KYLE
cartman????
KYLE
CARTMAN?
****he starts getting worried, thoughts racing. until all the sudden he feels a hand on his shoulder, terrified he turns around.
CARTMAN
HAHAHAHAHAAHAH U SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR DUMBASS FACE!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHHAS
KYLE
SHUT THE FUCK UP CARTMAN!!!! THIS ISN'T SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT!!!!
****cut to everyone upstairs
STAN
here they go again.
****cut back
CARTMAN
well i'm sorry kyle i was just trying to lighten the fucking mood, remember what i told you.... i'm scared... deep down....
KYLE
..........whatever
KYLE
just.... look.. everyone is hungry.. no one wants to cook. you do it.
KYLE
....and cook something vegan for gregory and wendy.
CARTMAN
it's seems like you're only making me cook food because i'm fat.... well that's fat-phobic kyle and i'll cancel you on twitter.
KYLE
oh here we fucking go.
KYLE
just get your fatass up there and cook us breakfast.
****out of fucking nowhere pc principal appears
PC PRINCIPAL
wow..... just wow...... i thought you were better than this kyle.
CARTMAN
HAHAHAHAHAHA DUMB JEW!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
KYLE
but.....
PC PRINCIPAL
BRO!! JUST BECAUSE ERIC OVER HERE IS FAT DOESN'T MEAN HE IS OBSESSED WITH FOOD NOR IS OBLIGATED TO MAKE YOU FOOD. THAT IS A VERY. VERY!! FAT-PHOBIC STATEMENT FROM YOU AND I DO NOT TOLERATE THAT. EVER! BRO!!
KYLE
b-but.... he literally just called me a dumb jew???????
PC PRINCIPAL
...
PC PRINCIPAL
so you're saying just because someone is racist, antisemitic, sexist, and annoying means that you can FAT SHAME THEM!!!
KYLE
uh... kinda
****pc principal slaps kyle
PC PRINCIPAL
that is for all the fat people in the world. brah.... how'd it feel!!! don't ever do that shit again you hear me!!!!!!!!!
****pc principal crosses his arms and walks away backwards disappearing into the darkness of the basement
CARTMAN
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
KYLE
damn... we literally graduated like 3 years ago what the hell is he still doing hanging around us.....
KYLE
well whatever....
KYLE
i'll just cook for everyone, if you're going to be such a little bitch about it.
****kyle starts walking up the stairs to leave until cartman grabs his wrist, prompting him to turn around.
CARTMAN
sorry kyle. i'm seriously.
KYLE
you're going to cook?
CARTMAN
no. we're going to cook!
CARTMAN
i'm giving you the one in a lifetime experience to cook with me. take it jew. you won't regret it.
KYLE
....
CARTMAN
i'm like a god at cooking. remember cartman burger?
KYLE
that-
KYLE
..........whatever fatass, just let go of my wrist.
****cartman lets go of his wrist and they both walk up the stairs and get to cooking breakfast. halfway through the breakfast cooking, gregory walks into the kitchen, he looks at the pan on the stove.
GREGORY
hmmm... the last time i checked eggs and bacon weren't vegan...
CARTMAN
well these ones are asshole!!!
KYLE
dude! don't lie to him. that's fucked up.
GREGORY
....wendy!! come and see what they're cooking for us.
****wendy walks into the kitchen and looks at the eggs and bacon in the pan.
WENDY
seriously? guys... do you have no tolerance for people with different dietary choices?
CARTMAN
damn you hippies were made for each-other. gregory's more hippy then fucking stan and all that bitch does is smoke weed.
KYLE
sorry guys.... i'll make you guys something vegan after fatass is done being a... well... a fatass
GREGORY
thank you so very much kyle!
GREGORY
see wendy at least kyle is tolerant!
****wendy and gregory go back into the living room to talk right as stan walks into the kitchen
CARTMAN
stan you're here! sorry to break it to you but you just got hippied the fuck out. gregory's definitely stealing your bitch.
STAN
shut the hell up cartman!
CARTMAN
you might have to start the journey to the clitoris again, if this shit keeps up.
****stan looks down, fidgeting.
STAN
....kyle, do you actually think he's going to steal her from me again?
STAN
i mean they are perfect for each other... i don't know...
KYLE
dude shut up. she's with you!
STAN
right... right...
CARTMAN
nah man he stealing her...
STAN
fuck off cartman
****stan walks back into the living room.
CARTMAN
......i hate hippies
*****soon enough everyone's breakfast is done, even the vegan breakfast. everyone takes their plates, sits at the dinner table and starts eating.... except for tweek. he didn't touch anything. he is way too nervous to eat.
TWEEK
i can't do this anymore!!!!!!! AH!!
CRAIG
ok this is enough... me and tweek are going to the police.
****craig grabs tweek's hand and walks to the door. craig tries to open the door but it feels like it's bolted shut.
CRAIG (YELLING)
cartman! what the hell? turn off the security system.
****cartman gets up from the table and walks over to the door.
CARTMAN
we don't have a security system asshole! you're just not as buff as me. that's why you can't open it.
****cartman tries to open the door but it's still not opening.
CARTMAN
it's just a little stuck that's all....
KYLE
what's going on?
CRAIG
the doors not budging.
TWEEK
i got an idea!!!!!!!!!!
****tweek tries breaking the glass with his fists
CARTMAN
tweek!!!!!! what in the fuck are you doing?
TWEEK
GAH!
****tweek punches the glass again causing it to break, but the glass breaking triggers a gray metal cover thing that coats the whole house like a force field. all doors and all windows are now completely closed off. they definitely have no way out now.