~1943
I was woken up to the sound of my fiancé's alarm clock, it was five in the morning. Why was it set so early? He has nowhere to go until mid morning. Surely the morning paper isn't that riveting enough. Luckily I was able to sleep a couple more hours before he barged into our shared room to force me out of bed to make him breakfast.
Never in this lifetime would I think he'd be like this. When I met John Emmons four years ago he was the nicest man I've met, other than my own twin brother and his best friend Bucky Barnes. Over the last four years of us being together, I've caught him cheating on me with multiple different women but I chose to stay with him in hopes he'd change one day.
When he proposed two years ago I thought he'd seen his past mistakes and regretted them. But no, even with the ring on my finger he cheated again and got her pregnant and paid for her to get rid of it as it would 'taint his image' as a CEO of the company his father gave him. Despite my best efforts of being his, he'd still treat me less than, as if I were the piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe. At home, he took every opportunity to either hurt me physically or verbally. And in public he'd be all over me with affection, telling me nothing but positive and loving things in my ear. Maybe that's why our engagement has lasted this long.
"Good morning, honey," I said to him, hoping his mood improved within the last half hour.
"Morning. Make me some breakfast, AG, will ya?"
His mood has not improved. I hated when he called me by those two letters. Something worse usually comes after. To keep the peace, I made him breakfast. He really could have done himself if he was that hungry.
"So, at work last night, my boss gave me the order to go to England with the next crew out. Turns out they need someone with my skill set out there."
"Tell your boss that I don't allow that," he said rather harshly and taking a swig of his morning coffee. I could smell the alcohol in it.
"John, this isn't something none of us can say 'no' to. It's somewhere I'm needed. Besides-"
"You're not going to fucking England. Not with that ring on your finger. You hear me?"
The smell on his breath told me he was already drunk at eight in the morning. This is gonna be a longer day than expected since I don't work today. And to be honest, I've grown to hate the ring on my finger for the past six months.
Once I heard John leave through the front door so he could go into the office, I called up Bucky in hopes he wanted to talk to me. I got to tell him the news that I'm leaving with him for England tomorrow. He was excited for me to come along with him, so to celebrate he invited me and John out for a triple date. I guess he found someone for Steve to tag along with us so that he doesn't get left out.
Don't get me wrong, I love my brother with all my heart but he's not the best at interacting with women. I'm probably the only one he can talk to without getting nervous and feeling awkward.
I don't care what John said this morning, I'm leaving for England and the stupid ring on my finger here in New York. I started packing my bathroom things first since I knew John wouldn't notice it right away when he gets back from work. The day went on swimmingly with him gone. He made it back just in time for the date that Bucky planned out.
"Johnny, honey, guess what," I said to him excitedly as he walked through the door.
"What," he said, slightly annoyed.
"Bucky invited us on a triple date! It's his last night here and wants tonight to be special. Doesn't that sound wonderful?"
'Triple date? Who else is gonna be there, your scrawny brother?"
"Actually yes, he is. Why wouldn't he want to be there?"
He didn't answer my question but he did go off about how he never really liked it when I hung out with Bucky even though it was always in a group setting. "You know what, that Barnes guy, he's trouble, you shouldn't hang around him."
"What do you mean by that? I've hung around him for most of my life. I'm not just gonna drop him on a dime, babe. And that's Sargent Barnes for your information."
"Oh, that's great. I don't care. He's a no good mother fucker who-"
There was a knock on the door to break his rant, thank god. I opened the door to see Steve and Bucky waiting for us. All of us went to the Stark expo to have a good time.
When we got there, two girls waved at Bucky, calling us over. It was my best friends, Mary and Libby. I haven't seen them since I got engaged. It was all too awkward for us girls but I was happy to see them again.
The six of us walked around seeing everything the expo had to offer. Howard Stark thought he had made a breakthrough in flying cars, the wheels broke off and he made a joke saving face. Technology will be a miracle one day in the future.
"Hey, Steve, John, what do you say we treat the girls-" Bucky started off but quickly learned he was only talking to John. "I'll be right back, all right?"
He walked off to find Steve. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to enlist himself in the army again. He's told me ever since the war started that he wanted to be like dad and serve for the country. It's an admirable thing and I respect it. I just don't want him to get hurt at least and at most killed.
"Autumn, how've you been lately? I'm sorry we haven't talked in a while," Libby said.
"Oh, I've been good, mostly. Just trying to keep busy with my nursing duties. I'm actually heading out tomorrow also. My boss gave me the order last night."
Her and Mary held their mouths open in shock. First they haven't really seen me in the last two years and when I do, I drop the bombshell of the news that I'm leaving too.
"My goodness, Autumn! I'm so happy for you, come home safely, please. We'll have to catch up when you get back," Mary said.
