yangyang: lameee
yangyang: u went to starbucks? where are u going now
renjun: homeeee
yangyang: ahh
yangyang: any plans?
renjun: why
yangyang: :(
yangyang: i just wanna know abt ur day
renjun: i dunnooo
renjun: will probably idk
renjun: might watch a movie then sleep
yangyang: junn :(
renjun: ..
yangyang: i wanna see you
renjun: u saw me yesterday
yangyang: are you still pissed with me?
renjun: do i have any reason to be?
yangyang: idk u sure seemed to have one earlier
renjun: you're busy yangyang dont come over
yangyang: im not busy at night
yangyang: i wanna sleep next to youuu
renjun: u need rest yang
renjun: i think i need to rest too
renjun: need a destress or smtg
yangyang: renjun
yangyang: are you okay?
yangyang: genuinely asking
yangyang: ?
renjun: sorry just got home
renjun: badd day
renjun: i'll be fine tomorrow
renjun: i just nee d to sleep
yangyang: baby :C
yangyang: will it make you feel better if i came over? or are you set on wanting to be alone bcs i wont be offended
renjun: i think i just need sleep
yangyang: that's okay
yangyang: if you need anything else at all this evening i'm here
yangyang: its ok to feel a lil shit
renjun: mhm
renjun: i feel the need to cry
renjun: my chest is so heavy idk what's going on yangyang
renjun: i dont feel good
yangyang: do you need to call me?
yangyang: im at practice rn but i can run it by kun he'll understand
renjun: please
-
"hi baby. im running down the stairs from the practice room. gonna sit outside."
renjun sniffled into the phone, feeling the weight on his chest lift the tiniest amount at hearing yangyang's voice.
"yangyang."
yangyang's heart broke at the fragility of the boy's voice, and how quiet it was compared to his own.
"baby," he repeated, speaking quieter now he reached the private garden attached to the building, "what's going on? tell me."
"i jus-" renjun stammered, nails piercing into his pillow as he became frustrated with himself, his phone laid on his mattress, "i cant. i feel so shit. and i- i just- i dont know why. i've never felt like this."
yangyang nodded, as if renjun could hear him, but spoke, "it's okay. i'm here, and it's okay to feel shit," he comforted, "can you be transparent with me? i'm not there so i'm not sure. d'you think you're having a panic attack or anything? how's your chest feeling?"
renjun stayed silent for a moment, taking a deep breath before replying, "n-no. i dont thin- no, i'm not.."
"just tears?"
"mhm."
"okay," yangyang hummed, "take some deep breaths. you're fine. i'm here."
renjun never did things like this when he felt bad.
he usually put himself down, and shrugged the bad feelings away, as he had so much more he could be doing than feeling sad.
yeah, he felt a little stupid breathing heavily, but it helped, and yangyang assuring him sure did feel alot better.
"where are you?"
"i'm in bed," renjun laughed quietly, sadly, "comfy."
"mhm? have you eaten?"
"no," renjun replied, but before yangyang could get another word in, he added, "i have food on the way."
"ahh.." yangyang smiled, nodding, "good. do you wanna talk about anything?"
"no. i dont- i dont know what i woul- no.." renjun gave up, before taking another deep breath.
"it's okay. you dont need to!" yangyang said, making renjun's heart ache more, "we can sit here in silence if you really wanted."
renjun hummed once more, before they did sit in silence for a little while. renjun heard the sounds of birds through his phone, from yangyang's surroundings, and yangyang heard the occasional sniffle.
"i'll ask for the last time-" yangyang started, but before he could ask, renjun spoke,
"what time does practice finish?"
"we'll be done around seven," he responded, "so, three-hours-ish from now?"
"come over when you're done?" renjun said, as a question, but he meant it as a confirmation of permission, "i might be asleep, but jisung and jeno will be awake. they're grinding some video game in the living room or something- i dunno-"
"yeah?" yangyang nodded, "yeah, i will."
more silence as renjun laid with his eyes shut and heart rate going back to normal.
"just. come and sleep with me. i dont mind if you're gone in the morning, or if i dont even realise you arrive," he mumbled, "if you want to."
"alright. d'you want me to wake you up if you're asleep?" yangyang asked, "it might help you sleep better if you know i'm there."
renjun smiled, his heart aching as another tear sprung in his eyes, "i uh- yeah. i think so."
"okay baby," yangyang chuckled sweetly, "are you feeling okay?"
"feeling.. shit," renjun told him, honestly, "but better. thank you."
"i've gotta get back, are you gonna be alright?"
"i'll be okay. i'm gonna watch something. my food will arrive soon, i think."
"m'kay.." yangyang's heart ached at the lack of character in renjun's voice, as he spoke monotonously, "i'll have my phone on me, so text or call me if you need me. kun'll get it."
"i'll wait up for you.."
"yeah?"
"yeah.. i'll try."
"okay junnie, i'll see you later, yeah?"
"sure," renjun smiled, "thank you, love. really. and i'm sorry."
"dont apologise, jun."
"not for- this," renjun added, "for earlier. when i was an asshole."
"yeah, i know," yangyang confirmed, "dont apologise. we can talk about it in person, yeah?"
"...okay."
"you're fine baby," the younger hummed, "really. it was a bad day. i get it."
renjun felt himself well up again, as his chest felt heavy and his heartrate sped up.
yangyang could hear his breathing speed increase too, but said nothing.
"y-yeah-" he breathed out, wiping his eyes, "yeah.. it was bad, i- i'll see you in a bit. i need to sort myself out."
yangyang pouted, but let the boy go. the call ended with brief farewells, before he made his way back up to the practice room.