've done a similar idea already, but hey, it's a good concept.
TW: U!Patton, mentions of not eating, verbal abuse, Remus being Remus,
Logan:
I looked over the notes I had written over the past few weeks. Everything I noticed about myself. After a minute, I wrote something else on the page. None of what I wrote down made sense to me. They weren't logical and I couldn't figure it out. And that was not normal for me. I could figure things out right away, even the illogical stuff, even if those normally took longer.
I sighed and shut the notebook. I knew the next step was to go to someone and see if they could help me figure it out. I closed my eyes and tried to think of who would be best to go to. Virgil seemed to be the one who popped up in my notes the most, so going to him doesn't seem like a good idea. Roman is too nosy and would probably try to do something drastic or dramatic. Janus and Remus are out of the questions because, well because they could do something stupid. So that leaves Patton. I guess he would be the best to help me figure things out.
I decided to get it over with, before he made dinner and watched a movie with everyone. I grab my notes and quickly walk to Patton's room. I do a quick knock and wait for him to answer. It seems like forever for him to open the door, but he finally does.
"Yes? Oh hi Logie! What can I do for ya?" He says opening the door.
"I require some..." I say, pausing for a second as I try to figure out what to say, "help with something."
"Sure! Come in." He says, holding the door open for me. I walk inside and take a seat on one of the lounge chairs he has set up in his room for when others visit. I nervously tap my notebook, the effects of the room getting to me, probably because of what has been happening the past few weeks.
"What can I help you with?" He says sitting next to me.
"Well...I have noticed some things that has been going on the past few weeks and I was wondering if you could help?" I say, adjusting my glasses.
"Of course! What have you've noticed?" He asks me, taking my hand to try and calm me.
"Well...when I get close to someone, I get a weird...feeling?...and I just want to be around them and I...feel?...happy..." I say trying to sort out my thoughts, even though it became harder when Patton started to squeeze my hand for 'support'.
"It sounds like you have a crush on someone Logie!" Patton says excitedly, "Can I ask who the person is? Is it someone in this room?"
I stare at him, processing what he just said. I have a 'crush' on someone? Does that mean I have feelings other then the main emotions like happiness, anger, and sadness. I suddenly felt very anxious, what if something bad happened to Thomas because of this. I manage to say, "Uh...y-yeah?"
"So you like me too Logie!?!" Patton practically yells.
I suddenly realize what I said. I don't want him to get sad because I don't like him back. I am pulled out of my thoughts when he pulls me into a kiss. Startled, I pull back and immediately regret it. He looks at me with hurt eyes, the kind of look he gets when he sees someone kick a puppy.
"S-sorry, I uhh it's just...I was startled by that." I stutter out trying to make him feel better.
"Oh, that's okay Logan. I get it, you're not use to affection. I'll help teach you how to understand and accept it. First rule, you don't pull away from someone when they give you a hug or kiss." He says, pulling me into a hug.
I awkwardly hug back and nod. I never was big on hugs, I felt awkward and uncomfortable but Patton said not to pull away so I had to endure it. After the longest minute of my life, Patton lets me go. I go to move a bit away from him, when he grabs my hand.
"See that wasn't so bad was it Logie?" He smiles at me.
"...no I guess not..." I say quietly. There was too much at once and all I wanted to do was go back to my room and hide for the rest of the day.
"You have to speak up Logan, I can't understand you if you mumble. That's the next rule, you have to speak clearly, especially to people you are in a relationship with. It's rude and Logic is suppose to speak clearly all the time." He says putting a hand on my cheek and forcing me to look at him.
I flinch a bit when he mentions my role, before saying, "Right of course Patton"
Time Skip
I wake up the next morning, feeling like I'm being suffocated. After a minute of panic, I realize I'm being hugged. Another minute passes before I remember Patton slept with me last night, despite my protests. He said 'it's what couples do'. I agreed because I didn't want to argue. I was too tired and at least it was in my room and not his.