I gave the girls a warm smile and promised I'd come back straight to them. When I looked back at John, he had found a bar close by and was drinking again, and flirting with a stranger. All the confirmation I needed to leave for England whether he likes it or not.
Bucky came back alone and told me only that Steve was trying to get in the army again, apparently it was his fifth attempt this time. He's consistent, a wonderful and horrible Rogers family trait.
I knew John wasn't paying me any attention so I just said my goodbyes to the girls and Bucky and headed home. John would come home sooner or later.
Surprisingly enough he got home before midnight, while I was packing my clothes. He kept going on about how I needed to stay and 'be a good housewife'. How could I do that when I'm not even his wife?
The argument had ensued. Both of our tempers were high and he was drunk off his ass while I was packing to leave. Being an on site nurse for the army meant I had to go to England with everyone. And he didn't like it.
"John, just stop. I have to go, it's my job. What's wrong with me wanting to do that?"
He kept putting my folded clothes that were in my suitcase back into the shared closet. "You can't leave. I'm the man of the house. What I say goes, do you hear me," he said as he raised his voice louder and louder.
I could've sworn he was about to throw the bottle of whiskey at me next if I attempted to say something.
"And I'm the woman of the house, John Emmons. You are not allowed to boss me around like this. I am a person for god's sake!"
The bottle went straight for me, I had managed to dodge it as it hit the wall behind me. He grabbed me by my arms and held me so tight I could feel the bruises forming in the moment.
"All I ever needed from you is to keep your mouth shut and your legs open to make me a family! You are nothing without my name! You are staying whether you like it here or not!"
"Never in a million years would I have thought you'd turn out like this. A fucking monster," I said in a low defeated voice. I managed to leave his grip as his nails scratched me. "I'm leaving tonight. And you can take your fucking ring back. I never want to be near you ever fucking again. If you ever come near me, I swear it'll be the last day you draw a damn breath!"
"I highly doubt that sweetheart. You can't take me in a fight. Not even your scrawny, skinny brother who so desperately would dare to try."
My eyes were full to the brim with tears threatening to escape. Bucky could take him in a fight and win, I know that for sure. The ring he gave to me left my finger for one last time as I threw it towards him. Even though he was drunk off his ass he still managed to catch it.
My clothes were back in my suitcase and ready for me to leave this place for good. I was so close to the door while he kept shouting at me to come back and stay, swearing up, down, left and right that he loved me. I just couldn't believe it. I knew none of the neighbors were gonna help me. He's one of the most influential people in the city, no one would dare to mess with him.
Through my tears and the rain starting to come down, my feet subconsciously took me to Bucky's front door. Hoping he was home, I knocked on the door and he answered.
"Gracie? What are you doing here? Come in, it's raining."
"I just needed a place to stay. I hope you don't mind me crashing here."
"No, not at all. You can sleep in my bed and I can take the couch. How's that sound?"
The gentleman that Bucky Barnes is, ugh. If only he knew how much I actually loved him for almost a decade now. "Thanks Bucky. I appreciate it, truly."
"Not a problem."
I gave him the best smile I could muster. All of my emotions were all over the place. And I could finally have a good night's sleep.
It was early morning when Bucky woke me up gently. I was thankful for that. The both of us said our goodbyes to his parents and we were off.
~~~
It was all so surreal being over here in Europe. For the past two months or so I'd send Steve letters telling him what I've been doing and how everything here was. Even wrote how Bucky was even though I barely got to see him. But I never got any replies back.
Bucky would occasionally check in on me at the hospital tent even if he didn't need to be checked out.
"Okay, Barnes. Just tell me what Steve said before we left," I blurted out.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Grace," he said, blissfully unaware. I know how protective Steve can be.
"You know. You're just avoiding the question."
He threw up his hands in defeat. "He just wanted me to look out for you. Make sure you're not getting into any trouble."
"Well, trouble usually finds me, most of the time."
"Like not wearing your engagement ring? I hear all around this camp how the guys talk about you. If John were here, I don't think he would-"
"Well he's not here, okay? Why would it matter anyway?"
"Okay, now you're avoiding questions." He looked around to make sure it was just the two of us. "What happened between the two of you? I don't mean to pry, I just want to help you out."
I took a deep breath and gathered my thoughts. Do I tell him what actually happened or a nicer version of how the night went down? "We just-" I was holding back my tears the best I could "-We had a fight and it resulted in me leaving. I just happened to show up at your door that fateful night because I knew we'd be leaving on the same flight out."
"So you're single now?"
"Uh, yeah, last time I checked. Which was almost three months ago."
His signature smile appeared on his face like he was about to ask me something. Until his commanding officer called for him to gear up and head out. It was moments like those where I wish they could've been longer and to tell him my true feelings.
I brought him in for a hug. "Stay safe out there, Buck. Be smart about things."
"For you, always."