First part based off of Lips Of An Angel by Hinder
You and Jack had an interesting relationship, some could call it toxic, and maybe they were right, but neither of you would admit it. You had been with Jack for a little over a year and had been on and off for the last 2 years. Maybe it was a right person wrong time situation because no matter how hard either of you tried to move on it never worked, you would always come back to each other. Sometimes even when you both knew you shouldn't, like now.
Jack had a girlfriend he had been with for a couple months, and you even had a boyfriend at the moment, but that didn't stop you from calling Jack one night when you couldn't sleep. Should you be calling your boyfriend instead of Jack, maybe, but you didn't want anything other than someone to talk to. Maybe you missed Jack's voice also, it had been a couple months since you talked to him.
That's how your relationship was. You both get into other relationships, stop talking to each other, until one of you broke, calling the other or meeting up somehow, eventually breaking up with your partner to get back together, before eventually you and Jack would start fighting or break up for some reason, and then the cycle started all over again.
Your thumb hesitated over Jack's number, maybe one day you would bring yourself to delete it, but today wasn't that day, plus you had it memorized from the amount of time you spent staring at it. You glanced over to the other side of the bed, where your boyfriend had recently been sleeping, but luckily for you he was out with some friends and was going back to his place after, so he didn't disturb you when he was coming home.
You sighed as you pressed the call button, holding the phone up to your ear as you heard it start ringing.
Jack was laying on the couch with his girlfriend, watching a movie he was barely paying attention to. He would be lying if he said he hadn't been thinking about you more as of recently. He wanted to call you just as much as you wanted to call him, for some reason you couldn't stay apart for more than a couple months. If you wouldn't have been calling him tonight, you probably would have been the one getting the call.
Jack heard his phone ring, pulling it out of his pocket, his girlfriend looking over at him as he stood up to answer it.
"Just Urban, I'll be back." Jack told her, kissing the top of her head before walking out of the living room and into the bedroom. Deep down he knew why he was lying about who was calling him, it became an automatic habit every time.
Jack closed the door behind him, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Looking at the clock, seeing it was almost midnight. He sighed and pressed answer, holding the phone up to his ear.
"Hi baby." Jack whispered, calling you by the name that no matter how much time you spent apart was only made for you.
"Hi Jack." You smiled softly but at the same time your eyes started to water as the sound of his voice, missing him even more.
"I'm going to have to whisper, I can't talk to loud right now." Jack told you, and you sighed once again.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called, this was stupid." You started to apologize before Jack interrupted.
"It's okay, don't apologize." Jack reassured you, he never minded when you called him, he liked it.
"Is she there right now?" You asked, even though you already knew the answer. Your voice cracking when you talked as you started to cry. Jack nodded even though you couldn't see him.
"Yeah, she's in the other room, that's why I have to be quiet." Jack explained, both of you knew that already, it wasn't the first time you had been in this situation. "Are you crying? Are you okay?" Jack asked.
"I just miss you, Jack." You said, wiping the tears that were falling from your eyes. Jack's heart breaking as he heard you crying through the phone.
"I miss you too." Jack sighed, running his hand through his hair as he leaned back on the bed. "Sometimes I wish she was you." Jack muttered, but loud enough that you could hear. He knew he shouldn't be saying those words, especially about his girlfriend, who he claimed to love, but it was the truth.
"You say that every time, it's hard to believe you anymore." You told him and Jack rolled his eyes.
"So, you're telling me, you moved on? If you had, you wouldn't have called me." Jack retaliated, making you roll your eyes, this time at his arrogance.
"I have a boyfriend." You said, causing Jack to laugh softly.
"Yet you're talking to me right now. We both know either of us being in a relationship hasn't stopped anything before." Jack said. He was right, which made everything worse. You weren't just hurting each other. You were hurting other people.
"And you have a girlfriend, but you answered the phone. You didn't have to answer." You told him.
"Does your boyfriend know you're talking to me?" Jack asked, ignoring your last statement.
"No, he's out for the night." You said, playing with the hem of your shirt as you talked.
"Will he be mad if he finds out?" You sighed.
"I don't know, probably. I'm not sure how much he cares if I'm honest. We aren't really that serious yet." You told Jack. "What about your girlfriend? Does she know?"