I try for a minute to get out of his grip but give up when I realize it just gets stronger and doesn't let up at all. I grab my glasses as I can reach them, then look for something I can do while he sleeps. I grab a book in reach and start reading, hoping he wakes up soon.
Almost two hours later, he finally wakes up. I try to get up when his arms move away, but am stopped when they quickly come back and I can feel his face in my back. I quietly say, "Patton, I need to get up."
He smacks the back of my head before saying, "What did I tell you about talking clearly?"
I wince and say louder then before, "I'm sorry Patton. I just didn't want to be too loud as you just woke up."
"I told you how you're suppose to act in a relationship. And you should know this as Logic. I mean, as Logic, you don't understand emotions and that's why you need me. I'm surprised you even have emotions. But that's okay with me! That means you like me back" He says, finally letting me go.
I stand up quickly and say "I'm going to shower."
I head to the bathroom attached to my room and lock the door. I slowly slide to the floor and lean against the door to make sure he can't get in. I take deep breaths as I try to stop the tears threatening to spill. I hear him leave after a bit and I finally let the tears fall. I don't understand why he said that? Why would he say I shouldn't have emotions? Why does he only refer to me as logic when he's mad at me? Is that all I am?
I finally muster up the will power to take a quick shower then get ready for the day. I check in the mirror and notice I look like I've been crying, so I put on some concealer to hide it. I leave my room and head to the kitchen, seeing almost everyone is there already. The only one who isn't is Virgil, who tends to sleep late. I make my way to my spot, when Patton suddenly pulls me into a kiss. I'm startled, but I don't pull away this time. After a minute he breaks free and smiles at me. I manage a small smile back.
He then turns to everyone and states, "Logan and I are dating!"
Everyone congratulates us even Virgil, who had walked in when we kissed. I push away my sadness when Virgil doesn't look at me. Patton, noticing my gaze, pulls me in for another kiss. This time I do pull away, not wanting to kiss him again. It felt so wrong, especially with everyone watching. He doesn't say anything and lets me sit down.
I try to enjoy my breakfast, but I can't when all I can think about is how Patton seems to be glaring at me and how hurt Virgil looked when Patton made that announcement. I end up finishing last, as those thoughts make it hard to focus. Everyone has already left, except for Virgil. Patton is in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess from making breakfast, Roman and Remus are arguing about something in the living room, and Janus is sitting and listening to them.
"So..." Virgil says, breaking me out of my thoughts.
"Yes?" I ask, looking over at him.
"When did this happen?" He asks, messing with his sleeves, pulling them over his hands.
"Oh...uh last night?" I say, then reprimand myself in my head for not speaking clearly.
"I'm happy for you two." He says getting up. He quickly leaves and goes to his room.
I watch him go before standing up and taking my plate and utensils to the kitchen. I am immediately met by an angry Patton. He just holds out his hand for my stuff. I hand it to him and go to leave the room.
"Go to your room Logan. I will be there in a bit" He says in a quiet voice. The kind of voice a parent uses when they're mad but you're in a store.
I nod before heading to my room. Before I get to the stairs, Roman and Remus look at me. They then look at each other before Roman says, "Logan! I need you to solve an issue."
"Yeah! Tell Roman he's wrong." Remus says, swinging his mace at Roman. Roman miraculously dodges it.
"I'm sorry I can't, I have work to do." I lie. They both pout a second before going back to arguing. I head upstairs, noticing the look Janus gave me. I quickly go to my room, cursing at myself. I forgot Janus was in the room. Maybe he'd think I was just tired and didn't want to tell anyone.
Time skip
I sit in my room for a while. I thought he would be up in a few minutes, but when laughter comes up from downstairs, I know he won't be here any time soon. I decide to get my work finished, and end up finishing it in record time. I then go online and do some research on my 'feelings'. Before I can come to a conclusion, my door opens. I quickly hide my notes, then turn to look at who opened my door, even though I knew who it was, as there was no knock.