"No, I wouldn't have to be quiet if she did. She doesn't have any idea. I told her you were Urban. If you're asking if she will be mad, yeah, she will." Jack paused. "I told her I loved her the other day." Jack said randomly, and you weren't sure it was to avoid the awkward silence or to hurt you. It hurt you more then you expected it to.
"Oh." You bit your lip as your eyes started to water again. "Do you?" You asked, unsure if you wanted to know the answer.
"Honestly, no. Fuck I know that sounds bad, and it probably is, but I just, I don't know." Jack sighed, running his hand through his hair.
"Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?" You asked as you started to cry again, leaning up against your headboard. Even though you were asking a rhetorical question, Jack still answered.
"Because there is something about you that I can't find in any other girl. No matter how much we fight, how much we say we can't stand to be around each other, we try anyways. We think every time it's going to be different, that this time it will work, but then something happens, and we give up." Jack said.
"We're not good for each other." You paused. "Because as much time as I spend loving you, I spend just as much time hating you. The only reason I think that it will be different is because that's what you promise. You promise me that you'll change, you'll put more effort into our relationship, you'll stop flirting with any girl you talk to. You never do. It lasts a couple months until everything is back to how it always is."
"It's not all my fault." Jack argued. "Like that time we were arguing, and you went and got high with Urban and tried to kiss him. Or that other time that you came on tour with me only to get mad at me for not being able to give you my full attention all the time, or how we argue every time a girl even looks at me in a way you don't like." You sighed, you couldn't even manage to get through a conversation without an argument.
"I do love you, its just, sometimes you make it so hard to." You told Jack.
"I know I do." Jack sighed. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to. I love you too you know?"
"I know, if we didn't love each other, we wouldn't be doing this right now." You said, even though you knew it was the opposite. If either of you loved the other one, you wouldn't keep doing this to each other. Maybe neither of you loved the other, maybe you both just loved having the other one willing to drop everything for you, having them in your control.
"I miss you." Jack said again, looking over to the clock, seeing he had been on the phone with you for a while.
"Miss you too." You smiled softly to yourself. "Do you want to come over?" You asked.
"I don't think I can leave without her getting suspicious." Jack sighed. "I really want too though. I want to see you. We should talk in person."
"Tomorrow? You said you told her it was Urban calling, right? Just tell her something came up with him." You suggested.
"Okay, I can do that." Jack agreed.
"Text me when you're on your way, I'll make sure my boyfriend isn't around, he shouldn't be but just in case." You told Jack and he nodded even though you couldn't see him. Jack heard the movie stop playing, and his girlfriend getting off the couch.
"Uh, I got to go, I'll see you tomorrow, love you." Jack smiled softly.
"Okay, let me know when you're coming over. Love you too." You said before Jack hung up the phone, letting out a breath that you didn't know you were holding, eventually getting in bed, and falling asleep. Jack stood up from the bed, starting to walk towards the door so it didn't look like he hung up because she was coming. Jack smiling at her after she opened the door.
"Hey, sorry that took so long." Jack apologized, though he didn't mean it.
"It's okay." She smiled at him softly.
"Something happened to the pictures from the last photoshoot, so I have to go tomorrow so Urban can reshoot it." Jack told her.
"Oh, I didn't know you did a photoshoot with Urban recently." She said.
"Uh, it was a last-minute thing, we did it last week." Jack lied, but he was so used to this situation at this point that he was convincing with his lies. She didn't think anything of it and nodded.
"Okay."
"Ready for bed?" Jack asked her as he sat on the bed, laying back to get comfortable as she nodded again, climbing into bed, and laying down in Jack's arms, and it didn't take long for her to fall asleep, but Jack couldn't stop thinking about you.
At some point in your relationship with Jack, it became you two trying to see who could hurt the other one the most. Was it healthy? No, but neither of you were ready to figure out what your relationship actually was. If two did love each other and wanted to try to make your relationship work, instead of continuing the back and forth that was your relationship now. But neither of you were going to be the first one to leave for good. You both knew what you were doing wasn't good for either of you, but you couldn't stop going back to each other for some reason.
You would figure that out eventually, but you weren't sure how many more times you were going to have to hurt each other before that happened.