Patton stood in the doorway looking at me for a minute before walking in and closing the door behind him. I watch him continue to look at me while going to one of the chairs in my room. He stays quiet as he moves the chair so it's right in front of me, then he sits down. While he was doing this, I nervously moved things on my desk so it was more organized, still keeping an eye on him.
After a minute of silence and him staring at me, he clears his throat before saying, "Do you know why you were sent to your room?"
I take a deep breath before saying, "I pulled away when you kissed me."
"Correct. And what did I tell you was suppose to happen when people hug or kiss you?"
"Not to pull away."
"Good job Logan. Now you will have to spend the rest of the day in your room since you disobeyed my rules. If you leave, you will get another punishment." He says standing up, "Oh, and stop fidgeting with things when people talk to you. It's rude."
He doesn't give me a chance to respond before walking out. I spend the rest of the day in my room, going between reading and doing research on things. He doesn't come back at all and I do miss dinner, but I don't mind, I've gone a few days without eating when I got too wrapped up in food and no one bothered to check in on me.
I end up falling asleep earlier than normal, but wake up when someone walks in. I pretend to still be asleep as I watch them get close to the bed. I hear a sigh and someone takes my glasses off and they become a blurry shape. The shape then covers me up and leaves the room. I soon fall back asleep after that.
The next morning, I decide it's better to wait for Patton to get me, so I look over my notes from yesterday. I found out that I don't like Patton in the romantic sense, like he does for me. I also figured out that doing things, like hugging or kissing, make me uncomfortable if I don't allow it to happen. If I consent to it, I think I possibly could like it. I have also come to realize that the feelings I have, while not towards Patton, they are towards Virgil.
While I was looking at my notes, and writing my findings down, my door opened. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize anyone was in my room until I heard, "Logie whatcha workin on?"
I jump then quickly try to hide my notes while saying, "O-oh, noth-nothing."
Patton grabs my notes and quickly reads them over. He then walks over to the door and shuts it. I watch him, scared. I knew he wouldn't like what I wrote. I should've kept an eye on the door. I start to tap my fingers against the palm of my hand while the thoughts swirl in my head.
"Logan, I know you think you like Virgil, but you don't." Patton says still looking at the papers.
"Bu-but I..." I stutter out as I realize it's getting harder to breathe.
"No!" He yells, taking a step towards me, "You. Don't. Like. Him. You like me. You feel nothing for him."
I struggle to breathe even more as he gets closer. I try to move back, but just end up sliding out of my chair and hitting my head on my desk. Soon he's towering over me as I start to cry and hard and my breathing becomes really sporadic. I can't even here what he's saying anymore.
Suddenly, he's pulled away by someone. With his looming shadow away, I start to breathe slightly easier, but I still struggle to get a good breath and stop crying. I see Virgil crouch in front of me and ask if he can touch me. I shake my head after a minute.
"That's okay Logan, can you take a very deep breath in?" Virgil says.
I nod and try and take a deep breath. After a few attempts, I manage to do so. Virgil walks me through several more exercises until I finally calm down. After a bit, he finally says, "Lo, I need to know what happened."
I wipe my eyes and say quietly, "H-he got mad a-at me for something I wro-wrote."
"I'm so sorry Lo. He won't do that again I promise." He says.
I just nod and look at the ground for a bit. I finally get the courage to ask, "Can I have a hug?"
Virgil nods and slowly hugs me, not squeezing tight like Patton did, instead giving me room to let go. I hug back and enjoy being close to him for a bit. Finally I pull away and look at him. He smiles at me and I smile back, before getting a random burst of courage I ask, "Can I kiss you?"
Virgil smiles even more and nods. We gently kiss each other. It was the best feeling in the world. It made the rest of the world fade away, all the worries, all the stress just gone. When we split apart we both just look into each others eyes. Eventually, we moved off the floor and onto my bed where we cuddled, not wanting to ever let go of each other.
I did not think going into this it would be this long. I hope you all enjoyed it.
Word Count: 2676